What If You Could Have Wished Me Away
by Crookshanks.x
Summary: A hooded stranger shows up at Hermione and Ginny's flat one evening, delivering strange warnings. Unfortunately, the warnings make all too much sense to Hermione. She has a secret, and it's about to get unraveled in an attempt to save her life. DHr.
1. Prologue : Stay Safe

**Disclaimer:** I do not own a single thing. It's actually rather sad.

**A/N: **I wrote this story earlier this year, and it was completed this summer. It has not been submitted to any archives, though, and I figured it was about time it did. So I hope you'll like this; my very first D/Hr fanfic.

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_**Prologue ;**__** Stay Safe**_

"Ginny, they didn't have your shampoo," Hermione called through the dark apartment just as she dumped the grocery bags on the kitchen table. She looked around for her house mate, peeking around the corner by the entrance to the kitchen, but she was nowhere to be seen. Hermione shrugged and started putting the groceries in the fridge.

She got wrapped up in her own mind as she so often did, letting the small details roam free and the bigger issues hide deep down where she couldn't find them. It had become quite a defense mechanism over the years. There was always too much in her mind to handle at once, and Ginny often laughed at how she worried over silly little details.

A sudden misplaced squeak made her straighten up in alarm. The darkness outside the kitchen revealed nothing, but she knew what she had heard. The war might be over, but she still had her instincts quite intact.

"Ginny?" she tried worryingly, moving cautiously out towards their living room.

The sight of a tall, hooded stranger standing in the eerie glow from the street light outside the window made her come to an abrupt halt. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest on the small patch of yellow flickering over their wooden floors. She instantly fell numb. Her wand was, stupidly enough, lying on the kitchen table, and she could have hit her head in exasperation at her own stupidity.

"Who are you?" she said sternly, way more confident than she really felt in all her wandless glory.

"That is of less importance," he replied coolly.

"I don't think it is," she bit back. "You're standing in my living room, and I sure didn't invite you in."

"I come with warnings," he said, ignoring her complaint. "That's all you need to know."

Her eyes shot up in alarm at his words. A stranger who refused to reveal his face bringing warnings. It was certainly not a good sign. Definitely not good at all. She tried to keep the worry off her face, but it must have shown. The figure before her began stirring slightly, as if unnerved by what he saw.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" Ginny cried from the hallway of their apartment, giving Hermione a horrified look. To Hermione's relief, her friend held a wand tightly in her right hand, pointing it straight at the hooded man by the window.

"I'm here to warn you," he said dully, still keeping his hands enclosed over his chest.

"Then give your warnings and leave," Ginny commanded, still keeping him in the aim of her wand.

The both of them watched him in unease as he began pacing back and forth in the sickening glow from the outside. Hermione felt her throat close up, dreading what was to come.

"The Dark Lord fell 3 years ago, but his followers did not," he proclaimed, stopping abruptly to look at them where they stood eyeing him cautiously. "They are rallying around a new leader."

"Who?" Ginny asked quickly, but Hermione already knew the answer.

"Lucius Malfoy," she nearly squeaked, feeling sick to her stomach.

"I'm afraid so," the man said, bowing his head in something that resembled shame. But that didn't even make sense. She shook her head in confusion. "He is gathering followers. But I am taking this to Potter right after I've been here. The Order will need to take this on, without Lucius Malfoy finding out that you know."

Ginny and Hermione exchanged frightened looks, realising how long it had been since the doom of war had hung over their heads. She swallowed quickly, trying with all her might to forget the losses from the war. However miraculously small they were, they were more than heavy enough to keep them from moving on with their lives. They had lost a best friend and brother, along with other friends and acquaintances, and not to mention her parents. The thought of it alone made her feel rushed with panic and stricken with grief again, as if it had happened yesterday.

"If you're taking this to Harry anyway, then why are you here?" Ginny demanded, making Hermione realise just how little sense that made. Her eyes flickered slightly over to the tall man, still covered in black from head to toe. Every part of his face lay in the shadows of his hood, making it impossible to make an educated guess on who it might be. But somehow Hermione knew all too well who it was. She just refused to believe it, refused to let the thought even surface at all, because it was just too painful.

"Because it is important that you know who is at the top of his wanted list," he said finally, the opening in his hood facing her way now. She felt coldness take over from within, knowing deep down that what she had anticipated for so long had happened.

"That's Harry, we know that," Ginny said impatiently.

"It's not Potter," he said impatiently. "Lucius Malfoy happens to be driven by more personal issues on this point."

"No…" Hermione groaned, hiding her face in her hands. "I...no."

"Hermione, what are you on about? Don't be silly, he's not coming for you," Ginny reassured quickly, giving the tall man a quick glance, waiting for him to confirm her words.

"I'm afraid he is," he said coldly, every emotion drained from his voice. "You need to watch your back very carefully. I presume the Orders have some sort of headquarter or safe house? You should hide there. Don't show yourself in public from now on."

"But why would he want Hermione?!" Ginny yelled in despair, throwing her worried looks.

Hermione felt herself pale, struggling to keep the memories from surfacing. She had hidden them so deep within her years ago, knowing she couldn't deal with them . Her tactic had been to forget, and it had been working out well. Until now.

"Like I said; Personal reasons," he replied shortly.

"What personal reasons?" Ginny cried, throwing her hands up in the air. "She hasn't done him anything. Sure, she was a part of the battle like the rest of us, but there were people who ended up doing more damage than her!"

"They're called personal for a reason, Ms. Weasley," he said coldly. "She knows what I'm referring to, and she's the only one who needs to know."

Ginny's head snapped towards her pale face, giving her a look of utter shock.

"Is that true?" she whispered.

"Yes," Hermione admitted, looking at the floor. She could no longer ignore who was standing in front of her, and it was throwing her more off balance than she thought it would. Her hands trembled uncomfortably, but it wasn't out of fright.

"I don't understand how he found out," she whispered in pain, feeling the tears break free from the corner of her eyes. "I tried so hard.

"Sadly, I can't give you an answer to that," he said quietly, his tone completely changed. "I don't know either."

Ginny looked completely taken aback for a second, before she rushed over to Hermione and wrapped her hand around her shoulders, holding her close. "It's okey."

"No, it's not," Hermione muttered, feeling the cold dread in the pit of her stomach. And even with the threat of death hanging above her head, she was still painfully aware of his presence. It couldn't be anyone else. The pain of the memories flushed over her, making her sway slightly.

"Are you okey?" Ginny asked in concern, holding her tighter, but Hermione broke gently free from her touch. She moved as though in a trance, watching the distance between them falter away by each step she took. Her heart caught in her throat, and she watched as his chest contracted in a deep breath when she got too close. When she raised her head she looked straight into the hood, which could no longer hide him from her. She caught his steel grey eyes with hers, finding herself caught in a whirl of emotions she had buried ages ago.

"Why did you warn me?" she whispered, fighting the urge to reach out to him.

"Why do you think?" he replied, but not in the tone of voice you would expect.

She didn't reply, feeling suddenly numbed by the emotions that struggled for space in her mind. This was all too bizarre. It was too much after all this time keeping it closed in.

"Stay safe," he said intensely, and before she could reply, or even move, he had disapparated out of their apartment, leaving behind nothing but a shaken Hermione and her horrified house mate.

"Hermione," she breathed heavily. "You are going to tell me everything. Right now."

"I can't," Hermione said in a pained voice.

"You can and you will."

"It's been kept secret for so long, and it'll just end up with you hating me."

"Stop being silly, I won't hate you."

"You don't know the story."

"Then tell me," Ginny said fiercely, running over to grab her shoulders.

"No. I can't."

"Your life is on the line, Hermione. I need to know so that I can help protect you. Someone will need to know, and to be honest, I think you'd rather want it to be me."

Hermione gaped at that, realising with a sudden dread that Ginny was right. She was the one person Lucius Malfoy wanted to kill the very most, she would need to hide at the Headquarters. Someone would need to know, and she was very sure that Harry was not the one to tell.

Silently acknowledging defeat, she led Ginny to the couch by the fire in their still dark living room. They sat down in each end of it, curled up against their fluffy pillows. Ginny lit a fire quickly with her outstretched wand.

"Start from the beginning," she urged, resting her head against the back of the couch.

"I think it would suit to start with the beginning of our 7th year, then," Hermione said slowly, completely baffled by the fact that she was actually telling someone. Letting the memories out of their secure hiding place wasn't going to be easy, she knew that all too well. But this was her life on the line.

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**Important note:**

I have gotten questions and comments on this, so I decided to give a warning:

Ginny will not be getting just a brief summary of the story. I intend to give the full story of what happened at Hogwarts, and then continue on in the 'prologue era' and tell the story of the fight for her life.

I just wanted to say this, cause there seemed to be some who thought I would just give a summary of what happened earlier. However, about half the fic centers on the past, so if you think that'll be boring, etc, I'd like to give you the oportunity to not waist your time. hehehehe.

Thanks for reading and I hope you'll stay with me. :D

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	2. I : Friends And Foes

**Disclaimer:** I...donotown...donotown. Doo nooot oooown. -jazzhands-

**PLEASE READ:** I would like to apologize in advance for the Head Girl / Head Boy cliché, but when I wrote this I didn't really know how many HG/HB there actually are out there. I hope you'll give it a chance anyway, cause I swear it's not your run of the mill story.

This chapter is betaed by the amazing elyaeru. Any mistakes, bad grammar or crappy writing is _entirely_ on me, though :P

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_**I ; Friends And Foes**_

"Get out of my sight!" Hermione cried as he leaned over the back of the armchair, smirking at her in a superior manner.

"Oh, but, Mudblood," he said in a fake pleasant voice. "Bothering you is the only good thing about this predicament."

"The only good thing is that we don't share a bedroom," she snapped, flipping the page of her book more forcefully than she honestly needed.

"Tsk, tsk. Aren't we dirty?"

"Don't you just wish, Malfoy."

"I clearly don't. You honestly don't think I would want to mingle with your Mudblood self, do you?"

"Just leave me alone."

"There's no fun in that."

"And where's the fun in this, you moronic git?!"

"You're getting all worked up and I get to look down on you."

"It's bad enough that I have to share this bloody common room with you. The least you can do is stay out of it as much as you can. Now, be a good Slytherin and go back to your own dormitory."

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm as much Head Boy as you are Head Girl, and I'm definitely staying."

"Fine, I'm not going anywhere."

"Good, I've always wanted to have my own Mudblood who could grovel at my feet."

"You bloody prick."

She jumped so quickly out of the couch that her book fell to the floor with a loud thud. The insolent smirk that never left his face hadn't even faltered the tiniest bit. She wanted to wipe it off with the foulest curse she knew, but her new found status kept her back. There was no way she could keep being Head Girl if she cursed the Head Boy, even if he was the slimiest git in the history of the Wizarding World.

"I try my very best."

She gave him a look of pure loathing, before she ran up to her room and slammed her door shut. When someone knocked on it only moments later, she felt her blood boil so furiously she nearly snapped her own wand in two.

"Leave me alone," she bellowed so loudly her throat hurt.

"Oh, alright," she heard Ginny say from the outside, and she groaned loudly.

"No, Ginny... wait," she said in her normal voice, throwing the door open just as Ginny was about to descend down the stairs towards her common room again. "I thought you were Malfoy."

"Ah, yes. It's such a striking resemblance," Ginny replied sarcastically, but smiled nonetheless.

"Need I remind you that you were behind the door?" Hermione asked in an amused tone, beckoning her inside. "Where's Harry and Ron?"

"Being immature kids as always."

"Don't know why I asked."

"I just thought I'd come check out your new dormitories. I need to know you'll be fine now that I'm not there to look after you," Ginny said, smiling in a slightly teasing fashion.

"A grand tour is in order, I think."

Hermione held out her hand in an overdone gesture. "This is my bedroom."

Her favourite part of the new dormitories, quite understandably. It was the only private thing she had, and it was spacious and cosy, with a warm red colour on the walls. Her bed was twice as big as the one she had back in the Gryffindor Tower, and she couldn't wait to get a good night's sleep in it.

"This is just gorgeous. I'm so going for Head Girl next year," Ginny said grinning, running her fingers along the bedspread.

"Just pray you won't have to share with a Slytherin," she said bitterly, opening a door on the right wall. A large tiled bathroom hid on the other side, complete with two sinks and two mirrors, as well as the shower and the toilet.

"You have to share the bathroom?!" Ginny asked in disbelief, looking around in awe. "Poor you."

"Yeah, tell me about it. That just spells disaster through and through," she sighed, shaking her head at the stupid situation.

"Then I guess this door goes into his bedroom?"

"Yep. Guess I'm locking that door while I'm in here," she stated dryly before she yelped in shock as the door in question opened wide.

"I thought I already told you I wouldn't go near you if you paid me," the blond boy stated matter-of-factly as he entered, holding a white towel over his arm.

She didn't reply. The arguments between them had grown extremely tiring and it was only the first day out of excruciatingly many. She crossed her hands over her chest and glared at him with the most menacing look she could conjure up.

"Do you mind?" he asked coldly, making her realise he was about to take a shower. She flushed furiously and grabbed Ginny by the hand. They darted out of the bathroom, leaving him standing there with his stupid smirk.

"Oh God. I hate his guts," Hermione exclaimed. "This is just too much."

Ginny put her hand soothingly on her arm.

"It's alright, Hermione. It's Malfoy. Just try to ignore him as best you can."

"I don't know if I can. But come, let me show you the rest."

They walked slowly down the stairs into the spacious common room she shared with The Git. The walls were a pattern of dark colours, including all the house colours, but it was tasteful and subtle, and complimented nicely by the two armchairs and the couch placed in a circle by the fireplace.

"We also have a small kitchen over there by the stairs," Hermione pointed, making Ginny moan in envy.

"Ron will die when he finds out." Ginny chuckled. "Wow, your own kitchen."

"I'll still be coming down for meals," Hermione reassured her. "Well, at least most of them. I might not bother to run down for breakfast that often."

"I wouldn't either," Ginny commented, and opened the fridge, that filled itself with whatever they needed. Hermione chose to ignore the knowledge that it was the house-elves providing these things for them.

Hermione sat down in the comfy armchair with Ginny taking a place in the one opposite her. They talked comfortably among themselves, making Hermione realise what she was missing.

"I wish I was sharing this with you."

"You wish I was Head Boy? I would if I could."

Hermione chuckled. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do. But you'll be fine."

"I'll hold you to that."

Not too long after, Ginny left her sitting limply in the big armchair, staring absently into the creaking flames. Her mind refused to function properly, shutting down from the exhaustion of constantly walking on eggshells. She was stuck — stuck in hell.

---

They were both unbelievably stubborn. Neither of them caved in to the other's annoyed glances and threats, and worse yet.. they both knew the other had just as much right to be there. It had become a matter of principle for her. Of course she could spend her days in the library, but that would mean that he had won. It would mean he had driven her out of something that was rightfully hers.

So they sat in the common room pretending the other person wasn't around. It was pretty much easier that way. At least he wasn't yelling 'Mudblood!' Every five minutes.

"Stop touching my end of the table," he suddenly said in a snobbish voice.

"_Your_ end of the table?" she mimicked incredulously.

"Yes. This is my end. That's your end. Remove your book from my noble part of it."

"Since when did we turn into five year old children who can't share anything?"

"Since we got stuck her together," he bit, pushing her book away with a disgusted grimace.

"You've got to be joking."

"I'm not. Stay on your end."

"You're unbelievable," she shrieked in frustration. "Do you just like being a brat?"

"I'm trying to make this entire thing easier," he snapped angrily.

"By drawing a line across the table?" she answered coolly. "What are you going to do next, divide the common room in half so I get the kitchen and you get the portrait hole?"

"Not a bad idea, Mudblood, I got to hand you that." Malfoy smirked, swinging his feet up on his end.

"You're such a child," she huffed, giving him a cold look.

"I just don't like you touching my stuff."

"I haven't touched your stuff. This is _our_ stuff," she exclaimed with a descriptive hand movement.

"Watch it. I could easily have my dad buy it," he threatened with a pleased grin.

"Oh yeah, your precious Death Eater father. Like McGonagall would let him buy the Head Tower," Hermione said, rolling her eyes. "Heads are supposed to be neutral authority figures. Kind of ironic if Lucius Malfoy owned their quarters."

"A Head can never be entirely neutral anyway," he stated. "It's insane to think that when the school divides you into houses right when you come here. Everyone has a loyalty to the House they've been living in for the past six years."

"True enough. But as Heads, our job is to not let that surface too much. You can be loyal to your house without being discriminating."

"I don't know if you can," he said, shrugging.

She had a sudden thought, looking at him oddly.

"Is that why you're being so nasty with me? House loyalty? Can't live with a Mudblood without being awful to her, it would be so un-Slytherin?"

"Don't flatter yourself," he replied, but a slight grin played on his face. "I might just dislike you immensely."

"And why would you just dislike me?"

"Wow, isn't that very self righteous of you," he commented dryly, and sounded at least a bit amused. "Well, first off… you're an insufferable know-it-all, and you never loosen up. You're stiff as a board, walking around with your nose in the sky clutching the entire library in your arms. You're so dull you could bore anyone to death."

"What's it to you if I'm 'stiff as a board'?" she replied indignantly, not looking him in the eyes anymore. She never saw herself as strict or a tight ass. She knew she was a bit of a control freak, and she liked to read and she found rules an important asset to society. But she knew how to have fun. Her friends were trouble makers and she had loosened up severely over the past years with them. The comment stung more than she cared to admit.

"It's annoying," he said dully, dusting a piece of lent off his sweater.

"Yeah, and you're not the least bit annoying," she said sarcastically, still feeling offended by his comment.

"Oh please, tell me."

"To start with the obvious… you're arrogant. Probably more arrogant than anyone I've ever met. You think everyone's beneath you because you live in a mansion and your blood is 'clean', meaning that you come from a long line of incest, basically. And you feel the need to always pick on anyone who might possibly be a threat to you in any way. You never drop the façade you've been hiding behind, and the real you is drowning in so much bullshit that no one ever gets to know you"

When she fell quiet, she saw something she would never have anticipated. His face fell in a sudden expression of confusion, his mouth even dropped slightly open, but within seconds his mask was back on. She shook her head and had a strong suspicion that she had hit the nail on the head. At least she had managed to shut him up.

---

Potions class the next day was anything but a pleasant affair. She took a seat with Harry as she always did, and ignored the sour look Malfoy sent in her direction.

"What's up with Malfoy? He seems more unpleasant than usual," Harry said, glancing over her shoulder. "I can't believe I just said that."

"I think I offended him last night," she said quickly without looking up. Her eyes were set on the cauldron she was setting up before Professor Lewthorn would enter.

"Offended him? You can't offend Malfoy," he said incredulously, looking at her with his eyebrows raised.

"You can if you hit the right spot, apparently. He's been mopey all morning," she replied dryly. "And a mopey Malfoy is somehow almost worse than the arrogant bastard."

"I can see that," Harry said, sounding unnerved. "He's staring at you with a very displeased expression."

"He just can't handle the fact that I've figured him out," she said uninterestedly.

"Figured him out?"

"Well. Saw through his stupid act, I suppose," she said, but then fell thoughtful. "I guess I haven't actually figured him out. But I know he puts up an act most of the time. I can see it when his face puts on that stupid smirk."

"I hope you aren't suggesting he's this cute little teddy bear on the inside," Harry said in disgust.

"Obviously not," Hermione replied dryly. "It's Draco Malfoy after all."

Professor Lewthorn entered moments later, and they began to work in silence. All while she got up to get her ingredients, chopped them up and started working on the potion she felt his glare of loathing on her. It was starting to annoy her more than she could take. So what if she had offended him? They argued almost every day, but none of them usually bent out of shape just because of that. She felt a sudden urge to turn around and scream him right in the face.

When their class was over, she followed Harry quickly out of the door to get away from the uncomfortable stare. She felt dread surge through her, and rolled her eyes violently when she heard his voice behind her.

"Wait up, Mudblood. I don't think we finished up yesterday," he called, smirking at her expression.

"You stopped talking," she said in exasperation and started to walk towards the stairs.

"You think you've got me down so well. But you clearly don't. It's just your know-it-all self showing again," he said, obviously following right behind them. "And no one wants you to meddle in their business, except maybe Potter here. So keep your stupid psychoanalysis to yourself from now on."

"You asked me to tell you why you were annoying and I did."

She bit her lip furiously, wishing he would just get off her back.

"Just stop thinking you know me. You don't, and you never will, Mudblood."

"Thank God," she bit in annoyance and picked up her pace.

She managed to shake him off, but unfortunately Harry hadn't kept up either. When she noticed he was gone, she waited at the top of the stairs impatiently tapping her foot. Who did Malfoy think he was anyway? He had asked her to tell, and she had, and now he was being a brat about it all. Not too surprising, she supposed, but it was driving her insane.

Harry surfaced moments later, and she dragged him into the Great Hall for lunch, determined not to run into Malfoy again.

"Just ignore him," Harry said as they sat down by the table, making both Ron and Ginny's heads snap up.

"Ignore who?" Ginny asked curiously.

"Malfoy."

"That arse," Ron huffed, crossing his hands over his chest.

"You don't even know what he's done yet," Hermione said, fighting an amused grin.

"I don't need to. The name speaks for itself."

She shook her head in amusement before piling food on her plate. Without contributing, she listened to Ron, Harry and Ginny talk about Quidditch and how the team was doing. The feeling of normalcy hit her, and it made her feel so much calmer. It was as if there was no Head Tower to share with Malfoy. Everything was back to normal. At least she could pretend for now.

"You should come watch a practise," Ginny suggested enthusiastically while reaching for the butter on the other side of the table

Normally, Hermione was not one for Quidditch, not even when it was her friends playing. But the prospect of spending time with them made her cheer up even more.

"Maybe so. Tell me when there is one, and I'll see if I have time," she replied, smiling widely.

They finished their meals and left for afternoon classes, luckily none of them with Malfoy in it.

---

Later that night she came back to the common room after having spent ages in the library. She dropped her books down on the table, before heading into the kitchen. From the cupboards she fetched a glass and a plate, and opened the fridge to get the sandwich she had prepared earlier that day. With a frown she realised she couldn't find it anywhere. Absent-mindedly she poured herself a glass of orange juice just as Malfoy came down the stairs chewing on what was definitely her evening snack.

"You've taken my sandwich!" she cried in exasperation, giving him a dark look. She was dead hungry after studying.

"I found it in the fridge," he dismissed, shuffling his feet on the way to the couch.

"Yes, you nitwit, I made it and put it in the fridge for later," she snapped, slamming the door to the fridge shut in anger.

"How was I supposed to know that?" he asked with an indifferent tone, still biting into her food with eagerness.

"Do you think sandwiches make themselves? That the bread walks out of the bag and fetches the ham and cheese on its way?"

Her mouth fell open when she realised that was just what he thought. He didn't reply, but his eyes had grown a bit bigger by her words, and she eyed him in disbelief.

"You actually thought the house-elves had made it for you?"

"So what if I did?" he said, his voice growing louder now.

"It's just… that's not how the world works, you know," she replied, turning around to see if there was any more bread. She found two small pieces that would have to do, and made the smallest sandwich she had seen in a while.

"It's how my world works," he retorted, and she felt his eyes on her as she put her tiny sandwich on the plate.

"It might not be like that forever," she said, now feeling calmer, knowing he hadn't done it to be mean. "Maybe you should consider living in the world everyone else roams about in."

He eyed her as she sat down in an armchair, putting the plate down on the table. She looked at her food in contempt, sighing heavily.

"And it might be like that forever, and I can continue to live in my own fairytale world."

She looked up at him and felt almost unnerved by his naivety.

"If there's one thing I've learned while attending Hogwarts, it's this… there is no such thing as a fairytale world," she said, curling her feet underneath her body and grabbed the plate with the sandwich. "Bad things happen to people who don't deserve it. They grow up without parents, people die from you when you most begin to appreciate them and some of us repeatedly get the carpet pulled out underneath our feet."

There was a silence.

"There are no guarantees," she continued, almost talking more to herself now. "Not even if you're pureblood. Not even if you're The Chosen One. Not even if your life seems perfect at the time."

"My, aren't we cheerful," Malfoy muttered, but looked uncomfortable at her words.

"It's not about that. It's about being realistic. Life may not always be easy."

"I suppose you're right."

"I'm sorry?" she said, her eyes darting up in surprise. "I'm right?"

"Don't push it, Granger."

She grinned, and bit into her tiny sandwich. Truth be told she could probably have eaten the entire thing in one swallow. He gave her a long look, and then rose from his seat and left her staring absently into the flames of the fire.

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**A/N:** Thanks everyone for their sweet reviews. :D I hope you like this new chapter and that you'll want to keep reading. E-hugs to Iluvdolphins, cosmopolitan, darbythomas, dracoshott28, Indulgent Writer, Rose.Ashton.Jade.Riddle.Malfoy, Sarahyyy, magic2007, nic smiles and elyaru (yes, my evilness is quite remarkable. You know you love the dark pairings, though ;) ). 


	3. II : Forbidden Territory

**Disclaimer:**All I own is the clothes on my back, some school books and a few CDs.

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_**II ; Forbidden Territory**_

She woke the next morning feeling rested and optimistic. Because of what, she didn't really know, but she enjoyed it. She got dressed before she entered the bathroom, still paranoid about sharing it, but he was nowhere to be seen. She brushed her teeth, and fought with her hair to make it lie straighter. It was still bushy, but she gave up and groaned at the sight in the mirror. She knew her features looked more mature now than it had at this point last year, but she still looked a bit childish, in her own opinion. Maybe it would have looked better if her hair wasn't so darn bushy.

She forced herself away from the mirror, and went downstairs to find her items for class. Her books lay on the table where she had left them last night, and as her eyes fell on them she quickly noticed the blond hair sticking up from one of the armchairs. She decided against wishing him a good morning, realising it would probably just invite to more insults and arguments.

Feeling her stomach complain loudly, she turned towards the kitchen to get some breakfast. She found herself a plate and a glass from the cupboard, and opened the fridge absently. It looked almost empty at first glance, and she wondered when it was going to get filled again. Then she noticed a sandwich resting on a plate on the top shelf. She frowned and reached for it.

A yellow note was pinned to the top of it, reading 'Granger', and her eyebrows shot up in complete surprise. She couldn't believe it. Some part of her told her to look for poison, but she shook it out quickly.

"You made me a sandwich," she said, her voice mirroring the utter shock she still felt.

"I took yours. It's only fair," he said from the chair.

"But I'm a Mudblood," she said, almost teasingly. She sat down in the other armchair with the food he had made her, looking over at where he sat with a book in his lap. Her book, she noticed, but didn't object.

"I still have to live with you, and I don't feel like arguing."

She nodded at that, knowing the constant bickering was tearing them both down. It was easy being enemies when you only saw each other a couple of times a week. Having to interact all the time, and still keeping up with the insults and the dislike, was proving harder than she cared to think about.

"Right," she said thoughtfully. "Well, thank you."

"No need to go to such extremes as thank you," he said, obviously embarrassed by the whole thing.

She grinned at his discomfort, suddenly feeling like Malfoy had more layers than she had appreciated before.

"Just being polite," she replied, and bit into her sandwich. She ate in silence, watching him flip the pages in her transfiguration book. His hair looked different, she suddenly realised. It was usually neatly slicked back. Now it was rather unruly, and it fell into his eyes as he bent over the book. She felt the urge to stroke it away from his forehead, but quickly reminded herself who he was.

She ate the rest in a hurry, and left quickly, hoping to escape from her disturbing thoughts. It resulted in her sitting in the Great Hall with her friends as they finished their breakfast before classes.

"Have some food," Ron urged, never being one to pass up food himself.

"I already ate up in the Head Tower." She smiled, declining the piece of toast he held out to her.

"Two breakfasts are better than one," he replied, stuffing his face with what was on his plate. She chuckled, shaking her head.

"I'm so full right now. I don't know how you do it!"

"Ugh, don't try to force feed the poor girl," Harry chastised, but smiled nonetheless. Hermione's eyebrows shot up when his smile stiffened and he gave her an alarmed look. She turned around to see Malfoy heading straight towards them. Panic rose in her throat, wondering if he was going to be an ass already before eight AM in the morning. Her friends looked annoyed and she caught Ron and Ginny sharing a roll of their eyes.

"Coming to stir some shit, Malfoy?" Harry asked in a cold voice, staring him down.

To Hermione's complete confusion, Malfoy ignored his comment completely.

"You forgot your transfiguration book, Granger," he said instead, completely ignoring her friends. She looked up at him, feeling severely puzzled, wondering where on earth this transformation came from.

"Thanks," she replied quickly, taking the book from him. She watched him with an odd expression as he turned to walk away, wondering what had gotten in to him all of a sudden. As she wondered why he was so changed, she began realising he might not have changed at all. Perhaps he had always been like that, just very, very deep down.

Every time she opened the doors to their dormitories the following days her heart paced up in fright of finding him there, and just as often, she sighed in exasperation over finding him sitting on the couch. Ignoring his presence had grown more difficult to her great despair, and being around him had grown steadily more awkward. Yet again she braced herself for another afternoon with him, as he never was absent when she entered, and swung the portrait open. An empty common room stared back at her, and her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

She held her breath, as she listened for sounds from upstairs, but there were none. Unsure of what to do when she finally found herself alone for once, she stood rooted to the floor in the middle of the common room. It was what she had longed for ever since the beginning of the year, but now that she had it, it felt weird and out of place.

Deep in thought, she fell down onto the couch and swung her feet up on the table. The peace and quiet let her focus easier, and her homework was done quicker than she had anticipated. It was nearing the evening as she finished the second essay, and she found her thoughts churning uncomfortably around in her head. Something wasn't right. Her instinct was screaming at her. She knew it wasn't abnormal for someone to be out of the common room, she was at the library a lot of the time, but he never did that. She had never really seen him out of it outside classes, and her instincts were sending off alarm signals in her head. Something was up, she was sure of it.

She debated for several minutes whether or not to look for him. If nothing was wrong, she would make a complete fool of herself. But if something was up, and she sat here doing nothing, she would feel awful. Why would she feel awful? It was Malfoy! She reminded herself sternly that he was a human being like the rest of them, and with sudden determination, she got her cloak off the wall and darted out the portrait hole.

She spent the better part of an hour looking around the castle. He wasn't in the library, the Great Hall, in any of the empty classrooms she had peered into or in the Slytherin Common Room. She had asked a frightened looking second year if she had seen him in there, and she had shaken her head quickly before darting off.

Getting rather frustrated at this, she lit up when she found Blaise Zabini talking to a Slytherin girl at the foot of the stairs.

"Have you seen Malfoy?" she asked quickly, without bothering with pleasantries. He eyed her in annoyance and straightened up. His black hair was ruffled up, probably on purpose, and she found herself being happy she had interrupted his attempt to chat up the poor girl.

"What's it to you if I've seen him?" Zabini retorted, looking anything but happy to see her.

"McGonagall wants to see us," she lied, knowing Zabini could never know it wasn't true. God, Malfoy was having a bad influence on her. Or maybe it was a delayed reaction to being around Harry and Ron for so long.

"He took his broom out for a flight down at the pitch, but that was hours ago," he said after a moment's hesitation. "Now leave us alone, you meddling Mudblood."

She ignored him completely as she hurried up the stairs, realising her hunch had been right. This wasn't good. No one had seen him since he went out for a flight hours ago, and she knew she had to see if he was alright. The cold October air hit her mercilessly as she opened the large oak doors onto the grounds, but she just tightened the cloak around her and wished she had brought her scarf.

Soon, she could see the Quidditch pitch further down the path, but there didn't seem to be anyone flying about. Her eyes desperately tried to seek out a figure in the now looming dark, but she couldn't see anyone — her steps quickened, terrified of what she would find.

"Lumos," she muttered quickly as she reached the pitch, pacing the large area looking for some clue of where he could have gone. Her frustration grew larger with every moment as she found nothing but grass on the pitch, and she began turning around, searching the stands and the area around for anything at all. Her heart beat heavier as the search continued to be fruitless. If he was lying in his bed sleeping right now, she would be so incredibly mad.

Just as she was about to give up and head back to the castle, the light from her wand caught something a few feet behind one of the goal hoops. She sprinted forwards, and fell to the ground beside what she knew had to be Malfoy's broom. Fear spread through every fibre of her being when she realised she was sitting only a few feet from the Forbidden Forest.

She knew she shouldn't be doing this, and that she should more than likely run back to the castle for help, but years with Harry had most definitely influenced her. Gathering every feeling of courage she had, she enchanted the broom to fly back to the entrance to the castle before walking slowly towards the forest.

The light from her wand was helping, but not immensely so. She wished she knew a spell for a brighter light as she put one foot carefully before the other, looking around in worry. It was hard looking out for everything at once. Creatures, enemies… Malfoy. She just hoped she wasn't too late. Sure, he was an insufferable git, but that didn't mean she wanted him to be seriously hurt or worse yet, dead.

It felt like she had been walking around for hours, and at one point she even wondered if she'd find the way back. She turned around and looked back in discomfort, hoping she had walked more or less in a straight line. Hopelessness was tearing at her now. The Forest was huge, and the hope of finding anything was incredibly small, she realised that. He could be anywhere. For all she knew, he might not even be in here at all. He could have been taken away with a Portkey, or brought somewhere else other than the Forest.

All the walking was tearing at her feet, and gave her all too much time to think. Thoughts she would rather not dwell on refused to leave her mind, and gave her no peace. Why was she doing this? She was walking around completely alone in the Forbidden Forest, only protected by her own wand and wit… and for what? Malfoy? It was beyond insane, yet she couldn't get herself to turn back. She wanted desperately to find him, but why was a completely different question she didn't want to think about.

After several hours of walking straight forward, she turned to the right on a sudden whim, and the light of her wand caught something that didn't belong in the grass. Something reflected the small beam of light, and she felt herself almost freeze in panic. What if it was someone she would rather not meet?

But she realised quickly that whatever it was, it did not move. She crept closer, making sure to hold her wand out, and be aware of her surroundings. Pale with horror, she saw Malfoy's Head Boy Badge glitter in the light from her _Lumos_, and soon realised he was lying lifeless on the ground. Stricken with horror at the sight, her instincts took over and everything went on autopilot. She checked that he was alive, and sighed in relief when she found pulse. Unfortunately, what she found besides the pulse was not as uplifting. He had several deep cuts that were bleeding badly, and she wondered how long he had been left here. The face she had grown used to seeing around the common room was pale and drawn, nothing like the arrogant smirk he usually wore.

She had read about wounds in one of the Healer books she had borrowed from the library, and even if the thought scared her, she knew she had to stop the bleeding before she tried getting him out of here. The walk back was long, and she was exhausted only from the walk to find him. The fact that she had found him was on its own a small miracle, she realised, looking around the large forest.

She tore off a part of the top she wore underneath her robes, and used it to clean the wounds. He didn't stir, and it worried her greatly. His condition was not at all well, and she didn't know if she could get him to the hospital wing in time. Using the spell she had read about, she managed to close them up, even if it was done in an amateur way. They were by no means good, and she knew that, but she hoped it was sufficient enough to get him back to the castle.

Looking down on his limp figure, she felt a sudden sadness for him and an anger at whoever it was who had done this. Who would leave him to die out in the forest like this? Of course, he had a lot of enemies, but she liked to believe not even Harry and Ron would want to leave him out here bleeding to death. She shuddered at the thought of her friends doing such a horrible thing to a fellow student, and chastised herself for even thinking it.

Ignoring the chilly air, she took her cloak off and spread it over him. The robe she wore underneath it would keep her sufficiently warm, and she had a feeling the trip back would wear her out too much to notice the cold either way. Swinging her wand carefully, she levitated him off the ground and began walking back towards the Castle.

If the walk into the forest had been long, this felt like days. She had to stop regularly to check that his wounds were still sealed shut, and even if one of them looked like it was about to spring open, it was doing okay so far. The important thing was that he didn't bleed any more.

Her feet throbbed in pain as she walked in determination towards the grounds, wondering if they'd ever come out of the dark forest. She began getting worried that she hadn't run into any creatures, but she figured the presence of unwelcome enemies had sent them into hiding. She could hear some of them far away, but she knew they were no immediate danger.

When the trees started getting further apart and the lights from the castle came into view, she nearly toppled over in relief. She straightened up, not letting herself fall now that they were so close to making it. He was still alive, even if his pulse was slow and he was abnormally pale. When she came out of the forest she grabbed every last strength in her body and ran over the pitch, up the road and up to the entrance. She grabbed his broom, standing neatly by the door, and managed to levitate him inside without hitting him into the door.

She realised quickly it was way past hours, but she didn't care. The hallways were empty, and she got to the Hospital Wing without difficulty. Once inside, she breathed heavily at the exhaustion of the evening, and lowered him gently onto the nearest bed. He fell a bit too roughly onto it, and she had to check that none of his wounds had opened. When she realised all looked okay, everything came tumbling down on her. Her knees buckled and she had to grab onto the bed he rested in, just as Madam Pomfrey came rushing into the room.

She looked flustered and tired, making Hermione realised she had woken her up.

"Ms. Granger, what on earth are you doing here way past midnight?" she asked in a shocked voice, rounding on the bed Hermione was leaning against.

"He's seriously injured, Madam Pomfrey," she explained quickly. "I went to look for him when he never came back to the common room, and I found him pale and bleeding."

Madam Pomfrey suddenly started when she realised someone was occupying the bed. Once she realised the gravity of the situation, she slipped straight into her usual fussing role. She pushed Hermione out of the way to get to Malfoy's lifeless body on the bed. Hermione let herself fall onto the bed next to his, and exhaustion rippled through every bone in her body. She ached all over, but didn't say a word about it. It would just be selfish to do so. She wasn't bleeding to death, and she was conscious. Swinging her feet up on the bed, she took her shoes off and felt her feet throb uncomfortably.

"I tried closing the wounds so I could get him back," Hermione said as she closed her eyes, and heard the desperation in her own voice. "I know they're not good, but they were all I could manage."

Madam Pomfrey suddenly stopped her fussing, and looked closely at the wounds. She had more than likely not realised the wounds had been closed up, and she turned to Hermione with a softer expression than she usually wore.

"You did well, Miss. Granger," she said quietly, before turning back again. "How long did he bleed?"

"I don't know," Hermione answered. "He had been gone all afternoon when I went looking for him, and it took me hours to find him, so it could have been for a long time."

She let herself fall back towards the pillow, but didn't fall asleep. Instead she watched Madam Pomfrey give him potion after potion, and examine every part of his body. She even watched her remove his clothing and slip him into one of the hospital robes, making it easier for Pomfrey to access the wounds. When she saw his bare chest, she even felt herself flush, which was entirely stupid, obviously. The boy wasn't even conscious.

Pomfrey reopened the wounds, and cleaned them thoroughly before closing them up again. They definitely looked way better than anything she could have done, and she felt bad for only doing a mediocre job. She wasn't entirely used to be mediocre at anything.

"Ms. Granger, I have to say that I am surprised," Pomfrey suddenly said, turning to her. "You may very well have saved his life by managing to close the wounds. They were deep, and I predict he would have bled too much."

Hermione let those words sink in, and felt a bit overwhelmed by it. She had saved Malfoy's life? That thought hadn't even struck her once.

"I read about the spells in a book, and I knew I had to try." She shrugged her shoulders, feeling uncomfortable at the disguised compliment Pomfrey was paying her.

"Let me have a look at you, Ms. Granger," the Mediwitch said in reply, and Hermione reluctantly let her examine her.

"I'm not injured," she said defiantly, feeling like Pomfrey should concentrate on Malfoy.

To her surprise, Pomfrey seemed to read her mind.

"I have done everything I can for Mr. Malfoy at this moment. If he regains consciousness he will be out of the worst."

"If?" Hermione asked in concern, throwing a quick glance at the figure in her neighbour bed.

"I cannot guarantee anything," Madam Pomfrey said in a hushed voice, and Hermione closed her eyes as the dreadful thought of death ran through her. She didn't really understand what was wrong with her, but she really didn't want him to die; Even if he had been an ass to her and probably would continue to be.

She suddenly heard her own voice echo in her head._There are no guarantees in life_. The thought of how right she had been made her shudder.

"You're not injured, but you are severely exhausted, Ms. Granger," Madam Pomfrey proclaimed. "I have some potions that will help you."

"Thank you," Hermione replied, genuinely grateful.

"But first… I will have to notify the Headmistress, and she will definitely want to talk to you about this right now."

Hermione nodded at that, knowing she would have to tell sooner or later.

"I would rather have you rest, but it is perhaps better to get it out of the way," Pomfrey commented, waiting for Hermione to reply.

"Yes, you're right," she said with a heavy sigh. "I'll answer her questions."

"Good girl," Madam Pomfrey smiled, before leaving her alone in the Hospital Wing with the unconscious Head Boy.

Hermione turned around in her bed and watched his chest rise and fall. The movement calmed her, and made her want to climb into bed with him just to make sure his heart was beating. Yet again she had to shake her head in disbelief at her own thoughts. Several minutes later, Pomfrey returned with McGonagall.

"Ms. Granger!" McGonagall exclaimed, looking between the both of them. "Kindly enlighten me as to how this happened to our Head Boy."

"Professor, I don't know. He didn't come back to the Head Tower, so I went to look for him," she explained hurriedly. The last thing she wanted was for McGonagall to think she had done this.

"And you found him like this?"

"Yes. I asked Zabini if he knew where he was. He told me Malfoy had gone down to the pitch for a flight hours earlier. I went down to the pitch, and found his broom lying between the pitch and the Forbidden Forest."

"Miss. Granger, please tell me you did not wander alone into the Forbidden Forest," McGonagall exclaimed in a scandalised voice.

Hermione looked down, but didn't feel too guilty about doing it. "I found him deep into the woods. It's a miracle I even found him. I walked for hours before I saw him laying there, and he was bleeding badly. And he was unconscious. I closed up the wounds as best I could with a Healing Spell, and I walked the same way back to the castle"

"Minerva, the girl has more than likely saved his life," Pomfrey piped in, and Hermione gave her a grateful, but pale smile.

"So he will recover?" McGonagall inquired, but didn't take her eyes off Hermione.

"Most likely, but there are no guarantees just yet."

"Very well. I cannot say this doesn't unnerve me, but I won't take any disciplinary actions," McGonagall said, making Hermione breathe in relief. "But for the future, Miss. Granger… do not enter the Forbidden Forest alone. It is called 'forbidden' for a reason."

Hermione didn't think it was the right time to tell her how many times she had already been in there, practically on her own. She almost chuckled at the thought of their many escapades.

"Get some rest now, Miss. Granger," Pomfrey urged, and Hermione knew she was right. Exhaustion was still lingering in her limbs. She rested her head on the pillow, but kept her eyes locked on the bed next to her until she fell fast asleep.

* * *

**A/N:** Drama drama. Thanks for all reviews, and I hope people will follow me with this story (which is rather long, actually). :D 


	4. III : Circles

**Disclaimer:**I'm just an innocent Harry Potter fanatic with a heart for writing :( Don't hurt me!

* * *

She woke with a start early next morning when she heard an incoherent muttering fill the room. Her head turned immediately to the next bed where Malfoy was throwing his head back and forth, muttering under his breath. She looked around in panic for Madam Pomfrey, but she seemed to be nowhere around. 

Without giving it more thought, she got off of the bed and moved over to his. He was sweating badly and his hair was sticking to his forehead, showing an unhealthy glow she had never seen in it before. She found a cloth soaking in water on the nightstand, and squeezed the excess water from it. Carefully stroking his hair back from his forehead and ignoring the strange feeling it evoked in her, she put the cloth soothingly onto his forehead.

She continued to clean his face, which felt warm and moist. At least he was no longer pale, rather, quite the contrary. Again, she stroked the hair away from his forehead, talking soothingly to him. Without warning, his eyes shot up and she found herself looking straight into a the depths of his steel grey oceans. She let her hands fall quickly, and felt her face heat in embarrassment. When he kept looking at her with those eyes, she turned away, wishing she hadn't left her bed.

She turned her head back with a snap when she felt his fingers against the palm of her hand. Their eyes met again just as he enclosed his hand around hers, gripping it desperately. Her heart nearly broke at the frightened look on his face.

"Draco, it's alright," she assured him, not letting go of his hand. Perhaps just as much for her own sake. She didn't want to let go. "I found you in the Forest, you're in the hospital wing."

He looked around at her words, taking in his surroundings while breathing heavily. His face was still glistening with sweat, and his hand felt incredibly warm. She grew concerned at the haunted look on his face, and without really thinking, she put her free hand on his forehead, shocked by how hot it felt. Worryingly, she glanced around for Pomfrey, afraid to leave his side in case something happened.

A surge of relief shot through her when the Mediwitch came through the door and headed for her little office by the entrance.

"Madam Pomfrey!" she called desperately, her eyes darting back and forth between the boy clutching her hand and the witch. "He's burning up."

Pomfrey sprinted up to her, and bent over the bed. She eyed Hermione quickly, and she knew she wanted her to leave, but Pomfrey's eyes fell on their entwined hands. He was holding her so fiercely his knuckles were whitening. It hurt, but at the same time she didn't mind. It felt oddly comforting.

"He has a bad fever," Pomfrey said, surprising Hermione. She was sure she was about to ask her to move away from the bed. "It's most likely an infection in one of the wounds."

Hermione swallowed heavily, giving the sweaty figure a worried glance.

"I have a potion that will help immensely. I need you to keep him calm for me, Miss. Granger, while I get the potion. Also, when he needs to take it."

Hermione didn't really think that would be a problem. She couldn't move out of his grip if she wanted to. Nodding absently, she turned towards Draco and talked soothingly to him; she stroked his hair back from his forehead every time it fell down again.

Madam Pomfrey returned with a potions vial, and smiled reassuringly at her before trying to get Draco to swallow the contents. However, he refused to take it, moving his head back and forth whenever Pomfrey tried to reach his lips.

"Draco," Hermione said in a hushed whisper. "The potion will help you. You're sick."

He merely looked at her, but still kept his lips pursed closely together to a thin line.

"Draco, please…" she begged, tears welling up in her eyes, and she dried them quickly with her free hand, feeling completely embarrassed with her behaviour. She just felt so entirely overwhelmed.

She sighed in relief when Draco gave her a long look and parted his lips. Pomfrey poured the contents of the potion quickly into his mouth and pushed his head back so he had no other option but to swallow. She felt the hand she was holding grow limp, and she realised he had fallen into sleep.

"He'll be alright when he wakes up," Pomfrey reassured her. Even though she knew he was asleep, Hermione didn't feel like leaving the bedside. Quickly after Pomfrey had disappeared form her sight, she returned with a chair that she placed next to Hermione. Hermione gave her a puzzled look, but the Mediwitch just smiled in return.

She sat down, never letting go of his hand as she did so. Only moments later she felt herself fall into blissful sleep.

* * *

"Let go of my hand, dirty Mudblood!" he shouted, making her jump a mile in her chair. Such an abrupt awakening startled her, and she felt her heart race in shock. Then the words hit her with full force, and anger filled every vein in her body. She let go of his hand as if it had burnt her.

She looked at him in shock, feeling utterly betrayed by his angry eyes and hurtful remark.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" he muttered, crossing his hands over his chest.

"No, who do you think you are?" she cried back, swallowing to make the lump in her chest disappear. "You were the one who grabbed my hand and held it so tightly it nearly fell off!"

"I was drowning in sweat from a fever, not even knowing where I was," he said defensively. "You've been sitting here all night holding my bloody hand. Now _that's_ disturbing."

She felt the tears choke her up, tears of anger and hurt spilling out from her eyes. She ignored them as they ran down her cheeks.

"You ungrateful bastard," she bellowed, and ran out of the room as quickly as her throbbing feet could handle.

Malfoy looked after her as she slammed the door closed, wondering why she had taken it so harshly. It wasn't exactly common for them to hold hands, of course he was going to yell at her. He had woken up feeling strange and vulnerable, remembering how he had been attacked last night, and then remembered the world going completely dark around him. And then he had realised Granger was holding his hand. Sure, he remembered holding onto it for his life earlier when fever had haunted him badly, but he had an excuse. He had hardly known what he was doing.

"Did Miss. Granger leave?" Pomfrey asked as she came up to him with her hands full of appliances, including bandages for what felt like large gaping wounds.

"Yes," he replied darkly, keeping his hands firmly crossed over his chest.

"I had an ointment for her feet," Pomfrey said worriedly, glancing over her shoulders.

Malfoy raised his eyebrows, feeling thoroughly puzzled. "Why would she need ointment?"

It was Pomfrey's turn to raise her eyebrows at that.

"The poor girl walked for hours into the Forbidden Forest to find you — she closed your wounds so you wouldn't bleed to death, and walked for several hours to get you back here."

He groaned in exasperation, sinking lower into his pillows. Bloody hell. He really was an ungrateful bastard.

* * *

Hermione walked around the common room, fuming with anger. How could he be such a git after everything? After he had clung onto her for his life while she stroked his hair off of his forehead. How could she have let herself be so worried about him, so afraid he would wither away and die before her eyes? He treated her like complete dirt, and it shouldn't be surprising her. But somehow it made her hurt so much worse than she ever had from any insult.

She threw a quick glance at her watch, and realised she could still get to afternoon classes if she hurried. It was better to have something to keep her mind on, than to drive herself insane with thoughts that merged together into a huge ball of confusion.

In the middle of their Defence class, where she had been bombarded with questions from her friends, Professor Lewthorn knocked on the door. He was the new Head of Slytherin, and she got a bad feeling the moment he stepped inside.

"May I borrow Miss. Granger?" he asked, and their professor waved her off.

She left her stuff with Harry, determined not to leave the class, no matter what he said.

"Ms. Granger," he began, just as they reached the hallway outside. "Mr. Malfoy wishes to see you in the hospital wing."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "You can tell Malfoy I certainly won't come see him in the hospital wing."

"Miss. Granger. I'm not intending to give you any choice," he said threateningly. "You will come with me right this instant."

"You can't force me to see anyone in any damn wing!" she cried, but he grabbed her fiercely, and she whimpered under his firm grip.

He dragged her along the corridors, and she begged him to let go since it hurt beyond words, but he refused. She began to yell, and he took an even harder hold and she felt his fingers slice into her skin. Her eyes grew wide as she watched the professor she had never yet disliked at all.

Once inside the hospital wing, he almost threw her in front of Malfoy's bed, but didn't release his hold on her arm. Tears of pain stung in her eyes, and she flushed furiously in anger and embarrassment.

"What the hell are you doing?" Malfoy cried to her immense surprise. "I asked you to tell her I wished to see her, not to haul her along like some kind of criminal!"

"She didn't want to come along, Mr. Malfoy. I merely made sure you got your way," the Professor answered.

"Are you fucking mental?" he bellowed, not intending to keep his voice down. "She's bleeding. Can't you see you're hurting her?"

"She's here," Lewthorn stated dully.

"Let her go!"

Lewthorn finally released the grip on her arm, and she instantly threw her other hand over the throbbing wound. Blood trickled over her fingers, and she gave her Professor a horrified look.

"Leave," Malfoy said in a voice so angry it sent chills down her spine.

The man left without a word, giving her a displeased glance. She stood rooted to the floor, scared of the behaviour he had just shown. What Potions would be like after this, she couldn't even imagine.

"Bloody hell. I only asked him to tell you so I could apologise for this morning, and I just made thing worse," he replied, sounding more remorseful than she had ever heard before.

She didn't reply, only held her fingers on the wound that hurt more than she could imagine. He had just scratched her, why on earth did it throb in pain?

"Come here," he said softly, and she reluctantly moved towards his bed. He took out his wand, and she stopped abruptly, eyeing him suspiciously. "I'm not going to make it worse."

She looked into his eyes, and she knew somehow that he was telling the truth. As he grabbed her arm, she suppressed a shiver and removed her fingers from the wound.

"It hurts so much because he used magic. A lot of wizards familiar with the dark arts can inflict magical pain without using their wands," he explained calmly, as she watched him run his wand over the wound. He muttered a rather long incantation and the pain reduced severely.

"You seem to know what you're doing," she finally spoke, looking at his blond head bowed over her arm. He looked much healthier than this morning.

"I am a bit too familiar with this kind of discipline," he replied in a neutral voice, and she felt a sudden anger towards Lucius. How much of this had he had to endure over the years of his childhood?

"This is the best I can do," he said apologetically. "Does it feel any better?"

She nodded, even if it still ached uncomfortably. It had been a lot worse before he worked on it.

"Look, I know what you did yesterday," he said, forcing her to look at him.

Hermione didn't reply, she only returned his gaze.

"I know you were silly enough to march into the Forbidden Forest for hours to find me. Merlin knows why." He sighed. "But I know I would still be laying there if it weren't for you."

"Well, you didn't come back to the common room." She shrugged, feeling somewhat uncomfortable under his gaze.

"I acted like a git this morning, and you risked your life for me yesterday." He sighed again, turning his head away now.

"I can't help it. I'm a Gryffindor," she said, almost apologising for being so reckless.

He gave her a wry smile. "I suppose you are."

"I'm just trying to say that… I—I'm sorry," he said quickly without meeting her eyes.

"It's okay," she said genuinely, knowing she couldn't hold a grudge while he was still lying in the hospital bed looking vulnerable.

She said her goodbyes and went to leave for class. Just before she was about to open the door, he stopped her with a single sentence.

"Will you come visit me?"

She turned in surprise, finding him with his head bowed slightly, not looking straight at her.

"I will," she promised, and left him sitting on the hospital bed.

The following days she visited him at least once a day. She brought him homework, which made him laugh loudly saying it was so like her, and she spent time talking to him, watching him grow stronger by the day. What she wasn't prepared for was how much it pleased her to see him get better. The day Madam Pomfrey told her he could come up to the Head Tower again she smiled from ear to ear, making Madam Pomfrey send her a knowing look. Hermione stared back at her in shock, but quickly shook it off.

"Hey, sunshine," she said brightly as she sat down beside him. He rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless.

"Guess what. You can go home today!" She grinned, watching him light up, and then he raised his eyebrows.

"Home?"

"Well, you know what I mean," she said, waving her hand dismissively.

He gave her a lopsided grin, taking the homework assignments she held out to him.

"I don't think you've understood that the only good thing about staying in the hospital wing is that you don't need to do your homework."

"I don't want you to fall behind," she said sweetly. "So, here's a copy of all the notes I've taken during classes."

His face changed from amused to completely puzzled. "I… err…"

"Stop being so stupid," she said, laughing, punching him playfully on the arm. "It's just my notes."

"Well, Mr. Malfoy, you're ready to leave," Madam Pomfrey announced, putting some bandages on the nightstand beside him. "You will need to change your bandages once a day, but you should be able to manage that on your own. If not, just tell me and I will come help you."

He smiled widely and swung his feet over the edge of the bed.

"I'm so glad to be out of this bed. It's so boring," he moaned, taking the robe off the chair standing right before him and draped it around himself.

"I'll take your things," Hermione volunteered as he got up. She noticed he had a hard time even straightening up, so she took his stuff without even waiting for a reply. She couldn't care less if she hurt his masculine pride.

He didn't say anything as they walked slowly up the stairs. They only met a couple of Ravenclaws on their way up, and Hermione found she was relieved none of their friends came around. She really did not want to keep defending helping him out. They were Heads together, they weren't insulting each other all the time anymore… things were different.

After the long walk up the stairs that they had to ascend slowly because of his condition, they finally reached their common room. Hermione held the portrait open for him, but he didn't look at her as he stepped inside. She didn't say anything either, just followed him inside clutching his things in her hands. The broomstick got placed against the wall, while she placed his books, homework assignments and the copy of her notes on the table.

"You should go rest," she announced, looking at him as he stood leaning heavily on the couch. "I can help you upst—"

"Granger, stop babying me!" he exclaimed in an angry voice, and she snapped her mouth shut.

She watched him with large eyes and could actually see his anger grow.

"I've been coped up in that horrible place for a week, and I didn't come back up here to have you act like my mother," he snapped, not meeting her eyes.

"I don't need you to feel sorry for me or help me with anything or even be here at all," he continued, banging his fist on the back of the couch.

She knew he was frustrated and angry for having to rely on others, but she couldn't help but feel indignant and hurt by him lashing out at her. Shakily, she drew her breath slowly a couple of times.

"If that's how you feel, I won't get in your way," she said quietly, walked past him and ascended the stairs step by step. She closed her bedroom door behind her, letting out a heavy sigh.

She knew things had changed between them, and he was probably even more freaked out than she was, but the fact that it was different now just made his mood swings harder to handle. And his hurtful remarks hurt worse than they used to. Quite frankly cause she never used to care what he thought, and now she found herself caring all too much.

The curtains hid the window neatly, and she drew them quickly aside, longing for the sun. The pale beams of October hit her face and she closed her eyes against them. This was getting all too complicated, but what was she to do? They shared these dormitories whether she liked it or not, and they had no choice but to interact. She looked out over the grounds wondering if whatever they had would ever become simpler.

She was jerked out of her thoughts by a knock on the door. Instead of answering she remained by the window, embracing herself as she looked out over the silent grounds.

"Granger," he called softly.

Closing her eyes, she ignored him, not knowing if she could take another mood swing.

"Granger, come on," he begged from outside the door. His voice made her heart skip, and it almost made her more determined to keep ignoring him.

"Hermione."

She sighed heavily, and gave in as he heard her name being called. He had never used her name, and it affected her more than she cared to admit that he had just done it. Just as he was about to turn away from her door she opened it reluctantly and came face to face with the wizard she tried so desperately to figure out.

"Don't look at me like that," he said, looking remorseful. "You look like your cat just died."

"I do not," she replied, but she actually sort of felt just like her cat had died.

She gave him a long look and started going back downstairs. As she sat down on the couch, she looked back to find him still walking slowly down the stairs. She wanted to run up and help, but that's what they had ended up arguing about in the first place. Well, he argued and she ran.

He eventually sat down on the opposite side of the couch from her and she felt him watching her intently. The lingering gaze made her feel rather uncomfortable and her cheeks flushed against her will.

"I didn't mean to offend you," he suddenly said. Hermione sighed, drawing her hand through her hair.

"I'm trying to apologise," he said, frowning, taking in her exasperated appearance.

"I know you are. And I appreciate that, but tomorrow you'll have another mood swing and treat me like shit again. You're jerking me back and forth and it's making me nuts."

She felt short of breath, and didn't want to look at him at all. In a weird way she felt like she had just admitted something more than just her annoyance at his behaviour.

"I don't know what to say," he replied after several moments of silence. "I didn't know I made you feel that way."

"How can you not make me feel like that, though? At one point you're decent and even friendly, and the next you're hurting me with all sorts of horrible remarks."

"I didn't know you cared so much."

"Well, neither did I!" she yelled, before realising what she had said. Her face fell into a horrified expression, and she hid it in her hands, cursing herself for saying such a thing. Oh why had she come down here in the first place. This was a complete disaster.

"I guess things have changed," he said, not sounding angry like she would have expected.

"Let's just forget this," she said quickly, forcing a smile when she caught his eyes.

He didn't reply, he just gave her an odd look, and she felt her insides squirm. She had really done it now.

"Wow, I made Draco Malfoy speechless. That's got to be a first."

"You wish," he replied with a smirk, reaching for her notes. "Will you help me catch up on classes?"

"Sure," she replied, happy to get their thoughts off her horrible mistake. "We'll start with Defence."

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry it took so long! I totally forgot I was adding this here. I feel so bad :( 

Thanks to all reviewers!

From the last chapter I'd like to thank these awesome reviewers:

IndulgentWriter, wasu, dracoshott28, nic smiles and sarahyyy.

Thank you!


	5. IV : Different Worlds

**Disclaimer:**I'm a good girl. I really am. I just borrowed the characters. Really!

* * *

**IV ; Different Worlds**

The following morning was a Saturday, and she woke up around ten AM feeling incredibly well rested and content. She swung her feet over the edge of the bed and found her slippers on the floor. Stretching her hands above her head she yawned slightly, and thought about how their conversation last night hadn't even made things unbelievably awkward. It puzzled her a bit that he hadn't hid inside himself, shutting her out like he usually did.

Wrapped up in her own thoughts she walked straight into the bathroom, turning towards the sink. She looked at herself in the mirror and gave a displeased grimace at the sight of what looked back at her. Sighing, she tried putting her hair up, but it looked too large and made her face look weird. She let it fall down again, and she bent forwards and looked her own self straight in the eyes.

She had always hated how bland she looked. There was no way she would ever be a Fleur or a Cho or a Ginny. She didn't have any radiant glow about her, she didn't look unbelievably stunning and she didn't have that enthusiastic charm Ginny dazzled everyone with. She was just Hermione Granger, the bookworm with the bushy hair. Depressed by her own thoughts, she grimaced again and bowed her head to brush her teeth.

"You look great," a voice said from behind her and she yelped in surprise.

Hermione wheeled around with her toothbrush still in her hand, staring at Malfoy with her mouth open. He was standing right behind her only wearing his boxers with his hair ruffled from sleep. His stomach was covered in white bandages, but his chest was exposed, and the sharp intake of breath made her lungs sting uncomfortably.

"Why didn't you knock?" she asked in confusion.

"To be honest, Hermione, I was already standing here when you came walking in," he said chuckling, looking at her with amusement in his grey eyes.

"You've been standing here the whole time?" she yelped, and grew suddenly aware that she was standing there in her baggy pyjamas, and that she had just had a pity session in front of her mirror while he was watching.

"I was waiting it out to see how long it'd take you to notice," he admitted.

Her face burned with embarrassment and she turned away from him. It wasn't like she wanted anyone to know how she felt when she looked at herself in the mirror, and it was inevitable that he had. No one grimaced at themselves in the mirror for the fun of it. Wait, had he said she looked great? The words he had said hit her just then, and she found herself blushing even more, confused by the whole situation. Of course, it was just out of pity, but still…

"I was just about to change my bandages. Do you think you could help?" he asked, meeting her eyes in the mirror. She swallowed her insecurities, and turned around again.

"Sure, what do you need me to do?"

"I'll remove the one I have on, and you'll be ready with a new one. Hurts less that way," he said, giving her a brand new bandage.

He began unwrapping the old one, and the moment he removed all of it, she placed the new one on, and tightened it around him as best she could. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't ignore the fact that her fingers continuously touched his abs and his back as she wrapped it carefully around his wounds.

"Too tight?" she asked, clearing her throat when she heard how croaked it came out.

"No, I think that's just about right," he replied, looking down at her with his head inclined. "Thank you."

"No problem," she squeaked, and knew she had to get out of there before the sight of him in just his boxer turned her completely insane. She practically ran out of there, and realised too late that she had managed to dart into his room. Flushing angrily at her own stupidity she went back into the bathroom, meeting a chuckling Malfoy. She couldn't believe how incredibly girlish she was acting.

She sent him a small smirk as she walked past him again into her own room, and got herself dressed. Since it was Saturday, she didn't bother putting her robe on. She felt better walking around in her usual clothes on her days off.

The common room was empty when she made herself breakfast before sitting down on the couch with a book in her lap. She flipped through it, trying to keep her thoughts off the guy upstairs. Soon, she heard him come down the stairs and she looked up to smile at him. But he looked closed up and annoyed, and didn't return her look or her smile. She felt her good mood falter, wondering why he always had to do that.

"You took the last piece of roast beef?" he growled angrily, throwing the fridge shut.

"I'm sorry, but the fridge will fill itself in an hour. I didn't think it was that big of a deal," she shrugged and kept her eyes locked on the book.

"Of course you didn't," he said in a sarcastic tone. "You're so selfish it sickens me."

Her head snapped up and she eyed him in disbelief. "_I'm_ selfish?"

"Yes, you're selfish. What if I wanted a piece of that roast beef?"

"Oh, well that's rich!" she retorted, and darted up from the couch in anger. "Oh, boohoo, poor Malfoy, Granger took the last roast beef. Not like you could have had it anyway if you were dead!"

"So that's how it's going to be, huh? Every time I complain about you, you're going to bring up how you got me out of the Forest?" he asked coldly, coming towards her.

She started backing up, swallowing to keep the lump in her throat from growing.

"Why do you keep doing this?" she asked in a pained voice. Why did he always go from being so charming and oddly nice, to being closed up and angry in just seconds?

He stopped right in front of her, peering down at her with a look she couldn't interpret. She stared defiantly back, but when he began moving again, she backed up and felt terrified as her back hit the wall.

She started breathing heavily as he moved so close she could feel the heat from his body. For a second she wondered if he would hurt her. He had certainly been angry about something, though she supposed the roast beef wasn't the actual problem.

Without warning, he leaned in, putting a hand up against the wall beside her face. Her heart began racing as his face was so close she could feel his breath against her cheek, and she found herself longing to have him even closer. The thought scared her, but every rational thought seemed to escape her mind at that point. She wasn't aware of how her lips parted slightly as her breath grew heavier, but she saw his eyes fix on her mouth. With her heart almost beating out of her chest, she closed her eyes the moment his lips found hers.

A small explosion erupted inside her and she answered the kiss hungrily. She let herself drown in the feeling of him against her, moaning quietly in pleasure when she felt his tongue against her lower lip. Letting him deepen the kiss as their tongues entwined, she ran her hand roughly through his hair. The feel of him left her breathless, longing for more and more, but he suddenly broke away, heaving for breath as he watched her with hungry eyes.

When he suddenly turned around and left her standing against the wall, her knees nearly buckled and she didn't know if she could keep herself standing.

"I shouldn't have done that," he said desperately, running his hands through his hair, just where hers had been moments before.

She didn't reply. For the simple reason that she couldn't speak. She was short of breath, completely overwhelmed and struggling to keep herself from falling over.

"I should not have done that," he repeated, suddenly remembering she was there.

She couldn't quite hide the fact that her words hurt her, and she knew very well that it was written all over her face. His expression softened as he caught her eyes, and he began pacing in front of her.

"Draco, stop," she said, hearing how shaky her voice came out. When he kept pacing, she pushed herself out from the wall and walked straight up to him. "Stop being silly."

"I'm not being silly. By doing this, I'm dragging you into things you don't even understand… I—"

He didn't get any further. She had placed her hands on his cheeks and silenced him by closing her lips over his. He stood frozen for a few seconds, but suddenly moaned and wrapped his hands around her. She gasped against his lips from feeling his body so close, but didn't break the kiss. Instead she deepened it, grabbing for the passionate feeling from before. She let herself fall into him again, not caring one bit about blood, enemies or wars. All she knew was that she wanted to stay close to him.

* * *

Hermione Granger was hiding in a storage cupboard. She had never in her life felt the need to hide at all, and all of a sudden she was trying to get away from the world by hiding. A true Gryffindor, she was. The sorting hat should just have put her in Ravenclaw where she could hide behind her own brains. She huffed at her own stupidity, but still didn't move from the cold stone floor.

Truth be told, she was angry. Ever since that Saturday morning he had avoided her, quite effectively, and it made her feel stupid, embarrassed and frustrated. There was something between them, and she could feel it, but she didn't know exactly what it was. The question was why he was ignoring it, making her feel rather unwanted and frustrated. No matter what it was, they should try to figure it out.

Of course, she knew things were complicated. They were from different worlds, and it would make it hard for them in the long run. She could understand why that kept him back. With a sigh, she banged her fist against the dark stones, leaning her head back towards the shelves. She sat curled up in the dark of the cupboard, in the far corner, knowing how futile it was to analyse someone whose thoughts she could never channel or ever truly know.

Hermione suddenly jerked as the door to the storage cupboard opened, and a shimmer of light shone on the floor just beside her. She was still enclosed in the dark, and she didn't dare move until she knew who it was. Two figures tumbled inside, moving towards the other corner talking in hushed voices. Hermione decided it was time to get out of there somehow. She had no intention to eavesdrop on someone else's private conversation. As silently as she could, she stumbled to her feet, suddenly catching a glimpse of the people standing in front of her.

A sick feeling in her stomach evolved as she recognised his blond hair. She would recognise it anywhere. Feeling revolted, she forced herself to calm down, reminding herself that she couldn't possibly know what he was doing there. Her chest heaving slightly, she felt herself standing rooted to the floor as she recognised Pansy Parkinson. She was laughing silently, throwing her hair back from her face with a seductive movement. Hermione felt her face burn, realising she could never be like that. She simply didn't have it in her.

Jealousy erupted in her chest, making her throat clog up and tears sting in her eyes. She couldn't believe she had fallen for his cheap tricks just days ago. Remembering the feeling of him close, she felt a jolt of horror as he bent down and kissed Pansy. Her cheeks burned in embarrassment, anger and hurt, and when he deepened the kiss, she didn't care that they saw her. She had to get out of there that instant, not knowing what she would do if she had to watch anymore. Running as quickly as she could, she pushed the door open and sprinted down the hallway, not caring if they had seen who she was.

She cursed herself for being so stupid. How she could have ever believed it had meant anything to him, was beyond her at that moment. It had been nothing but a game, a moronic play of emotions. He had wondered what it would be like to kiss the enemy. Or maybe he had wanted her to give into him, enjoying the power. '_I want my own Mudblood who can grovel at my feet.'_ His words rang in her ears as tears formed neatly on her eyelids.

As she curled up in a cubicle in Moaning Myrtle's always empty bathroom, she realised she had to be in class not too long from now. Thankfully, it was Ancient Runes, meaning none of her friends would be there, and Malfoy definitely wouldn't be. She hid her face in her hands and let herself cry out. Emotions of horrible embarrassment and anger shot through her, but they eventually drowned in the enormous wave of hurt that hit her with full force. The thought of him all over Pansy Parkinson made her retch. She heard a distant sound, and realised it was herself sobbing.

Knowing she had to get to Ancient Runes, she dried her eyes as best she could and went to the nearest mirror. Feeling more than anything that she wanted to hit the mirrored image of herself, she used magic to make the puffy eyes and the streams of tears go away. She straightened up, held her chin high and told herself firmly that she was too good for him. He was nothing to cry about.

Class followed in a long and horrible torment, and she wondered if she had ever felt that way about class previously. She had never been anything else than focused, not even when Harry and Ron had tried to throw her off balance. Cursing her own ridiculous behaviour, she felt stupid for letting him get to her so badly.

She walked out of the classroom in a haze, knowing she wasn't the least bit hungry. As she watched her fellow students walk towards the Great Hall for lunch, she knew all she wanted to do was be alone. Not speaking to anyone, she climbed the stairs one by one, feeling empty and lost. A few Hufflepuffs nodded at her, and she knew they were in the DA. She nodded back and forced a smile, but walked determinately upwards until she reached the portrait hole.

Not even feeling like opening a book, she dropped her bag by the couch and stomped up the stairs. Giving his bedroom door a quick glance, she opened her own and stepped inside. Entirely relieved at being away from everyone she fell on top of the bed and sealed her door shut with a spell. She sighed and drew the covers over her head and stared into the patterned wall. Fighting the thoughts out she followed the swirling pattern with her eyes, focusing on every turn and swirl in the lines.

Before she knew it she was jerked awake by a loud knock on her door. She sat up in alarm realising she had slept. She groaned silently when the clock showed that afternoon classes had already passed. The infinite knocking didn't stop, but she just drew her cover over her head not wanting to meet anyone.

"Hermione," Harry's voice called from the outside. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Harry," she called, her voice muffled by the blanket.

"You didn't turn up for class. That's not like you," he said in concern, and she felt bad for keeping him outside, but she couldn't face anyone right now.

"I'm just not feeling good," she replied, acknowledging that it wasn't a complete lie. "I just need some sleep and I'll be as good as new."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. But thanks for checking on me."

"Just get us if you need anything," he said warmly, making her smile despite her foul mood.

"Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow."

She heard him leave again, and drowned herself further down in her covers. Even with her clothes, her robe and the covers covering her body, she felt cold and weird. What was wrong with her? He had kissed her once, and now she was acting as if he had promised to marry her and then dumped her on the wedding day. She couldn't help how hurt she felt, even if it had been just a kiss. She felt used. The fact that he hadn't cared at all left her feeling sick to her stomach.

It felt like hours had passed, and snow had began falling gently outside her window. She looked at it, feeling calmed by the serenity of it. To be honest she knew it was far from serene. Soon enough, every student in school would be outside drowning each other in the snow, enchanting snowballs to fly everywhere.

"I know you're not sick."

Her stomach tightened in a knot, and she ignored his call. Continuing to watch the snow she focused on her breathing.

"I saw you when you ran out."

Her eyes closed in pain for a second, but started counting to seven on every intake of breath, counting backwards again as she let it out.

"Come on…"

She couldn't believe he was standing there acting like he had done nothing but eating her sandwich or borrowing her shampoo.

"Hermione, let me in."

When she ignored him yet again, the silence fell again outside her door, and she let out her breath comfortably again. Fighting the tears, she lay curled up on her side watching the snow cover every part of grass on the cold earth outside.

As the door from the bathroom slid open, she drew her covers closer to herself and cursed fiercely under her breath. She hadn't locked the damn bathroom door. Right then and there she could have hit herself repeatedly in frustration as he stood tall in the door. Her room was only lit up by the white of the snow from the window, and the light of the bathroom made him look almost out of this earth.

"Go away."

Her pained voice cut through the cold air around her, making her shiver just from the thought of getting out from underneath the covers.

"I'm not going."

"It's my room. Leave."

"I won't."

She groaned frustratingly, wishing he would leave her alone with her own thoughts. Even through her overwhelming pain she knew she didn't want him to see her like this. And definitely not when he knew the reason. She was acting like a melodramatic idiot over the whole thing, and what it made him think, she didn't even want to begin to think about.

When he came towards her, and she realised he was about to sit down on her bed, she panicked, wanting to fling herself off before he reached it, but before she could even move he had sat down on the edge of it. She felt the urge to kick him off, but she knew it wouldn't be wise.

"Hermione…"

"Stop."

"Why?"

"I don't want to hear it."

She didn't look at him at all.

"Alright. Then I'll just sit here with you."

That got her to eye him in shock, but he only watched her intently, refusing to budge. And with that he sat with her all afternoon and all evening until she fell asleep.

* * *

**A/N:** Since you had to wait so long for the previous chapter I decided to throw this one up right away. Let's call it a small apology ;)

And don't worry about how quickly the first kiss came. Still much drama to come :P

Wasu: Thank you, thank you! So glad to hear people are enjoying it :D

Vickey or Ella: Sorry you find it boring. Unfortunately, I can't do much about it cause the fic was finished in early March, and this is the way it turned out. The story about what happened at Hogwarts was one of the main parts of this fic, so that's how it turned out :)

Dynonugget: Thanks! Not throwing Draco right into the 'niceguy extraordinaire!" role is always one of my biggest concerns, cause I always end up disliking fics where he's either overdone on the asshole side or overdone on the nice side. So I tried my best at getting a gradual evolvement.

Sarahyyy: Thank you, thank you. There are many complications to come, though ;)

Reader101: Thank you. :D

Dracoshott28: hehehe they're indeed getting very friendly! ;) But life isn't always that easy. Which means loads of chapters to come yet. Hehehe.

Umbridgeskitty: hehe hope the fast submission of this chapter pleased you! I'll do anything to distract myself from studying for my last exam. :P sheesh. I'll try to keep up the speed on updating this thing :)


	6. V : Making It Friendly

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter isn't mine. But that doesn't bother me – cause all I need is Draco.

* * *

**V ; Making It Friendly**

When she had woken up the next morning he had been gone, but somehow it felt like he had still been there. Last night had calmed her down, and she managed to get through her classes without raising Harry's suspicion.

As the classes finished, and she knew it was time to go back upstairs, she braced herself for the coming strain. Seeing him was difficult, but in a twisted way it was what she wanted. Swinging the portrait open without a sound, she slipped inside just as he came down the stairs. He no longer limped, and he could get around without too much difficulty.

His recovery warmed her, but the conflicting emotions concerning him made everything so much harder to make sense of. As she looked up his eyes met hers, and she quickly broke the contact, sitting down by the table with her books already up. She felt him sit down on the other side of the couch, but she ignored it determinately, writing the title of her essay neatly on the parchment. For a long while she merely wrote in silence, only disturbed by needing to check the book.

"Are you going to ignore me forever?" he asked suddenly, making her quill stop in mid-word.

"It seems to be the best option," she said quickly without looking up.

Her reaction was too slow. He had reached out and pulled her close, making her traitorous body react at once. His hands moved soothingly against her shoulders and her back, and he kissed her temple gently. She let herself drown in the intoxicating feeling that was him, but then her sense surfaced just slightly. Angry at herself for being so weak, she pushed herself away from him and jumped up in anger.

"How dare you!" she shrieked, letting all her pent up frustration surface. She was too angry to keep it locked down.

He only looked at her, his face drawn and exasperated.

"How can you keep playing with me like this? Just leave me alone. I can't deal with this crap," she cried, grabbing her parchment and threw it violently into the fire.

His eyes grew wide as he darted up to save her essay from the flames, but it was too far in for him to reach. He turned to her with a shocked expression on his face, but she just stood there, panting at the sight of him.

"Hermione, I really am sorry."

"You didn't seem too sorry," she snapped, forcing herself to stay cold and not let the tears spill out again. She had endured more than enough embarrassment.

Hermione suddenly felt taken aback as he fell back onto the couch and put his head in his hands with a rattling breath. She crossed her hands protectively over her chest as she watched him with softening eyes. _Ugh_, she was all too weak for her own good.

"I don't know why I did it."

"That's a bad excuse," she informed him, but then kicked herself mentally. "I'm sorry, you don't have to excuse yourself. We're not even toghe... - I'm just being dumb."

He straightened up and looked at her, but only shook his head.

"I kissed Pansy for some reason I can't explain, and I didn't even like it."

"Of course you liked it," she said darkly, sitting reluctantly down on the other end of the couch again.

"Well, I guess a kiss is rarely downright bad," he admitted. "But it wasn't the same."

"The same?" she asked in a sudden fit of denseness.

"The same as with you, silly," he said in exasperation.

"You must be insane," she said, shaking her head. "I don't have her silky, black hair that I can flip over my shoulder. I'm not pureblood. I'm boring and bland looking and a bookworm. I –"

"Hermione, stop," he said, giving a half chuckle. "She's nothing to you."

Hermione snapped her mouth shut, eyeing him in complete disbelief.

"She caught me at a bad moment." He sighed, running his hand through his hair making it ruffled up again. "I've been scared out of my mind about what I would be dragging you into. Things you haven't had to experience, because you've never had to deal with the quirks of the pureblood mania."

She just watched him, feeling overwhelmed by everything he told her. Her mind worked on overdrive.

"I don't want to drive you into the cold world that my father runs. I was frightened out of my mind of what he would do if he found out. Pansy was there at that moment, looking completely like the easy way out. It was easy and predictable. But it didn't feel like I thought it would. I realised it almost at once. And then I felt someone rush forward and I saw you disappear just as the door fell shut.

"I can't even explain how bad I felt just then, knowing how it must have made you feel. Like you were just some other girl in the queue, when the truth is so far from it. And I was so disappointed in myself, for being so incredibly weak"

Hermione sat limply on the couch, her hands resting awkwardly in her lap. She had no idea what to say. What the right thing to say was. She didn't know if she could express how hurt she felt, but maybe he didn't need her to tell. Maybe he already knew. She sent him a quick glance and found his eyes resting on her hunching figure. Instead of everything she wanted to tell him, she sighed.

"I threw my essay in the fire," she exclaimed in horror and fell back towards the pillows on the couch.

He roared with laughter, lightening the mood drastically.

"You need to control that little temper of yours," he teased, making her give him a dark look.

She ended up chuckling at her own stupidity, and took out another parchment.

"Oh well." She sighed, and started all over again.

* * *

The following morning was yet another Saturday and she walked absently into the bathroom without looking yet again. But this time it only took her a few seconds to notice his presence. He was standing bent over the sink, looking at himself in the mirror. Just like last time he was covered in nothing but boxers and his bandages.

"Oh, my God, I have to stop doing that," she exclaimed, turning away in embarrassment.

"No, I kind of like it." He grinned, and turned towards her when he heard her speak. "It's a nice start to my day."

She smiled hastily, and looked down at the floor.

"Do you need me to leave?" he asked, running his hand through his hair while studying it in the mirror.

"I was thinking about taking a shower, but I don't need to until you've finished," she said quickly, and walked around him to the other sink. She leaned over to find her toothbrush, and she smiled apologetically as he looked down at her.

"Are you doing this on purpose?" he asked in his deep voice, raising his eyebrows.

"Doing what?" she asked innocently, but smiled mischievously at herself in the mirror. She finished brushing her teeth and pulled her hair out of the way, hoping that by some miracle it would go straight.

She watched him closely as he washed his face and brushed his teeth. It made her realise how silly she had been acting the past two days. He wasn't hers. And he probably never would be, so why did she react as if he had cheated on her? It had been a kiss, and nothing more and nothing less. Sure she was aware that he made her react oddly, but things were complicated.

"I need that shower now," she said, hinting for him to leave.

"Are you inviting me to join you?" he asked with his eyebrow raised suggestively.

"Oh yes, I'm dying to share my shower with Draco Malfoy," she said, rolling her eyes. He gave a small pout, and she pushed him out of the bathroom with a loud laugh.

She smiled as she slipped out her pyjamas and let the hot water massage her tense shoulders. Life with him really was a rollercoaster ride, and she was still wondering if the good times were worth the bad. But something in her began to wonder if she actually had a choice. Could she turn down the good times to save herself from the bad even if she wanted to? She was really beginning to doubt she could stay away.

Cold air hit her as she stepped out of the shower, and she grabbed the towel before heading into her room to get dressed. She dried her hair quickly with her wand and applied an anti-frizz charm she had grown accustomed to using. Wondering what she was going to do with her Saturday, she headed downstairs to find him sitting in an armchair.

He looked perfect in a black t-shirt and denim coloured jeans, and she took it in with a weird feeling in her stomach. As he flipped a page in the book he was holding, her eyes suddenly fell on the Dark Mark etched into his arm, and she remembered all of the events from the end of the last school year. How he had joined the Death Eaters, how he had let them into the school, how he had even tried to kill Dumbledore, but Snape had done it instead. Perhaps because Draco hadn't managed to kill. The thought that he might not manage to kill lightened the heavy feeling in her chest, but she still felt weighed down by reality.

He wasn't just some handsome guy. He had a past, and a dark one at that. And was she really sure it was his past? Voldemort would still count on his loyalty, but she caught herself wondering if she could count on his loyalty.

He suddenly looked up and found her standing by the stairs observing him, and he smiled warmly.

"Are you going to stand over there until I come to carry you away?" he teased, and she stuck her tongue out.

Hermione went into the kitchens and got herself some food before she sat down on the couch. She curled up on it with her food resting in her lap. She watched him flip the pages of the book, and couldn't help but being drawn towards the mark on his left arm.

"You look worried," he said and her eyes snapped away from it as if he had burnt her. "Want to talk about it?"

"I… don't think that's a good idea," she admitted, knowing it would make him feel uneasy.

"Just tell me," he urged. "I don't want to have a lot of bad things hanging over our heads."

She sighed, and she shot a quick glance against his arm, before opening her mouth, but he beat her to it.

"Ah," he said in a defeated voice. "Of course."

"I'm sorry… I—"

"Don't apologise. I keep forgetting not everyone knows everything I do," he explained, closing the book before putting it on the table. "Look, I got the mark last year, as you can see."

She nodded quietly, a bit embarrassed to be bringing it up.

"And my task was to kill Dumbledore," he continued. "But I couldn't. When it came down to it I couldn't kill. I think I knew it all along. I nearly lost it as I planned the whole thing, but I kept telling myself I was just nervous. I couldn't kill. And I realised at that point that I don't want the life my father leads, even if it's what I've been brought up to want."

She inclined her head, feeling slightly worried on his behalf. "But if you got the mark, doesn't he still count on you to be loyal? Once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater… that's the impression I have anyway."

The pain in his eyes didn't escape her. He looked away at that point, clearly bothered by the thoughts her statement evoked.

"Yes, he does expect me to be loyal. I have no intention to be, but I'm going to have to fake it for a long time," he said through gritted teeth. "And let me tell you one thing… I really don't want to."

She watched the despair on his face and thought her heart was going to break in pieces. He wasn't a bad kid. Sure, he had always been arrogant and mean, but he wasn't evil. She realised he didn't deserve it. He had made a mistake, and it was one that would be etched into his arm for life.

"Did it hurt?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah."

They sat in silence, contemplating the nature of their conversation. She felt the need to comfort him, to point out that it was alright, but she didn't know how to. If she just blurted it out it would definitely sound all wrong.

"I wish I could just slice it off," he growled, eyeing it in discomfort. "I can't ever wear a t-shirt in public anymore. Everyone will know what I am."

"That mark doesn't define who you are," she said softly. "You're just wearing your mistakes a bit more publicly than the rest of us."

"Are you honestly telling me you don't judge if you see the Dark Mark on someone?"

She felt herself squirm slightly, knowing she couldn't lie.

"I judge," she admitted. "Maybe unfairly, but you know that most Death Eaters have done horrible things. You haven't, and at least you know that."

"But others don't." he sighed, and drew his book up into his lap again. He began flipping restlessly through the pages, and she fell quiet.

She couldn't pretend that people wouldn't judge him based on the Mark. And when she saw him sitting there with a pained grimace on his face, she realised the unfairness of it. One wrong choice and people would look at you with distaste for the rest of your life.

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you to those who reviewed! Especially to dynonugget who found a way to review despite the technical difficulties ff . net obviously had a couple of days ago :D 


	7. VI : We Want More Than the Wars

**Disclaimer:** Despite the fact that I worked hard for this fic, I don't own and I don't get paid. Sigh.

**A/N:** Alright. I just want to get this off my chest before the chapter starts. This is one of the chapters I sort of regret when I look back. I personally don't like it much. And it's kinda lame. But please stay with me, cause it gets better :P. Actually, the second half of it is okey. :P

* * *

**Chapter VI ; We Want More Than the Wars of Our Fathers**

Later that evening he had taken the trip down to the Slytherin common room and she sat alone on the couch knitting on another elf hat by the fire. She had waited to do another batch until she was alone, not feeling the need to be ridiculed by her house mate for her S.P.E.W. enthusiasm.

She looked up as the portrait swung open, and grinned when Ginny, Ron and Harry came piling in, dressed in cloaks, scarves and gloves. Hermione put the unfinished hat aside, looking at her friends questioningly.

"You're coming out into the grounds with us," Harry proclaimed with a happy expression on his face.

"Seamus and Dean are already running down there, hell-bent on having the best snowball fight of their life!" Ginny grinned, and pulled Hermione off the couch.

"But I was knitting..."

"Hermione, listen to yourself." Ron laughed. "Your friends are asking you to come outside and have fun, and you turn us down because you're _knitting_."

"Don't worry, we'll throw you a surprise birthday party on your 90th birthday. It's not so far away is it?" Ginny teased, handing her the black cloak Hermione wore outdoors.

"Alright, alright!" Hermione laughed, realising she really did sound like an old woman. "I'll come."

"Fantastic. The Golden Trio, together again," Ron exclaimed, making Ginny throw him a dark look.

"The Golden Trio and the ugly duckling," he said quickly, making her hand dart out after him, but he dodged it with a manic laugh.

Harry and Hermione chuckled and shared a quick glance, before she wrapped herself in as many items of clothing as possible. Her scarf and her gloves matched nicely, but she could only find her white knitted hat. It wasn't a fashion show anyway, so she didn't bother looking for the other one any longer. She ushered her friends out the portrait hole, and ran after them down the hallways.

"You guys are going down!" she shrieked as she beat them all out the big oak doors.

When she reached the grounds she nearly stumbled in shock. The entire school seemed to be outside, the word of the "fantastic snowball fight" having obviously spread across the four houses. And even as she turned around to her friends, several more students were piling out behind them. She smirked at the three others, and ran closer to the huge pile of students, which was now starting to scream and yell with laughter as the snowballs started flying.

She bent down and scooped up a hand of snow and used her wand to directly aim it at Harry, hitting him straight in the shoulder.

"Hey!" he cried, and she ran chuckling in the opposite direction, hoping it would keep her from getting hit, but she was sorely mistaken.

When she turned around, all three of her friends were sprinting after her and she ducked as they all chucked a snowball at her. She manage to dodge one of them, but the other two hit her right in the back. Yelling that they would be sorry, she ran back after them, and soon enough they were caught up in the largest snowball fight any of them had ever been in. Snowballs flew around them in large quantities, from all directions, and screams of revenge filled the air.

Hermione laughed heartily as Ginny got snow down her cloak, and swore revenge on Harry. She ran him down and they both rolled around in the snow, trying to get the other one as drenched as possible. Hermione smiled, and used her wand to chuck three balls at once on Ron and Neville, who were dodging each other's attacks. She shrieked in glee as they hit, but the shriek turned into an indignant call as a ball hit her straight in the back. To find the culprit, she wheeled around quickly. Her eyes scanned the large crowd, realising with annoyance that it could have been anyone of them, even if they all seemed occupied with someone else.

Then her eyes suddenly fixed on a face that eyed her with a large smirk. She narrowed her eyes, and shook her head with a slight smile.

"You're going down," she mouthed to the figure several feet away. She ducked down and used her wand to quickly roll several snowballs, before she ran straight at him, chucking all of them towards him with a large grin on her face.

He ran in the opposite direction, making his cloak billow slightly behind him, and he dodged a few of her snowballs, but when several of them hit his back she laughed in glee. But she didn't have time to wallow in her own success. He caught up with her within seconds, smiling mischievously before pushing snow down her neck. She squealed as the soft, cold snow trickled down her back, and she wriggled out of his grip.

"Okay, Malfoy," she said, throwing her arms out. "Truce."

He eyed her with an amused look. "I knew I'd win."

"Yes, you won," she said, bowing her head.

Smiling crookedly, he turned around, just raising his hand in a wave to Zabini when she jumped him from behind and dropped a handful of snow down his neck. He growled in shock from the cold seeping down his back, and stumbled under the weight of her. She was still clutching to his back, chuckling, when he fell forwards into the snow. When he only moaned, she remembered his wounds, and gasped in horror.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry," she cried. "Are you alright?"

His reply came as a groan, and just as she was about to get off him, he wheeled around and pinned her to the ground, hovering a fistful of snow over her face with a smirk on his face. Her eyes widened before she laughed loudly at his game.

"That's so mean," she said, but still had a smile playing on her lips. "I thought you were in pain."

"Oh please, you're a feather," he replied. "Now prepare for cold."

"Oh Merlin," she gasped, growing aware of his hovering fist. She tried to avoid it, but he pushed the snow against her face, making her gasp in shock from the cold. Deciding to give back the same way he had played her, she held her breath and lolled her head to the side. His gloved hand was still pushing snow in her face, also over her mouth. He suddenly stopped when he noticed her chest wasn't rising and falling, and her eyes were closed.

"Shit," he exclaimed. "Granger!"

She could barely keep her laughter in check as he shook her violently, looking around with panic.

"Granger, come on," he begged. "Hermione!"

"Boo," she said, shooting her eyes up and he yelped in surprise. She chuckled, and clasped a fist of snow against his neck, causing him to wriggle away from her.

"I knew you were joking," he said, but didn't meet her eyes.

"Sure, that's why you were shaking me and yelling my name," she said, smirking. "Two can play your game, you know."

He frowned at her, and then laughed loudly, before pushing her around in the snow again. She caught a glimpse of Ginny and Pansy Parkinson attacking each other, while shrieking in glee. Even amidst all the snow he had shuffled over her face, she felt warmed by the fact that people were dropping the inter-house rivalry, even if it was just for one afternoon. She tumbled around in the snow, and finally found herself sitting on top of him.

"Ha!" she exclaimed happily as she drenched his face in snow. He laughed at her excitement, and she tried to smile back, but her face felt stiff with cold. She rolled off him and fell to the ground laughing. When she turned her head to the side, she noticed Ron and Harry standing with their backs turned to them.

"Let's get them," she whispered, and crawled up from the ground. He followed with a grin, and they both made three snowballs each. She counted to three in a whisper, and they both chucked them at Harry and Ron, who wheeled around in surprise.

"Oh, you two are so dead," Ron exclaimed, running towards them. Both of them fled in the opposite direction, but got hit anyway. Soon their fight involved both Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, Ginny and Neville. Hermione hadn't had this much fun in ages, and she felt grateful towards everyone who put their stupid prejudice at bay for once.

Several hours later, they were the last ones to leave the grounds. The other students had disappeared in groups throughout the hours when the nine of them were making their way towards the castle again. They weren't talking much, but Hermione supposed that was for the best. She hoped they could remain in this odd state at least until their ways parted as the Slytherins went down to the dungeons and they headed upwards. It was weird, walking side by side with Slytherins and not even bickering about anything.

"God, my face is so stiff I don't think I can move it at all," Hermione complained. "Look. This is happy. This is sad."

Her face remained unchanged, and the others chuckled.

"And it feels weird to talk," Zabini shot in. "I can't feel my lips, but they're still moving. It's like they're detached or something."

The others began moving their lips in weird grimaces, and everyone of them confirmed his musings with groans.

"You're right," Harry said moving his lips uncomfortably. "And look, Hermione's are blue."

"Are not," she said defensively, and Ginny pointed at her with glee.

"Looks like you painted them with ink," she cried as she pointed and laughed.

Hermione stuck her hands to her side and put up a stern look.

"Granger could be the scariest professor this school has ever seen," Pansy Parkinson said, but Hermione knew not to take it the wrong way. "You've got that McGonagall thing going on."

"Definitely," Malfoy chimed in. "She's scary as hell. You should see her when I don't clean up after myself around the common room."

"I'm not that bad," she said indignantly when everyone laughed, but both Malfoy and the other Gryffindors happened to disagree.

"Yes you are," they all said in unison, and laughed when they realised they had all said the same thing.

"Whatever." Hermione smiled, shaking her head. "Just you wait till your kids attend Hogwarts and I'm the mean professor. I'll remember you guys."

"My poor children," Malfoy cried and put his hand over his forehead in a dramatic gesture.

"Git." She smiled, and put her elbow to his side.

They reached the staircases, and the Slytherins waved goodbye in a hesitant fashion. The Gryffindors waved back and said their goodbyes, and then looked at each other in slight shock before walking up the stairs together.

"Who would've known," Ron said, shaking his head.

"Not me," Ginny and Hermione replied, and both Neville and Harry shook their heads as well.

"Too bad it'll be back to normal tomorrow," Hermione pondered as they reached the Gryffindor common room. She had decided to go hang with her friends for the rest of the evening instead of returning to an empty common room.

"Yeah, I guess it will," Ginny replied wearily, and they all piled in to warm up by the fire.

"How odd that we could put it on hold for an evening, but can't tolerate each other on a daily basis," Hermione said, as basked in the glow from the fire.

"I don't know. It's easier to suppress it for a while, during things like these, but on a daily basis it's different," Harry said. "Besides, it's kind of a chore, if you know what I mean?"

"We're supposed to hate each other." Ron nodded. "Our parents are on opposite sides of the war. Nothing can change that Lucius Malfoy is a murderous git, and Draco Malfoy is a bastard trained to follow in his footsteps."

"But are we supposed to pick our company by our parents?" Hermione asked, pulling her legs up underneath her, sitting in a meditating position.

"I wouldn't say so normally," Ginny replied. "But in this case I have to say I think we should. This war is messy. We've lost people we care about and we're probably going to lose more."

"But what if uniting could keep that from happening?" Hermione said fiercely, but knew very well it wasn't that easy.

"Do you really think the Slytherins would want that? They're loyal to their parents, just as we are," Ginny said shaking her head. "I think this is one of those things that just... are. You can't change them."

"But who knows... after the war is over, things might change," Harry said optimistically.

They all smiled.

"It's so surreal to think that this war might be over soon. That we'll have a normal life." Ginny smiled, falling back towards the pillows.

They all basked in the heat from the fire and the optimism of picturing Voldemort dead. Hermione stayed for a long while, before she knew it was time to head back. The laughter and upbeat conversations still rang in her ears as she found her way back to her own quarters. It was weird not living there with them anymore, but they were in a changing time in their life. This was just the first change of many, and she knew she couldn't crumble underneath them.

* * *

When Pansy Parkinson bumped into her on their way to Potions later that week, she knew everything was definitely back to normal.

"Watch where you're going, Mudblood!" she shrieked as her book fell on the floor. Hermione contemplated to pick it up for her, but she knew everything had to go as it usually went, and she walked right past, giving Harry an exasperated glance that he returned gladly.

"Slytherins," he said, rolling his eyes at her. "Complete morons as usual. I don't even understand how they can walk upright."

She smiled at his comment as they entered the dungeons, feeling that same uncomfortable churn in her stomach at the thought of seeing Professor Lewthorn. Nothing had happened in classes yet, but she felt like she could never be sure. Harry didn't know anything about the incident she had experienced with the Professor, neither did anyone else of her friends. She didn't feel it was necessary for them to know. It was more than enough that Malfoy knew.

Harry and Hermione sat down together at their usual seat at the front by the door, and the rest of the students piled in as well. Neville and Seamus took a seat behind them, and Hermione turned to join in on their conversation as the Slytherins took their seats in the first row, to the very left and on the middle row.

"Ginny cursed Zabini in the hallway," Seamus whispered, a foolish grin plastered across his face. "It was fantastic."

"Why on earth would she do that?" Hermione exclaimed, but couldn't quite suppress a grin. Ginny really did have a temper.

"Zabini was bothering Ron about something," Neville replied, looking a bit frightened. "Ginny sent him plummeting to the floor. She's kind of scary."

The other three laughed heartily at his confession.

"You know she'd never do anything to you, Neville." Hermione smiled, just as Professor Lewthorn entered the buzzing classroom. She turned around again to face the blackboard.

"Morning, class."

"Morning, Professor Lewthorn," they chanted dully, some of them trying to hide behind the cauldrons.

"Since Mr. Zabini is in the Hospital Wing," he said with a resentful look at the Gryffindors. "We have an issue with our pairings for this potion"

"It's no problem, Professor, I can work alone," Malfoy assured him, taking some utensils out of his cauldron, stacking them neatly on the table.

"That is out of the question," Professor Lewthorn said sharply.

"Then I'll just join Pansy and…"

"No," Professor Lewthorn said hastily. "Miss. Granger will join you. She desperately needs help to improve her grade."

Hermione's eyes shot up as the entire Slytherin section snickered. She had absolutely no idea what he was on about. Potions had always been a good subject for her, even with Snape teaching it. There was no way she could be in trouble with her grades, and she exchanged a confused glance with Harry.

"What are you waiting for, Miss. Granger?" he asked briskly, crossing his arms over his chest, and she quickly gathered her things from her desk.

"What about Harry, Professor?" she asked, as she sat down beside Malfoy. She didn't meet his eyes, just stared straight ahead, trying to suppress her annoyance at the Professor.

"Mr. Potter can join Mr. Longbottom and Mr. Finnigan," he said, waving his hand dismissively. "Get to work."

The instructions appeared on the blackboard, and Hermione began harbouring the ingredients they needed, putting them in neat stacks according to portions.

"I didn't know you were struggling in potions," Malfoy commented as he took one of the roots and started chopping fiercely.

"Neither did I," she replied, looking up as he gave her a confused glance. "I've never had issues in potions, not even with Snape as a teacher. And now he suddenly says I need help with my grades."

"Dare I say he has it in for you?"

"Seems so." She sighed but suddenly yelped in pain. She felt the knife cut into her finger with a sharp pain, and she enclosed her other hand over it.

"Shit," she cried, watching the blood trickle out underneath her fingers.

"Give me that," Malfoy said calmly, and took her finger into his hand. He swung his wand over it with the same incantation he had used back in the hospital wing, and the cut stopped bleeding. More words came out of his mouth, and he closed it, sending a small trail of bandage out of his wand. It wrapped neatly around her finger, swirling into a neat knot at the end. "Good as new."

"Thanks." She smiled genuinely, before turning back to their ingredients. She used her wand to clean the trickle of blood on her chopping block before continuing to prepare their ingredients.

"I can help you with the grades, you know," he said quickly, following the directions on the blackboards carefully.

She shot him a dirty look.

"I don't need help with the curriculum. I don't know why he says I need help," she snapped, sighing heavily, and sent her Professor's back a vile stare.

"Alright, Granger. No need to get snappy," he said, sounding almost indignant.

They worked in silence from then on, working well on the potion together. She was surprised of how synchronized they were. In the end their potion came out just perfect, and she gave him a small smile.

"Very well done, Mr. Malfoy," Professor Lewthorn called as he peered into their cauldron. "Very well indeed."

Hermione and Malfoy both eyed him in shock, throwing each other an uneasy glance as well.

"We both worked on it, Professor," Malfoy said, his voice sounding oddly strained.

"How very noble and humble of you, my boy," Lewthorn said in a patronising voice. "But there's no need. I know."

To Hermione's horror, Malfoy started rising in his chair. She gave him an alarmed look, before putting her hand on his shoulder and pulled him down forcefully.

"It's alright," she muttered intensely, not looking at her Professor.

"No, it's not," he hissed back, giving her a penetrating glance with his steel grey eyes.

"Top marks for you, Mr. Malfoy."

Hermione gave him a look full of warning, and he stayed in his seat reluctantly. He crossed his hands over his chest, and looked at her sourly.

"Class dismissed."

Everyone began putting their stuff together, cleaning out their cauldrons after they dropped off their vials, but Hermione couldn't get the questions out of her head.

"Hermione, come on, let's go have lunch," Harry called from the door.

"I'll be right up. I need to fix something."

Malfoy looked at her questioningly, but she turned to the teacher's desk.

"Professor, may I speak with you?" she asked, making sure to be overly polite.

"If you make it quick, Ms. Granger," he replied without looking up, and she felt her temper rise.

"I'll see you upstairs," Harry said, leaving with the rest of the class. Hermione nodded, but turned to find Malfoy standing right next to her.

"Erm..." she said uncertainly, and nudged towards the door.

"Oh, I'm staying," he said calmly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Malfoy, this is a private conversation," she said, but to no avail. He stood rooted to the floor, refusing to budge. "Oh, alright."

She sighed in frustration, before turning to her potions Professor.

"Sir, about what you said about my grades…"

"What about it?"

"Well," she began uncertainly. "It's just that I've always been good at Potions, and I've never received bad grades on the subject. I always got good grades from Professor Snape, and I received an Oustanding on my O.W.L. And I don't understand why you think I need help, Sir."

"Ah, Professor Snape. He always did go too easy on you people," Lewthorn said with distaste, screwing up his large nose in a disgusted grimace.

"I'm sorry," Hermione said on confusion. "Us people?"

"Look, Miss. Granger. I'm sure you're a nice and talented girl, but I simply don't see how you can do well in potions. Not like Mr. Malfoy here," he said, waving absently towards the boy behind her.

"Sir, I don't understand," she said, now feeling increasingly frustrated as she watched the rather podgy man in front of her, who didn't even bother to look her in the eyes as he spoke.

"There are certain born qualities a master of potions should uphold, in my views," he said, finally looking up at her as comprehension dawned on her face. "You don't even have a smidge of those qualities."

"You are a professor, Sir," she said in the calmest tone she could muster. "And even if you don't approve of my heritage, I have been enrolled in this school because I can perform magic, and I can perform it rather well."

"As I said before, I am sure your talents are endless," he said in a slightly sarcastic tone. "But in my view as Potions Professor, the skill of Potions inquires at least a bit of magical blood."

"Wait just a minute here," Malfoy called from behind her, and she sighed heavily, rolling her eyes.

"Malfoy, please, this is my problem, not yours," she begged, seeing the annoyance in her Professor's eyes. To her despair Malfoy didn't even look at her as he stepped up to the desk as well.

"Are you refusing to grade her because she's Muggle-born?" Malfoy inquired, his hands still crossed over his chest.

"Muggle-born? Good grief, Mr. Malfoy, since when did you resort to such politically correct speech?" Lewthorn said with an unnerving laugh. "But you are indeed right. I am not grading her, and it is based on the fact that she's a Mudblood."

Malfoy slammed the palm of his hands onto the teacher's desk, making the Professor look at him questioningly.

"You can't do that," he hissed, making Hermione cough in alarm.

"I believe I am the Professor here, Mr. Malfoy. And my assessment is that without magical blood you cannot perform adequately in potions."

"That is not a fact, it's your point of view. The fact that she has made potions since the day she came here, and well enough to get an Outstanding on her owl outweighs your personal ideas," Malfoy said slowly with force on ever word.

"Need I remind you that our own Salazar Slytherin wished to remove everyone who is not pureblood from this school? It is what we believe in," Lewthorn said dully, continuing to write across his parchment.

"Whether or not that is what we believe in doesn't change the fact that there are Muggle-borns in this school, and you knew that when you took the job. To grade every student is your job, Professor. I feel very confident in saying that the contract you signed did not say that you could pick and choose based on your own personal feelings."

Hermione watched Malfoy speak with her mouth open. He was standing straight, with a professional, emotionless mask on his face, acting like an eloquent, intelligent man. She realised quickly that her case was stronger with him on her side. But why on earth was he on her side? Didn't his own ideas match Professor Lewthorns?

"Luckily, Mr. Malfoy, how I choose to teach is none of your business. Now, if you and the Head Girl would kindly leave my classroom."

Malfoy gave him a menacing stare, but turned around to get his stuff anyway. Hermione watched him with large eyes, before taking her own things off the face of the desk, and turned around feeling like she had lost the match. She didn't look back when she exited the classroom, feeling the unfairness of it all wash over her.

Malfoy caught up with her right outside the classroom as she fought back the tears of anger threatening to break through. She swallowed back the lump forming in her throat, determined not to let it break her. So what if he didn't want to grade her? He wasn't worse than any other Slytherin, so why would she let him control her.

"He's an arse," Malfoy said from beside her, watching her intently. She walked straight ahead up the stairs, before looking at the blonde boy next to her.

"I thought you felt the same thing. About Muggle-borns," she said, showing no emotion, clutching her books to her chest.

"Would I have talked to him like that if I did?" he asked with his eyebrows disappearing under his fringe.

She stopped at the top of the staircase, sighing greatly.

"I appreciate your efforts, but please don't tell anyone."

"You can't let him do this."

"Please."

He moaned, and pushed his eyebrows into a frown.

"You can't deal with everything on your own, Granger."

She watched his blond head as he walked confidently through the doors of the Great Hall, his robe hiding the regular outfit he wore underneath. He never stopped surprising her, and she found herself puzzled by who he really was. But as he walked away, she saw his broad shoulders and tall figure carried in a confident manner. He looked like he owned the place, and in some ways she supposed he did. There was hardly anyone there who came from a family as powerful as his.

Hermione followed behind him into the Great Hall, not even close to his body language. Her feet shuffled across the floor, and for one of the first times since she actually came here she felt like she was beneath the rest of them. Like she didn't belong. She cursed herself for letting Lewthorn get to her with his silly ideas, but for the first time in her life she wished she was a pureblood witch. At least that way no one could accuse her of not being a witch at all.

* * *

**A/N II:** Thanks for all the reviews, I really really appreciate it. You guys are the best! 


	8. VII : What Friends Are For

**Disclaimer:** Guess what I own? No, no. Just guess. No, I don't even own the roof over my head: I just rent. I rent everything. Sssh.

* * *

**VII ; What Friends Are For**

For the next few days, Hermione felt more alone than she ever had. She knew there were other Muggle-borns in the school, but somehow she had gotten this notion in her head that she didn't belong, which was entirely silly. She had been there for six years, and excelled in almost everything she tried. Numerous of times, she had stood by Harry and Ron's side fighting for the safety of their school and their world, yet she let a prejudice Potion's Professor get to her.

As she sat between Ron and Harry in Charms, having just been the first one to accomplish the intricate spell, she smiled to herself, feeling as if she was pulling herself slowly out of the dump.

"Ten points for Gryffindor," Professor Flitwick beamed, and she exchanged a satisfied look with Harry as he too began understanding the spell. She gave him a few hints, and watched him improve, as she played around with it herself.

To be honest, she was ashamed of herself. She was supposed to be a powerful and strong witch, both mentally and physically, yet she had let the prejudice of an old bat with a large, podgy nose make her doubt her own abilities. It was sickening, in fact. She couldn't do anything about his feelings towards her as a witch, but she could do something about her own.

She packed up with her friends as class ended, and lifted her chin a bit higher than she had the past few days.

"Let's go for lunch." She smiled in satisfaction and didn't even feel put down by the amount of homework they had been assigned this day alone.

"Actually, we have Quidditch practice," Harry said apologetically.

"During lunch?" she asked in confusion, looking at her watch to make sure she hadn't been mistaken about the time.

"Yep, it was the only time the pitch was available." Harry sighed.

"The Slytherins have been hogging it all the time lately," Ron shot in, throwing his bag over his shoulders. "Sorry, 'Mione."

"Don't worry." She laughed, waving her hand dismissively. "I can actually function without the two of you around, you know."

They both gave her a sarcastic grimace as they departed off to their practice. Hermione realised this meant Ginny would be occupied too, and she began wondering if she should just head up to her own common room for a snack. She didn't at all feel like having lunch with the Gryffindor Gossip Queens.

As she walked along the hallway — which was now deserted due to everyone's migration to the Great Hall for food — she was certain she had seen something unmistakeably blond dart around the corner. She raised her eyebrow in puzzlement and she peeked around it, but saw no one. Shaking her head, she walked hastily down the hall, glancing at her watch, just as something strong pulled her against the wall.

She yelped in surprise as she found herself in a very small storage cupboard, and the door fell shut.

"Hey, Granger," he greeted, throwing his arm out. "Welcome to my humble abode."

"This is a storage cupboard," she said blankly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Don't be such a killjoy," he chastised, winking at her.

She shook her head in exasperation, but couldn't quite disguise the smile playing on her lips.

"Why did you even drag me in here, the hall was completely empty," she said, peering around at the useless junk filling the shelves.

"One can never be too careful I suppose." He shrugged. "But since the coast is clear, let's go."

"Where exactly are we going?" she asked, as he grabbed her around the wrist and lead her out into the hall.

"For lunch."

"I was thinking I'd just grab a bite up in the common room. All my friends are at Quidditch Practice."

"I kind of have something else planned," he said, turning to her with a slight smile. He let go of her wrist, and held out her cloak. She took it with a quizzical expression, finding her scarf, knitted hat and gloves neatly folded inside.

"Put it on," he urged. "You'll need it."

"Malfoy, I don't know if this is such a –"

"Oh, will you stop," he groaned and rolled his eyes before walking up the staircase. "I've seen your fun side, remember. I know it's in there. Come on."

She watched him hesitantly for a moment, but when he stopped on the stairs with an expectant expression, she gave in and followed him. They walked up several floors, making her wonder where on earth they were going. Soon, he lead her down a hallway she wasn't all too familiar with. She couldn't really say if she had been there much before, and was so occupied with gazing around that she nearly bumped into him when he stopped.

"Here it is," he said, sounding pleased, and she peered over his shoulder, not completely sure what to expect.

She didn't see anything at all. Except a few portraits, a window and the hallway continuing down to the left.

"Malfoy, what are you on about?" she asked exasperatedly, but he just grabbed her by the wrist and started climbing out the window.

"Are you mad?" she exclaimed, watching him with a terrified expression as he stood on the outside beckoning her to follow.

"Don't worry, Granger. This roof is completely flat. Like a platform." He grinned, jumping up and down to demonstrate.

She sighed, looking hesitantly outside, not knowing what on earth he was doing. But something in her told her to stop over thinking everything. So what if she went out on the roof with Malfoy? It wasn't the end of the world, and she could see no harm coming from it.

Leaving the fear behind, she swung her feet over the window sill and jumped down on the roof below. The snow crunched underneath her feet, but a few inches away Malfoy had pulled out a thick blanket, obviously charmed to stay warm. She turned her eyes towards the view and smiled widely. They could see the entire grounds, out towards the lake and to the Quidditch pitch where her team were already out flying. She could see their silhouettes darting around, crossing each other in intricate moves. Lower down she could see figures walking the grounds together, some even sitting by the large trees over by the lake.

"Do you like it?"

"It's brilliant." She smiled, and noticed he was sitting down on the blanket, just as wrapped up in clothes as she was. She sat down beside him, and he brought out an entire basket of food that he had more than likely hid up here. He also took another blanket out of the basket, before putting all the food in the gap between them.

"In case we get cold," he explained quickly. "Dig in."

She grinned widely at him, and picked out a piece of pie from the small selection of goods. Her eyes roamed the view in front of them and she let out a heavy breath, feeling cleansed by the crisp winter air.

"Why did you do this?" she questioned, stroking a piece of her hair back under her hat as she turned towards him.

"You've been kind of tense lately," he commented with a quick glance at her. He took out a little bottle of pumpkin juice and took a small sip. "You seemed like you needed something to make you relax."

She had been kind of tense. To be honest, she was surprised he had noticed that she was. She hadn't even thought of it herself. Looking around, she realised she was relaxed, perhaps for the first time since that large snowball fight out in the grounds.

"I suppose I did need it," she admitted, bending her knees up to her chest. She coiled her hands around them and looked out across the large lake.

"Want to talk about it?"

She knew it was Malfoy sitting beside her. The guy she wasn't supposed to trust all that badly, but something about him made her want to open up. She had shared a dormitory with him for over two months now, and he had shown to be more perceptive to her feelings than anyone else.

"I have been a bit worked up about the whole thing with Lewthorn, I suppose," she confessed, pressing her knees even harder against her chest, almost as a comfort. "Not really because of him in particular, but because of my own reactions to it."

"You could have talked to me about that," he accused, sounding almost hurt. "Or let me tell someone so they could fix that mess."

"I don't know if it's something that can be fixed. It's his personal opinion, and it won't change," she said hurriedly. "But that wasn't even the problem. The problem was I let it get to me too badly. I started doubting myself, wondering if I really belonged here."

His lips parted in shock, as he watched her embracing her own knees tightly.

"Yes I know, it's ridiculous," she said, laughing bitterly. "I've always known I've done well. But once people start saying so often that you're not a real witch, that you can't be because of who your parents are… I don't know why Lewthorn hit me so hard with that, but somehow it cracked through my shell, and I began to wonder…"

"Do you still feel this way?" he asked softly, packing away the rubbish and the uneaten food into the basket.

"I try not to."

He slipped closer to her, and turned to get the other blanket. She accepted the end he held out to her, and together they draped it over their cold bodies.

"But you still do?"

"To some extent. I realise how dumb it is. I know I've done better than the very most of people in my classes. I know I've been in more difficult situations than several adult wizards have in their lives," she said, and turned towards him with a disheartened expression. "But sometimes I catch myself wondering what it would be like to be a pureblood witch. So that people would respect me, and not question my abilities because of where I come from."

"Don't ever compromise who you are, Granger," he said. "Respect should be earned."

"But sometimes it isn't."

"No, it isn't. But it tastes better when it is," he said truthfully, looking out on the view before them. "Even if you were pureblood, Granger, would that change anything? Would you feel different?"

"I suppose not," she pondered, snuggling her gloved hands under the blanket to warm them.

"Would you work any harder? Be braver?"

"No, I wouldn't," she admitted, feeling somewhat unnerved that this came from him.

"Then how would it make a difference?" he asked, watching her with his head inclined.

"I suppose it's in how other people perceive me."

"How other people perceive you isn't important, at least not to that extent. How you feel about yourself is what makes a difference."

"I can't believe you're the one telling me it doesn't matter if I'm Muggle-born." She chuckled, making him laugh slightly as well.

"People aren't always as they seem," he replied, meeting her curious gaze.

"I guess not." She smiled, enjoying the feeling of just sitting there, just being. She closed her eyes, breathing slowly in and out, realising she really did need to relax.

They sat next to each other in silence for a while, until Malfoy reminded her they had to get back to class. Scrambling to their feet, Malfoy put the blanket back in the basket and climbed through the window. He turned to help her up again, and she came inside to the blissful heat with a smile on her lips.

"Let me take your coat. I have to run back to the common room with all this," he volunteered, and their paths parted as she headed towards her classroom with a huge grin on her face.

Just after Malfoy had left, she ran into Harry who looked newly showered and clean as a button.

"Hey, up for Defence?" she smiled, looping her arm through his.

"Always!" he replied. "Have you seen Ron?"

"No, I'm afraid not. He'll find us, though, let's just go."

They walked towards the second floor, Hermione still with her arm coiled around his. She laughed happily at his stupid comments, feeling better than she had in ages. He eyed her carefully and ruffled up her hair lovingly as she laughed heartily at his behaviour. He suddenly yelped in surprise, though, and she turned around to see Malfoy giving him a look of disdain… and was that jealousy? She suppressed an amused smile, and raised her eyebrow at the Head Boy. He narrowed his eyes back and walked ahead of them without a word.

"The bastard just bumped into me!" Harry cried, throwing his free arm out in an exasperated movement.

"Maybe you did something to make him mad," she suggested, still a bit amused at the obvious jealousy in Malfoy's steel grey eyes.

"I was just walking around with you," he said in confusion.

"Right," she said quickly, and to her immense relief she turned around to find Ron at the end of the hallway. "Oi, Ron!"

Ron caught up with them in a few long steps and threw his arm over Hermione's shoulders.

"Hey, what's with your beaming nature?" Ron asked, looking at her closely.

"Nothing," she replied, but smiled widely. "I'm just in a good mood."

"I can't believe having lunch without us makes her that happy, Harry." He mock-sniffed. "Maybe we should just leave her alone all together."

She nudged her elbow into his ribs and he laughed at her.

"Don't you dare, Ronald Weasley," she teased as they entered the classroom, all three of them with their arms around each other. The Slytherins huffed as they caught a glimpse of the three of them mocking each other good-naturedly. She glanced up at the both of them, and felt extremely lucky to have them as her friends.

Before they sat down, she threw a quick glance at Malfoy who was giving them vile looks. She smiled quickly in his direction, making his sour face fall into sudden confusion. Shaking her head slightly at his stupidity, she sat down between her two best friends and enjoyed the feeling of happiness that filled her at that moment.

* * *

She sunk her teeth into a deliciously juicy, green apple as she bent over her thick roll of parchment. Her mood had been almost over the top lately, and she knew this was a good time to start Lewthorn's latest essay. She was slowly getting over the feeling of dread she always got around him, and knew he was the one in the wrong, not her. She was a part of this school just like everyone else was. Not only was she part of it, she was Head Girl, for Christ's sake.

"Are you working on Lewthorn's latest essay from hell too?" Malfoy suddenly said from behind her, his hands clutching several large books and a piece of parchment balanced on top.

She sighed and nodded absently; swallowing the piece of apple she had been chewing on.

"I've been in the library for some extra material," he said, and put it down on the table. "You can use it too if you want to. There are some nice things in the first one, at least."

"Thanks." She smiled, shooting him a grateful look, before she returned to her essay in silence. For several moments, the only thing heard was the scratching of quills against parchment in unison with the creaking fire they sat close to. They worked in comfortable silence, only interrupted once by shaky laughing as their hands bumped into each other when they both reached for the same book.

Hermione stretched her hands over her head, trying to stretch the muscles she felt contracting uncomfortably. She stifled a yawn, and eyed the boy in the armchair with interest. He was bending so close to the parchment his nose nearly touched the ink, and he scribbled furiously, as if desperate to get the thought down before it disappeared. He kept up with his fierce writing, and she continued to watch him with a smile playing on her lips. After a while he seemed to notice her eyes on him and he glanced up to find her smiling amused at him.

He pushed the parchment away across the table and straightened up.

"Done?" he asked in surprise, eyeing his own parchment.

"No, just taking a break," she replied slowly, stretching her strained body again. "You know… McGonagall has been breathing down my neck all week."

"Oh, what for?" he asked, leaning back in the chair as he put his feet up on the table by his unfinished essay.

"I told her I thought we should have a Hogsmeade weekend before Christmas so people could get a chance to shop for Christmas, and she agreed. So she wants the lists to be put up in all common rooms," Hermione said dully. "And then there's that Yule Ball."

"Eh, another Yule Ball?" He groaned. "I can't say I even liked the previous one all that much."

"Neither did I," Hermione said, scrunching up her nose. "Viktor was a terrible dancer. And he's kind of boring, which is why I stopped answering his letters ages ago," she added after a pause.

"Ah yes, your famous Quidditch Boyfriend," Malfoy teased, while eyeing her in amusement.

"He wasn't my boyfriend," she protested, looking into the creaking flames. "Long distance relationships aren't my kind of thing."

"But you snogged," Malfoy said, and laughed loudly as her cheeks grew red.

"Don't even remind me," she cried, holding her hands in front of her face, shaking her head fiercely.

"That bad?" he chuckled, resting his hands behind his head.

"Worse," she groaned. "It was wet, and sloppy and all over the place."

She shuddered violently, and she heard him laugh heartily at her reaction. Hearing him laugh, she couldn't quite shake the thought of how it had been kissing him. It had been completely different, the exact opposite in fact.

"Nothing worse than sloppy," he said in sympathy, and she nodded absently, trying to rid herself of the unwelcome thoughts. She reminded herself that it had been good because he had a lot of practise, and she finally managed to push him out of her head again.

"Either way... McGonagall wants us to be in charge of the invitations and the decorations for the Ball," she informed. "Which means we're in somewhat of a hurry, I suppose."

"Can't we just appoint some prefects to do the job?" he smirked, and she shot him a stern look, but relented as the thought sipped into her head.

"I suppose we could," she admitted. "But that's just unethical. We're Heads, we have certain things we need to take responsibility for."

"Killjoy," he said, sticking his tongue out.

"Yes, I know. I'm a boring, know-it-all tight arse", she shot back, rolling her eyes, and was surprised to find him laughing hysterically at her comment.

"Which is what we all like about you," he said warmly, and her eyebrow shot up in a challenging manner.

"So, you won't go bothering the prefects with your jobs?" she asked, ready to launch straight back into reprimand mode if he refused.

"No, I won't." He smiled. "I'm quite skilled at colour coordination. And I have impeccable style."

"Sure you do," she grinned, rolling her eyes.

"I do!" he cried, throwing his hands up over his head.

She shook with laughter, and he gave her a vile look before he took out another parchment and began working just as furiously on it as he had on his essay. Shaking her head slightly, she returned to her essay, throwing him curious glances now and again. He never did stop surprising her some way or another, and so far most surprises had been rather pleasant. She always had to smile at the childish enthusiasm he often showed over things he was passionate about. His face would light up, and he'd grin sheepishly, almost bouncing with eagerness if he spoke of it or if there was something he was carrying out. She saw the same expression on his face as he bent over the parchment. At one point he took out his wand as well, and began moving it around with intricate movements over the parchment with his tongue sticking slightly out of the corner of his mouth. She snickered at the sight, but he was to busy to even notice.

Finally, he looked up with a content smile plastered across his face, and she rose her head from her essay just as he gave her the piece of parchment. Looking at it, her lips parted slightly in shock and she stared at him in shock. He had made the invitation for the Yule Ball, and not in a mediocre way either. The font swirled across the parchment in elegant movements, inviting everyone and their date to an enchanted evening of Yule Tide festivities. White snowflakes were enchanted to fall gracefully across the parchment, settling softly at the bottom of the page, the amount of snow growing steadily. Stars strewn across the top of it sparkled beautifully, giving the invitation an elegant touch.

"Malfoy, this is…" she said, shaking her head. She didn't even know how to describe it.

"Magnificent, beautiful, ravishing, fabulous?" he suggested with a twinkle in his eye.

"All of the above," she confirmed, not being able to keep her eyes off it.

"I just need the time and the date, and we can begin giving them out tomorrow already," he said proudly.

"I think we should deliver them by owl." Hermione smiled. "Would be really nice if they were delivered at breakfast."

"Yeah, I agree," he nodded. "I hear you can do a pretty good duplicating charm. Care to help?"

She nodded, and got out the details McGonagall had given her, instructing Malfoy to add a few things to the invite, before they began duplicating them into an insane amount, one for each student inhabiting the school.

"Do we even have enough owls for this?" Hermione asked uncertainly, and Malfoy chuckled at that.

"To be honest: I don't know."

* * *

**A/N:**I had a lot of fun when I wrote this chapter. I think it was one of my favourite ones to write out of the whole thing, it just flowed very easily. Those chapters are always a pleasure!

Thanks a million billion to all reviewers. You are awesome! xx


	9. VIII : Come With Me

**Disclaimer:**I didn't get ownership of Harry Potter for Christmas, so the disclaimer is still here.

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**VIII ; Come with me**

Malfoy was tying yet another piece of parchment to an owl that evening, as she laughed loudly looking around the owlery.

"I hope no one's coming to send a letter tonight," she snickered, seeing a beige parchment on nearly every owl in there.

"Yeah, that would be bad," he admitted, handing her another batch of parchments to tie up.

He turned towards a large, black owl with brown specks on her chest, which hooted happily as he neared. Hermione turned in surprise as he smiled and ran his hand over the head and wings of it.

"Hey there, Camy. Long time," he muttered, giving her an owl treat that he picked up from the bowl not far away.

"Is she yours?" Hermione asked in amazement, walking slowly up to him. He turned to look at her and smiled.

"Yes. She's mine. A present from my mother," he said fondly, and she gave him a quick glance. His features seemed softer at the mention of his mother, and she yet again had to acknowledge that he had more layers than she knew.

"She's beautiful." Hermione smiled, running a finger along the side of her body and the owl cooed happily at her.

"She likes you," he said quickly, giving her a small smile. "That doesn't happen a lot."

"Really?" she stated in shock, looking at the calm owl, who didn't seem capable of hurting a fly.

"She hates Crabbe and Goyle. And she bites Pansy every chance she gets."

Hermione couldn't help but chuckle, and shrugged apologetically when he gave her a stern look.

"I guess she's a better judge of character than I ever was," Malfoy commented matter-of-factly, leaving Hermione with a lot of confusing thoughts mulling around.

She continued to attach parchments to several owl's legs, giving them all a treat and a small pet as she talked quietly to them.

"Are they answering back?" he chuckled as he heard her low mumbling, and she stuck her tongue out.

"I'm just trying to calm them," she said, turning to yet another barn owl. She caught a glimpse of him shaking his head in amusement out the corner of her eye, and she smiled quickly to herself.

"Who are you taking to the Ball then?" he asked suddenly, and her head snapped towards him just as he tied another parchment to an owl's leg. He petted it carefully and moved further along.

"I don't know. The invitations aren't out, so no one has asked me," she said giving him an amused stare.

"You know what I mean."

"Do I?" she asked in confusion, not entirely sure if she did.

When he didn't answer, she sighed and began thinking of her options.

"I guess Harry will try to patch things up with Ginny, and they'll probably go together. Or at least I hope they will. I hate seeing them apart," she mused, thinking about how unhappy Ginny had been all summer.

"Really? I thought you fancied him," Malfoy said in a neutral voice.

"Harry? Oh no." She chuckled. "He's my best friend, and like a very dear brother to me. I love him dearly, but never in that way."

"So, you're not taking him then."

"No. I suppose I'll go with Ron," she said, sighing slightly at the thought against her will. "Even if he's got two left feet and the ugliest dress robe within miles."

Malfoy laughed, and threw her a sympathetic look. "It's not dress robe attire, luckily. The wizards are wearing suits."

"Really?" she replied happily, and suddenly found herself picturing Malfoy in a tailored, black suit complementing his tall figure and broad shoulders. "Well at least that's settled then. So I guess it will be Ron. Or if he wants to go with a real date, I'll probably take Neville."

"Real date?" Malfoy asked in puzzlement.

"Yeah, I'd obviously just take Ron as a friend," she said. "Same thing as with Harry. I love him, but never like that."

"Isn't it kind of depressing to go to a Yule Ball with someone you don't feel anything for?" he asked, inclining his head.

"It's not like I don't feel anything. He's my best friend, I just don't feel anything romantic."

"Which is what I meant," he protested.

"Well, I don't know who I should go with then." She sighed, bowing her head slightly as she fidgeted with yet another parchment.

"I do," he replied fiercely, and she locked eyes with him after raising her head slowly. Her heart beat uncomfortably in her chest and she felt her face redden.

"Malfoy…"

"I know." He sighed. "I know we can't go."

"Right." She nodded, feeling oddly put down by that fact. She didn't really want to go with him, did she?

"So, who will you take then?" she asked, fighting the thought threatening to break free from the back of her head.

"Pansy, I suppose. Or whichever girl sitting in the Slytherin common room when I happen to be in the mood for asking," he said gloomily, and she shot him a small smile.

"Isn't it depressing to go to a Yule Ball with someone you don't feel anything for?" she mimicked, and he huffed, annoyed at her words.

"Yes it is," he replied to her surprise.

"Yeah, I guess I agree with that."

The next morning, breakfast was quickly interrupted by the entire owlery flying in through the windows of the Great Hall. Each student watched the spectacular sight with their mouths open, not entirely sure if they had ever seen quite that many owls at once before.

Every student got an owl landing on their shoulders, holding out their leg expectantly. Hermione gave her owl a piece of her toast, and rolled out the parchment even if she knew what it held. The invitations looked just as wonderful as they had the previous day, and she smiled in satisfaction at their... erm… his… work.

The Hall soon erupted in cheers, excited squeals and unmistakable groans. One of the groans came from right beside her, and she chuckled at Ron's defeated expression.

"You cannot tell me that we have to repeat that awful ordeal all over again," he exclaimed, throwing his arms out in exasperation. "The dress robes, the failed dates, the moping around, the jea—"

"Ron, calm down." Hermione smiled. "First of all, if you look at the invites closely, the guys have to wear suits, not dress robes."

"That's a relief," he breathed, taking a bite of his toast. "So, Harry, ready for another fiasco?"

"No, Ron, I am not," he said defiantly. "I'm not planning to let this one get as ugly as the previous one."

Hermione shook her head at Ron's pessimism, but quickly turned her attention to Harry, who looked oddly determined.

"Ginny… will you go to the Ball with me?" he asked quickly, turning to the girl sitting next to him. Ginny's mouth fell open and she dropped her fork to the floor in shock. Hermione grinned from ear to ear, barely keeping back a girlish squeal. Ginny seemed to have forgotten the question, and ducked under the table to get her fork instead. She surfaced with her cheeks blazing red.

"Ginny?" Harry asked uncertainly, looking frightened out of his mind.

"Oh!", she exclaimed and smiled so widely Hermione thought her face would split. "I'd love to."

"Fantastic," Harry beamed. "See, Ron! Nothing like last time. I got the girl I wanted this time."

Ron just huffed, and pushed another piece of toast into his mouth. She watched him expectantly, but he didn't even seem to remember she was there to be asked. Harry met her gaze, and he shook his head in exasperation at his friend. She just smiled, and reminded herself that it didn't really matter to her who she went with. She could have fun either way.

She glanced quickly around the Great Hall, seeing everyone talk excitedly, and presumed it was the Ball on everyone's lips. She also saw several girls admiring the invitations, and her eyes quickly fell on the Slytherin table where she nearly jerked in shock of finding Malfoy's eyes resting on her. She gave him a quick smile before turning back to her friends again.

"These invitations are marvellous," Ginny exclaimed, eyeing it as she ate slowly.

"We made them last night," Hermione said, feeling pleased by her reaction.

"You two made these?" Ginny asked in surprise. "They're very well done."

"Yes, and we spent the entire night in the owlery tying everyone of them to a ruddy owl." She laughed, shaking her head.

"You spent the night in the owlery with Malfoy?" Ron asked with his eyebrow raised in a displeased expression.

"Not literally all night, you goofball." She smiled, nudging him softly.

"Still."

"Ron, come one. What was I supposed to do? Let the Head Boy do all the work alone?" she asked in annoyance, wondering if he had always been this immature.

"Ron, stop being a git," Harry commanded, handing his friend another piece of toast, that he gladly accepted.

The next few weeks everyone were so occupied with the coming Ball and who to ask that Hermione had to put up extra notes to remind everyone to sign up for the Hogsmeade weekend. Everywhere she went people were talking about the ball. Girls were whispering about who they wanted to be asked by, and many of the guys were groaning about who to ask and how to get them alone so they could be asked.

Hermione still had no one to go with, and as the days were closing in, she began growing a bit worried. But she decided to buy her dress anyway, and if all came down to it, she could go alone, and then just dance with anyone who wanted to. It wasn't really that big of a deal.

The day of the Hogsmeade trip enrolled, and Hermione left the common room early to find her friends. They were all waiting for her down in the entrance hall, all dressed up in the warmest clothes they had, seeing as it as an abnormally cold day. The sun was shining palely, and the sky was clear blue, but the air was crisp and refreshing, leaving the snow to sparkle nicely underneath their feet.

They walked along the path leading to the village, periodically pushing each other into the deep snow or racing each other to the nearest tree. Hermione laughed loudly as Harry pushed Ron headfirst into the snow, making him struggle wildly to get loose. Ginny ended up having to pull him out, and Hermione held out the hat he had dropped in the fall. He swore he would get revenge before the trip was over, but they merely laughed at him and ran off.

Soon, they entered Hogsmeade, where they first split in two. The girls went together to shop for presents and dresses, and Harry and Ron went their own way doing god knows what.

"I'm so happy you're going with Harry to the Ball!" Hermione squealed almost the moment they were alone. Ginny laughed heartily at her enthusiasm before she beamed at her friend.

"Me too. I know it's not everything I hope for, but at least it's something," she admitted, looking around at the different shops that surrounded them. "Let's go look at dresses."

Hermione nodded, and the two girls trailed off to the only tailor of the village, hidden nicely away from the busiest street of Hogsmeade, but she feared it would be crammed with squealing girls from Hogwarts trying to get their tiny hands on the best dresses.

To her amazement, the store was almost entirely empty when they entered, and Ginny looked at her in shock.

"Where are the hordes?" Hermione asked with a stifled laugh.

"I can't believe we got here first." Ginny chuckled, making her way towards the back where most of the dresses were kept. "Maybe most people already have dresses at home that they've gotten sent over or something."

"Maybe," Hermione answered absently, as she let her fingers run over the soft fabrics. She looked through a lot of them, giving Ginny advice at the same time. Looking at the price tags on most of them, she quickly dismissed them, but found a few nice ones that she wanted to try on.

Ginny gathered a few of her own, and they made their way to the dressings room with the owner — a tall, friendly lady by the name of Madam Leewy — railing close behind.

They both threw the curtains aside at the same time, taking in each other's dresses. Ginny was wearing a pale, peach-coloured dress, long and flowing, but she was also wearing a large grimace on her face.

"I look like a marshmallow," she pronounced, and Hermione snorted with laughter.

However, Ginny looked absolutely stunning in the next dress she put on, a deep green, long dress in a delicate fabric. Her red hair and brown eyes glowed against it, and Hermione clapped her hands in excitement over how nice it looked. Ginny ended up twirling around outside the dressing rooms while Hermione headed inside again.

Hermione didn't quite like any of the dresses she had picked out for herself, until she saw one that had been abandoned by the previous taker of the room. It seemed to be about her size, and it was a wonderful silk fabric, that felt cool against her skin. She decided to try it on, and nearly fell to the floor at how beautiful it was. It didn't quite fit in every area, but Madam Lewy could fix that.

She pushed aside the curtain and found Ginny gaping at what she saw. The dress was deep red, highlighting her pale skin and brown hair, tight fitted along the waist, but flowed elegantly around her legs from the waist down, and she did a little twirl in it, smiling happily. The straps were broad, but it looked good on her shoulders. She grinned happily until she saw the price tag, and her face fell.

"I can't possibly afford this." She sighed, letting her arms fall.

"Sweetheart, you look stunning!" Madam Lewy cried. "It needs to be taken in around the chest, I see, but that can be fixed instantly."

"I love this dress, but… it's completely out of my price range," she admitted, and knew she had to go for the white one she had tried on before.

"Your date will die when he sees you in this," the old lady exclaimed.

"I don't actually have a date." Hermione sighed, looking to the floor.

"That I refuse to believe," Madam Lewy said, shaking her head. "Sweetheart, you are not leaving here without this dress. I will give you a discount on it, how does that sound?"

"Oh, that is so kind of you, but I can't…"

"Oh, of course you can," she dismissed, starting to take the dress inn to make it fit Hermione's curves perfectly.

"You look absolutely amazing," Ginny beamed. "Ron the Arse doesn't even deserve going with you. You should have some prince or another."

Hermione laughed, thinking that she should have been going with the Slytherin Prince, making her wonder where on earth that came from. She shook her head, and smiled at her friend.

"I don't even mind going alone. I can dance with anyone I want."

"Yeah, that would be the upside of not going with Ron. I hope I don't have to dance with him, he'll ruin my dress." Ginny sighed, and walked back into the dressing room to change.

Moments later, both girls had bought their dresses for the Ball and went shopping for Christmas presents together, trailing both the Quidditch supply store, the bookstore and several small boutiques that could possibly have anything of interest. Hermione got both Ron and Harry things from the Quidditch supply store, and her parents both something from the book store, and she managed to buy Ginny a nice bracelet without her even noticing. Perhaps because she was too busy with eyeing Harry, who was walking right across the street at that moment.

When Hermione lay her eyes on a wonderful watch, that wasn't even all that expensive, she got a sudden urge to get Malfoy something. It screamed Malfoy to her, but she was sure he had more expensive and nicer ones to wear. After eyeing it for a long while, she decided she might as well just buy it. What was the harm, anyway. If he didn't like it, he didn't even have to wear it. She just felt like she should be giving him something, even if he didn't give her anything back. After all, he had helped her immensely all year, especially with the whole issue on Lewthorn.

"Who are you buying that for?" Ginny asked as she peered over her shoulders.

"Oh, err, my dad, I think. I haven't actually decided, I just really liked it." She smiled, and turned around to pay the man at the desk.

"It's really nice." Ginny smiled back. "You have excellent taste. I still don't know why you want to go with Ron to the Ball."

Hermione snickered as they went out of the store and headed for the Three Broomsticks.

"I just want to go as his friend, you know. Have a good time, dance, talk to other people."

"You know he would want to go as more than that," Ginny said in a hushed voice, looking sideways at Hermione.

"I guess I do know that, but I just can't do that." She sighed.

"Do you like someone else?"

"I... I don't really know," Hermione stuttered. "But I know I can't like Ron that way. I know everyone thinks we would be perfect together, but it just doesn't feel right."

"Hermione, that's perfectly okay. It's your choice, not anyone else's," Ginny assured her, just as they opened the door and stepped inside a crammed Three Broomsticks. She grabbed Hermione's hand and led her inside, looking around for Harry and Ron. "Oh, there they are."

The two girls slipped down at a table, where two Butterbeers were already waiting for them.

"Thanks!" Hermione smiled, taking a large sip of it, not realising how thirsty she had been. She looked around, not really knowing who she was looking for. In a far corner sat Hagrid, Professor Sprout and Professor Flitwick, and Hermione waved cheerfully at the large, good natured half-giant. He waved enthusiastically back, making Professor Sprout duck quickly out of the way to not get thrown to the floor.

Hermione chuckled, before turning her attention back to Harry who was trying to trick Ginny into telling him what she had got him for Christmas.

"Hermione, do you know?" Harry asked curiously.

"Yes, I was there," She smiled. "But I'm not telling."

"You're just mean!" He laughed. "I would tell you what Ron bought you for Christmas."

"Well, too bad for you that I don't want to know, then," she said, sticking her tongue out.

"Harry, just wait till Christmas like normal people." Ginny grinned, ruffling his hair up lovingly. Hermione snickered at them, and emptied her bottle, before looking around again. She felt restless for some reason; as if there was something she'd forgotten.

* * *

**A/N:** I knoooow. It's the shopping for dresses sequence, and it's so lame, but it just snuck in there without my permission! Gah!

Anywho!

Happy New Year's everyone. May we have a great 08! (omg that rhymes. Funky!)

Thanks to all reviewers:D


	10. IX : Sacrifice

**Disclaimer:** For all you know I could be JK Rowling living out her sordid Draco/Hermione fantasies. But, you know. Since life sucks, I'm not.

**A/N**: I know I just updated, but I have a lot of chapters on this thing so I figured I had to get my act together. So, behold chapter 9! And it's a long one!

* * *

**IX ; Sacrifice**

She ordered another Butterbeer for herself and Ginny, and they sat by the table talking cheerfully, while she still had that nagging feeling in her stomach.

"Granger?" a voice from behind her said, and she wheeled around, finding the tall guy looking down on her.

"Malfoy?" she asked in surprise, and then smacked her hand over her forehead. "Oh God, I completely forgot!"

"We should get going, or the shops will close before we get there," he said, not looking at her friends.

"What is he on about?" Ron asked in a high-pitched voice. "Where are you going with Malfoy?"

"Ron, stop being so suspicious about everything," Hermione huffed in annoyance as she got up. "We have to do the decorations for the Yule Ball and we have a lot of supplies to buy."

She waved goodbye to Harry and Ginny, ignoring Ron out of sheer annoyance with his possessiveness. And even with being so jealous, he still hadn't bothered to ask her to the damn ball. Huffing at his stupidity, she followed Malfoy out into the freezing December cold.

"Do you know where we would find all the things we need?" she asked, looking around the village. She had never really had the need for any decorations.

"There's a store down on the other end of the village. I've been there once," he said, smiling at her. "Are you cold?"

"No, I'm alright," she assured him, as they strolled side by side in the snow of the village. Hermione peered through all the shop windows, realising how few of them she had actually been in while visiting Hogsmeade.

"Has that moron even asked you to the Ball yet?" Malfoy asked in an annoyed voice, looking at her shopping bags.

"No, he hasn't," she said shortly. "But I don't really mind. I thought I could go on my own and just dance with everyone I wanted to dance with."

"You're not going alone," he replied, turning to open the door of a small shop. He stepped aside to let her in, and she smiled gratefully at him as she slipped past.

"If he doesn't ask you soon, I'm taking you to the Ball, and that's final."

"Malfoy, you already asked someone," she accused, looking around at all the marvellous decorations in awe.

"I'll un-ask her."

"Yeah, that won't cause any gossip. Draco Malfoy cancels on his date and takes Hermione Granger, the ultimate Mudblood, to the Yule Ball instead."

He narrowed his eyes at her, and then turned away.

"I'm taking you if he doesn't," Malfoy said, turning towards the empty desk in front of the store. He reached out towards the bell and gave it a sharp shake..

Hermione sighed, and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Are you trying to get your father to hunt us down?" she asked in a hiss, and he gave her a wide eyed stare, but couldn't reply since the shop owner came darting out of the backroom.

"Mr. Malfoy," the shopowner cried in delight. "What an honour to see you again, sir."

"Delighted to be back, Mr. Aburn." Malfoy bowed, ignoring the greedy look the shop owner gave him.

"How may I help you, my good man?"

"We are decorating for the Yule Ball up at the Castle, and we need enough decorations to cover the Great Hall. Your best ones, if you can." Malfoy smiled, making Hermione nearly shake her head. How he could be so overly polite around people was beyond her. The shop owner's grovelling nearly made her sick.

"Of course, Mr. Malfoy. Only the best for you," Mr. Alburn assured. "What colours are you thinking?"

"Silver and white," Malfoy immediately replied, and Hermione raised her eyebrows.

"It's a Yule Ball. What about red and green?," she asked, looking around as the shop owner began darting around for his best decorations.

"Red and green also happens to be house colours. Silver and white are neutral, plus they work perfectly together. I thought I told you I had perfect colour coordination skills." He grinned, giving her a humorous glance.

"And I told you I didn't believe it," she bit back, making him roll his eyes.

"Trust me on this one, alright?"

Minutes later they came out with their hands full of bags of decorations, Hermione barely even seeing over the top of all the bags she was carrying. She heard Malfoy say something to her, but couldn't even hear him as they stepped out of the village and towards the castle. She felt the ground starting to lean downhill, and found herself being uncomfortable at not being able to look down. She felt her boot get stuck in something and she flew forward, only to be gripped back by a strong pair of hands.

"Whoa, Granger. Slow down," he teased, taking a few of her bags from her. "You can levitate them you know, instead of blinding yourself with them."

She laughed at her own stupidity, and levitated the bags behind her as she walked comfortably by his side.

"I got back my essay from Lewthorn," she breathed, watching smoke appear from her mouth and blend with his.

"I got an E, and yours was based on the same info as mine. What did you get?" he asked, looking expectantly at her.

"It didn't have a mark," she admitted, burying her hands deep in her pockets.

"It didn't have a mark?" he spat violently, holding out his hand to stop her. "Are you serious?"

"Quite." She sighed, not wanting to look him in the eyes. The entire ordeal was getting embarrassing.

"That's it, I'm telling McGonagall," he said fiercely, but her head shot up and she begged him not to.

"Please, Malfoy, he'll just think I went crying to the Headmistress."

"I'm not listening to this nonsense. Right after we come back for Christmas, I'm talking to McGonagall about this idiocy."

He began walked again, and she made sure her bags were still intact before following him and his tail of bags.

"He won't like that I told on him. It won't make it any better," she insisted, but he just shook his head.

"So, you're just going to let him treat you like that?" he asked in disbelief.

"I let you treat me like that for six years." She shrugged, watching him freeze up.

"Is that what you think?" he asked, turning towards her, and she closed her eyes in the realisation that she had hurt his feelings.

"I know you never did anything like that, but you called me a Mudblood and used every chance to humiliate me for the better part of our school years. And don't tell me that telling on you would have helped."

He shook his head, and didn't meet her eyes. She watched him as he fixed his eyes on the ground, biting his lip, and regretted ever bringing it up.

"Come on, it's not like it's like that anymore. That's how it used to be, not how it is now," she said softly, just as they neared the castle.

"But you'll never forget how it used to be," he said in a flat voice.

"People don't just forget things that happen," Hermione said as she reached entrance. "But I forgave it months ago."

She left him standing on the stairs, looking after her as she went up to their common room.

* * *

Later that week, which happened to be their last week of school before the holidays, Ginny brought Ron around Hermione and Malfoy's common room, hoping that would make him more comfortable to ask her to the Ball. The Ball was that very Saturday, being the last thing they would do before leaving school on Sunday. Hermione still didn't mind going alone, but going with Ron as a friend would be even better, and she was rather annoyed with his hesitation. She knew he had been angry at himself after the last one that he hadn't asked her sooner, and she couldn't for her life see why he couldn't get his act together enough this time to avoid the same thing.

"Your common room is so cosy," Ginny beamed, looking around the neat common room. Hermione was indeed rather strict about cleaning up after themselves.

"You'll more than likely live here next year," she commented. "I don't see any of the other prefects making a better Head Girl than you would."

"Thanks, Hermione. I really hope so. I wouldn't mind getting away from those idiots I share a dorm with. And when you guys leave, I have practically no one I even want to hang out with anymore." She sighed, shaking her head.

"I don't like the fact that you'll share all this with a boy," Ron said darkly. "A lot can happen in a common room and a kitchen."

"We share bathrooms as well," Hermione stated dryly, falling into a warm chuckle at Ron's horrified expression. "We lock the doors, you know."

"After we're both securely placed in the shower, of course," Malfoy stated dryly from the kitchen.

Ginny and Hermione fell into a fit of laughter as Ron's face grew hot red and he rose from the couch with his fist clenched dangerously.

"Honestly, Ron, calm down," Hermione cried between laughing fits. "I'm not taking showers with Malfoy."

Ron looked at her in confusion, and she could formerly see Malfoy roll his eyes even if her back was turned to him.

"It's called a joke, Weasley," he said in exasperation. "No need to jump me."

"Yeah, Ron, don't be so incredibly tense," Ginny urged, pulling him calmly down on the couch again, and Hermione felt a warmth towards Malfoy, who was really treating her friends well all considering.

"Anyone up for hot chocolate?" he suddenly asked from the kitchens, and they heard the cups clink against each other as he pulled them out of the cupboards. Ron's eyes widened in horror, but Hermione turned and smiled widely.

"Yes, please, that would be great."

"Are you mental?" Ron suddenly yelled. "You're going to drink something he gives you?"

"He's not trying to poison me," she snapped, rolling her eyes. "I've been eating his sandwiches for ages, and I'm still alive."

"And my omelettes," Malfoy reminded her.

"Oh, yeah, your omelettes are delicious."

"You must be kidding me," Ron spat, crossing his arms over his chest. Malfoy completely ignored him.

"Marshmallows, Granger?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Weasleys?"

"Sure." Ginny grinned. "Thanks a lot."

Ron didn't answer; he just looked between the two girls with an indignant expression on his face. Even if he hadn't answered to any questions Malfoy had asked, Malfoy came back with four mugs of hot chocolate with marshmallows, putting one in front of them each before dropping into the available armchair.

"Thank you." Hermione smiled, enclosing her hands around the mug, and Ginny also thanked him, before reaching for her own. She felt the warmth run across her fingers, and she brought it up to her lips to blow carefully on it. Forming her lips carefully, she blew on the top of it to make it less hot, and she caught Malfoy's eyes over the mug. He watched her with interest, and she narrowed her eyes challengingly at him.

"Wow, this is really good!" Ginny exclaimed, and gave Ron a dirty look since he hadn't even looked at his mug.

"It's my mother's recipe," Malfoy said with a smiled. "She always made it for me when I was sick."

"See, it's a Death Eater recipe. Happy now?" Ron growled, sending both girls vile looks.

"Ronald Weasley!" Hermione boomed, putting her mug down with a bang. He jumped a mile at her anger, and his eyes widened. "Stop being such a five year old brat, and drink your bloody cocoa!"

He gave her a scared look and reached hesitantly for the mug, clutching it with both hands. She kept looking at him with her sternest look until he put it to his lips, and took a sip. He looked dejectedly back at her, and kept sipping nervously from the mug.

"Well?" she asked threateningly, holding her hands at her side.

"It's really good," he said reluctantly, putting the mug back down.

Hermione beamed at him and turned towards Malfoy, whose shoulders were shaking violently with suppressed laughter. She then turned to Ginny, who was trying not to laugh as well, but as Ginny and Malfoy looked at each other, they both burst out into a booming laughter, filling the common room.

"Oh, Merlin, Granger. You sure know how to scare a man out of his wits," Malfoy said, gasping for breath.

"You remind me so much of Mum, it's like being home at The Burrow when she's talking to Fred and George," Ginny gasped, clutching her sides. "Oh, Ron. When will you learn…"

"Oh alright, I was an idiot, okay?" Ron said, his cheeks flaming red now.

"It's alright," Hermione assured him, giving the other two a stern look.

"By the way, Ginny, all prefects have to spend the day decorating for the Ball on Saturday. We're all due down there at ten AM and all meals will be served in the respective common rooms," she added while she still remembered it, admiring how good the cocoa tasted. "What's in this thing, anyway? It's delicious."

"A few kinds of chocolate, and a few secret ingredients," he said, giving her a mysterious glance.

"I'll be there," Ginny assured her. "Did you get everything you needed?"

"Yeah, I had so many bags to carry home from Hogsmeade I almost ended up falling and rolling down the hill." She sighed, rolling her eyes in a small laugh.

"Cleverest girl in school didn't quite remember that she could levitate the bags instead of stacking them up over her face. Of course you were going to fall, you couldn't see a thing." Malfoy chuckled, and she stuck her tongue out at him.

"But I didn't fall," she said triumphantly.

"No thanks to yourself," he reminded her, and she muttered something incoherently in reply. She noticed that Ginny eyed their bickering with interest, and she quickly took a large sip of her cocoa, cursing herself for not being more on guard.

They sat in silence for a while, and Hermione noticed Ron grew steadily more unnerved at the situation, and it was more than likely Malfoy's presence, if not more the light tone they carried between them. She felt more and more uncomfortable herself, and turned quickly towards Malfoy when he sighed heavily.

"Look," he suddenly said, gaining everyone's attention at once.

"What?" Hermione then said, when he just looked at them with an annoyed glance.

"Look, Weasel. You better get your broomstick into flying mode soon and ask Granger to the bloody Ball, or I will have to step up and make sure the Head Girl doesn't have to go all by herself," he threatened, leaving each of the three Gryffindors with their mouths open.

Hermione herself had of course known he was thinking it, but she had never thought he would actually threaten Ron with it, but when she saw Ron's panic stricken face, she couldn't help but give Malfoy a grateful glance.

"Erm, when you put it that way," Ron coughed. "Hermione, will you go to the Ball with me?"

"Damn it, Ron, what took you so long?" She sighed, making Ginny chuckle at Ron's surprised face.

"So you'll go with me?"

"Yes, but I have to warn you," she said quickly, not wanting him to misunderstand. "I want to go with you as your friend, and if you want a date date, then please don't let me keep you back"

"No, no." He shook his head and smiled. "I want to go with you… as friends."

She beamed at him, and gave him a quick hug. "I'm glad!"

"See, that wasn't so hard," Malfoy said, but Hermione noticed the false cheerfulness in his voice immediately. The other two obviously didn't, but she sent him a weak smile, that he didn't return. "Since my job here is complete, I'll retreat to my chambers."

"You don't need to –", she began hastily, but he shot her a stern look. She snapped her mouth shut, and watched him disappear up to his own bedroom.

"That guy is a mystery if I ever saw one," Ginny said with her eyebrow raised in a perfect arch, downing the last bit of her hot chocolate. "But he makes a darn good cocoa."

"He can be really confusing." Hermione nodded, leaning back on the couch, wrapping her legs up underneath herself.

"You seem awfully buddy-buddy," Ron said, a bit resentfully.

"Ron, it's easy to be enemies when you only have to see each other once a day. When you have to live with someone, you can't go around insulting them every second of every day. No one can do that, it's just not possible," she defended herself, desperate not to lead on that she had actually developed quite a strong friendship with Draco Malfoy.

"Believe me, we've spent a lot of hours shouting, and even more hours ignoring each other," she promised, making Ron look a tad bit more relaxed.

"Well, now that my mission is accomplished, we should head back to our own common room, I suppose." Ginny smiled, and Ron sent her a terrified look.

"You dragged me here to make me ask Hermione to the Ball?"

"Well, you weren't exactly doing it on your own, were you?," Ginny asked in amusement. "Oh just wait 'til I tell Fred and George that Draco Malfoy had to help you ask a girl out!"

"You wouldn't!" Ron said horrified, as he followed Ginny out the open portrait, and Hermione heard Ginny's laugh carry all the way back to her before the portrait swung shut.

Hermione sighed, picking up the dirty mugs and carried them to the kitchen sink. She felt relieved she finally had someone to go with, but at the same time she knew something was bothering her, she just didn't really want to think it. After having washed their mugs clean, and put them back in the cupboard, she went up stairs.

Hesitating slightly outside it, she knocked carefully on Malfoy's bedroom door. At first she heard nothing, and she knocked again.

"Come in," his muffled voice said, and she opened the door, peering inside. His tall figure sat perched up on the bed, with a book leaning up against his knees. She noticed his quill ran across the page of it, and he was biting on his lower lip as he led it.

"You have a journal?" she asked in an amused voice, leaning against the wall, crossing her hands over her chest.

"So what if I do?" he answered, but all humour was gone for his voice.

"So what are you writing for today then?" She smiled, watching him with a soft expression in her dark brown eyes.

"I dare say that isn't any of your business," he replied, not looking up.

"I just wanted to say I appreciate what you did today," she said genuinely, when she realised he wasn't quite in the joking mood.

"Yeah, I don't know what came over me. Since when do I help Weasleys?" he muttered, looking almost angry with himself.

She chuckled, and decided what he definitely needed more than anything was to talk to her. His eyes were speaking more than he knew, and she could see the bitterness well up in them. She swallowed her inhibitions and walked slowly over to his bed. When he didn't even look up at that, she sighed heavily and jumped up on it.

"Malfoy, come on. It's not that bad." She smiled. "Ron's my friend, it's not like you hitched us up for marriage or anything."

He sighed greatly, and could no longer ignore her presence as she was sitting at the foot of his bed, facing him stubbornly. Running his hand through his hair, he closed the book with a smack, and put it in the drawer of his nightstand.

"No one can read that besides me," he told her, giving her an accusing stare.

"Hey, journals are private. I know not to snoop." She shrugged, picking at the loose threads in the cover. "Thanks for being nice to my friends."

"I don't actually strive to be nice, you know," he growled, looking almost embarrassed by how he had been acting downstairs, and she rolled her eyes at his apparent annoyance.

"It suits you, though."

"That's a vile insult, Granger," he replied, some of the sparkle in his eyes returning. She narrowed her eyes in mock-anger, and chucked the nearest pillow at his head.

"Ow!" he cried, throwing one back at her with equal force. She shrieked with laughter as she got up on her knees and threw herself at him with one pillow in each hand. He fought bravely against her attack, and ended up turning the tables before she could even understand what he'd done. Soon enough, she found herself helplessly on her back as he was chucking all his pillows at her with the help of his wand, and she laughed loudly at his now determined face.

"I give up, I give up," she breathed, actually exhausted from the small fight. She took his pillows back in her hands to put them neatly back, but he watched her in suspicion.

"I'm putting them back." She chuckled, watching him lower the wand and smile quickly at her. Leaning forwards, she put one of the pillows behind her back, and sat leaned against the headboard of his bed. He settled down next to her and they sat there in silence enjoying each other's company.

Soon enough, they were talking calmly amongst themselves, both of them knowing they wouldn't want to be anywhere else, but none of them said a word about it. He slipped under his covers at one point, but she stayed onto of them, watching him lie down as they bickered slightly, and laughed at each other's stupid comments. She smiled as his blonde hair became instantly ruffled against the pillow, and she fell further down onto the bed, letting herself relax entirely

She awoke with a start, wondering why on earth she was still wearing her clothes. Looking around, her room seemed oddly different as well. The colours were the same, but the furniture was placed entirely different. She suddenly became aware that her hand was wrapped around a large bulk under the covers and she suddenly remembered with a pang that she had gone into Malfoy's room last night to talk.

Raising her eyebrows in shock, she realised she had fallen asleep in his bed with her hands wrapped around his warm body, and she felt completely embarrassed. She tried to move without waking him, but he suddenly stirred and before she could move off he turned around towards her. Within seconds his eyes had opened and locked with her brown ones.

"Hi," she greeted with a sheepish grin. "I sort of fell asleep in your bed."

He raised his eyebrow, and used his right hand to flatten the mop of unruly, blond hair on his head.

"I'm sorry," she said, flushing, struggling to get up, but his arm shot up and stopped her.

"Granger, stop fussing. It's still early, get back down."

"But I'm in your bed," she protested, completely sure he must be annoyed at this.

"All the better reason to stay," He smirked, and she slapped him playfully on the arm with a shocked expression on her face. She let herself fall back onto the pillows, though, and before she knew it, his arm had reached across her stomach and drawn her a little closer. Instead of resisting, she smiled at him and closed her eyes in relaxation.

What felt like only moments later, she woke up again and felt oddly cold. She realised quickly he had gotten out of the bed, and his arm was no longer coiled around her. Following him with her eyes, she watched him walk out the door with the clothes he had fallen asleep in last night, both of them completely forgetting to change into their night clothes. Probably cause the stay over hadn't exactly been foreseen.

She got up too, and flattened her hair down with a quick spell, knowing she looked like she was wearing a bird's nest. Her top was wrinkled, and she tried straightening it out before heading downstairs for breakfast. She yawned greatly, and stretched her hands over her head, feeling a desperate need for coffee. The usual morning kettle was standing on their stove, already prepared by the house elves. She poured some into two mugs, giving the sleepy figure slouching in the armchair one of them.

"Thanks," he said groggily, running his hands over his eyes.

"Want to go down to the Great Hall for an early breakfast? I really don't feel like making any," she confessed, sitting down on the armrest of the chair he was sitting in.

"We might as well, but it's dead early. I have no idea why I got up that soon," he complained, and she felt immediately guilty.

"I was the one who disrupted your sleep and all that. I'm sorry," she said genuinely, taking a heavy sip of her coffee.

"Stop being so sorry, Granger," he reprimanded with a grin. "It was kind of nice, actually."

She nodded absently, realising it had been kind of nice to not wake up alone in bed. That was a new experience for sure, even if she had been sleeping above the covers.

"Come on, let's head down," he said, sounding entirely more cheerful. He threw her robe at her, and she had to hold her coffee mug high into the air to avoid spilling it. She yelped slightly, but managed to put the mug down without spilling all over herself. Making sure the mug was safe; she pulled her robe on and walked up to the guy who was waiting for her by the portrait. They climbed out together, and walked calmly side by side.

"We're definitely going to be the only ones down in the Great Hall," he commented as their steps echoed through the deserted hallways. "It's not even half six yet"

"Well, I suppose that's even for the better. People would think it was odd if we had breakfast together, and now they won't know," she mused, jumping enthusiastically down the steps.

"We eat breakfast together almost every morning," he reminded her, and struggled to keep up.

"I don't think they've picked up on that fact."

"True enough," he admitted as they entered the — as predicted — empty Great Hall.

They stopped, looking around in uncertainty. She wasn't quite sure if she felt comfortable sitting at the Slytherin table. After all, she wouldn't want to infest it all with her muddy blood.

"Let's just sit at the Gryffindor table," he suggested after seeing her apprehensive expression, and she smiled gratefully at him. She grabbed his hand without thinking, and led him to the very middle of the table.

"I hope it's not too early for food," she said worryingly, as they sat down, facing each other across the table.

"I hadn't even thought of that," he said, frowning slightly, but just as he had said it, two plates appeared in front of them, and a selection of goods materialised out of thin air.

"Marvellous." She grinned, piling her plate with toast, pie and scones, smacking her lips eagerly.

"Who knew you were such a food wreck." He grinned back, taking it slightly easier with his plate.

"I've spent six years eating with Harry and Ron. It's unavoidable," she admitted, chewing absently on her toast.

"So this is what it feels like to be a Gryffindor," he said, winking quickly at her.

She laughed, not realising the staff table already started filling with occupants.

"Yeah, I bet it's really different from the Slytherin table"

"Entirely," he said in full seriousness. "At the Slytherin table we sit underneath the benches and eat straight from the floor."

"Oh, interesting." She nodded with a professional air. "Do you eat pie filled with guts and drink blood juice as well, perhaps?"

"Nah, we usually feast on unicorn blood. And innocent Muggle-borns."

"I always knew I was missing out," she cried, not able to keep her laughter back anymore. They both laughed heartily, shaking their heads at each other. Malfoy buttered his toast with elegant movements, and Hermione stared absently around as she chewed repeatedly. When her eyes fell on the now full staff table, she jerked in shock. She met McGonagall's hawk like eyes which were eyeing the two of them in surprise.

"Erm." She coughed, looking down on her plate, feeling her cheeks redden.

"What's… ooh," he said quickly as he looked up at the staff table. "Hagrid looks mad."

Hermione gave Malfoy an odd glance, before turning her eyes towards Hagrid, who did indeed look ready to strike. She hurriedly stuck her hand up in a cheerful wave, and smiled reassuringly at him. He seemed to relax at that, and she let her breath out. Who knew what Hagrid may have thought he would do to save her from the mean Malfoy.

"Lewthorn doesn't look too pleased either," she muttered, careful not to let her eyes rest too long on her potions professor.

"Perhaps not that odd," he replied, keeping his eyes on her instead of at their teachers. "He expects me to think like him, and if I wasn't so hungry right now I would be slightly worried."

"Worried?"

"He knows a lot of the right people… or wrong people, depending on which way you look at it. If he thought I was acting abnormally, he would run straight to my father. The fact that he hasn't already is almost a bit surprising."

"I guess having breakfast with me would constitute as weird." She smiled, reaching for the pumpkin juice. "Here, have some unicorn blood."

She poured the liquid into his glass as he laughed, making all eyes dart to them again. She could feel them on her back, and it wasn't all that pleasant.

"He should realise that sharing a dorm means sharing a couple of meals as well," he then said, giving the staff a quick glance. "But then again, he's never been too smart… oh my, they really are having entertainment with the meal, aren't they"

"I think we should count ourselves lucky that we aren't going to the Ball together. They'd probably require that we have our heads checked." She sighed, wanting nothing more than for the annoying staff to find something else to focus on.

"Suppose you're right about that." he chuckled. "I didn't even know they'd be down here this early."

"I can't say I've actually thought about it," she replied, shrugging quickly. "Oh, my mail is early."

The small barn owl came tumbling onto the table, barely managing to stop in front of her plate. She petted it with a soothing motion, and gave it a bit of toast before taking the Daily Prophet into her hands. Using her fingers to search quickly through it, she handed him the sports section, and he smiled widely at her.

"And the headline news are… Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger have breakfast together. Hogwarts staff all at St. Mungo's for shock treatment," she joked, and he roared with laughter, making the entire staff table jump in shock and stare at him as if his head had fallen off.

"Granger, you're killing me," he gasped, clutching his sides. "They're going to think I'm mental."

"I think they've been thinking that already," Hermione stated dryly as she flipped through the pages of the paper, which held nothing but unimportant news now a days. They both fell silent, reading their respective parts of the newspaper. When they noticed that they were suddenly turning the page at the same time, they chuckled, and soon the large pages were getting in the way of the other one's space.

"You're hogging my reading space," she complained, pushing his paper towards him. "I can't turn the pages without yours being caught in there."

"How do you know your paper isn't at fault?"

"My paper is flawless, thank you very much."

He gave it a joking nudge, and she stuck her tongue out, trying to turn the page again, but his page was in the way. They battled for a second, until she closed hers with a sigh and threw it further along the table.

"I give up," she announced, and suddenly grabbed his part. She threw that too away, and he gave her an accusing glare. "If I don't get to read, you don't get to read."

He gave her a small pout, and she laughed, offering him her toast as comfort. "Here you go, 'wittle Malfoy."

"I don't want it," he proclaimed, and she put the dry toast back before buttering it and putting a thick slice of cheese on it. Just as she was about to take it off her plate, he snatched it away and ate it in two bites.

"Malfoy!" she laughed in exasperation. "Stealing food from a poor, hungry girl."

"Poor, hungry girl?" He chuckled. "You've eaten more than a damn Hippogriff."

She gave him a vile stare, and he raised his eyebrow before downing the last part of his pumpkin juice just as Hermione looked up to see Harry sit down on the bench beside Malfoy. Harry didn't even seem to be too bothered by Malfoy's presence.

"You two up so early?" he asked, watching their almost empty plates and the prophet thrown across the table.

"Yeah, we managed to wake each other up around six AM for some odd reason." Hermione sighed. "And we were both too tired to make breakfast, so here we are."

"Ron and Ginny are doing my head in with their bickering." Harry sighed. "They've been nagging and nagging about all that stuff from yesterday until I just left them sitting there, deciding to get down here early instead."

"Ginny still can't let that go, can she?" Hermione chuckled, passing Harry the pumpkin juice.

"Unicorn Blood?" Malfoy asked, pouring the pumpkin juice into Harry's glass, and Harry threw the chuckling Hermione a confused stare, but she just shook her head quietly.

"Unicorn blood is silver anyway," Harry told them, while buttering his toast.

"Don't even remind me," Malfoy shuddered. "I still have nightmares about that."

"It was sort of unsettling, wasn't it? Watching Voldemort drink unicorn blood out of the back of Quirrel's head."

"I guess it should have tipped me off about how smart it was to get involved with that guy's business," Malfoy said dryly. "Anyway, I'll see you guys in class. McGonagall's eyes are popping out of her head soon, and I'd better get my arse back to the Slytherin table before they get here."

"Hope the innocent Muggle-borns taste good," she called after him, making everyone snap their heads up in complete shock. Malfoy laughed so hard he had to lean onto the Ravenclaw table, before continuing towards his own table at the other end.

Hermione shook her head in amusement, and found Harry also shaking with laughter as he slipped over on the bench until he sat across from her.

"The teachers are so shocked they can't even seem to remember to eat," he snickered.

"I know, we've been having fun with them all morning."

"Didn't know you two were getting along so well," he commented, continuing his meal.

"It goes up and down, but we tolerate each other." She shrugged.

"I suppose that's for the better," Harry said absently. "Since you're both Heads, I mean."

"Exactly."


	11. X : Wintersong

**A/N:** :O It's the Yule Ball! This is actually one of my personal favourites out of all the chapters. Savour it :P

* * *

**X ; Wintersong**

Ten o'clock, Saturday morning, Hermione and Malfoy met the other prefects down in the now empty Great Hall. The long house tables had been replaced with smaller, round ones and they were placed along the sides for now. Hermione gathered the prefects around, and put a large amount of bags on the floor next to her. She used her wand to carry a table to the middle of the hall, and put all of the decorations in a pile on top of it.

"Guys, we're in a hurry," she proclaimed. "It's already past ten o'clock, and the Ball starts at eight, plus we all will need a few hours to get dressed and ready. I suggest you work your best. We will take a lunch break later, but for now work as you've never worked before."

Her obedient prefects nodded vigorously, but watched the messy pile of different decorations on the table with slight confusion.

"And - I never thought I would say this - listen to Malfoy"

He chuckled at that, still standing behind her with his hands crossed over his chest. Every prefect's eyes swung towards him, some of them wearing rather surprised expressions.

"Yes, good people, I will guide you in what to put where and how it should look. I've done this a few times before." He shrugged. "Granger will be a regular on-the-ground worker with the rest of you, since she has no clue what so ever."

"Oh, thank you, Malfoy. That's so kind," she snapped, and he grinned at her before he suddenly straightened up. He raised the volume of his deep voice and began delegating the jobs around to different people.

Soon they were all working fiercely to make the Great Hall perfect. Even Hermione had to admit that the white and silver theme began to look stunning, as she worked with Ginny on setting the tables. Now and again she watched as Malfoy hovered around, correcting or giving advice, and found she liked his bossy side.

"Granger, don't fold the napkins like that," he moaned, and she turned around with her hands glued to her hips.

"What's wrong with this?" she asked indignantly.

"Well for one, it's not the way I said." he smirked, and he came up behind her to show how she should fold them. "It needs to look more elegant."

He was standing close to her, folding the napkins into an elegant swirl, and she sighed. She couldn't possibly do that. She really did have no clue. He watched her expectantly, but she just looked at him in confusion, and he sighed. Dragging her forwards he put his arms around her and guided her through the folds step by step. She swallowed quickly, ignoring how his tall body moved behind her.

Eventually, she got the folding of the napkins and he smiled quickly at her before he yelled out for Ginny to put the silver under the white and then the other white on top of the silver again.

"You really have an air for this," she commented, as she continued folding, and refolded the ones she had already done. "You could organise our wedding."

She suddenly saw his eyebrows shooting so high up that they disappeared under his fringe. "Our wedding?"

"I didn't say that," she muttered in a horrified tone, realising she had said just that, and wondered why on earth she had.

His eyes glittered with amusement. "Yes you did." She shook her head violently, denying it furiously.

"Hermione, you did say that." Ginny chuckled, looking at her in amusement as she put down the eating utensils by the plates they had just finished setting.

"Well I meant your wedding, and my wedding, as in… our weddings," she said, waving her hands furiously in the air in a gesturing manner.

"Yeah, I'm sorry," Malfoy said with a remorseful expression, and she shot him a weak smile. "I won't do it again… Mrs. Malfoy."

He laughed loudly as he turned his back on her and walked up to the prefects decorating the walls. Hermione fumed with embarrassment, feeling her cheeks redden drastically and she stomped her feet angrily towards the floor. She turned around to find Ginny laughing hysterically.

"I spoke before thinking. I didn't mean I wanted to marry Malfoy," Hermione cried, and Ginny shot her a reassuring glance once she managed to drown her own laughter.

"I know you don't, that's why it's so hilarious, you nitwit."

"I just hope he knows that."

"Of course he does. Sure, you get along alright cause you have to, but once you don't have to anymore it'll go straight back to normal," Ginny assured her, and couldn't possibly know how badly those words struck Hermione.

Would it really go back to normal once they were no longer Head Girl and Boy? She didn't know if she liked the thought at all. Against her will, the thought mulled in her mind all afternoon, until Malfoy suddenly called for everyone's attention.

"I know we're not done yet, but we're far enough along that I think we should release the girls, so that they can get ready. Since we all know they need half a day," he said, rolling his eyes and the guys laughed, while the girls chose to ignore his comment and beamed at the thought of being off the hook.

"Really?" Ginny called from her spot behind Hermione.

"Yes, all girls may go beautify themselves." He nodded, and gathered the males up into a group.

The girls ran up the stairs together, all of them heading off to their respective common rooms.

"Want to come get ready with me and the girls?" Ginny asked as Hermione was about to run up to her room.

"Sure," she beamed. "I just have to get my dress."

Not long after, she found herself in her old dormitory with Lavender and Parvati, and seconds later Ginny joined them. The three girls laughed and talked as they got dressed and ready, and Hermione felt comforted by the light atmosphere. It was almost like she was back in old times, making her feel nostalgic and at home.

Hermione slipped into her deep dark red dress, enjoying the cool silk against her skin, and how well it fitted after Madam Lewy had taken it in a bit. She came out of the bathroom she had changed in, and looked down at her feet, smiling at how the fabric danced nicely around them when she walked. As she looked up she met the stricken faces of her two former roommates.

"Hermione!" Lavender squealed. "You look absolutely amazing."

"Really?" Hermione smiled, giving a little twirl.

"Merlin, you've grown up," Parvati cried. She ran over and hugged her fiercely, and Hermione complimented the other girls, who looked great in their own dresses.

"Ron is going to die," Lavender said with a mischievous expression on her face.

"Well, Ron and I are just going as friends," Hermione assured her.

"He agreed to that, but I think he'll regret that tonight," Ginny snickered, reaching out to soften Hermione's hair.

"I hope he doesn't," Hermione said with her head bowed. "I just don't feel that way about him."

"Too bad for him," Lavender commented, as they were all doing the finishing touches. Hermione fought with her hair endlessly, ended up sighing in despair.

"We'll do it for you," Ginny volunteered, and both she and Lavender took out their wands to make Hermione's hair do their biddings. She sighed greatly, wondering for the millionth time why it just wouldn't listen.

When she looked at herself in the mirror, her hair looked better than she ever thought it could have done. It was put up in a messy bun on her head, but long curls framed her face and also emitted from the bun at the back of her head. Sure, the other girls had nicer hairdos, but it was the most controlled she had actually seen her hair before.

"Thanks, you guys." She smiled, touching it delicately, almost refusing to believe how nice it looked compared to what she could do.

"You're welcome, sweetie," Lavender beamed. "Now let's go, we'll be late."

Hermione threw a quick look at the time, and couldn't quite believe they had spent all that time getting ready. She wondered how the Great Hall had turned out, feeling a bit bad for just running out on the guys. As the other girls began leaving, she followed them down the stairs, and noticed their dates waiting down in the common room. Dean was taking Lavender, while Seamus was taking Parvati. Harry looked stricken by the sight of Ginny as she walked up to him, and gave him a quick hug. She really did look ravishing in her emerald dress, Hermione acknowledged, as she walked up to Ron.

Ron looked a lot better in his suit than he had in his ridiculous dress robes, and Hermione gave him a quick peck on the cheek before smiling at him. He looked like someone had smacked him in the face, looking down at her with an absolutely baffled expression. Hermione heard Ginny laugh loudly at her brother's behaviour.

"Ron, be sure to keep your hands to yourself," Ginny reminded him in a teasing tone. "You're going as friends, remember?"

"Let's just get downstairs," Hermione said in exasperation at her friends teasing each other, and they all exited the common room together.

"Who's Neville going with, by the way?" she asked suddenly, looking around.

"Believe it or not, he's taking Luna." Ginny grinned, and Hermione smiled happily at her in slight disbelief.

"Really?"

"Yes, I think it's so cute." Ginny smiled.

"It took him several days to pick up the courage to ask her," Harry snickered. "He was pacing around the common room for hours on end."

"No matter how bad he was, he can't have been worse than Ron," Ginny cried and began laughing hysterically. "It's too embarrassing for me to even bring up around people."

Ron gave her a dirty look, and Hermione just shook her head, her arm hooked comfortably around his. The four couples rounded the last corner of the stair case, and was met with a sight not even Hermione and Ginny was prepared for.

"Oh my lord!" Hermione cried, and she looked at Ginny in utter shock.

The white and silver had looked good when they left, but now it looked beyond amazing. Silver ice crystals were enchanted and hung nicely on the white drapes they had put up, making the room sparkle. Hundreds of candles lit the room nicely, and the tables had been decorated with large crystal centre pieces with white and silver roses, making the look complete. The entire Great Hall sparkled like an ice castle, and Hermione found herself with her hand over her mouth.

"What on earth did he do after we left?" she cried in disbelief, and Ginny was taking it all in with wide eyes as well.

"This is incredible. I bet he sent us off to surprise us," she breathed, grabbing Harry's hand. "Come, let's find a table."

The four of them found a table together, and admired their surroundings in awe. Hermione couldn't believe Malfoy had done all this. He had told her to trust him, and at that moment she was incredibly happy she had. It couldn't have looked any better. She looked around to find him, but was interrupted by Ron, who asked her if the food would come soon.

"Ron, relax. There will be food once McGonagall has held her speech." Hermione smiled, and continued to look around the hall. She finally found him at a table on the other end of the large dance floor, which she noticed had been enchanted to a glowing white. He was sitting next to a beautiful girl with curly, black hair, and he was laughing with her just when Hermione found him among the other Slytherins. She tried to get his attention, but he wasn't looking in her direction.

She turned around in disappointment, and found Ron and Harry once again indulged in a Quidditch discussion. She rolled her eyes in disbelief, and begged for McGonagall to stand up soon, which she probably would, seeing as the Great Hall was quickly filling with beaming couples, and then those who went alone to keep their options open. Hermione caught Neville's eyes and she beamed at him and waved, and he smiled happily back at her, holding his arm securely around Luna. She felt a small stab in her chest at how pleased he looked, and wondered if that could have been her if things had been different.

"Will you two knock it off?" Ginny suddenly exclaimed. "It's the Yule Ball. Neither Hermione, nor myself, want to hear about Quidditch all evening."

"Oh God, thank you Ginny," Hermione breathed quickly, as she had wondered if it would ever stop. The two guys snapped their mouths shut at once, and looked completely embarrassed at this.

They were saved from having to think up anything new to talk about as McGonagall rose from her seat, and the buzzing from the hall ceased immediately.

"My dear students." She smiled. "You all look wonderful. We're celebrating the beginning of another holiday season with this marvellous Yule Ball. The staff hopes you will have fun, dance and eat well with your fellow students before travelling home to your respective families."

Everyone cheered at that, and she kept smiling as she looked at them all.

"As you all have noticed, the Great Hall has been tremendously transformed. This is thanks to our prefects who have been working all day, but even more so thanks to our Head Boy and Girl who have had the entire responsibility for the design and the execution. May I offer my gratitude for a job exceptionally well done," McGonagall said enthusiastically. "May Miss. Granger and Mr. Malfoy please stand up so we can acknowledge your wonderful work?"

Hermione blushed crimson, knowing she had played a part so tiny in this it wasn't even worth a pat on the shoulder, but she got up nonetheless, and accepted the applause from the Hall. As she stood there, she caught Malfoy's eyes and they locked for a moment. She smiled quickly, but he didn't quite return it. Sighing a bit, she returned to her seat just as McGonagall told them to dive in.

A delicious meal appeared on their plates, and everyone began eating hungrily as the conversations ran across the large hall. Hermione ate in silence, though, and she watched Ron as he concentrated immensely on his meal.

"Ron, why are you so quiet?" she asked softly, making sure not to spill anything on her dress.

"It's just… you look so…"

"I'm still Hermione. Remember? Your bossy, know-it-all best friend." She chuckled. "Just talk to me like you always do."

"I don't know if I can."

"Don't you go all lost on me, Ron," she chastised, giving him a stern look.

She tried desperately to keep the conversation going normally as their meal continued, but it continued to remain awkward, and she realised his feelings towards her had changed. It made her uncomfortable that he couldn't treat her as he normally did, and she found herself sighing in despair as she picked at her dessert.

"Look, I know I've been weird all evening," he suddenly said, and she looked at him with a pained expression. "But I promise I'm still myself. You just hit me kind of hard."

She laughed, and hit him playfully on the arm. "It's just a dress and a tiny bit of makeup, Ron. Tomorrow I'm just plain old Hermione."

"Well, I sure hope you aren't planning on wearing gowns on a daily basis," he said smartly.

"Oh no," she said in mock despair. "I was only going to bring my fancy dresses to the Burrow for Christmas."

They gave each other a relieved look, happy that their playful nature was back. The awkward tension had been more than just a little bit awkward. They smiled at each other as McGonagall again asked for their attention.

"I hope you all had a marvellous meal. I know I sure did," she said, and a murmur of confirmation ran through the crowd. "Now it's time for the evening to continue, and I will ask the Head Boy and Girl and their dates to come start the dance for us."

Hermione raised her eyebrows in surprise, and groaned inside; knowing Ron was anything but elegant. But everyone was eyeing them expectantly, and Malfoy and his date were already making their way to the dance floor. She sighed as she saw the elegant movements of the black haired beauty, but forced herself to ignore it, and held her hand out to Ron.

"I can't very well dance with myself," she said as he gave her a doubtful look. "Please."

He eventually rose awkwardly from his chair, and nearly tripped over the leg of it, but he got himself together and held out a hand for her. She grasped it gratefully and smiled reassuringly at him, before walking as gracefully as she could master onto the dance floor. The lights were dimmed, and she threw a quick look at Malfoy who was holding his date with ease, ready to start dancing. He looked just as amazing as she had imagined in a suit. It complimented is broad shoulders and tall figure perfectly, and the black, exquisite fabric contrasted beautifully with his blond hair. She sighed heavily at how good they looked together, and grasped Ron awkwardly in the position McGonagall had thought them years ago.

When the music began playing, the floor suddenly started to sparkle wonderfully and she gasped as Ron led her clumsily across the floor. Her lips parted at the beauty of the dance floor, and she heard all the girls squeal in surprise at the sight. She looked at Malfoy with wonder, and he suddenly met her gaze over the shoulders of his date. He locked his grey eyes with hers, and they kept their eyes fixed on each other as long as they could before they were moved from each other's view. They twirled around, and Hermione had to grab Ron several times to keep him from stumbling over her feet. She watched Malfoy again as he came into view, and she felt a jolt in her stomach at how they seemed to glide around the floor, while she and Ron had a hard time keeping on their feet.

Hermione let out a sigh of relief as the teachers joined them on the floor, hiding them from everyone's gaze. She still had a silly smile stuck on her face, and she let him move her along until the song ended.

"You know dancing isn't my thing," he apologised with a sad smile. "Can't we just sit down a bit?"

"Sure, Ron. I know this must have been difficult, but you did well," she assured him as they made their way back towards the table. Ginny and Harry darted past them just as they sat down, and Hermione watched with a pang of jealousy as Harry pressed Ginny close and swung her around with a sheepish grin on his face. Ginny beamed at him, and soon rested her head on his shoulder.

"They're so happy," Hermione smiled, sending Ron a pleased look.

"Yeah, I just hope he stops being such a git about her so called safety," Ron growled, surprising her immensely.

"I thought you would be the only one to agree with him," Hermione said with her eyebrow raised.

"It's idiotic. She's probably in more danger without him, to be honest. They already know he has feelings for her, so it won't make a difference if he keeps her away."

"I never knew you felt that way," Hermione said, looking at the couple as they danced all too slowly for the upbeat song. They looked amazing together.

"I can surprise," he said with a slight smile, and she nodded absently, catching herself in looking for Malfoy yet again.

"Want to dance?" someone said from behind her, and she turned around with a smile. She gave Ron a questioning look, and he waved her off.

"I don't care to dance, but you should." He grinned, finding some of their classmates sitting by another table.

"Thanks, I'd love to dance," Hermione beamed, and took Seamus' hand. He led her onto the dance floor, where they swung around laughing and talking.

She spent the evening dancing with her friends, several guys from the DA also wanting to dance with her. She had a fantastic time, knowing this was the last year she had with her friends. To make the best of it had become her newest goal as she rediscovered how great they truly were.

As the song stopped and Neville bowed formally to her, making her laugh, Harry cut in and swung her around in a grand gesture.

"You seem to be having a good time." He smiled as they moved among the other dancing couples.

"Oh, it's been great. I've been dancing around with all our male friends," she snickered, feeling so incredibly elegant as she swung across the sparkling floor.

"I've noticed."

"You seem to be having a nice time with Ginny," Hermione said, looking at her friend who was now sitting by the table talking to Ron, Dean and Lavender.

"Yeah, I forgot how much I love being around her. I miss her a lot," he said with his head slightly bowed.

"Both Ron and I think you're being silly," Hermione told him sternly. "You can't protect her by leaving her alone, and especially not since it's Ginny. You know her well enough to know she won't stay away for the world."

"I just can't have another person's death on my consciousness. I can't," he said in a pained voice.

"Harry, I'm going to level with you and say that I don't think you can avoid people dying in this war. But I also don't think you should think about this now," she said gently, and turned around to find Ginny bowing ridiculously beside her.

"May I cut in?" she asked, and Hermione nodded, about to let her have Harry, but Ginny pushed Harry out of the way and gripped Hermione's hands.

She laughed loudly, and the two girls danced across the floor, making several people grin amusedly at them.

"I know this is not socially acceptable, but I want to dance with my best friend, who looks ravishing today," Ginny said in an overly polite voice.

"It's a pleasure," Hermione replied, and they continued to joke around with each other.

Hermione soon noticed that several other girls followed their example, and danced around with their friends. Soon enough, the floor was covered in chuckling girl friends dancing with each other. Hermione and Ginny grinned and waved as they passed Lavender and Parvati, but both girls stopped in shock as they turned to their right.

Right beside them, Malfoy and Zabini were gliding elegantly along the floor together, and gave them aristocratic waves as they passed. The two girls burst out laughing, watching the two boys – obviously both skilled dancers – dance across the floor as if they were a royal couple. They came to a halt beside them and gave a quick bow, as Hermione and Ginny gave a short applause.

"Oh, I have to dance with a girl now, or my masculinity will be permanently damaged," Zabini cried and grabbed Ginny.

"I put you in the hospital wing mere weeks ago," Ginny said with her eyebrows raised.

"As long as you're female I wouldn't have cared even if you had shut me in Moaning Myrtle's, toilet giving me a slow and painful death by seduction from a ghost," he proclaimed, and she laughed as he pulled her away from Hermione.

Hermione turned slowly to Malfoy and gave him a weak smile. She knew as he stood there that she wanted nothing more at that moment than to dance with him, feel him move her gently across the floor with his arms around her. He was about to speak, when someone suddenly tugged him on the arm, and he turned away from her. Beside him stood the fair-skinned girl he had been dragging along all evening and Hermione felt the unfairness of the situation tear at her.

"Draco, come dance with me," the girl cooed, dragging at his arm impatiently.

"I thought I'd…"

"You've got to save me. Vincent is trying to make me dance with him," she cried, looking absolutely desperate.

"Saving you from Crabbe is quite the noble mission. Yes, I'll dance," he replied, and departed with a long look at Hermione.

She tried not to let the disappointment get to her as she walked slowly back to their table, where she found Ron in deep conversation with Lydia, a girl in Ginny's year. She sat down with them and chatted cheerfully for a while, before Ron asked Lydia to dance. Hermione looked after them with a smile, and then found herself sitting alone by the table. Looking around, she took a large sip of her punch before turning her attention to the beautiful centrepiece on the tables. Malfoy really had done a magnificent job with the place.

Ginny suddenly came up and dragged her away into a three-way dance with her and Harry and they shared the last dance of the evening, enjoying each other's company among the students with flushed cheeks and happy smiles. All of them were out on the dance floor now, even if not all of them danced in the traditional couple formation.

When the music stopped, students began piling out in smaller groups at a time, all seemed to be pleased with the Ball, at least that seemed to be the general opinion.

"Are you coming, Hermione?" Ginny asked as Harry dragged her towards the entrance.

"I'm going to stay behind and see if they need some help tidying up," Hermione called, and Ginny nodded with a smile before they disappeared.

Hermione looked around for Malfoy, hoping he too had thought of staying behind, but she couldn't see his blond head anywhere. She felt a bit disheartened that he didn't try harder to see her at all, but then again she had been the first to say they couldn't possibly go to the dance together.

She gave up on her search, and walked up to her Headmistress instead. McGonagall was ordered the teachers around, and she even saw House elves beginning to surface to clean up after the students.

"Oh, good evening, Ms. Granger," McGonagall smiled. "You look very nice tonight."

"Thank you, Professor." Hermione smiled. "I've had a fantastic time. I was just checking if you needed help getting the Great Hall back into shape again"

"Oh no, my dear. You did more than enough earlier today. The teachers and the elves are handling the aftermath," her professor promised and ushered her out of the Great Hall. Hermione sighed, not at all feeling like she wanted to go back to the common room and get out of her gorgeous dress.

Suddenly she felt someone tug at her dress, and looked down to find a tiny house elf wiggling its ears. It held out a little white note, and she took it with a distant look in her eyes.

"It was wedged under your plate, Miss."

Hermione looked at it, thinking it was empty, and wondered why the elf had bothered to give it back to her.

"Thank you," she smiled nonetheless, and the elf beamed as it disappeared back into the hall.

Hermione stared dumbfounded at the empty piece of paper, until ink suddenly appeared letter by letter across it. Her eyes grew wider and wider, and she clutched the note in her fist as she began darting up the staircase.

_Meet me on the roof._

She looked down on the white note again, and noticed that the letters had disappeared on their own after she had read it. Letting it fall carelessly to the floor, she ignored the angry shrieks of the portrait about littering and she ran as fast as her semi-high heels would let her.

She grew momentarily confused of the direction, as she had only been there once before. But she forced herself to calm down, and eventually reached a familiar hallway. She slowed down once she turned the corner and saw the window at the very end of it. Her steps echoed through the hallway, and competed with the sound of her pounding heart.

Soon, she reached the window, and climbed through it without even thinking twice. Comfortably warm air immediately swung towards her, and even if she was standing on the outside, it felt like a comfortable inside temperature. She looked down, but her shoes were standing steadily on a few inches of snow, making her certain it must have been a complicated heat charm. It was dark around her, and she looked around in slight alarm. Had she come too late? Had he gone back, grown tired of waiting for her to come?

The roof suddenly lit up as a small lantern glowed eerily near the edge of it. Hermione looked towards it, and found him standing tall, looking straight at her. Her face broke into a wide smile at the sight of his perfect features, his steel grey eyes that could convey so much more emotion than she could ever have guessed and the blond hair she loved to see out of place and unruly.

"May I have the last dance of the evening?" he asked, holding out his arms in the right position. A small wave of emotion swam through her, knowing this was what she had been wanting all evening. She put her right arm in his and her left hand up towards his shoulder as he gripped her around the waist. Hermione couldn't believe how well she fit against him. How it felt like she was made to slide against him to dance.

"There's no music, I'm afraid. I guess I could try to hum a bit, but I think you'd prefer no music," he said in amusement.

He began leading her carefully across the snow with strong arms, gliding and swirling in neatly planned movements. It felt just like she had imagined. It was as if she didn't even need to move her own feet, she only needed to hold on. She felt almost as if she was floating without touching the ground, and his firm arms lead her around the small roof elegantly. She more felt than saw him look at her, and she raised her head to meet his eyes. They were free of every ounce of mockery, arrogance and spite she had ever seen there before, and she met nothing but comfortable warmth and softness as she let herself drown in them.

He slowed their pace down gradually until they were moving in one spot, and he let go of her small hand to put both hands around her waist in a tight embrace. She rested her head against his chest and drew her breath shakily, wondering since when life had become so ironic. Why the one thing that couldn't be more wrong felt so right.

"Draco," she whispered, her voice becoming muffled by the fabric of his suit. He answered by running his hand over her back, and his fingers graced her exposed neck, sending small beams of heat all over.

"Did you like my surprise earlier?" he asked, and she felt his chest vibrate as he spoke.

"The Great Hall looked wonderful," she beamed. "I had no idea you were going to do that when we left."

"I made it for you," he said slowly. "Only for you. Even if I couldn't be the one to take you to it."

She raised her head from his chest and looked at him in disbelief. He had wanted just as badly to be there with her as she had wanted to be there with him, even if she hadn't quite acknowledged it.

"And then I saw you enter. You fit in perfectly, just like I imagined you would," he spoke, almost as if she wasn't there… almost as if he was talking to someone who hadn't been there at all. "You outshone anyone in the room. No one could compare to you in any way. And then that Weasel dragged you around the floor as if you were a bag of potatoes, when I wanted nothing more than to give you the moment you deserved."

"I've got it now." She smiled, overwhelmed by happiness at that second. The Yule Ball had been lovely and fun, but this was perfect.

"So, I'm a better dancer than Krum?" he asked, getting those cute wrinkles by his eyes as he laughed. She nodded breathlessly as a smile played on her own lips.

He looked down into her face and smiled gently, before stroking one of her curls away from her face. Her breath caught in her throat as he held his hand over her cheek, letting his thumb caress her cheekbone. His face came so close she could feel his breath tickle her lips and her chin long before she realised what was happening. She felt her heart pound uncomfortably in her chest. She wondered if he could feel it, when his body pushed against hers, and he let his lips grace her own. As he deepened the kiss almost desperately, she could feel her walls crumble inside her, letting every sensible thought she had ever possessed disappear from her mind. She only wanted to return what he gave her, and answered his tongue with the same hunger for real passion.

"Better kisser than Krum too," she said with a wink as their lips broke apart.

"I should hope so." He chuckled. "I would hate to think I make you shudder at the mere thought."

"Not in a bad way," she replied cheekily, and he gave her an appraising look. Their lips met again quickly before she wrapped herself out of his embrace and swung towards the window. He let go of her hand reluctantly, but she sat down on the sill looking at him with her head inclined.

"Aren't you coming back to the common room?"

"No," he replied with a sad smile. "I wouldn't want to ruin this fairytale by returning to everyday life just yet. Going back with you would only remind me what life is normally like."

She swung her legs over the sill, and stood safely on the hallway floor. "You're right. Good night, Draco."

"Good night, Hermione."

**A/N II:** I hope you all enjoyed this :D

And I have a treat for you all. There was a really cute graphic made, based on the ending of this chapter :D

http // www . deviantart . com / deviation / 53260559 /

I hope the link will show since I added spaces to it. So be sure to remove all the spaces after you copied the link :)

And thanks for all reviews, guys! You make my day!


	12. XI : Codename: Dancing Queen

**XI ; Codename: Dancing Queen**

She sat with her head leaned against the cool window in the compartment watching the snowy landscape roll by. Her parents were on a trip to the Swiss Alps, and she felt extremely happy at that moment not to be going with them. She smiled at Harry and Ginny sitting across from her, both of whom she would be spending her holiday with back at the Burrow.

"Last night was great," Ginny mused, as she rested her back against Harry's shoulder.

"Yes, it was really good," Hermione agreed, turning against Ron with a grateful smile. "Thanks for taking me."

"To be honest, I think most of the other Gryffindor guys gave you a better time than I did." He laughed. "I really am a shit dancer."

"There's no shame in having two left feet," she proclaimed, taking the Chocolate Frog he held out to her. She opened it carefully and held the frog down before it could leap away. The card was Dumbledore, and she smiled sadly at it, before putting it down on the table.

"That's rich coming from the ball's dancing queen," he commented, giving her a sideways glance. Hermione snickered, and immediately thought of the song. She began singing loudly, and Harry quickly joined in, both of them shrieking severely out of tune. Hermione darted up and began twirling around as she sang, doing the always lame disco moves all Muggles love to make fun of. The other three watched her in awe and laughed uncontrollably at the Head Girl shaking her stuff.

"Lovely, Granger. Very graceful," a familiar voice commented dryly from the door into the compartment. She stopped in the middle of a particularly silly movement and felt her cheeks heat up in embarrassment. A smirk played on his face and he was leaning against the compartment door with his hands crossed over his chest.

"In a good mood?" he suggested with a challenging arch of his eyebrow and she straightened up, running her hands over her robe to remove the creases.

"Delighted to not be sharing any rooms with you for a total of ten whooping days," she said in a cold voice, and his smirk grew larger.

"Ouch."

She raised her chin, looking defiantly at him, as she heard Harry and Ron snicker happily at her comment.

"We have to do the last rounds, Granger, in case you forgot," he reminded her, and she started in shock, looking at the watch.

"Oh, crap," she exclaimed and pushed him out the door in front of her. She shot an apologetic look at her friends, but they just gave her sympathetic grimaces before the compartment door fell shut.

She walked next to Malfoy in silence, glancing around for any sign of trouble. To be quite honest she was just enjoying the time she had with him, knowing they wouldn't see each other for another ten days. It was quite disheartening, even if she might not even acknowledge that for anyone else than herself.

"That was quite a show in there." He chuckled, eyeing her with a large grin on his face.

"I can't believe your timing," she groaned dramatically. "Didn't take me long to transfigure from fairytale princess to tacky disco queen."

"How do you know I don't have a fetish for tacky disco queens?" he asked in a humorous tone, and she gave him a nudge in the ribs in reply.

"Ten days," he said quietly as they turned at the far end of the train, heading back the same way they came. "Are you going home to your parents?"

She shook her head. "They're in Switzerland on a ski-trip. I'm going with Harry and the Weasleys to The Burrow."

"I'm going back to Malfoy Manor to remind myself how bad my father really can be," he said in a sudden brisk tone, not meeting her eyes.

She felt a surge of sympathy for him, and suddenly wished he could come with them. The thought almost made her laugh.

"I would invite you with me to the Burrow, but…"

"But you'd rather have me alive?" he suggested, and she chuckled.

"Something like that, yeah,"

"Merry Christmas," he said as they neared her compartment again.

"Merry Christmas." She smiled, and thought of the present she had hidden under two of his sweaters in his suitcase that very morning. She watched him walk away for a few seconds, before slipping back into the compartment.

She sat down by the window again, feeling suddenly less upbeat than she had only moments before.

* * *

The four of them piled into the kitchen at The Burrow after being picked up by Arthur at the train station. He had nudged them into the kitchens, and told them that he would take care of their bags for them. They smiled gratefully, all of them beginning to get rather hungry, even if they had gone mad on the Chocolate Frogs on the train. Molly Weasley was standing with her back to them preparing a large dinner, but the table erupted in cheers as they entered.

"Welcome back," Bill chanted from the end of the table, beaming at them. All the other Weasleys cried their greetings, and Hermione smiled and greeted all of them, wondering when she had started feeling more at home here than at her own place.

"Children," Molly cried as she wheeled around. "So good to see you!"  
She embraced her two kids on a tight hug, rocking them back and forth until Ron began gasping for breath. When she let go both Ron and Ginny looked suspiciously pale. Harry and Hermione grinned at each other just before Mrs. Weasley darted forwards and sent them too into a bone crushing hug.

"Harry and Hermione," she said in a shaky voice. "So wonderful to have you back in our house again."

"We're so happy to be here," Hermione assured her as she pat her back. "Thanks for having us."

"Oh, it's our pleasure, darling. Now, go sit down. Dinner is ready in a moment," Molly ushered, and Hermione took a seat opposite Harry, finding none other than Fred (or George, who really knew?) Weasley seated next to her.

Fred conducted a silly bow towards her, and she snickered involuntarily. "Our salute to the Head Girl."

She waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, Head Girl duties are no match."

"No, but sharing a dormitory with the foulest of the foul certainly is," George piped in, his face screwed up in a horrified expression.

"I can't believe you actually have to share a common room with Malfoy," Charlie said, shaking his head. "No one should have to be that unlucky."

She watched them in silence, an odd feeling spreading out in her stomach. Never before had she felt distanced from these people. She had always shared their values, their beliefs, but she knew they would never agree on Draco Malfoy. Would they still care about her if they knew what she felt? If they knew of whatever it was she had with Malfoy? She wasn't entirely sure what it was, but whatever it was, it couldn't be good news for the Weasleys.

"It's not as bad as I thought it would be," she confessed reluctantly, and they all eyed her in shock. "Being hateful all the time takes its toll, so we've slowly begun being civil for our own sakes."

"Good for you, Hermione," Molly said from the counter. "Dealing with this in a mature way."

"It's more of a defence mechanism, I suppose." Hermione shrugged as the younger Weasleys still didn't reply.

"He made us Hot Chocolate when we visited," Ginny confessed.

"You're joking," Charlie exclaimed with wide eyes, and for once Fred and George just sat there.

"I wish she was." Ron sighed. "I thought it was poisoned but Hermione made me drink it."

"And yet, here you are... very much alive," she commented, giving him a challenging look.

He snapped his mouth shut at that, before wheeling around to give Ginny a non-verbal warning. She threw her hands innocently up in the air, but Hermione definitely saw a glimmer of mischief in her eyes. She had a feeling Fred and George would mysteriously find out over the holidays.

Hermione really didn't want to talk about Malfoy, and especially not the way the Weasleys wanted to. She didn't feel comfortable talking about him behind his back like she always used to, but still everyone would expect her to still hate him. Wow, when had she even stopped hating him? The past five months seemed to be a blur of emotions, and mostly it seemed to be a lot of confusion. Moments of intense hate, others of intense pleasure, more of comfortable chatter and several of intelligent fulfilment. Still, there was no one word to explain what she felt about him. He wasn't an enemy anymore. He wasn't a boyfriend. And he was a kind of friend, or companion, but was he _jus_t a friend of companion? The night of the Yule Ball would suggest otherwise. And when she caught herself wishing the Weasleys, who she counted as family, could see him the way she did... what did it all mean?

"Hermione? Hermione! Hermione Granger. Have you travelled to another planet?"

The last few words were nearly screamed in her ear by Fred, and she jumped a mile in her chair, noticing that while she had been so wrapped in thought she hadn't sensed a thing around her, Arthur and Molly had both sat down and dinner had been served. Harry was holding out a plate of steak for her, looking at her rather questioningly. She soon realised everyone's eyes were on her, and she felt immediately uncomfortable at what she had been thinking about while they had tried to reach her. She blushed slightly, and took the plate from Harry with a barely notable 'thank you'.

She followed the conversation around the table, and contributed with a few sentences here and there, but her head felt like it was in a completely different place. Was this really what the entire Holidays would be like? She felt like hitting her head on the table so hard every thought would spill out and leave it empty. Or maybe a concentration charm would help. Or maybe just a nap.

"Hermione, you don't look so good, my dear," Molly said worryingly, and put a hand over her forehead as she passed by. "No fever, but you look pale."

"I'm fine," Hermione protested, but Molly waved her off.

"Go upstairs, my dear. I will bring you a nice cup of tea in a minute."

Molly ushered her up from the table, and Hermione saw no other option than to walk up the stairs, leaving all the Weasleys still by the kitchen table. She felt bad to leave them there. These were the people she cared about, and yet she was pushing them away. Okay, so she didn't feel her best, but she wasn't too sure she was actually physically ill.

Nevertheless, she buried herself under the blankets on the bed she always lay in when she was at The Burrow, sharing the room with Ginny as usual. Feeling exhausted and almost a bit empty, she fell asleep immediately.

* * *

"Go, Ginny. You can do it, Ginny," Hermione bellowed as she sat on the snow-covered ground outside the Burrow. Before her eyes a fierce Quidditch match was being played. The supposedly traditional Christmas Eve Quidditch match, which took place before Christmas Eve dinner.

Hermione reached her hands over her head and whooped as Ginny scored and cried in joy, high five-ing her fellow chaser, Bill.

"Why on earth are you cheering against me?" Ron cried indignantly, sourly picking up the Quaffle after having missed Ginny's shot by a large margin.

"Ginny and I are the only girls for miles, except Molly, now that Fleur is in France for the Holidays. I shall not betray her trust," Hermione proclaimed, standing up and held a hand over her chest.

Ginny chuckled and continued flying across the homemade pitch with great speed. Hermione kept cheering and clapping, even if she lacked the understanding and enthusiasm it usually required. She was beginning to freeze rather badly, though, and even felt a surge of relief as Molly called her name and asked if she felt like helping with dinner. Hermione excused herself, but the others did not seem to mind much at all. She rose stiffly from the ground and headed inside to the warmth of the kitchens and Molly's comforting presence.

As the heat hit against her, she let her breath out in relief, and knew she looked completely red and frostbitten. Her nose and cheeks felt stiff with cold, and she put her gloves and hats on the shelves and hung up her cloak before joining the Weasley mother in the kitchens.

"What can I do?" Hermione smiled as she entered, rubbing her cold hands against each other.

"Ah, there you are. Would you chop the carrots?" Molly suggested.

Hermione took her place next to her by the counter and began chopping the carrots the Muggle way, making the older lady send her a quizzical look.

"I like it better this way," Hermione explained. "Reminds me of simpler times."

"You have seemed a bit out of balance since you got here," Molly said quietly. "A bit more quiet than you usually are, if I may say so."

Hermione chuckled a bit. "I usually am quite loud, aren't I?"

"Which is why we love you so dearly," Molly said quickly, with a smile in her direction. "And we don't want you to change."

"I just feel a bit overwhelmed by things lately," Hermione said, picking her words carefully. "Things are so complicated now. The war separates us when we should be united. And neither side is willing to budge."

"I can't really imagine you're this worried about the war as a whole," Molly commented, and quickly continued when she saw Hermione's confused expression. "The war is a heavy burden on us all, but it's too overwhelming to sink in, I believe. Not even Harry seems to be able to take in the seriousness of it just now."

"You're right. The war seems to be far away, but the conflicts between the two sides affects us all the time," she mused, cutting fiercely against the chopping block.

"Is that what's been bothering you?"

"I have a lot on my mind," Hermione simply said, afraid to say too much.

"Then maybe it would help to get it off your mind," Molly said smartly without looking at the girl next to her.

Hermione gave her a long look, wondering how much she could gather from a few sentences. And how on earth she should word something when she didn't even know how to structure her own thoughts.

"It's confusing to be almost taught to hate someone, and then find out you just can't hate them. It's how it's supposed to be, but it doesn't feel right." Hermione sighed. "You get to know them, and you realise they're like you in so many ways. They've just been brought up differently, with different beliefs and values."

Molly let her speak. She didn't say anything, or even look at her; she kept preparing the meal and let Hermione speak undisturbed.

"It's so easy to hate an image, you know? That image you see once in a while, the one dimensional image you haven't even questioned at all before. And then you're forced to see the bigger picture, the layers, the depths. You're forced to realise these images are people like yourself and your friends. But you're still supposed to hate and badmouth."

Hermione found herself saying too much, but at that point she didn't care. It was just such a relief to get it out, to let it all seep through her facade.

"To hate someone you don't know is easy. Anyone can do it. But, Molly... I can't hate someone I've gotten to know. Someone who shares my favourite book and writes a journal and talks to me about issues in society and makes me breakfast when I oversleep. But no one understands. Everyone sees the image, the person on the wrong side."

She suddenly found herself in tears, and cursed her own weakness. Letting the knife down for a moment she dried them furiously and began chopping violently. She found herself blinded by tears again, and she threw the knife across the chopping block and hid her face in her hands. Within seconds she felt Molly's hands around her, comforting her with soothing sounds and a warm embrace.

"Molly, I can't hate someone who's become my friend," she said, horrified by her own confession. Her tears ran freely, but she tried her best to get herself together under Molly's tight embrace.

"Hermione, listen to me," she suddenly said, forcing Hermione to look at her. "You are not obliged to hate anyone. If anyone tries to tell you otherwise, you should shut them up immediately. What you have just told me is the most sensible thing I have heard from anyone since this ridiculous war began."

Hermione dried her eyes, stifling a sob with great difficulty.

"You children are the generation who suffers perhaps the most. You grew up in between two wars, divided into sides by your parents who can't let go of grudges, however good reasons they have to keep them, but that doesn't make it right. You suffer for actions committed by others than your own, and listening to you speak now makes me more determined than ever to end this whole ordeal. Maybe then we can all move on with our lives and let go of old grudges once and for all."

Hermione nodded quietly, embarrassed by her outburst, though she knew it was probably long overdue.

"Thanks for listening to me," she said with a weak smile, as she turned back to continue the preparation for the grand meal.

"Any time, my love."

"And could you please.. just.. don't tell anyone? They wouldn't understand. At least not now." Hermione sighed, wondering when life became so complicated.

"Are you sure you aren't underestimating them?"

"Maybe I am. But I know it will get worse before it gets better if I try to lecture them on this particular subject. And I don't think I'm up for worse just now," Hermione admitted, and glanced around just as the entire troop piled in the door talking loudly about the match they had just played.

Hermione gave Molly a quick smile just as Ginny came darting up with rosy cheeks and a big grin on her face.

"We won, Hermione," she beamed, throwing her arms happily around her friend.

Hermione laughed and returned the hug with a slight suspicion that Harry might have something to do with Ginny's sparkling eyes.

"Hermione dear, why don't you go freshen up a bit for dinner. After all, you still don't feel too good," Mrs. Weasley said, and Hermione knew it was a hint. She grew aware that the tears might be a bit too visible.

Hermione gave her a grateful glance, and headed up to the room she shared with the happily in love Weasley, and went straight to the mirror on the wall. She grimaced at her puffy eyes, and gave herself a few spells to look normal again. She also added a tiny bit of make up for the hell of it, and turned around to her suitcase to change into something nicer. Her eyes fell on a sudden movement and she yelped in surprise. Outside the window sat a black owl with golden brown specks on her chest.

"Camy," Hermione breathed as she opened the window and let the large owl inside. She stroked it gently, almost a bit shocked by this. How on earth was she going to explain the large owl sitting in their bedroom?

The owl hooted impatiently, and Hermione relieved her of the parchment she had carried across a — Hermione presumed — large distance. She unrolled it careful movements, and broke into a large smile.

_Dear Dancing Queen. _

_  
I had sworn to myself that I wouldn't write because of the risks, but after not being able to get the letter off my mind, I decided to take the risk after all. It is enchanted to be read by you only, but in case the spell fails somehow I will keep sensitive information at a low._

_As for who sent you this. I am a boy you met last summer at home. I am a wizard, but I chose to attend a Muggle school because I'm weird like that. My magical mother home schooled me on magical issues, and I've been stalking you pretty much all summer._

_Alternative personalities. How exciting. Definitely more exciting than what I'm doing here. Every day consists of listening to my father drone on and on about the same old things, while my mother takes her usual position of nods and smiles. It makes my future after Hogwarts look pretty grim, if I may say so. There are no intellectual conversations, no challenging arguments and no real people._

_Look at me being depressing. How sweet of me._

_I know you're surrounded by Weasleys, so this letter is probably suicide on my part. I don't really know if you share a room with someone either. This was probably a bad idea, but I have a secret, you see... I can't keep away from you, for some reason. You make life less boring, Dancing Queen. You really do._

_I noticed the present you slipped into my suitcase. You know how to play dirty, I see. You really shouldn't have, but thank you anyway._

_Have a great Christmas, Dancing Queen. Even if it's with the Weasleys. But what do I know? Maybe it'll be great because of the Weasleys._

_Sincerely,  
Roof Man_

Hermione stared at the letter in disbelief. She hardly believed it was real at all. But she was holding it in her hand, and it made her smile widely. The talk with Mrs. Weasley had helped her immensely, and this just added to the feeling of relief. She put it carefully into the drawer of the nightstand, wondering when she would have the time to write back. She couldn't send Camy back empty handed, that would seem like a rejection of some sort.

She thought about her reply as she went through her suitcase and found a nice pair of black pants and a nice shirt she never used for every day events. But as she moved the dress she had packed for Christmas day, a small, wrapped box fell out onto her bed. She looked at it in puzzlement before reading the small piece of parchment attached to it.

_Merry Christmas  
D_

She gave a disbelieving laugh. He had done just the same as she had. The sneaky little bastard. She tucked the present carefully back under a few sweaters and decided to open it sometime on her own.

Just as she was about to change into nicer clothes, the door opened and Ginny came darting through.

"Dinner is ready in a few minutes. We don't have much time to beautify ourselves," Ginny announced, quickly running through the garments in her wardrobe.

"I don't need much time," Hermione smiled, changing into her black pants and 'more than daily wear' shirt.

Ginny turned around to give her a grin, but suddenly stopped mid-movement.

"What the..."

Hermione turned in confusion, and found Camy sitting calmly on the window sill with her head slightly inclined at the two girls.

"Oh," she said, forcing herself to stay calm. "That's Camy. Isn't she adorable?"

"She's beautiful, but what on earth is she doing here?"

"It's this guy's owl. Long story," Hermione said quickly, trying desperately to remember the cover story Malfoy had typed up.

"And I'd like to hear it," Ginny said with her eyebrow raised before she bowed over to get dressed.

"It's just this guy I met at home over the summer. He's been kind of preoccupied with me ever since," Hermione shrugged.

"Wow, I'm intrigued!" Ginny said, still focusing on getting ready. Hermione swallowed at that, not sure if she wanted Ginny to be intrigued.

"You met a wizard around your neighbourhood? Does he go to Hogwarts?"

"I was shocked to find out he was a wizard. I think he might have moved there recently, cause I can't remember seeing him much before. And no, he doesn't go to Hogwarts," Hermione answered, trying to set herself into the situation of suddenly encountering a wizard in her own neighbourhood. The thought was entirely absurd.

"Oh, why not?"

"He wanted to go to Muggle school. I don't really know why, but it's his choice in the end, right? His mother taught him all the magical stuff at home,"

"Do you like him? Are you dating? Is he cute?"

Hermione found herself sweating under the third degree, finding it easier to stay as close to the truth as possible.

"Erm, it's complicated. I don't really know if I like him or not, it's all really weird right now. We're not dating, but he's quite handsome, if I might say so,"

"Have you kissed?"

She swallowed heavily at that, and moved towards the door as she waited for Ginny to finish up by the mirror.

"Erm, yes. But like I said, it's really complicated,"

"I don't really see how it can be that complicated," Ginny commented as they both exited their room.

"The long-distance thing for one. And he's a bit... complex,"

"Was he a good kisser at least?" Ginny winked, turning the corner by the stairs.

"That is none of your business young lady," Hermione said in a stern voice, and tried to not think of the night on the roof.

"Oh come on," Ginny begged, laughing at Hermione's sour expression as they reached the foot of the stairs. They both paused before entering the buzzing kitchen, and Hermione sighed heavily.

"Yes. Yes he was."

* * *

**A/N:**Thank you all SOOO much for all your reviews from the last chapter. I'm beginning to update pretty frequently, cause I'm getting a bit impatient about getting this thing out there now. There's still 19 chapters left, so we're not even half way there yet :O

Love you all for bothering to read this thing!


	13. XII : The Gift of Loyalty

**Disclaimer:** err, I'm getting a bit fed up with these disclaimers. Should be a no-brainer to get shouldn't it? IT ARE NOT MYNE! (sorry, been watching too much LOLcat pics :( )

**A/N:** I don't think I've mentioned this before, but the title of this fic is the first line of Joshua Radin's _What if You_. A marvellous song if I may say so.

* * *

**XII ; The Gift of Loyalty**

After a wonderful Christmas dinner last night, entertaining as it always is with the Weasleys, Hermione woke up the following morning with Ginny jumping up and down beside her bed.

"Hermione, come on. It's Christmas day!" Ginny cried, tripping impatiently.

"Oh God, it's like six AM. Are you crazy?"

"I already heard Fred and George pass by here. Come on, let's just go down. No need getting dressed, we're all running down in our pyjamas," Ginny said, waving her hand dismissively at Hermione's suitcase.

"Just go downstairs. You're practically bouncing." Hermione laughed. "I'll be right down"

"Oh alright. But you better be down in five minutes or I am coming to get you," Ginny threatened before practically jumping out the door and slamming it behind her with a rather loud thud.

Hermione swung her legs over the edge of her bed and dove straight into her suitcase. Ginny's reminder that it was Christmas day had peaked her curiosity immensely, and she dug around until her fingers graced the smooth wrapping paper. She held it up, looking at it from every angle and shook it a bit, wondering what it could be.

After a moment of pondering she slowly unwrapped the beautiful deep scarlet paper from the box, which was plain black, and rather light. As she opened the lid her mouth fell open in amazement at the wonderful necklace inside. It had a long silver chain with a silver ornament attached at the end, decorated with a fantastic green stone. The green was unlike anything Hermione had ever seen. It was deep, almost forest green, but it seemed to have a strange undertone of blue, showing in a way only magic could manage. It was, without a doubt, a magical stone. Hermione let her finger run across it and she smiled widely. With slightly trembling fingers she opened the locket and closed it around her neck. She looked at it in awe as it rested against her skin. It seemed to be glowing now, in an eerie green tinged with a blue glow.

She started in shock as she heard Harry and Ron pass outside their door, and she remembered her promise to Ginny about joining the others downstairs. Giving herself a quick look in the mirror, quickly noticing the stupid grin on her face, she tucked the necklace underneath her pyjama shirt and went out in the deserted hallway to join the others downstairs.

Hermione found all the Weasleys waiting impatiently by the large Christmas tree in their charming living room. They all seemed to be there now, and she felt bad for letting them wait.

"Finally, Hermione!" Ginny laughed. "You're such a sleepy head, you know."

"Yes, I've got to admit that," Hermione said quickly, feeling the cool necklace against her skin.

Soon, the entire living room was a chaos beyond words as everyone ripped open their presents and squealed in joy or thanked politely. Either way worked nicely. Ginny loved the bracelet Hermione had gotten her, and both Ron and Harry were severely surprised that she had actually gotten them something they wanted and not a homework planner that they would never use. She had given up on them years ago, but perhaps they hadn't realised that.

Hermione herself received several books, a wonderful new set of quills and school supplies she had been running low of. She grinned happily at the catch as everyone hugged each other wishing everyone a merry Christmas. She looked happily around at the large family, feeling like they were the people she belonged with. Sure, she loved her parents to death, but the Weasleys were something special to her. With a small twinge she realised everyone expected her to marry into this family and she would love nothing more than to be a real part of it, but deep down she knew it wouldn't happen. Ron wasn't the one for her, and she couldn't exactly see herself with one of the other Weasleys either, no matter how much she loved them.

She put the disturbing thoughts aside and gave both Mr. And Mrs. Weasley warm hugs.

"Do you feel better, my dear?" Molly whispered as she drew her into her hug.

"Yes, I do. Thank you for letting me talk about it. It really helped."

And she knew it had. She had felt relieved ever since yesterday, no longer feeling like everything was bottled up in this secret place that no one could reach. And she trusted Molly. She really did.

Hermione sat down to join Ginny, Harry and Ron by the fireplace where they were all admiring their presents. Ginny was still giddy about the earrings Harry had given her, and she was smiling so widely at him that Hermione wondered if she wouldn't be in pain soon from the muscle strain. Hermione gave them an affectionate glance, hoping she would feel like that about someone someday. They were lucky to have each other, that was for sure. She leaned in to look at the strange artefact Ron had received from Fred and George, and suddenly heard Ginny gasp from beside her.

"Wow, Hermione. That necklace is gorgeous," she exclaimed, looking transfixed at it. Hermione felt a surge of dread in her stomach, as she realised her necklace had slipped out over the neckline of her shirt and that everyone in the room was eyeing it now.

"Oh yes. It's wonderful, isn't it?" she squeaked, and cleared her throat as she straightened back up.

"Who gave it to you?" Harry asked, inclining his head looking at the unusual necklace.

"Erm... L... Liam"

"Oh, the guy from home?" Ginny asked in excitement, and everyone's heads darted up. Hermione blushed crimson, and wondered how intricate this lie would turn out to be.

"What guy from home?" Ron asked in suspicion, and his sister turned towards him with an eager expression.

"Hermione met a guy back home this summer. He seems to really like her, judging by that Christmas gift anyway." Ginny smiled, lifting her eyebrow at her brother.

"My dear…" Mrs. Weasley suddenly said and sat down next to her. Hermione looked at her in surprise as the older lady took the ornament on the necklace gently in her hands. "That's an Antigo."

It was evident that this was supposed to raise a rather extraordinary reaction from them, but everyone in the room just looked at her quizzically, wondering what she was on about. Even Hermione had no clue what she was talking about. She couldn't even remember having read the name at all.

"An Antigo is an ancient, magical stone. Very magical stone. It's extremely rare, and it has strong powers."

"Powers?" Hermione asked in slight alarm, hoping it wasn't some dark art artefact. That would really give the game away, or they would just end up hating the imaginary Liam as much as they hated the real giver.

"The Antigo represents protection and loyalty. Using the Antigo in jewellery has been done almost since the beginning of time because of the extraordinary powers of protection it holds," Molly told her. "But more than anything, the Antigo is used as a promise stone."

Hermione's head swirled with new information. Protection? Loyalty? Promises?

"When the Antigo is given as a gift, such as now, it's an unbreakable promise of undying protection and loyalty, even beyond the grave."

"Undying?" Hermione yelped, looking around at the stricken faces that were facing her. Ginny looked more shocked than any, and Hermione couldn't blame her. She had given the impression that what was between… Liam… and herself was nothing big. She had said she didn't know if she liked him, and undying protection and loyalty did seem a bit grand for that particular situation.

"Yes, my dear."

"You mean... that by giving me this necklace, Liam has made an unbreakable promise to give me eternal protection and loyalty?" she asked, completely overwhelmed by the entire situation.

"The promise is what makes the stone glow so strongly. In fact, the connection of the two people determines how strong the glow. And that is one of the most vibrant Antigo's I've seen to this day," Molly told her in a soothing voice, keeping a hand on Hermione's shoulder.

"Have you seen many?" Hermione asked in puzzlement. Molly had said they were extremely rare.

"In my younger days I researched magical stones a great deal, and the Antigo was what intrigued me the most. It is a very fascinating stone, especially because of the bond it requires between two people. Some people give them away on a whim, they have them, or require them more easily then they perhaps should, and give them away to someone they don't have a connection with. The stone will not be as powerful at that. It will not glow like yours does, Hermione."

"What exactly are you saying?" Hermione swallowed, feeling frightened by the turn of events. This was turning way more intense than she thought possible. Only days, hours ago she had been wondering what Draco had become for her, and now this stone was about to define it for her. Or so it felt. But did it really tell her something she didn't already know? She had known for a while they shared something she couldn't quite define, and the stone seemed to symbolize that in an odd way.

"Sweetie, for this stone to act as it does right now, Liam has to care deeply for you, but it also reveals that you care deeply for him. Perhaps more so than you think," Molly said softly, ignoring her children soaking in every word. "And this doesn't necessarily mean romantic feelings. We can care deeply for our friends and our family, just as we can for the people we connect with romantically."

Hermione looked down at the stone that hung against her chest, taking in the fascinating beauty that seemed to go into different layers into the stone. It felt like she could wander into it and never really find the end.

"Well that settles it," Charlie suddenly said. "We will all have to meet this Liam and make sure he treats you right. No one mistreats our Hermione."

All the guys murmured their agreement, and Hermione blushed, wondering how on earth she was supposed to get out of that one. There was no Liam. Would they care like this if they knew who Liam really was? The thought pained her, and she grasped for the necklace without really realising it.

"I think that's enough prying in Hermione's personal life," Molly stated dryly. "Everyone go put some decent clothes on."

Hermione laughed stiffly, and followed the Weasleys who were piling out of the living room to follow their mother's command. She found herself deep in thought, wondering how on earth this would turn out. Could there ever be a happy ending to anything like this? Could the people she loved ever accept the one person who had vowed eternal loyalty to her?

She suddenly felt a hand around her shoulders and she turned around to meet Harry's emerald eyes. She smiled at him, and linked her arm around his waist as the walked up the stairs together.

"Are you alright?" he asked in concern as he eyed her carefully.

Hermione sighed slightly. "I'm okay. It's just so overwhelming. I don't know what to make of this."

"Do you trust this guy? Like him?"

"That's the problem, I suppose. Everything is so complicated." Hermione sighed. "I do think I trust him, but I think we have more of a deep friendship than anything else. I don't really know what to think anymore."

"You know we're here for you, and we'll help you if you need it," Harry said, and gave her a quick hug when they reached her bedroom door.

"I know," she replied with a weak smile, but knew deep down she wasn't so sure they would all be by her side if the truth ever came out. She knew she didn't want it to get out. It would make everything so much harder to deal with, at least as she felt right now.

She found Ginny sitting on her bed with an eager expression, surely waiting on the details from Hermione, and she found herself panicking slightly. Oh god, since when did this become so incredibly complicated?

"You told me you weren't even sure you liked him," Ginny said accusingly, just as Hermione watched Camy with a hesitant expression.

"I don't know if I do. It's all so complicated."

"That stone states otherwise," Ginny said with a raised eyebrow.

"Your mother said it didn't necessarily have to represent romantic feelings. And we have developed a very strong friendship, I suppose," Hermione mused. "I guess I just never realised how strong."

"This is incredible either way. I mean, a promise of eternal loyalty and protection? That's intense!"

"I know," Hermione said with an apprehensive expression. "I just hope he knows he did it."

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked in surprise, getting comfortable on her bed.

"What if he just bought the necklace cause it looked nice, and now he's stuck with me for life… no wait… for eternity," Hermione said, letting the feeling of eternity sink in.

"I doubt anyone would sell a stone like that without being aware of what it was and how it works," Ginny said doubtfully.

Hermione nodded, knowing she was right. He must definitely have known, which made her wonder what on earth he was thinking. Was he really planning to be loyal to her for ever? Not that it seemed he had a choice now. Where did that leave her?

"What are you going to say to him?"

"Say to him?"

"You have to write him when you send the owl back, and you obviously have to mention the necklace," Ginny said, nodding towards the sleeping Camy.

Hermione sat down on the bed with a sigh, knowing she couldn't possibly put down all her feelings, worries and questions in a letter than someone could easily intercept. It would have to wait, but she would still have to write him. Sighing heavily, she fell back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling with a strong feeling of dread.

* * *

The rest of the holidays went by extremely fast. Hermione sent the owl back to Draco, thanking him for the necklace, but not revealing how much she really knew about the gift. She managed to put her worries at the back of her head and had a great time with the Weasleys, including a wonderful New Years Eve with a great fireworks display from Fred and George. Hermione still smiled from the memory of Harry kissing Ginny passionately in front of the entire family at midnight, leaving some applause and some downright shock. 

She glanced at Ron, who was sitting beside her in the compartment on the train as they were heading back to Hogwarts. He wore a sour grimace, and Hermione snickered at the memory of when Ginny had told Fred and George how Draco had to help him ask her to the Ball. Poor Ron had been badgered for the rest of the holiday, and had still not quite forgiven his sister for telling.

Hermione was trying to soften him up just as the train pulled up at the end station, and she gave up on him, sending Ginny an apologetic look. Ginny just smiled and shrugged, and followed her friends out of the train. They all followed each other into one of the carriages pulled by the Thestrals, none of them except Harry could actually see. And Draco, she reminded herself, knowing he had watched Dumbledore die last year. She shivered at the thought, but put it at the back of her head.

Right now she just longed to see him, wondering why he hadn't been on the train. She hoped he had just gotten there early. If he wasn't coming back today at all, she would be severely frustrated. So many things swirled around in her head. Things she couldn't put down in a letter.

"It's good to be back. Holidays are always good, but Hogwarts is Hogwarts." Harry smiled, and Hermione nodded absently.

"It sure is." She grinned, taking in the large stone castle coming into view at the top of the hill.

Soon enough, the carriages pulled up by the castle, and Hermione jumped out and went around the back to get her trunk out. She levitated the heavy trunk of belongs behind her, following her friends up towards the entrance.

"Want to come up to the common room?" Ginny asked, as she held the door open for the other three.

"Sorry, I really have to unpack or it'll just nag me for the entire night." Hermione sighed, knowing that wasn't entirely true. All she wanted was to get back to the common room. She felt the necklace rest against her skin, underneath all her clothing. She hardly ever wore it on the outside of her clothes, but hid it underneath them instead.

She waved goodbye to the three Gryffindors and climbed the staircase to the right that she would take her to her all familiar common room. Struggling slightly with her trunk, she managed to get in through the open portrait and lowered her trunk to the floor right inside. She bent down and pushed it away from the opening, and straightened up again, brushing her hair gently out of her face. As she turned around she broke into a wide smile when she saw his tall figure hunched against the back of their sofa. He stood watching her with a smile playing on his lips, and straightened up when their eyes met. Not really caring about any of the events over the holidays, she gave into the pleasure of seeing him again, and darted forwards to embrace him in a hug. She wrapped her hands around his neck and hugged him fiercely, and he returned it with a small chuckle.

"Ten days," he said close to her ear. "Who knew they could be so long."

"So you didn't have a good time?" she asked as she let him go, and pushed him around the sofa to sit down.

"The Malfoy Manor is rarely a place for 'good times'," he commented dryly, as he took a seat in the corner of the sofa, against the grand, comfortable pillows.

"Not even a little bit?" Hermione asked, feeling sorry for him as he sat there confessing he had a miserable time.

"Well there's good food. And heaps of expensive presents." He shrugged.

Her eyes softened as she looked at his face, clearly trying to smooth over something or another.

"Don't you dare feel sorry for me," he chastised, pointing a finger at her. "How was your holiday?"

"It was... great," she confessed. "The Burrow is never boring."

"Never?" he asked in disbelief, pulling one of his legs up underneath him.

"Never," she confirmed with a slight chuckle. "There are 6 Weasley children. Well technically seven, but the last one is... just not around all that much. And then there's Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, plus Harry and me. Together they can pull off a Quidditch match in their backyard."

"Wow, can't be much private time," he commented, smiling weakly.

"You have that right... which brings me to the next issue," she said, feeling a bit uncomfortable. "The entire Weasley family and Harry now thinks I've been having a secret affair with a Liam from home, who attends Muggle school and gets home schooled by his mother on magic"

"Oh." He chuckled, looking a bit amused. "The entire house managed to find out I sent you a letter?"

"No, that was just Ginny, whose room I stay in when I'm there," she said, dreading what came next. "I had to explain the necklace somehow. Since it managed to find its way outside the shirt in the midst of the entire Weasley family."

"I'm sorry," he exclaimed quickly, but seemed more amused than anything. "That must have been kind of rough."

"You have no clue," she stated dryly, wondering when it was the right time to tell him that Mrs. Weasley was a magical stone expert.

"Thanks for the watch, by the way," he beamed, pulling up his sleeve. "It's perfect."

She blushed slightly, surprised that he had bothered to wear it.

"Oh, you didn't need to use it." She shrugged. "I'm sure you have a dozens of nicer ones."

He gave her a puzzled expression. "No, it's perfect. It's entirely my style. Plus it means more to me than any of the other ones I've ever gotten."

"I'm glad." She smiled.

Hermione looked away for a moment, and knew the easiest thing was to dive right in.

"The necklace is gorgeous." She smiled. "Thank you."

He beamed at her, and she felt uncomfortable for the conversation she would have to take.

"You know how they think Liam gave me the necklace?"

He nodded, looking a bit apprehensive.

"Turns out they also think Liam made me a promise of eternal protection and loyalty."

He looked completely taken aback, and for a moment she felt her breath quicken, thinking he hadn't known what the stone meant. But he bowed his head slightly, folding his hands awkwardly in his lap.

"How did they find out?"

"Turns out Mrs. Weasley has researched magical stones in her past, and that the Antigo is her specialty," Hermione grimaced. "She told me all about it. Unfortunately, everyone else was there too."

"Shit," he exclaimed, looking angrier than she had anticipated. She gave him an apprehensive look, and extended her hand to calm him down. When he felt her hand on his arm, he seemed to remember she was there.

"I was going to explain it all to you when the time was right," he said quietly.

"Draco, why are you giving me these promises?" she asked fiercely, looking him straight in the eyes, knowing she had to know the answers to these questions she had been bothered by since Christmas.

"Because I mean them," he admitted. "I know things are complicated, but we're... something... and I trust you, and I care about you, and I'm not loyal to the Dark Lord. But I can't say I'm loyal to Potter, not like that. And I've realised all I want to be loyal to is you"

She closed her eyes, knowing she knew how he felt. She knew it too well. They had something, but neither knew what. But she also knew that this was now, but the stone's promises were forever.

"Why are you making promises you can't keep?" she asked in a pained voice, making his head snap up.

"What do you mean 'can't keep'?"

"I know you feel like this now, but how will you feel in one year? Ten years?" she asked, trying to explain what had been bothering her.

"Exactly the same," he said slowly, with stress on every word.

"How do you know that?"

"I just do," he cried, darting up from the couch. "Is that what you think of me? That I'll be running to the enemy once I'm tired of being around you? That I'll make rash promises I don't intend to hold up to?"

"No, Draco, that's not what I –"

"Well, it's damn good to know what you really think of me," he hissed, stomping over towards the stairs.

Hermione felt tears of helplessness threaten to blind her as he followed the stairs up to his bedroom.

"Draco!" she called after him, but she got no reply but a sickening thud from his bedroom door being slammed shut.

She put her head in her hands, overwhelmed by the thoughts in her own head. The fact that he had been so hurt by her questions baffled her. She realised he meant the promises, and she knew they were heartfelt, but she still had a hard time wrapping her head around 'for ever', and she still couldn't understand how he could promise something 'for ever'. She wasn't even sure if she could give certain promises a week ahead. But she knew that was a lie. She would promise Harry in the blink of an eye to stand by him in his fight until it was over. She would promise to love her friends for ever, no matter what they did. But the whole issue with Draco was so complicated, that she knew neither what she wanted to promise him or what she could promise him.

But that didn't mean that he wasn't ready to give promises she couldn't. And was it wrong of her not to accept those promises? It certainly seemed to have upset him greatly. And why on earth did she have such a hard time accepting his gift of loyalty?

* * *

**A/N:** I am in awe at all the reviews I got from the last chapter. I got a bunch of reviews for _Beneath Your Window_ as well, so my email was SPAMMED. WHICH IS GOOD. I am a happy person right now. Very very very happy person. 

AND. I got my 100th reviewer.

So congrats angelgurl079 for being reviewer number 100! Wee!

And a damn fab review it was too. Loved reading it :D

Sarahyyy: Thanks for the long review, and I don't mind that you didn't review them separately. I did the ball this way cause I'm a hopeless romantic too, so I thought it was much more romantic that they danced on the roof alone and in the moonlight and aaaw. Plus, for the plot to work with the prologue (and the rest of the story) their relationship has to be a secret, so most things has to happen in private between them.

And yeah... I'm sorry about the Roof Man thing. My imagination is horrid sometimes :( LOL.

Woo sorry about the long author's note.

:P


	14. XIII : Until the Skies Turn Green

**A/N:** Throwing in chapter 13 before I hop on the night-train to take me back to uni for a new semester of reading, boredom and being stupid. Prepare for action. – gasp –

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**XIII ; Until the Skies Turn Green**

Draco had barely talked to her in weeks. The atmosphere in their common room was chilly, and he usually left whenever she entered. If he stayed, he would sit quietly and read, only answering her questions with short sentences, and never spoke unless he was spoken to.

The rift between them broke her heart. This was the biggest disagreement they had endured, perhaps even as they were still enemies. She slowly begun to realise how much it had taken on his part to give her that gift, and his reaction to her almost-rejection was greater than she could ever have imagined.

She still wore the necklace every day, hidden under every piece of clothing she wore. It hadn't taken her long to realise Draco believed she had never even put it on, since he hadn't seen it the day she returned. She knew she could just show him that she wore it, but some stubborn part of her argued that she shouldn't have to. And something about the finality wearing it publicly gave scared her immensely.

Lewthorn had told her again to pair up with Draco that lecture, and she sighed greatly. Not only because Lewthorn was still acting like a git, but also because she would have to deal with Draco's ice-cold surface. She moved her stuff away from Harry with an apologetic glance, and let them fall to the desk next to Draco.

"Hey," she said softly, smiling carefully as she set up her cauldron in between them.

To her frustration he didn't answer, and she gave up on getting him to address her normally. She began chopping their ingredients calmly, and she handed him what he needed without saying a word. They worked in completely silence, but not the comfortable kind that she had grown so used to before the holidays. Eventually, the excruciatingly long potions class came to an end, with their potion looking quite presentable.

"Good job, Mr. Malfoy," Lewthorn said and Hermione did her best to ignore him. This part of the lessons had become quite the normalcy.

"Thank you, Professor," Malfoy said with a smile that stung Hermione badly. He usually ignored the Professor at times like these, and she caught herself thinking _some loyalty_, but knew she was being entirely unfair.

The Professor was just about to turn around, but suddenly started sniffing his nose repeatedly. He peered into their potion, and then turned to her. She was eyeing him with a confused glance, and tried her best not to shrink under his gaze.

"What's this, Ms. Granger?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, sir," she said honestly, peering into the cauldron as well.

"Do you smell that?"

"Yes, it doesn't smell exactly like it should," she said in confusion, looking at the ingredients they had used.

"That's because you added pedant root instead of craven root, you idiot!" Lewthorn cried, and she jerked backwards as his face nearly shot into hers.

"No sir, I swear I didn't. I chopped a root from the glass that said craven," she said, trying to figure out what could have gone so wrong.

"You obviously didn't, and now you're going to lie to my face?" he bellowed, and she felt herself beginning to shiver slightly under his menacing stare, knowing that everyone were fixed on them now.

She suddenly heard a small cough from her left, and both of them turned around to look at Draco who had a superior smirk plastered across his face. At that moment she wanted to claw his eyes out.

"Say, Professor… was the pedant root wrong? My mistake," he said sweetly, and the Professor looked like someone had punched him in the face.

"No, Miss. Granger chopped the ingredients, I saw that," he said, giving her an uneasy glance.

"Oh, so you admit that Miss. Granger has taken part in the potions?" Draco said with his eyebrows raised.

"Of course she has. I'm not..."

Lewthron snapped his mouth shot as he realised what Draco Malfoy was getting at.

"Then the right thing to do would perhaps be to grade her, like you do any other student in this classroom."

Lewthorn opened and shut his mouth, looking like a fish caught on shore.

"And how come it's 'Mr. Malfoy' when the potion is good and 'Ms. Granger' when something is wrong? Oh, let me guess. She doesn't have the magical blood you require," Draco said in a biting voice. "Well let me give you a small newsflash, Professor, I threw in the pedant root. Looks like my pure blood might have gotten me a D."

She eyed him with large eyes, almost frightened by the scene in front of her. He was throwing away things she'd rather not have him throw out, just for her justice. That's when the word struck her... loyalty. It hit her so hard she nearly lost her breath, and realised why the word scared her so much. He was putting himself in danger. Lewthorn could report to his father instantly about the happenings, and that would certainly be the end of the world Draco Malfoy knew so far.

"Very well, Mr. Malfoy. I will grade your precious Head Girl. How lucky for you that this potion is just what you predicted... a D," the Professor said with a large smirk, turning towards the rest of the class. "You're done."

Hermione desperately tried to catch Draco's eyes, but he didn't look at her. All he did was gather his stuff together, and leave the classroom before anyone else had the chance to. Hermione felt the other students' eyes on her back as she put her own stuff together, and felt the same need to just run out of the classroom before anyone could ask her awkward questions.

Unfortunately for her, Harry caught up with her as she hit the stairs, and put a hand firmly on her shoulder.

"What was all that about?" he asked in disbelief, forcing her to look at him.

She sighed heavily, and fought for a better hold of her equipment.

"Lewthorn has refused to grade me ever since the beginning of the year," she said defeated, looking down at her shoes as they climbed the staircase.

"What? Why?"

"Because I'm Muggle-born"

"No," Harry gasped in horror, frowning at her in disbelief.

"Yes. He thinks I can't make potions when I have no magical blood, and didn't even care about the fact that I got an Outstanding on my owl," Hermione said, throwing her hands out frustration.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Harry asked accusingly, and Hermione shot him an annoyed look.

"I didn't want anyone to know," she hissed. "It's embarrassing."

"Malfoy seemed to know."

"He overheard me talking to the Professor one day after potions." Hermione sighed. "He's been on my back about it ever since, and now it seems he took matters into his own hands. Well, at least I'm getting graded."

"I don't see why that would bother Malfoy," Harry said in a puzzled tone as they neared the top of the staircase.

"I haven't actually asked why," Hermione dismissed. "God, this is going to be all over school."

And it seemed she was right about that. When she and Harry entered the Great Hall, news had already spread, and the room turned eerily quiet as she entered. She saw Draco sitting in his usual spot, but the Slytherins were eyeing him rather suspiciously. This was just what she wanted to avoid. She decided it was time to use the acting classes her parents had given her for her tenth birthday to good use. Hermione beckoned for Harry to follow her, and she walked with her chin high and her body locked in a confident pose towards the Slytherin table.

The entire House of Slytherin followed her with their eyes as she walked up to their table, and stopped right across from Draco, right behind Zabini. The entire Great Hall was so quiet you could hear a pygmy puff squeal from miles away. She glued her hands sternly to her hips with a stern look on her face.

"How dare you meddle in my business, Malfoy?" she asked in a cold voice, but used every ounce of emotion in her as their eyes locked to get him to understand it was just an act. She begged to higher powers that he would catch on.

"Excuse me?" he asked in a polite voice, and she felt her stomach fall slightly, but she kept going nonetheless.

"The issue with Lewthorn was my business, not yours," she said again, not taking her eyes off Draco.

"Oh, please, you think I did that for you?" he asked with a condescending laughter. "Why would I do anything for you?"

"No matter who you did it for, I don't particularly enjoy being in debt to you," she spat, searching her mind for more insults to throw.

"Don't flatter yourself so much, Granger. I did it so he would get off my back with his fawning," Malfoy said in his best superior smirk, making all the Slytherins around him light up again.

"So you did it to save your own neck? How surprising. Well at least I don't have to thank you, then," she said with a satisfied grin.

"Oh, you owe me, Granger. Owe me until the skies turn green," he said, with a sparkle in his eyes.

Hermione had to suppress a small smile, and gave a quick glance towards Harry, who looked completely baffled.

"What does that even mean, Malfoy?" Harry asked in a disbelieving tone. "That's completely nonsense."

"If you say so, oh great Potter," Malfoy said in sarcasm, and the entire Slytherin table snickered.

Hermione gave him a look of what she hoped was loathing, and turned around with Harry to head for the Gryffindor table. That could hardly have gone any better.

"Well, everything normal at that table," Harry said dryly, and Hermione had to smile slightly.

"Some things never change," she said, and silently added _but some do_.

* * *

She went up to the common room that day, expecting to find Draco in his old spirits, instead of the closed in man he had been for the past weeks. She was sorely disappointed. He sat on the couch, buried in a book, not even looking up as she sat down on the armrest next to him.

"Thanks for saving my arse from Lewthorn." She smiled, looking down at his bowed head. He didn't answer at all. "This is when you add 'thanks for saving my arse from the Slytherins'."

He finally raised his head to look at her, but his expression did nothing to calm her.

"You think this changes things?" he asked in a plain voice. "Because it doesn't."

"Draco, come on. Are you going to keep doing this to me forever?" she exclaimed, and was sorely reminded of the forever bit that scared her senseless.

"Me?" he suddenly exclaimed. "I promised you my eternal loyalty and protection, and you wouldn't even accept it. You questioned my commitment, threw it all back in my face. Probably threw the necklace away too."

She opened her mouth to protest, hurt by what he must think of her, but he rose quickly from the couch and began walking swiftly up the stairs. This time she darted up and trailed behind him, just to get his bedroom door shut in her face. She fumed with anger, and threw the bedroom door open again. He looked at her in surprise, but his brows soon narrowed into a frown.

"Why do you think I questioned you? Why do you think I wanted to know if you really meant forever?" she bellowed, taking him by surprise. "Do you think it's because I hate you? Because I want you to disappear?'

"How thick are you really?" she continued, not being able to stop now. "I'm scared. I'm scared shitless by all this, Draco. Scared that you'll promise me loyalty forever and then find out I'm really nothing special. And I'm scared because of the necklace itself."

He looked at her with his mouth open, just as she moved closer, sticking her hand down the neckline of her shirt.

"You know how the Antigo works," she said in an oddly calm voice. "The stronger the connection, the stronger reaction the stone has, right?"

He nodded, and swallowed noticeably as he watched her reach into her shirt. She pulled out the necklace, and held the ornament with the stone in the palm of her hand. The stone glowed, if possible, fiercer than ever as they stood mere steps from each other.

Draco's mouth fell open, and with what seemed like mechanical movements he stepped over to her and took the ornament in his own hand.

"See why I'm scared, Draco? Do you?" she said so intensely he ripped his eyes from the stone and met her eyes. "I don't know what it is we have, and for the longest time I suppressed that we had anything at all, but this stone... it glows like this cause of the bond between you... and me."

"You're wearing it," he said with an uncertain expression, looking from her to the necklace resting in his own hand.

"Of course I'm wearing it," she snapped. "I haven't taken it off, you moron."

"But why?" he asked, suddenly looking pained.

"You've been mad for weeks cause you thought I didn't wear it, and now you're asking me why I am?" Hermione asked, feeling almost angry at his reaction.

He merely looked at her, clearly not knowing what to reply.

"I'm wearing it cause you gave it to me," she answered when he never said anything in reply to her question. "Because it matters to me. Because you matter to me, whatever it is we have."

She looked up and met his uncertain gaze. Their eyes locked instantly, making her feel oddly tense. She suddenly grew aware of how close he was standing, and she felt the necklace hit her chest as he let go of it and wrapped his arms around her instead. Still with their eyes locked together, her heart raced quickly in her chest, each heavy thud reminding her that he was embracing her.

His lips closed over hers, and she gave in without a moment's doubt. She pressed herself closer, answering his kiss hungrily. Their tongues entwined, engaging in a wild game of seduction. Her entire body quivered, and she ran her hand through his hair, gripping it desperately in the need to cling to him. Hermione slowly felt her control slip away under his wandering hands, the heat from his body and his intoxicating scent. She lolled her head back when his lips caressed her neck, trailing a path of kisses from her jaw line down to her collarbone. She heard herself moan, and pressed her hands under his shirt, ravelling in the feeling of his skin. When he found her lips again she grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head, breaking their kiss just long enough to get it off.

He look at her with a slightly quizzical expression in his now hazy eyes just as she let his shirt fall to the floor. She smiled slightly before pulling her own shirt over her head and pressed herself against him again. He let his hands run over her naked back, breathing rather heavily now. She let herself drown against him, kissing his shoulder lovingly, enjoying how his hands made her skin heat and send small tingles through her. Their lips met in a passionate lock yet again as he drew her towards the bed. She let herself fall on top of it, letting her hands run over his bare back and down towards his hips. Now burning for more, she moaned as his hands removed all pieces of clothing in the way.

Something deep inside her couldn't believe she was doing this, but she just couldn't care. Not at that moment. Not when his hands made her burn wherever he touched her. Not when the feel of his hand against her breast made her squirm in delight. Not when she wanted nothing more than to feel him even closer. The weight of him on top of her made her crazy, and she wrapped her legs around him, pushing him closer and closer until she could barely handle it anymore. She threw her head back, letting her desperate moans escape her lips as her hands gripped into his back, her fingernails digging fiercely into his skin.

* * *

**A/N**: So this is where the M rating comes in, I guess, but I have a confession. I'm a **horrible** smut writer. You'd just end up laughing in my face if I ever tried to write real smut, so I settled for writing the fake smut. The one that avoids describing any of the good stuff and just gives you a bunch of poetic lines about how good it feels.

:P


	15. XIV : Reality

**A/N:** Ugh, night-trains are horrible! This 50 year old woman slept almost on top of me and she smelled of alcohol the entire way. 10 hours! Yeeesh. Buuut, coming home to find all your reviews really cheered me up! You guys rock.

* * *

**XIV ; Reality**

"Oh my God, what did we do?" she muttered in despair as she woke up, finding herself leaning against him. She was resting her head and her hand on his chest, with her leg wrapped around his, growing steadily aware of how there was nothing but naked skin. The thought of it made her tingle, but she suppressed it, getting more and more alarmed at the events.

What on earth had she done? She untangled herself from his body and let herself fall back towards the pillow with a heavy sigh, at least for a slight moment. When last night hit her with full force, she sat up abruptly and hid her face in her hands. Way to make things more complicated. She rubbed her hands against her eyes and her cheeks, and rose from the bed even if a glance at the clock told her it was only four AM.

"Hermione," he said groggily, turning towards her and wrapped the warm covers tighter around himself. "Don't go off and bother yourself with analysations."

She gave him a sharp look, wondering when he had gotten to know her so well.

"It won't help. It'll only make it worse," he said calmly. "Come back to bed and sleep."

"I can't." She sighed, as she pulled her panties and jeans on, looking frantically for her bra. She saw him eyeing her naked breasts with raised eyebrows, and she gave him an exasperated smile. "Stop staring, you naughty little creature."

"I can't," he said mischievously, and it took her a few moments to realise he had mimicked her own reply. She stuck her tongue out and bent down to look underneath the bed.

When she surfaced from her search, he was holding up a black lace bra, looking amused.

"I was going to keep this for the memory... plus it was worth it just to see you look for it." He grinned. "But you can have it back."

She huffed at him, but smiled slightly when she launched across the bed to snatch it out of his hands. Her hands got a hold of it, but he managed do draw her up to him, and he kissed her gently.

"Draco, I can't."

"So I hear you say." He sighed, letting go of the bra.

"I just can't deal with more complications right now," she muttered, and rolled herself of the bed again, and turned away from him as she put on the garment he had hid from her, pulling her shirt over that again, hiding her necklace from view yet again.

"You're only going to make it more complicated if you go off to think about why it happened, how it happened, what you were wearing when it happened so you won't ever wear that again in case that played in for some unexplainable reason."

"I need to do this my way," she said, running her hand a couple of times through her hair, knowing it looked terrible. "But go back to sleep. I'll see you in class."

He sighed and fell back against the pillow, as she gave him a weak smile and opened the door just wide enough to slip through. She felt exhausted, but she knew she couldn't have stayed in bed. She couldn't even go back to her own bed to sleep. There was no way she could sleep right now. Grabbing her cloak, she decided to go for a walk, hoping she wouldn't be caught out of her dorm at this hour. Either way, as Head Girl she had a pretty good excuse anyway.

She trailed the empty hallways, and pushed the large oak doors open with a heavy sigh. The air was moist and held the promise of spring in its scent. They were already well into their very last term at Hogwarts, Valentine's Day already having come and gone. It was soon March, and she knew she only had a few precious months left; more of them would definitely be used to cram for their N.E.W.T.s. All in all, her last year wasn't turning out that bad, but indeed quite unexpected.

If someone had told her last year that Draco Malfoy would promise her eternal loyalty, she would have laughed so hard she couldn't stand straight, and if they then had preceded to tell her she would lose her virginity to him she would have slapped them in the face and locked them up in the dungeons to rot. But life seemed to work in ways none of them could foresee. Some things work out even if it never seemed that they were supposed to, and things that were in the cards from day one suddenly fall through as reality hits.

But it hadn't worked out yet. It was nowhere near working out, and that was perhaps what bothered her more than anything. How could there ever be a solution for them, when he was one of the most despised people among her friends and family and his own father wanted to kill her kind? Not even a friendship between them would be acceptable, and she didn't even know what they had anymore.

She had definitely worsened the situation for herself, she realised. He wasn't a boyfriend, but he was most definitely not just a friend anymore. She had thrown lover into the mix, making it yet another thing to take into account as her life grew steadily more complicated.

After taking step after step doing just what Draco had told her not to: analyze, she found herself standing at the shore of the lake. The lake she had seen so many times, first at the age of eleven. That blissful age seemed so long ago. The days when finding the philosopher's stone had been a game, more than anything. As the years had raced on, things had grown steadily more serious, darker. People had begun to die, and she realised she had no guarantees of who would survive. Knowing she might look back only a year from now, thinking about the times when all of her friends were alive, remembering those who had passed, she gripped her necklace, letting it comfort her as she ventured into the possibility that someone else might be thinking back to mourn her. To mourn the days where she had been full of life, lived her designed time on earth.

Sitting by the lake for hours, she decided it was time to go back. Her thoughts had brought her places she didn't like being in, realising how close they all were to the climax of the war. Before turning her back to the lake, she decided she would begin wearing her necklace proudly... soon. She had someone, who would remain loyal to her no matter what, even if it came from an unexpected party. There was no reason to hide that. And she doubted anyone even knew what it meant anyway, except perhaps the teachers.

Hermione met up with Harry for transfiguration, probably looking like utter crap. Most people would if they got up at four AM.

"Morning." She yawned, holding the classroom door open for him. They both stepped inside and took their regular seats, looking around for Ron.

"He's late from breakfast as usual," Harry groaned. "I had to leave him there as he gnawed on the last piece of toast, or I was sure I would be late."

Seconds later, Ron came barging through the classroom door, taking his seat next to Hermione, completely short of breath. The rest of the class had already taken their seats, including Draco, who Hermione had avoided eye contact with as he entered. McGonagall entered right after Ron, and the chatter ceased immediately.

McGonagall launched herself into a long speech about N.E.W.T.s, making more people than just Hermione squirm nervously in their seats. She really did not feel ready for examinations just yet, even if they weren't until June. McGonagall soon gave them today's task, giving them all a glass orb with another class orb inside. The smaller glass orb was to be transfigured into an image of choice, leaving the class in an excited buzz.

"Wow, I have to think of a really representative image," Harry exclaimed, seeming to take this task more serious than any other tasks from that year. "Maybe a Snitch."

"Good idea." Hermione smiled, just as McGonagall held up her hands to quiet the class.

"Now this spell is intricate, and you need to be focused. If you're thinking of something else rather than your image, that will appear instead. And I would rather not consider what goes through those heads of yours, so please do focus on the image you're going for. For the better good of us all." She sighed and Hermione got a feeling she had encountered weird images on a number of occasions.

Hermione suddenly pictured some things she definitely should not picture as she tried to transfigure the tiny glass orb inside, and she shook her head in horror. Throwing a worried glance towards Draco, he met her eyes and smirked at her expression. She gave him a warning look, and he shook his head in an amused manner.

"I really don't know what to picture," Hermione said in a concerned voice, as Harry set to work on his image of the snitch, and Ron had decided that an image of Gryffindor Table decked for a feast was a good choice.

She began panicking; searching her brain for something she would want to put in the glass orb. But somehow, everything she could think of was 'forbidden'. She shook her head and tried to clear her mind, and decided that she would transfigure an image of herself, Ron and Harry. Who knew, some day she might treasure that orb more than anything.

She cleared her head of any other thoughts, and began working on the spell itself. A few times she came very close, and the picture nearly came into focus, before taking the round form of the orb again.

A small cheer sounded from the other end of the classroom, and all three of them turned to see what was up. Draco seemed to have managed the spell, and Zabini was smirking, most likely out of the joy to see her being beaten to it for once.

McGonagall came up to him and peered down into his glass orb.

"Nice work, Mr. Malfoy," she said, with her eyebrow slightly raised. "A white rose? Very… interesting"

"It reminds me of someone," he commented, and the entire class watched him with interest. Hermione wondered if it was his mother it reminded him of, and realised she had never really met Narcissa. Was she any better than her husband?

But as the other students returned to their own orbs, he caught her gaze and she realised he hadn't been talking about his mother. She felt herself blush, and gave him a quick smile, before turning to her own image.

Only minutes later she managed to transfigure her own, and showed it proudly to Ron and Harry, who beamed at her as they saw the image of the three of them with their arms tightly wrapped around each other's shoulders.

-----

A week later, she stood in her own room, and decided it was time to wear the necklace on the outside of her robes. She knew it would trigger some fawning and some questions, but she finally felt up to handling it. Her first lecture was again transfiguration, and she supposed that would be the worst of it. McGonagall never did miss anything. Well, all is relative, obviously.

Hermione took her normal seat and sat waiting for Harry and Ron to join her. Soon everyone had piled in, and McGonagall stepped through the doorway, announcing that they would keep working on the orb since Hermione and Draco were the only ones who had managed to do theirs the last time.

McGonagall walked among them, handing out new orbs, and gave everyone a few tips on how to improve their last attempts. She gave Ron a long tirade about concentration, and turned to give Hermione a second orb to practise on. Suddenly, McGonagall gave an uncharacteristic yelp that made everyone snap their heads up.

"Ms. Granger," McGonagall said breathlessly. "Your necklace!"

Hermione took a deep breath as she felt everyone's eyes on her now. She put up a large smile, and nodded towards her Professor.

"That's an Antigo," the Professor exclaimed in a, for her, unusually enthusiastic voice.

"Err, yes," Hermione stated lamely, and wanted more than anything to let the ground swallow her whole.

"May I?" she asked, leaning in, and Hermione nodded reluctantly. McGonagall took the stone in the palm of her hand and eyed it with great fascination.

"I can hardly believe it, Ms. Granger. I assume you know of its extraordinary powers?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Hermione confirmed, hoping she wouldn't go into detail in front of the entire class.

"This is unbelievable," McGonagall continued to say. "It's amazing how a stone can actually carry promises of eternal loyalty and protection."

Hermione sighed in exasperation as she heard every female figure in the room gasp in shock. Why couldn't McGonagall have kept her mouth shut? This was beginning to get rather embarrassing.

"Yes, it is," Hermione replied softly, wanting nothing more than to return to her glass orb.

"And I don't think I've ever seen an Antigo shine this brightly. There must be a real strong bond between you and the giver," McGonagall continued in awe, sending waves of horror down Hermione's spine.

It had definitely not been a good idea to reveal her necklace. She could formerly see the faces of the girls, hungry for gossip and news on who had made such a grand gesture for Hermione Granger, the plainest of the plain.

"Could I ask who gave it to you?"

Hermione raised her eyebrows at the cheek of her Professor, and almost became a bit amused at her desperate curiosity.

"I'd rather not answer that," she replied with a smile, and her Professor nodded.

"Of course, my dear girl. Incredible, wait till Flitwick learns about this."

Hermione felt like going back to bed. The fawning had already exceeded all her expectations and when McGonagall turned around, she already dreaded the end of the lecture when the girls would throw themselves at her with greedy desperation.

-----

"Eternal loyalty and protection?" Lavender shrieked as they reached the hallway after class, and Hermione shushed for her to keep her voice down.

"Yes"

"But who?"

"Wouldn't you just love to know?" Hermione replied, really not in the mood for this.

Several other girls trailed up to her, and surrounded her with faces of greed.

"That's so romantic," someone squealed, and Hermione sighed. Did none of these girls actually think with their sensible minds? Sure, it could be romantic, but eternal loyalty was an intense thing. It wasn't something to be taken lightly.

"Come on, Hermione, tell us who gave it to you," someone else begged, leaving Hermione in an urge to scream her head off at them.

"Hey, Granger! Rounds," Draco called from further down the hall, and she knew very well they had no rounds, but she took the opportunity and ran with it.

"Oh, excuse me," Hermione said with a fake smile, and darted up to Draco with a pained expression on her face. He laughed as she reached him, and began walking slowly around the corridors as if they were actually doing rounds.

"Oh. My. God," she exclaimed in exasperation, and made a strangling motion with her hands.

"You can't really blame them for being curious." Draco grinned. "Wouldn't you be?"

"I suppose so, but McGonagall should know better than to let everyone know what it means." Hermione sighed, walking slowly by his side.

"That I agree with," he said with a grimace. "I just try to picture the faces they'd have if they knew who gave it to you. Hilarious."

She smiled, knowing they would more than likely faint on the spot.

"In fact, I think I could tell them the truth and they'd just think I was joking anyway."

"True." He chuckled.

"Thanks for saving me from the deadly gossip queens."

"Eternal loyalty and protection, remember?" he said with a wink.

She watched his features closely as he walked beside her, looking straight ahead now. His profile was perfect, as if etched in marble by the most skilled artist. She felt a sudden urge to wrap her arm around his waist, but refrained from it for obvious reasons.

"Loyalty and protection is easier in this castle than it will be," she said carefully, scared to upset him again. "Things are going to get more complicated. You know that."

"I already think it's pretty difficult here," he commented dryly, and looked around at their fellow students piling around them, all divided into houses... some of them taught to hate each other for no other reason than hate itself.

"Not long from now, there will be a day when Harry will go up against Voldemort. And Ron and I will be there. Nothing in the world could keep me from that fight," she said intensely. "And you, whether you like it or not, are a marked death eater. See the conflict of interest?"

He shot her a sideways glance, and seemed to be thinking deeply about what she said. His face remained still in the rather emotionless expression he wore as they walked slowly though the corridors.

"That I have to come when Voldemort calls me because of this mark doesn't mean that I'm loyal to him. That stone means more than the mark ever will. Even if the circumstances makes it seem like I'm not, I'm always on your side."

"How can you really know that now? The heat of the war hasn't begun yet, unexpected things come along"

"I just know it. I can't explain why, but I know there are no one else I will be loyal to," he said matter-of-factly, and she felt drawn in a thousand different directions. In a way she felt guilty that she couldn't offer him the same. She knew she could never betray Harry, not even for Draco, though she doubted that was what he wanted.. but that was what eternal loyalty implied right? Or perhaps she was reading a bit too much into the whole thing.

They walked in silence, each wrapped in their own deep thoughts. But it felt comforting to walk beside him, even if her head was filled with confusion and nagging thoughts she couldn't seem to dismiss. She wondered when she had begun preferring his presence over pretty much everyone else's. It scared her a bit, but at the same time she loved how being with him made her feel.

-----

Hermione sat at the table in their common room with a bunch of parchments laid out before her. Her quill drew neat lines forming a table on the biggest piece of parchment. Ginny was eyeing her with her head inclined slightly from her seat in the armchair.

"What are you doing?" she asked, leaving the open book in her lap.

"I'm making study timetables for the N.E.W.T.s," Hermione answered with a grimace. "There's so much to cover."

"Hermione, it's the end of March. N.E.W.T.s are in June," Ginny commented with a chuckle.

"Well I can never start too early."

"Yes, you can," her friend protested. "You're starting too early right now."

"I'm not planning to slack off and just hope things work out for the better," Hermione announced, continuing to draw neat lines across her parchment. Ginny grew oddly quiet at that, but Hermione didn't really take notice. Until the world suddenly turned black and she felt a pair of hands clutching around her eyes.

"Guess who," he said in an amused voice, and she wriggled under his firm grip.

"Merlin? Is that you?" she squealed, and he chuckled.

"No, guess again."

"Dad? Scrimgeor? Percy Weasley? Umbridge? Voldemort?"

"Yes, it's me Voldemort," he said in a booming voice and she laughed.

"Malfoy, I know it's you, now let me go," she cried in between chuckles, but he held his hands firmly over her eyes. She began trying to wiggle free, and chucked herself forward sending him halfway over the back of the sofa. When he let go of her and she regained her vision, she found him hanging over the back of the couch next to her and she pointed and laughed heartily at him. She heard Ginny join in as well, and a small worry at what her friend had just witnessed surged through her, but not enough to ruin the moment.

He scrambled up again and straightened up into his normal, confident posture.

"That was just mean," he proclaimed in an indignant voice.

"It was self-defence."

"Ah yes, I was doing the Princess wrong," he replied with his tongue sticking out, and she shook her head in a grin.

"At least you didn't muck up my study timetable," she said, turning to her parchment again.

"Oh Merlin. Please don't tell me you're already studying for N.E.W.T.s?" he cried in disbelief, sitting down on the other end of the couch.

"So what if I am?" she replied indignantly, wondering if everyone was going to jump on her because of it.

"Ever heard about fun?" he asked cheekily. "It's what the rest of us like to have in our spare time."

"It's not like I have anything else to do, though."

"I can think of something," he replied at that with a sheepish grin, and she shot him a stern look, furiously suppressing the heat in her cheeks.

"I don't doubt that you can," she replied, focusing on the parchment now. "Lucky Ginny. You don't have to deal with this until next year."

"Thank Merlin. I absolutely hate cramming for exams. O.W.L.s were horrible enough." She sighed dramatically.

"You did well, though," Hermione argued.

"Doesn't mean studying for them weren't a horrific experience," she stated dryly. "Next year is going to be the worst year yet. Including the year I was possessed by Voldemort most of the time."

Draco raised his eyebrow at that, but didn't comment on it.

"It's not going to be that bad. You'll probably be Head Girl and have these rooms all to yourself."

"But all the people I usually talk to are going to be Merlin knows where. The only one left is Luna." Her friend sighed and slammed her book shut.

"You never know, Ginny. Might be the best year you've had yet. You never know what happens." Hermione smiled, avoiding Draco's gaze.

"That is true." Draco nodded. "Hogwarts has a tendency to turn everything upside down."

"Even if I don't believe that, thanks for trying to make me feel better."

Hermione smiled at her, just as Draco got up from the sofa.

"I'm not going to disrupt your studying," he said with a grimace. "You're boring."

"Oh, I'm boring? I'll remember that."

He just smirked and jumped the stairs two steps at a time, leaving the two girls alone in the common room.

"Who knows, Gin. Maybe you'll be luckier than me and share the common rooms with a cute guy." Hermione winked.

"First of all... I don't feel like I'll ever get over Harry, and to some degree I guess I'm still hoping he'll go back to me when he's done with the war," she said, looking towards the fireplace, biting her lower lip.

"I don't think that hope is entirely futile. He told me at the Yule Ball that he really missed being with you," Hermione confessed. She watched Ginny's face light up considerably.

"Really?" Ginny beamed. "Merlin, I wished this war would just be over already."

"I'm waiting for the second of all," Hermione reminded her with a grin.

"Second of all…" she began. "Malfoy is definitely a cute guy."

Hermione's head snapped up in shock, looking at her friend with her mouth slightly open. That was... entirely not expected.

"Sure, he's a git most of the time, but you've got to admit he's still very handsome," Ginny continued, and played absently with her ponytail.

"I suppose."

"You suppose? Come on, he's tall, he's got a perfect face, and he's body is... well..._fine_, to be completely honest."

"Oh, alright, he's hot. Happy now?" Hermione asked, feeling herself blush just a tinge.

"No shame in admitting that, Hermione. It's not like you'd do anything. Cause he's still Malfoy."

"No... no, that's true."

Hermione swallowed and turned the conversation onto safer grounds. They talked about her issues with Harry until Ginny sighed, and announced she should be going back to her own dormitories. By then it was already getting late, and Hermione nodded in reply, and gathered her school things. She got up and followed her friend to the portrait, and handed her the robe she had shed when she came.

"Want to see if Harry and Ron want to do something tomorrow? I don't feel like wasting a perfectly good Saturday," Ginny asked as she stepped through the portrait hole.

"Sure, just let me know what they think, and I'm in." Hermione smiled, waving her friend goodbye.

Hermione tidied the common room, yawning slightly. She went around putting all her school supplies back, and washed the dirty dishes in the sink. After a while, she realised she was dead tired, and turned off the lights before heading up to her bedroom. Her bed looked extremely tempting, and she refolded a few of her clothes, before jumping out of what she'd worn that day and put it carefully in the hamper.

She slipped down under her covers, and lay there trying to warm herself up again under them. The room had turned dead cold after having the window up all day. She squirmed around in bed, not being able to sleep and still shivering from the cold. Draco had been laying in his bed for a lot longer, and it was probably hot and warmed by the heat from his body. She found herself looking towards the bathroom door that connected them. They hadn't done anything since that night, which felt like ages ago, and it was ages ago. She knew it was because of her. He hadn't tried anything at all because he knew she was confused and worried about the relationship between them.

And she was still thinking about the situation, probably all too much. She was beginning to think that he was right. She was overanalyzing the situation. Her body told her to go to him, and yet she only wanted to think and think and think it through, but her thinking brought her nowhere. The realisation made her swing her cover away from herself and jump out of bed. Before she could change her mind, she opened the bathroom door and stopped momentarily in front of his.

Quietly, she put her hand on it and pushed it open quite slowly. She found him laying in bed on his side, turned towards her but his eyes were closed. Suddenly not wanting to wake him, she was about to turn around when she heard him grunt slightly. He began stirring, and she watched him with an expression a bit more loving than she realised.

"Hey." She smiled when he blinked several times. She was still standing by the bathroom door, and turned around to close it behind her.

"Hermione," he said in a hoarse voice, and he rubbed his eyes slightly, hoisting himself up on his elbow.

"My room was really cold," she explained quickly with a vague hand movement towards her own room.

"Really," he commented with a smirk. She nodded in reply, suddenly wondering if she had made a mistake by leaving her own bed.

"Err. You don't happen to have an extra blanket or something?" she asked quickly, trying to cover up her bold move.

He gave her an amused glance, and inclined his head. To her own annoyance her cheeks turned hot, and she felt extremely embarrassed from her direct action. She should have thought it through. Thinking was the way to go.

Draco smiled widely and lifted his covers aside. The move was a definite invitation, and Hermione only hesitated a second before she rushed over and climbed in next to him. It was just as warm as she had imagined and she sighed happily as she turned to face him.

"Better?" He smiled, tucking the cover closer around them.

"Mmhm." She grinned, feeling like there was nowhere else she'd rather be at that moment.

She snuggled closer to his warm chest, and he answered by wrapping his hands around her and kissed the tip of her nose.

"Was that really why you came?" he asked teasingly and he was so close his breath brushed against her cheek.

"It was cold," she replied with a smirk, letting her head rest against his shoulder. "But it may not have been the only reason."

He chuckled and held her tighter, his lips pressing against her hair.

"I'm sorry I woke you."

"Are you joking?" He laughed in disbelief.

"No, I was about to turn around when I saw you sleeping."

"You're insane. This is the best surprise I've had in a while."

"I can't see why," she said, closing her eyes slightly.

"I wake up to find you in my room, you slip into my bed and I get to hold your body in my arms and kiss you. Where's the downside?" he asked, drawing back a little bit to meet her gaze.

"I guess I find it hard to understand why you want... me," she confessed, and felt completely idiotic. Why was she pouring out her insecurities as she lay in bed with Draco? Had she lost her mind completely?

"Hermione, you've gone mad," he said softly. She lay straight on her back now, and he had hoisted himself up on his elbow, looking down into her face. His fingers caressed her cheek, ran over her lips and down her neck. Her breath seemed to catch in her throat, never really ceasing to be surprised by her own reactions to him. She watched him in wonder as his hand rested against her chest, and quickly graced the necklace as he moved to open the buttons on her pyjama shirt. His slender fingers began to slowly open the buttons as he kept his eyes locked on her features.

"You're absolutely beautiful. To even ask why I would want you is insane," he muttered, working on the last button on her shirt. "Your body is warm and curvy, and I don't think I've ever held anything that feels this good. The way you look at me makes me go crazy, the way you bite your lip makes me go crazy. Your beautiful smile, the way you laugh."

She couldn't help but put up a baffled expression. She had always been a bit insecure under the bossy surface, and had never really believed that anyone could find her beautiful, and hearing it like this made her feel warm all over, comforted in a way she had never really known. His hand rested on her stomach for a second, before it travelled slowly upwards, leaving a trail of heat on her skin. As his hand enclosed over her breast, he closed his eyes for a mere moment.

"I want you," he whispered as he opened them again and locked with her dark brown ones.

She broke into a smile and pulled him down to her, catching his lips with hers. They got lost in each other, exploring both the other one's body and their own passion and desire. Their bodies entwined, and his every touch set her on fire, making her want more and more. Eventually, she fell exhaustedly down on top of him, warm and content. The cover had slipped off them and he bent as far as he could to the left with her still lying on top of him, and drew the cover over them both. She bent down and kissed him gently, and he smiled widely as she broke away and stroked her hair back. He kept stroking her hair as she rested her head on his chest and slowly slipped away into sleep.

* * *

**A/N II:** teeeheee, more fake smut! You know you secretly love it. 


	16. XV : Feel

**A/N:**I know, I'm an update whore! I'm addicted to updating this thing. – hides – Oh well. Better than being all too slow, I suppose. :P

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**XV ; Feel**

She awoke by the feel of his lips against hers that morning, and smiled against him, answering the kiss softly.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it," he apologised. "You looked so pretty and peaceful."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and grinned happily.

"Don't apologise. It's the best awakening I've had."

They lay against each other, talking quietly even though the time was running ahead of them. Hermione didn't care. All that seemed to matter was his comforting arms and his deep voice.

She suddenly turned her head in surprise, stopping him mid sentence. She held a finger against his lips, and strained her ears.

Then she heard it again. It was Ginny, banging on her bedroom door and calling her name.

"Shit!" Hermione exclaimed, rolling off the bed in a hurry.

"What's wrong?" he asked in confusion, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed as well. He rubbed his eyes carefully, and sat on the edge watching her pull her pyjamas from the floor.

"It's Ginny. I told her I'd do something with them today," she explained, and turned to smile quickly before darting through the bathroom and into her own room.

"Hermione. Wake up. I've been standing here for 5 minutes straight now," Ginny called in exasperation, and Hermione could hear her perfectly clear now.

"Gin! I'm sorry, I didn't hear you until now," she yelled, quickly finding underwear and clothes in her wardrobe.

"Didn't hear me?" Ginny asked in disbelief.

"I was asleep. Sorry," she said again, pulling her jeans on. "Just let me get dressed, alright?"

As she wrapped herself in the rest of her clothes, she heard Draco exit the bedroom she had just left.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I woke you up," Ginny said in remorse from outside.

"It's no matter. It's late anyway," she heard Draco reply, and his footsteps travelled down the stairs just as she finished up in her room.

She opened the door abruptly, and came face to face with her friend, who was now waiting patiently for Hermione to be ready.

"Merlin, there you are at last," she breathed, dragging Hermione down into the common room.

"Yeah, sorry I slept so long. I was really... exhausted," she said quickly, and knew Draco was smirking even though her back was turned to the kitchen where he was standing. Instead, she faced the couch, where Ron and Harry sat; bickering loudly about something Hermione had no clue about. Obviously some argument she had missed.

"Thanks for waiting for me," she called to the two boys, and they seemed to suddenly notice she was there.

"Oh, good, you're up," Harry said, nodding quickly.

"Finally," Ron muttered, but she ignored him and turned towards the kitchen.

She was about to get herself a cup of coffee, but when she turned around Draco was already holding out a mug for her. She took it gently from his grip and leaned against the counter, watching her friends continue their bickering.

"Thanks," she said with a smile at him, and he gave her a long look that made her squirm slightly. "So what are we doing?"

"We're going to the Quidditch pitch," Ron proclaimed proudly. "Get some quality flying done."

Hermione nearly spit her coffee out. She swallowed her sip quickly, and looked at him in shock.

"Why on earth are you banging on my door for then?"

"We thought we'd bring you flying for once. One time has to be your first on a broomstick. That way you can take part in our annual Christmas Quidditch Match next year instead of helping Mum with Dinner."

"No," she said waving her hand fiercely. "No, no, no."

"Why not?" Ginny sighed, putting her hands on her hips.

"I don't fly on a tiny stick. It's... unnatural," she said, pulling a grimace.

"So, you won't because you're scared?" a deep voice said from behind her. She turned around to find Draco lifting his eyebrows at her.

"That's right, Einstein."

The Einstein point seemed to go straight over the heads on everyone but Harry, who chuckled.

"I thought you Gryffindors were supposed to be brave," he commented. "Or is that only when it suits you?"

"Are you saying I'm not brave just because I won't get on a broomstick?" she asked in a challenging manner.

"How can you be brave if you're afraid to ride on a stick?" he challenged, and then suddenly burst into a fit of laughter, baffling all of them completely. He continued to laugh until he had to put his mug back onto the counter, and bend over.

Hermione suddenly realised the innuendo and put up a stern look.

"That's not funny," she proclaimed, but her the corner of her lip twitched slightly. He kept laughing, and she threw the remaining contents of her mug at him, but he dodged it with a slight yelp and stood there grinning at her.

"Oh, alright. I'll ride the stupid broomstick," she cried, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Awesome." Harry grinned, looking more than just a little amused at the scene.

"Since Malfoy seems to be the only one who manages to provoke Hermione enough to actually do this, I say he should join us," Ginny proposed, throwing Hermione her cloak.

"Ginny, are you sure that's such a good idea?" Harry muttered, nudging his head towards Ron with a slight grimace.

"My brother will behave, or I will spill more of his secrets to Fred and George," she replied with a mischievous smile.

"Like they haven't got enough ammo against me already," Ron cried indignantly, making Hermione chuckle.

She swung the cloak over her shoulders, and followed her friends towards the portrait.

"You coming?" she asked when Draco remained standing by the counter in uncertainty. "I think I might need your help on this one."

He grinned and grabbed his own cloak, following right behind her.

"You'll ride the stick just fine," he chuckled, before leaning in. "You did last night."

"You are unbelievable," she cried, and hit him fiercely on the shoulder, making him laugh harder.

The five of them piled onto the abandoned pitch that was soaking in the pale sun, and Hermione realised another problem. She didn't exactly have a broom. Oh well, she couldn't say she was devastated. Her friends sat across theirs and kicked off from the ground, swirling around her.

"You geniuses didn't think of that, huh?" Hermione asked triumphantly with her hands crossed over her chest.

"Think of what?" Ron asked in puzzlement, all of them hovering mid air to look at her.

"She doesn't have a broom, nitwits," Draco replied, rolling his eyes, but he held out his towards her. "Take mine."

"But you'll need yours," she protested, not intending to give up that easily.

"I think it's better if I stay on the ground in case you decide to fall off," he stated dryly.

"I'll fall off?" she asked in a high-pitched voice.

"I said if," he said, sighing. "And besides, I did say I was going to stand here in case you did?"

"And how is that going to help?" she shrieked, panicking slightly now.

"First of all, I have hands," he replied. "And second of all, I know magic."

"Alright, so what do I do?" she relented, throwing her hands out from her side.

Ginny lowered towards the ground as the two other boys flew around badgering each other. It looked so easy when she did it, but Hermione knew better.

"Just sit across the broom, just about on the middle," Ginny informed her, and Hermione swung her legs over it, feeling severely apprehensive.

"And if you hold it like it's something icky, you'll definitely fall off," Draco informed her. "You need a strong grip on it, both hands on the handle."

"Like this?" she asked, holding on as tight as she could.

"If you're right handed, you need your right hand before the left hand."

She nodded, and changed the position of them, wondering what she was getting into.

"Now you can kick off the ground," Ginny said from above, but Draco stopped her quickly.

"I don't want you any more than a few feet up, so just push yourself up from the ground, don't shoot up like some rocket or another," he said sternly.

"So, I'm going to be 'flying' around on the ground?" Hermione asked in amusement.

"At least until I'm sure you can actually balance on it."

Hermione nodded, and pushed herself softly from the ground. She soon began hovering a bit above ground level, but she couldn't seem to sit straight. She felt herself waddle back and forth uncomfortably.

"Balance yourself. Extend the right leg if you feel yourself dropping to one side. You need to find the right point of the broom and the right point of your body," Draco told her, and she tried following his advice, but it didn't seem to help much.

He walked up to her and placed one hand on her back and one hand on her stomach. He moved her a tiny inch to the right, and suddenly she felt entirely comfortable on the broomstick.

"Wow, thanks," she said, amazed by how balanced she felt.

"To move forwards, you just lean in a little," Ginny told her, and gave a little demonstration. "And to slow down, you just sit up a little straighter."

Hermione looked at what Ginny did, and felt a bit uneasy, but tried to lean in a little, and gave a slight yelp as she jerked forwards. She straightened up at once and came to such an abrupt halt that she nearly fell off. Looking slightly towards Draco she noticed that he was standing ready to catch her, and she smiled at his enthusiastic manner towards this.

"You need more flowing movements. However panicked you feel, abrupt movements will only make it worse," he stated, and lowered his hands when she was sitting straight on the broom again.

"Hermione!" she heard from above, and looked up to see Ron and Harry swirling around over her head. "Come on up here!"

"Up there?" she asked in unease, clutching the handle of the broom.

"Yeah, you can't stay down there all day," Ron beckoned.

"She hasn't learned to go forwards or backwards properly yet," Draco commented. "She's not going up there!"

"What do you mean; she's not going up there?" Harry asked in disbelief.

"She's not going higher until she can control the broom," Draco said sternly, and Hermione felt herself heat up.

Why was he telling her what she could and could not do? She knew she was being ridiculous, that he knew what he was doing, but she strongly disliked the fact that he was commanding her around. She didn't like to be commanded around. Who did he think he was? Lowering herself, her feet found the ground and she kicked off as hard as she could from it and she soared up even past Harry and Ron. She noticed immediately that this was a bad idea. The ground disappeared under her, and she felt extremely vulnerable on top of the broom.

She heard Harry and Ron cheer, but she felt like an idiot. What was she supposed to do now? She didn't know how to operate this thing properly, and she was several feet up in the air.

"Hermione, you stubborn moron!" Draco shouted from the ground, and she closed her eyes in regret.

"I don't like being commanded," she yelled back and she saw him stomp around on the ground at that.

"So you go against everything logical and soar yourself twenty feet up in the air, even if you can't operate the damn thing?"

"I'm sorry," she cried back, gripping the handle so hard her knuckles whitened. "What do I do now?"

"You try to get down, I suppose," Draco called back, but Ron and Harry protested.

"Now that you're already up here, you might as well just try to fly properly," Ron said, flying up beside her.

"Yeah, alright. So what do I do then?" she asked Ron, and he looked back at her with quizzical expression.

"You just... fly," he said, looking around at the others.

"Merlin, you're dumb," Draco called harshly. "She doesn't know how to fly. Try to lean forward like you did down here. Move more gradually, no abrupt movement."

She looked nervously down on the ground, noticing how far she was up. However, there really was no choice was there? Not when she had let her emotions run high and gone up into the air just to spite Draco. She looked at him, and he was nodding slowly at her. Swallowing her fear, she leaned in gradually, and felt the broom pick up speed. The wind came rushing against her face and she leaned back a little to slow down again.

"Good job," he said from the ground, and she beamed as the speed ceased completely and she just hovered in the air. "Use your right hand to turn to the right, and also to the left. And still no abrupt movements."

The fear was less prominent this time. Sure she was high up, but Draco had her back, she was sure of it. The result was that she managed to pick up speed, and take a turn to the right, even if it was a kind of ragged turn. No nice, swirly ones like Harry's. She saw Ginny eye her in concern from a little away, obviously ready to get her as well in case she should fall off.

"Good. Now, if you want to get down at all, you'll need to turn the handle downwards," Draco said calmly.

"What? You want me to turn the broom against the ground?" she squeaked, regretting her rash decision more than ever.

"Hermione, it'll be fine," he said in a strong voice, though she could see that he wasn't as calm as he led on.

Even Harry and Ron seemed to be eyeing her in concern now.

"We have your back, Hermione," Harry reassured her, and she turned to the right and slowly led the handle downwards.

It was an unpleasant experience if she had ever had one, flying with her face towards the ground. Soon she found herself going all too fast. The wind was rushing against her face, and panic began building up in her. Instincts took over for sensible thinking, and she sat up straight, all too fast. The broom stopped so abruptly in its downwards position that she was flung off over the handle. She closed her eyes in fear as she felt herself falling, and she heard Ginny scream from above. Just when she thought everything would turn out exceptionally ugly, she felt herself slow down rapidly. It was as if everything was going in slow motion.

She opened her eyes and saw Draco on the ground with his wand out and realised it must have been a spell. She closed her eyes again and begged that this spell actually worked to her advantage, and sighed in relief when she felt his strong arms catch her. The spell broke, and her movements went back to normal speed as he still held her. He lowered her down until her feet hit the ground, but he still held his arm around her waist protectively.

She felt shaky and her legs refused to stand on their own. Ginny landed beside them and held Draco's broom in her hand. She rushed over to Hermione with a pained expression on her face.

"Are you alright?" she cried. "I'm so sorry."

"Stop, it's my own fault. I was the one who didn't follow directions." Hermione sighed, glad that Draco still held his arm around her waist. She would definitely fall over if he didn't.

Harry and Ron also came to the ground, and rushed over.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. We shouldn't have pressured you to go higher," Harry said with obvious regret.

"It's fine. I should've known better." She sighed, and suddenly noticed that Ron was staring at them.

"Get your dirty hands off of her, Malfoy," Ron bellowed, taking a threatening step towards Draco.

"I can't fucking stand up cause my feet are shaking so badly. So cut it out, Ronald!" she cried back, and he stopped immediately with a puzzled expression on his face.

Draco suddenly let go, and hoist her over on Ginny, who took a firm grip around her. Hermione looked at him in confusion, but he looked closed up and angry. He didn't meet her gaze, and turned around with the broom in his hand without a word. Hermione closed her eyes in pain, and at that moment, she didn't even care that her friends were standing around her.

"Draco. _Draco. DRACO_!" she bellowed. "Look, I'm really sorry. _Draco._"  
He just kept walking up towards the castle, and she swore loudly, stomping her foot hard into the ground.

"Calm down, Hermione. What's the big deal?" Ron asked, shrugging.

She looked at him angrily, but held back her biting remarks. He couldn't possibly know, of course, and she couldn't expect them to understand when she was the one keeping them from the truth.

"He's just going to be really angry, and the common room is going to be unliveable for days," she said dully, and released herself slowly from Ginny.

"Hermione, I'll follow you up to your common room. I don't want you to go alone," her friend said, and took another grip around her waist.

Hermione nodded absently, and let herself be lead across the grounds, and was cursing herself on the inside for her incredible stupidity. Though she didn't really know why he was so angry. Was it because she had gone against him? Because he had been worried? Or cause he realised how dumb she really was?

She didn't say a word to Ginny as they walked up the stairs. All she did was listen to the buzzing sound of Ginny's voice as she talked calmly to her about something Hermione didn't quite catch. Soon enough they reached the portrait, and Ginny departed once she had made sure Hermione was all right.

Hermione found him sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, looking completely lost. She sighed, knowing perfectly well that they had another argument at hand.

"Draco, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to not listen to you," she said as calmly as she could. "I just don't like being bossed around."

"No, you just enjoy bossing others around," he bit, not looking up.

"True," she said with a slight smile. "I'm not going to pretend that I think this is a good trait. It's one of my many, many flaws."

When he didn't answer, she sighed heavily and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Why are you so angry, anyway? Everything worked out fine, I said I'm sorry. I don't know what more to do," she said desperately, wanting more than anything to keep him from being so furious with her.

He suddenly jumped up from the couch and came towards her with a pained look on his face.

"You don't get why I'm angry?" he said in a voice almost deeper than his usual one.

"No, Draco, I don't. I know I didn't listen to you, but I'm sorry for that. And your broom isn't even damaged…"

"I don't care about my stupid broom. I could buy a new one in five minutes," he hissed and turned around.

"Then what the hell is your problem?" she yelled, throwing her arms out.

"I love you," he cried, and wheeled around to face her again. "That is my frigging problem. I love you so much that I don't know what I would do if something happened to you. How does that feel to know? Did it make things less complicated for you?"

She opened and closed her mouth several times, feeling completely numb. He stood before her, breathing heavily in his anger and she watched him with large eyes.

"What would have happened if I hadn't been standing down there to throw that spell and catch you? You could have broken everything in your body for all we know. You could probably have died. Then what would I do? Huh? The stupid incident made me realise I can't bloody live without you, and that's what makes me angry. It makes me angry that I love someone who could never love me back and the one person I'm not supposed to be in love with."

He was screaming. It was so loud that she feared everyone could hear them, but she knew it was ridiculous. She watched him in shock, not knowing what to say or do. Before she had gotten her brain to work again, he had grabbed his cloak and opened the portrait fiercely.

"Draco, wait," she begged, but he climbed out and disappeared, leaving her stunned and confused in the common room

----

**A/N:** Omg, it's drama! I love drama –snicker-


	17. XVI : Something Old, Something New

**A/N: **I'm so happy so many of you are still with me on this thing, and that you seem to enjoy it.

I have some news for you. This is the last flashback chapter! So chapter 17 will be in the prologue time. This chapter is a bit 'rushed' in the sense that it covers a lot of time. I'm sorry if it's a bit quick, but I needed to do the timejumps to explain the plot as well as I could – if that makes sense :P

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**XVI ; Something Old, Something New**

He hadn't talked to her in weeks. He was barely in the common room anymore, and it stabbed just as badly every time she came through the portrait to find it empty. She had no idea where he spent his days, but she had a bad feeling it was the Slytherin common room. Which was a place she definitely would not consider to go look for him.

The entire conversation had played over in her mind time and time again, and she felt more confused than she ever had before. She buried herself in her studies, reading more furiously for N.E.W.T.s than she even had for O.W.L.s, more to drown her thoughts than anything else. 

She spent every day in the library, and she knew people were commenting on it, since they saw her every time they came to use the library. She sat by the same table, by the same window, looking out over the grounds with a glazed expression when she didn't read. 

That afternoon was no exception. She entered the library moments after classes had finished for the day, and sat down with her transfiguration book, ignoring the many stares and whispers people threw after her. Putting every annoying thought at the back of her head, she began revising for transfiguration, flipping the pages periodically and took small notes on her piece of parchment. When she reached the glass orb they had worked on, she stopped writing, feeling sick to her stomach at the memory. She sighed and looked out the window, watching people outside with their friends on the wonderful day, and she felt ridiculous for shutting herself away from her friends when this was their last year together.

Suddenly her eyes fell on a very blond head walking slowly down the road below. She instantly knew this was her chance, and sprung up from the chair, leaving all of her books in a mess on the table. Ignoring people's surprised stares; she nearly ran out of the library and continued down the corridors in with long steps, nearly running down several people.

She finally reached the grounds, and walked down the road she had seen him take, looking desperately around to find him. He was nowhere, and she began feeling completely hopeless. She never saw him anymore. How could she ever talk to him if he didn't want to be found? When her eyes finally found him sitting by the edge of the lake, out of view from the castle, she sighed in relief and knew at that moment what she had to do.

Hermione walked slowly up to him, and hunched down on the ground. She used her hand to steady herself as she sat down next to him, but he didn't look at her at all. He just stared out over the lake, his face looking drawn and tired. She sighed, hating to see him like this. But there was no doubt in her mind anymore. Not one.

"I love you," she said quietly.

And that was what it took for him to snap his head towards her, his eyes large and confused.

"For the longest time I couldn't define what we had. You were my friend, but there was more. We kissed and it just felt right. And then we threw that other thing in the mix, and I couldn't understand why this was happening. And then when you began avoiding me and it hurt so much not to see you I realised what it was. I love you. I don't want to be with anyone else. Ever."

"You can't," he said quietly, his face pained and drawn.

"But I do," she replied fiercely.

"I won't let you."

"Draco, if you wanted me to not love you I would stop if I could. But I can't."

"You don't realise the danger this puts you in. If my father found out, he'd come after you in an instant," Draco said, bowing his head.

"Then he won't find out. No one will. You and I will be the only one to ever know," she insisted, scared by the direction their conversation was taking.

"I don't know if that would work. And we'd have to live our life in secret," he said with a long look at her. 

"Can't we just worry about that when we get there?" she begged. "Please."

"Alright, we'll deal with that later," Draco agreed, and she beamed at him, ignoring the worried look on his face. She reached in and gave his hand a squeeze, before leaving him by the lake again, so relieved she felt like twirling all the way up to the castle.

Instead, she walked calmly back to the library, gathered her stuff together, and decided to spend more time with her friends while there still was any time left of their last year together.

----

She divided her time nicely between studies, her friends and Draco. It was a lot easier than she had realised, and she felt entirely comfortable and happy. It made her a bit angry that when she finally managed to balance everything nicely, their time at Hogwarts was over soon. Very soon, in fact.

She stood up on stage, holding her certificates very proudly with the rest of the just-left-Seventh-years, and she smiled happily around at her friends who were beaming back to her. A time in her life was over, but she was beginning an entirely new one. And it didn't have to be bad. It could be great. She waved at Mrs. Weasley in the audience, who was alternating between beaming and crying. The woman waved enthusiastically back and took yet another picture. Hermione grinned, and looked at the rest of the families gathered in the Great Hall. An uncomfortable churn appeared when her eyes fell on Lucius Malfoy, who sat rigid in his chair with his eyes locked on Draco. She narrowed her eyes, knowing it was probably his 'friends' who had attacked Draco and pulled him into the woods that day because he had not been as cooperative as a Death Eater as they wanted him to be.

Okay, so life wasn't going to be easy, but it could work out well for all she knew. She swallowed heavily, and found Ginny sitting in the audience instead and gave her a big grin. Her friend jumped up from her seat and cheered, making several of the people in the Hall laugh heartily.

Hermione avoided looking at Draco, who she knew looked like the arrogant and smirking bastard his father wanted him to be. She wanted more than anything to throw her arms around him, but that was completely out of the question.

When the ceremony ended, and everyone was leaving the Great Hall for the last time, the atmosphere was a lot less cheerful. Hermione joined her friends in the Gryffindor common room and had tears in her eyes when she had to say goodbye to her classmates.

"We'll see each other again," Lavender promised. "Everyone will see each other again."

"Yeah, we're fighting along with Harry, remember?" Dean winked, and everyone nodded fiercely.

"Damn, I'm going to miss this place." Harry sighed, looking around the common room. "It's not like I have any other home."

Hermione put her arm comfortingly around his shoulders. "It'll work out fine. If all else fails, you can come back and be the Defence professor. That way you get to live here most of the year."

"That's not that bad of an idea, you know," Harry beamed, and she laughed. 

"I don't have bad ideas," she joked, and turned to give Ginny a hug.

"Keep in touch everyone. And I'll see you on the train, I suppose." She smiled, and headed back to her own common room.

Sighing heavily, she went up to her room and packed her trunk slowly, thinking yet again how an era in her life was finished. It felt weird to actually have finished Hogwarts, but people had done it before her, and they had survived somehow. She had to be positive, and not walk around thinking that her world would end because of it.

She levitated her trunk downstairs, and put it down on the floor just as Draco entered. Her face broke into a smile when she realised he came alone. He wrapped her into his arms, and gave her a long hug, before kissing her softly.

"We won't get to talk on the train," Hermione said when they broke free. "So the deal is... I'll go home to my place and start looking for a flat in London and you'll go back to the Manor for the time being."

"I'll be at the Manor while you look for the flat. When you've bought it, I'll tell my father I've got a job in London. He won't object to that."

"Deal," Hermione said, smiling. "How do I get the message to you?"

"Damn, I hadn't thought of that," he said, his smile fading. "I'll send Camy to you and you can keep her until you've found the flat."

"Really?" Hermione asked, looking surprised.

"I don't send many letters," Draco admitted, and gave her another hug. "Don't take too long."

"I won't." She smiled, and broke free from his embrace. "Talk to you soon."

----

Her new flat was a mess. But she loved it. It was moderately big, just enough. It had two bedrooms, a nice living room, a bathroom and a kitchen. All they really needed to live a happy life together in London. Right now, boxes were strewn everywhere as she was still Apparating her stuff from her old room to her new place. She had owled Draco the address two days ago, but she had yet to hear anything at all from him. She assumed he was busy with finding a job, or keeping his father out of the loop. It didn't matter. As long as he came eventually, nothing would matter.

Hermione got a mug out of the box marked kitchen and poured some coffee that she had already made in it. The coffee maker was the first thing she had plugged in, and she rested her back against the counter as she savoured the black liquid. Her eyes rested on the mess, and she sighed in despair, hoping Draco would show up soon so she could get some help on putting the stuff up. Her mother had of course volunteered several times, but Hermione had talked her out of it for obvious reasons. She regretted that dearly now, and contemplated calling her over even if the risk was great.

But Hermone decided it wasn't a good idea, and she continued by herself all afternoon, only interrupted by Harry calling on the phone from his own apartment. Boy, had she missed the telephone and someone who knew how to use it. When the evening neared, she sat down in front of the TV that she would insist to keep even if Draco didn't want it, with an evening snack and watched her favourite comedy show. It calmed her and picked her spirits up like it always did, and she smiled widely to herself. Just as she laughed happily at the joke, she heard a small cough from the doorway. She turned around in surprise, and found a tall, blond figure she hadn't seen in over a month. 

Hermione sprung up from the chair, and launched herself at him with great force. He chuckled warmly as he caught her in his arms, and held her closely. Her smile was so radiant that he became a bit wary about the visit, but he just held her close and tried to forget why he was there in the first place. Hermione was nothing but ecstatic. She gave him a fierce kiss, feeling like everything was right again. The feel of his lips, his arms, his chest was something she could never get enough of, and the thought that they would live there together made her so happy she could barely stand still. 

"Nice place," he said, looking over her shoulder, and she turned around looking at it with a smile.

"Isn't it? I think it's cute," she beamed. "It's a bit empty right now, but these are just my things."

"It looks great." He smiled, kissing her forehead, but looked down at her with a sad smile. She frowned at his expression, but decided to ignore it and grabbed him by the hand.

"Let me give you a tour." She smiled, holding his hand firmly in hers. "Here's the living room. I put in a couch and two chairs, but if you have anything nicer feel free to bring it. This is my TV, and that is staying no matter what you say."

"Oh, that moving pictures Muggle thing," he exclaimed, eyeing the TV show with interest.

Hermione smiled at that, and nodded before turning to the kitchen.

"Kitchen is there. Not at all finished, as you can see. I have to go buy some appliances for my Muggle cooking," she explained quickly. "Do you mind Muggle cooking?"

"Not at all," he said, a bit apprehensively. "Listen, Hermione..."

"Let me just show you the bedroom," she exclaimed, cutting his attempt short.

She smiled lovingly at him as she led him down the hall and into the biggest of the two bedrooms. The only furniture in it at that moment was a large, comfortable double bed with emerald green covers and black pillows resting against the headboard. Hermione wrapped her hands around his waist, and snuggled close, not wanting to let go. 

"Isn't it cute?" she beamed, almost having difficulty to believe that it was all really hers.

"Hermione," he began, and she looked up at him questioningly. "I can't do this."

She froze against him, and a haunted look sprung across his face.

"What do you mean; you can't do this?" she asked in a hollow voice.

"I can't live here with you," he said remorsefully, bowing his head.

Her heart fell in her chest at that moment. Everything seemed to fall down around her, and she didn't even know what to think. Questions filled her head, but she couldn't ask them. They wouldn't come out. Instead, she released herself from him so quickly he couldn't react, and ran out of the bedroom as fast as she could. It only took moments for him to catch up with her in the middle of the hallway, and she felt his hands grab her around the waist and turn her towards him. She fought him with all her might as tears ran down her face, tears she didn't even know she had shed.

He held her in place, even if she tried to wriggle free with all her might.

"My father has decided I should marry Pansy Parkinson," he explained slowly, and she stopped fighting in shock at the words that hit her. She froze, and looked at him with a stony face, tears still leaking from her the corner of her eyes. "When I refused to do that, he immediately realised that there were someone else."

She didn't say anything, and her face was completely free of emotions, even if they raged inside her, tearing her apart.

"If I come to live here he will find out immediately who it is. He will follow me here. He has contacts that will see us together. And he'll come for you," Draco said intensely, as if trying to force every word into her.

He sighed deeply, and released the hold of her frozen body. His hands came up to her face, and he cupped it in his palms using his thumb to dry her tears.

"I love you so much. And I want to live here with you so badly," he whispered. "But not if the cost is your life."

"What if I don't want a life if I can't live it with you?" she asked, but in an emotionless voice that cut through him more than she realised.

"Hermione, you don't mean that. You have so much to do, to experience. You got that internship at St. Mungo's. You have friends, family. I'm nothing in the big picture," he said, shaking his head.

"You're everything, you complete idiot," she cried, banging her fists against his chest. "_Everything!_"

"I know it's painful. I don't think you can even begin to know how I feel myself right now," he muttered. "But you'll live. Things will get better. I promise."

"Are you going to marry Pansy?" Hermione asked, closing her eyes in pain at the mere thought.

"I don't know," he confessed. "I really don't want to, but Merlin only knows what my father will do if I don't."

She knew she had hoped he would say no. That he would never marry anyone but her. That his future was with her. His answer knocked the last breath out of her, and she sank against the wall and fell down to the floor. She hid her face in hands against her knees and cried. She didn't even care that he was still there, that he was watching her with a pained expression.

"Hermione, I love you so much. I know you won't understand this now, and perhaps not ever, but I'm doing this for you. For your protection, so that you can live your life without my father making it hell," he said softly, but she just continued to sob into her own hands, feeling like everything was wrong.

"It'll be alright. You'll have your life; you can be successful, go to the Burrow for Christmas. Marry Ron and have a bunch of little Weasleys," Draco said, and her head snapped up just in time to see the pained grimace on his face.

"You're sick," she spat, drying her eyes fiercely.

"What?" he said in surprise, raising his eyebrow.

"I don't want to marry Ron. I don't want to marry God knows who else," she said gloomily. "I want you."

He sighed, and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Congratulations, you've given me a life of loneliness. A life without the one person I want to be with," she said, not caring if she hurt him at that point.

"At least it'll be a life at all."

"Yeah," she replied bitterly, not moving from her spot on the hallway floor.

"Hermione... I love you. I'll always love you. And I've promised to protect you forever, and that is why I'm doing this. If my father hurt you, I don't know what I would do," he said desperately, now hunching down beside her.

"I love you, too," she whispered, biting back the other things she wanted to say. He smiled sadly at her, before he leaned in and gave her a last, tender kiss. She closed her eyes, trying to memorize the feeling of his lips on hers, to savour it forever. When his lips left hers she still kept them closed, picturing him saying it was all a mean joke. She opened them just in time to see him walking away from her.

She didn't leave the spot on the floor for hours. The evening began to proceed into night, and she still sat there staring emptily into the wall on the other side. Soon, she drifted into sleep right there on the floor, her head lolling carelessly to the side.

The morning after she woke up feeling stiff, and found herself on the hallway floor. Disoriented and confused she stumbled to her feet, and looked down at the spot. That's when it hit her. That was the last spot she would ever have with Draco. The last place they would kiss. He had left.

Emptiness filled her as she stumbled across the floor into the kitchen. She watched all the boxes with growing disdain, wondering how it all had happened. How her promising future had dissolved into nothingness. She sipped absently at the coffee, but she couldn't taste it. It didn't even heat her up. She felt entirely cold all over. Her emotions were raw, almost as if they were outside her skin, pulsating.

She began picking out of the boxes again, book after book were stacked on floor since her bookshelves weren't up yet. Putting her things up around the flat alone made everything ten times worse. She kept running all these "what if's around in her head, hearing him joke about her amount of books, seeing him put her bookshelf up. When she found herself blinded by tears again, she jumped towards the phone and pressed the number before she could regret her decision. 

"Hello," she heard on the other end, and breathed in relief.

"Harry," she greeted. "It's me."

"Oh, hi, Hermione. How's everything working out?"

_Horribly._

"Just fine, thanks. I'm just a bit bored. Would you mind coming over and help out?"

"Sure, I'll be right there."

She dried her tears quickly, and put a large smile on just as she heard a crack from her entrance hallway. Seconds later he came into view, and her fake smile turned real by his presence. She darted forwards and gave him a warm hug.

"How are you? With the chasing Voldemort and everything?" she asked, and suddenly felt a bit dumb for being so crushed by her problems when he had to go up against the dark lord.

"I'm good, actually. I'm making progress, which is always good. Thanks for convincing me to let the Order help with the Horcruxes. It's turning out to be a lot easier than handling it alone," he said with a smile, and looked around her apartment. "Wow, you've done well."

"Thanks," she said, looking around appraisingly. "The worst right now is my books, I suppose. I haven't put the shelves up yet."

"I'll help with that," he volunteered, and she pointed out the pile of planks that came in the package.

They tackled it together, with an odd mixture of the Muggle way and the magic way. Some of the silly mistakes they made lead to laughter, and then some frustration and snappishness from the both of them. In the end she was immensely happy he was there. She would probably have burst out crying from trying to put together the first two planks.

"So, when's your flat mate arriving?" Harry asked as she passed him the hammer, and he aimed at the nail with his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth.

"Oh… that… fell through," she breathed, trying to seem as if it was no big deal.

"Oh no, that's bad. Are you finding a replacement?"

"No, I don't think I want to." She swallowed, not really feeling up to living with anyone at all.

"How are you going to manage the rent, then?" he asked in concern, and she turned her head towards him in surprise. She hadn't even thought of that yet. Rent had never been an issue for Draco, and she could have hit herself on the head for forgetting something so crucial.

"I'll manage," she replied quickly, but wondered how she could. Perhaps she would need to get another room mate. Sure, once she started her internship at St. Mungo's in a month, she would get paid, but would she be paid enough?

"Come to me if you have any issues," he said then, but she shook her head.

"I can't take money from you, Harry," she said sternly.

"Why not?"

"Cause I just can't. It's not up to you to save my arse," she replied, putting together the last two pieces of her large bookshelf. "Let's get this thing up."

Both of them took a good hold of it as it lay on the floor, and managed to hoist it up against the wall, and put an anti-removal charm on the back so it wouldn't fall down. The result was pleasant, and Hermione smiled gratefully at her friend, whose hair was sticking up at odd ends. She laughed and tried to pat it down. Some of it stuck, but that regular strain that just wouldn't, stood tall at the back of his head.

"Thanks for helping." She smiled. "Want to stay for lunch?"

"I would, but I have an Order meeting in a few minutes," he confessed, grabbing his cloak from the back of her armchair.

"When are you going to let the rest of us join?" she asked with hands crossed over her chest, watching him get dressed to leave.

"You know I want you to fight by my side. I just want to deal with this part alone," he explained, obviously a bit exasperated from the same conversation.

"But you're not doing it alone," she protested and he shot her a stern look.

"Hermione, just let me do this. When the time is right, we'll all do the right thing. Together," he said calmly, and put his hand on her shoulder before turning to leave. "Speak to you soon."

"Yeah."

She watched as he Disapparated, and felt immediately empty when he was gone. She looked around what was now her place, but it now seemed entirely different than it had yesterday. Yesterday it had been the symbol of her future, her plans. Now it was the symbol of her struggles and of what she would have to overcome.

Hermione sighed as she began putting her books up on the shelves, letting herself drown in the titles, trying to remember what they were about. When she finished, she pulled one of them out and began reading, slowly letting herself get caught up in it. But it wasn't how it used to be. Things still mulled around in her head crying for attention. What about rent? What about her future? Could she really move on?

She got the wireless phone in her hand, and called her landlady.

"Hey, this is Hermione Granger," she said cheerfully, almost surprising herself. "I wondering if you have the account number I have to wire the rent to?"

"My dear," the old lady said in the other end. "Your rent has been paid."

"Really?" Hermione asked in confusion. She couldn't remember paying.

"For an entire year. Your nice young friend was here," the lady said. "Such a polite young man."

Harry. Hermione gritted her teeth in despair. She didn't want his charity. She could manage.

"And so handsome too. Never seen such wonderful grey eyes before."

_Grey?_ Hermione sat bolt upright in shock, resting her head in her free hand.

"When was he there?" she asked, her voice a lot flatter this time.

"Oh, last night. Very nice young man," the lady informed, and Hermione sighed.  
"Alright. Thanks, Mrs. Maple," she said quietly, and hung up after the lady had said her goodbyes.

She fell backwards into the chair and sighed heavily. She felt so dirty, in a way. He had paid her rent for an entire year, yet they weren't even together. They probably wouldn't even see each other except for rather awkward moments now and again. It was as if he was paying her for her services the previous year. She closed her eyes and knew she could do nothing about it but try to live her life.

**A/N**: I am well aware that you all hate me right now, but it has to fit with the prologue, guys! If you've forgotten what happened you should maybe go back and read it, cause the next chapter will jump right back into prologue time. And we're half way there, guys! Thanks for all reviews and praise and criticism and for just reading. :D


	18. XVII : Reunion

**A/N:** Prologue time! I'm glad you think it's getting nicely back into the prologue setting. And hopefully the transition will continue to be easy. I want it to be _one_ story – but one where Draco and Hermione's past is like an understory. But still, I don't want it to seem awkward and almost like it's two stories instead of one.

Err. Enough rambling! -.- lol.

----

**XVII ; Reunion**

Ginny had her eyes transfixed on her during the entire story. She watched her friend pour out her heart, memories she had buried deep down, perhaps more for her own sake than for Ginny's. She could have told it quickly, the mainlines. But once the memories had been dug up, there seemed to be no stopping them. After finishing the last day, the day he left, she felt empty again. Excruciatingly empty.

She hadn't moved on. She had buried herself in her work, refusing all blind dates and fix ups Ginny and Luna tried to perform. Her only dating experience had been a complete disaster, and she had abandoned it, knowing she wasn't at all ready. She sighed, watching the fire with the memories still swirling around in her head, as if teasing her with what she couldn't have.

"Merlin... Hermione, I never knew," Ginny said with a pained expression.

"I know. I'm sorry," she replied, looking remorsefully at her friend. "I wanted to tell you, but everything was so complicated. Bringing other people into it was just... not an option."

"I understand," Ginny said quickly. "I just wish I could have been there for you."

"I wish you could have too," Hermione answered, remembering that horrific year alone bitterly.

"Who would have known? You and Malfoy," her friend said, shaking her head. "That'll send ripples through the crowd."

"They won't find out," Hermione said quickly. "No one can know."

"Malfoy Senior is on to you, Hermione. There's no reason to keep it quiet anymore."

"And you think they'll understand? Sorry, Ginny, but I don't think they will," she commented, knowing she loved the people she considered family, but they could be extremely narrow minded when it came to certain people - perhaps with good reason.

"I don't know, but do you really want to keep something like this from them?"

"I'll think about it," Hermione relented. "I guess your mother kind of knew all along anyway."

"My guess is that she did." Ginny chuckled. "Things like that rarely pass her by, and that conversation you had with her on Christmas definitely gave a lot away."

"I'm surprised she never told anyone or asked me about it," Hermione pondered.

"It is a rather sensitive issue," Ginny replied. "Talking about sensitive issues… You've got to pack and get out of here."

"Now?"

"Yes, now. The sooner, the better. And moving you after dark is probably better than in broad daylight," she said, and got up from her comfortable seat. She dragged Hermione away from the heated room, and into her large bedroom, holding the exact double bed it had contained three years ago. They began packing quietly, both weighed heavily by the reason why they were. This wasn't a holiday. It was a flight for her life.

"Oh God, Gin. What about my job?" Hermione cried suddenly, dropping her sweater unfolded into the suitcase.

Ginny gave her a comforting glance, looking sad on her behalf.

"I don't think there's much we can do about that," she confessed, and Hermione's shoulders fell. "You won't be able to go in to the hospital at all. And we don't have any reason for you to take a leave. Unless you're pregnant."

Hermione laughed bitterly. "Pregnant. I haven't had sex for almost three years."

"Really?" Ginny exclaimed, looking horrified.

"Really," Hermione confirmed with a grimace. "Remember Colin?"

"That guy you went out with once?"

"Yeah, we went out a few times the spring after Draco left. And… we had sex once," she admitted, and looked into her suitcase, trying to suppress the memory. "It was the reason I stopped going out with him."

"Oh Merlin, that bad?" Ginny asked, and Hermione looked up with a grimace.

"I thought if I just had sex with someone else I wouldn't think that much about Draco anymore. But it was horrible. There was no real attraction, no bonding... it just reminded me of how Draco made me feel and how Colin definitely didn't make me feel."

"Hermione, maybe he was just really bad." Ginny smiled.

"Maybe, but I don't think he even was that bad, you know. It just felt entirely wrong. I couldn't do it."

"So you haven't had sex since?"

"No." Hermione sighed, and closed her suitcase with a thud.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Ginny said in concern, and Hermione let out a hearty laugh.

"You think the fact that I haven't had sex in years is worse than Lucius Malfoy planning to off me."

"Well, I'm sorry. I can't even imagine it." Ginny chuckled, and helped Hermione close her overfilled suitcase.

"That's cause you have Harry," she reminded her, looking sadly around the room.

"What do we do about this place?" she said then.

"Don't worry. We still pay the rent for it. It's not like we have to pay rent at Grimmauld Place." Ginny shrugged, taking Hermione's suitcase of the bed and walked out into the living room.

"You're coming too?" Hermione asked in surprise.

"I thought I'd keep you company over there, at least for a while. But I'll come back to get my things later."

Hermione smiled gratefully at her, just as the two girls looked at each other and knew it was time to leave. They Apparated out of the flat, Ginny leaving a few seconds before Hermione. Both of them found themselves at the end of Grimmauld Place, heading down the road for number twelve. Hermione thought a feeling of doom was perhaps the right way to describe the atmosphere as their steps echoed against the stone walls of the building.

They walked into number twelve without hesitating, and Hermione heard buzzing around the kitchen, where the members always gathered. The old house looked almost like it always had, though less dusty. Dobby had managed to get the portrait of Mrs. Black of the wall, and the horrible screaming had ceased. The place looked more liveable, though still as dark and gloomy as ever. Hermione sighed at the thought of staying there, but reminded herself of Sirius who had been shut up there for ages. And look what had happened to him. She shuddered involuntarily, and put the thought in the back of her mind.

She gave Ginny a quick smile, and they entered the kitchen that seemed to quiver with life. It was obviously still the aftermath of a meeting, as everyone seemed to be eating one of Molly's dinners. Hermione dropped her suitcase to the floor.

"Surprise." She smiled, throwing her hands out.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at the two girls in shock. What was left of the Order was there, and thankfully that was indeed most of it. Ron wasn't, and Hermione felt a strong pinch in her stomach again, knowing he was gone forever. Bill was gone; Mad-Eye was gone; Emmeline Vance had died; and Hagrid. But Hermione was grateful for the people that were still there. The rest of the Weasleys, Harry, Remus and Tonks; McGonagall. Other Aurors she didn't really have much contact with, but they were helpful.

"Hermione, what on earth are you doing here?" Remus asked in surprise, and Hermione noticed he sat with his arm around Tonks.

"I'm moving in," she said with a weak smile.

Buzzing appeared at that, everyone looking around at each other, waiting for someone to explain.

"Wonderful to see you, dear," Mrs. Weasley then said, and hugged her carefully. She had grown more tired and looked older, but both she and her husband were coping well all things considered.

Hermione put her suitcase by the wall, and Mrs. Weasley volunteered to put it upstairs for her. The older lady disappeared at that, and everyone else still eyed Hermione.

"So, you're not happy to see me then." She laughed, and they all responded with the same gesture.

"It's not that. You know we love to see you. We just know this can't be good," Tonks replied, looking at her with concern.

"Well, you're right about that," Hermione agreed, and sat down at the table beside George, and gave him a warm smile. He gave her a sideways hug that she answered warmly.

"I'll explain," Harry said, from the end of his table, putting his fork back on the table. At that moment, Mrs. Weasley came back down and took down two more plates for Hermione and Ginny. Hermione looked at him in surprise, before she remembered Draco had said he would talk to Harry about it. She wondered how on earth he had even gotten to Harry, who lived as protected as possible.

"We all know how Lucius Malfoy has been gaining power," Harry began, and Hermione and Ginny gave each other confused glances. They had definitely been kept out of the loop on this one, though they had stopped being part of the Order after the battle, so it wasn't that odd.

The members nodded at his statement, keeping their eyes fixed on him.

"We also know he's been planning something for a while, but we haven't known exactly what. Basically because our informant hadn't been let in on the plans either."

_Wait. Informant?_

"You know, I'm growing steadily more curious of who this informant is. He's been giving us a lot of helpful information over the past year," Fred said before moving his fork up to his lips.

"I'm actually bringing him here tomorrow. He's done a lot for us, as you've already said, and I consider him trustworthy. He would be a great asset to the Order."

Everyone eyed Harry at that, most looking curious and expectant. Hermione looked very apprehensive. She kept wondering who it could be, but had a feeling it wasn't good news for her anyway.

"Back to business," Harry then said and everyone nodded. "We've now figured out what Lucius' plans are. Unfortunately... his plans are to kill Hermione."

A simultaneous gasp went through the room, and Mrs. Weasley wheeled around in horror. Everyone looked at Hermione, who smiled weakly at them.

"But... why?" Remus exclaimed, looking perhaps more concerned than any of them. Hermione put her hand comfortingly over his, and smiled reassuringly.

"We don't exactly know. Apparently, it's for personal reasons of some sort."

Hermione suddenly felt uneasy, and gave Ginny a glance full of warning. Ginny looked challengingly back, undoubtedly telling her the wise thing was to speak up. But Hermione kept her mouth shut. They couldn't know. She couldn't bear seeing their disappointed expressions.

"This is insane," Fred commented, shaking his head. "I don't understand what personal reasons could be that strongly motivated. He's trying to rise as the new Dark Lord, yet he uses a lot of time on one person's death."

"It could just be that I'm Muggle-born." Hermione shrugged, but knew it was futile.

"He's got a million of Muggle-borns he could choose. Why you?" Charlie argued.

"Did you even expect this, Hermione?" Mr. Weasley asked from his seat in the corner.

"No. I didn't," she answered truthfully. She hadn't expected it. Not after all this time.

"Whatever the reasons are, and we'll uncover them soon enough, Hermione will have to live here, and she can't leave this house, not even for the tiniest thing," Harry announced, and Hermione sunk lower onto the table.

"Wow, doesn't this bring an unpleasant déjà vu," she said gloomily before she could stop herself.

"Don't even go there," Harry said fiercely, gritting his teeth. "This'll be different."

She knew he wanted it to be. But she wasn't so sure.

----

Hermione slept well, all things considered that night, but was ridden by dreams of the past. Things she never really dwelled too much on, because the happiest memories seemed to be the worst to relive. Sometimes she tried to remember the fights just so she could feel that anger again, but all it reminded her of was the passion.

She got dressed quickly, and went downstairs for breakfast. The only other occupant of the house was already there, sipping on his mug of coffee as he read the Daily Prophet from the day before. Fresh news were rare at Grimmauld place.

"Morning, Remus." She smiled, and poured herself a mug of her own.

"Morning," he replied cheerfully, and watched her sit down across the table. "You doing alright?"

"I'm good." She sighed. "All things considered. It's weird being back here though."

"I suppose it must be. I don't think about it much since I live here all the time." He chuckled.

"It's kind of like going back in time to our Fifth Year, and then as the war raged. What if we knew, eh?" she philosophised, and was glad none of them had known who would have survived and who wouldn't.

"Ignorance is a bliss," he replied softly.

"Definitely," she stated dryly, and knew that was exactly why it was better that no one knew.

"Did Ginny go with Harry last night?"

"Yeah, I told her to go. It'd just be selfish of me to ask her to stay," Hermione shrugged, still feeling like she was drowning in the weird feeling of déjà vu.

"I think it's allowed to be selfish when someone wants your head on a stick."

Hermione chuckled and shook her head. "There's no reason for her to stay for me. I have you here, remember?"

"Ah yes, I'm such marvellous company. An old git," he teased, and folded the paper together. He placed it on the table beside him and leaned back in his chair.

"Oh shut it." Hermione smiled. "You're not an old git."

"An old git with an incredibly too young girlfriend."

"And Tonks wouldn't want it any other way." Hermione chuckled.

They ended up sitting in the kitchen all day, conversing casually about the odds and ends of life. He asked her about St. Mungo's, and she answered willingly about the job she loved, but would now lose. Who knew if she'd get it back when the entire nightmare was over? She would probably have to adjust to the thought of looking for something else to do. She knew her grades gave her an advantage, and couldn't see herself having too much trouble finding something else.

"Harry has some influence. He'll do what he can to save your job," Remus assured her, and she sighed, but nodded. She knew they wouldn't give her any perks just cause she was a friend of Harry Potter, but she supposed he could try.

Later that day, Ginny walked in being her normal, perky self. Hermione welcomed the optimism and great spirits, even under the circumstances.

"Harry is picking up the informant. And there's a meeting scheduled in an hour," Ginny told them, and they all exchanged worried looks.

"We've been wondering all along who it could be," Remus confessed. "He seems to have an awful lot of insight to the happenings."

"I have my suspicions of who it is," Ginny proclaimed, and Hermione shot her a dark look.

"No, you don't," Hermione growled, but Ginny just shook her head.

"You're in denial, love."

Hermione shook her head at Remus who wore a questioning look. Soon enough the kitchen began filling with Order members, all bursting at the seams from curiosity. Hermione knew Ginny was right. She was in denial, and it couldn't be anyone else. Well it could be, but the coincidences were too many.

She watched them all talk excitedly amongst themselves, and her stomach became heavier and heavier as the minutes flew by. The hour came faster than she cared to enjoy. The order members took their seats by the table and waited for Harry and the mystery man to enter. Hermione was just dreading the entire thing, even if the Order members seemed to be more fired up than they had been in a long time.

After a long wait, the kitchen door opened and Harry entered. Behind him followed none other than Draco Malfoy. Hermione's heart dropped, and she stared into the table as the entire room went dead quiet. She knew they were all staring at him, wondering what the hell he was doing there. But she couldn't get herself to look at him. Couldn't let the traitorous feelings surface so strongly again.

"Malfoy? The informant is _Malfoy_?" George cried and threw his hands up in the air.

"I don't believe this," Tonks said with large eyes, and the entire table erupted in angry chatter. The reactions were just as Hermione had feared and she tensed in her seat, knowing the truth would surface one day. When they found Lucius, he would tell them everything. And they would hate her for it. For sleeping with the enemy. She suddenly felt someone clutching her hand underneath the table, and she gave Ginny a grateful glance.

"Shut up!" Harry roared, and the entire room fell quiet at once. "I don't care what your personal feelings are in this. He's on our side whether you like it or not."

"But why would he be? It doesn't make sense," Fred cried, and murmurs of agreement followed.

"I have my reasons," Draco's deep voice said, and Hermione couldn't keep herself from looking anymore.

He looked almost exactly like he did the day he left. Tall, broad around the shoulders. But his hair was shorter. And he wore an exhausted expression that she had seen on Snape the few times he left his guard down. She swore to herself when the pain inside roared free, and she cursed him for having entered the room.

"And do you know these reasons, Harry?" Mrs. Weasley asked carefully.

"No, I don't. But even the spies deserve some privacy," he said quickly, and went around to his end of the table. He beckoned Draco to follow, and to Hermione's horror he was seated right across from her as the others scooted over to make room for him. She lowered her look to the table again, swallowing heavily.

"Here's the deal," Harry began. "We need more insight into Lucius's plans, and the only one who can give is that is Malfoy."

"Erm. I'm afraid he doesn't tell me as much as you seem to think. Not about this," Draco confessed. "I just recently found out."

"But why?" Tonks asked. "He seemed to have invited you into everything else."

"He has his reasons for excluding me, but I'd rather not tell."

"So this is how it's going to be?" Charlie asked angrily. "We'll tell you everything, but you'd 'rather not tell'?"

"Look, I'll tell you anything about me. Anything at all. But not this. This is complicated, and it's personal," Draco said earnestly, baffling the listeners immensely. Hermione looked up for the first time and met his eyes for a short moment. She knew immediately that it wasn't a wise move. Her heart began racing at once, making her breathe heavily. A moment later his eyes fixed on the necklace she still wore every day, and his face caught an expression she couldn't quite read.

"Even if he seems to be excluding you, I need you to see what you can dig up on this. We can't stop him and his plan if we have no clue on what it entails," Harry said.

"Harry, may I ask a question?" Tonks asked, and Harry nodded apprehensively. "I don't mean to be rude, but if Lucius Malfoy is the one who wants to kill Hermione, how wise was it to give up her location to his son?"

The rest of the Order nodded at that, and Hermione felt her panic rise. This was… not good. And she was right. Draco turned in his seat to face Tonks, and she could feel the anger pulsating underneath his surface.

"You think I would give her up to him?" Draco asked in a cold voice.

"Well, you certainly have the opportunity," Charlie said from his seat.

"You could have been working yourself up in a good light with the Order for a year, and then casually revealed the plan to us and now you know her location," George pointed out, and horror stricken faces reached across the table. Though Hermione's was horror stricken for an entirely different reason.

Without a word, Draco rose from his seat and strode out of the kitchen with long, angry steps. Hermione saw the pained expression on his face, and sighed heavily. The kitchen fell quiet, with Tonks looking completely remorseful.

"I didn't mean to start that," she said quietly to Harry.

"It's okay. It was an honest question," he said with a dark look at George.

"I guess someone has to go fix this." Charlie sighed, and to everyone's surprise Hermione rose from her seat.

"I'll go," she said sternly, but everyone protested wildly. Except Ginny.

"You can't go. What if he abducts you?" Fred cried, and some of the other guys murmured in agreement.

"Fine, then one of you can stand in the doorway and hold watch to check that I'm not whisked away," she said angrily. She put her hand on her hips and watched them with an angry grimace on her face. Everyone looked entirely shocked by her voice and expression. "So, who's it going to be?"

George rose from his seat before anyone else could. "I did this. I'll watch."

She nodded quickly, but didn't wait for him as she left the kitchen and hoped Draco hadn't left. Luckily she found him in the other room, looking into the fireplace with his hands crossed over his chest. A stab in her chest took her by surprise, and she had to draw an extra deep breath to calm herself. She turned towards George who was standing in the doorway, and knew she had to keep her voice down.

"Hey," she said softly as she reached him, and he turned in surprise. When he saw her, he turned against the door, and snorted at the sight of George.

"Your babysitter?" he huffed, avoiding her gaze now.

"Draco, give them a break," she said in a low voice. "They don't know any of this. They have no idea what your reasons are, the prehistory to all of this. All they know is that you're Lucius's son and now you're suddenly here."

"It's just so incredibly unfair to be accused of taking you to him, when all I've done these past three years is try to keep him away from you," he said, and the pain in his voice didn't go unnoticed.

"I know that," she said intently. "But they don't, and you can't expect them to understand. They don't know anything. For all they know, we're still enemies."

"You're wearing the necklace," he said slowly, watching her closely now.

"Never took it off." She smiled and noticed that his tense figure loosened up a bit.

"Even after what I did?"

"You were right… I didn't understand that you did it for my protection, but the necklace reminded me. And I tried my very best to move on. Like you told me. After all, you were getting married."

She shrugged slightly at it, but couldn't quite fight off how much it bothered her.

"So you managed to move on?" he asked softly.

"I can't lie. I haven't completely," she said. Alright that was a lie. She hadn't at all. "But I'm trying my hardest, and that's why it's so hard to have you around. It's easier to pretend you no longer exist."

"I understand that," he commented quietly.

"Look, get back inside. They don't mean to be like this. They're just really scared," she said, on the verge of tears now. "We lost so many people we cared about. The Weasleys had it worse than anyone. Two of them went. Two people in their family died, Draco. And as far as they're concerned, I'm family. Now my life is under threat as well, and no one wants to go through the losses again."

She could see him relent. His entire body loosened, and the hands dropped from his chest. He sighed heavily, and moved his hand outwards to signal for her to go in first. She smiled carefully at him, and turned around with her hands still tucked securely over her chest. As she walked back, she raised her eyebrow at George who looked entirely baffled, even if he hadn't heard a word of the conversation.

The entire table looked up as they came back inside, and Hermione took her seat ignoring the looks everyone sent her. Draco sat down as well, but no one spoke. It was eerily quiet until Draco gave a slight cough.

"Sorry everyone, touchy subject," he said quickly, and turned to Harry to wait for the continuance.

"Right," Harry said, but sounded thoroughly confused. "Yeah… Malfoy goes back to the Manor to continue his work there. Any sign of activity will help us. Any detail may be important."

Draco nodded, and Hermione saw a determined look on his face. At that moment realisation hit her hard. He would die for her if he could. And it scared her. It scared her senseless.

"Everyone else continues their duties. Hermione stays here and leaves under no circumstances what so ever. Ginny, you should really stay here or at my place. We don't know if they know the location of your flat."

Everyone nodded quietly, and the meeting soon dissolved.

"Who's staying for dinner?" Mrs. Weasley called, and a handful of hands shot up. All the Weasleys were staying, as well as Harry and Tonks. "What about you, Draco?"

Everyone's eyebrows shot up as she used his first name, and he looked even more surprised than anyone else.

"I really shouldn't be away from the Manor too long, but thank you so much for the offer. I'll be sure to take you up on it some other time, Mrs. Weasley," he said in that astounding politeness, though it didn't seem false this time. Oddly pleasant, in fact.

"Oh, please do call me Molly," she said with a dismissive hand movement. "It's a pity you can't stay. Be careful."

He nodded and smiled charmingly at her, before turning towards the rest of them. He gave a slight bow of the head before he strolled out of there, leaving it quiet for a moment before chatter erupted among the astonished Order members. Those who weren't staying for dinner soon left, but the conversation continued fiercely amongst the remaining people. Hermione left them sitting by the table as they argued about today's events and joined Mrs. Weasley by the kitchen counter where she was preparing them dinner.

"Thank you," Hermione said in a low voice, knowing perfectly well that Mrs. Weasley was perhaps the only one in that room except Ginny who didn't live completely in the dark on what the situation was really like.

"No problem, dear," Mrs. Weasley said in a warm voice. "I haven't forgotten what you told me that Christmas, Hermione."

"I know you haven't," she replied quietly. "And I really appreciate it. Can I help with anything?"

"No, dear. Just go sit down. This day must have been weird for you."

"I'll say." Hermione sighed and smiled at the motherly lady before returning to her seat by the table.

"So what did you say to him, Hermione?" Tonks asked curiously before she had even gotten comfortable in her chair.

"Not that much. I just reminded him of the situation, I guess," Hermione said evasively, giving Ginny a quick glance. Her friend put an arm around her shoulder supportively, and Hermione smiled gratefully at her.

"I can't say this doesn't surprise me, though," Tonks said quietly, and gave Remus a quick glance.

"I don't think any of us understands what this is really about," Remus replied. "But as long as it brings him to our side, I suppose that's all we need to know."

"It'll probably come undone eventually," Harry predicted. "I have a feeling this can't stay hidden for long. He seems too jumpy."

Hermione swallowed, and knew he was right. Her presence complicated the entire ordeal, and they would all know eventually. Her instincts told her to come clean now, but she couldn't. Imagining the look on their faces held her back.

----

**A/N:** I'm really glad so many have enjoyed it so far, and I hope the new setting doesn't change that. Thank you for all reviews, alerts and favourites. They've been spamming my inbox, and it makes me increeeedibly happy:D


	19. XVIII : Revelation

**A/N:** I just posted a oneshot called 'Malfoys Don't Cry'. Please check it out if you feel like reading romance or err..fluff. to be honest :P. ANYWHO. I'm putting this in before I head to bed. :)

Warning: I have a thing for drama. And there is drama in this chapter. It was actually one of my favourite things to write!

----

**XVIII ; Revelation**

Several days passed without Draco coming to the Headquarters. The uncertainty made her absolutely paranoid. She looked at the kitchen door with mixed dread and hopefulness at seeing him standing there. Knowing that their secret would unfold somehow, but not knowing how and why, also made her feel rather apprehensive.

She kept herself busy by reading and talking to Remus and Ginny, and occasionally the other members who stopped by from time to time. Being surrounded by them all again made her feel good and slightly nostalgic. She had been so wrapped up in her work that she hadn't seen many people except Ginny and Harry on a regular basis. Now it felt as if she was regaining the contact again with the people she considered her own family. She wondered how long that would last, though.

That afternoon it was just her and Remus seated by the table, both wrapped up in a book each. They liked it that way, both almost equally interested in literature. They didn't need to speak, the other's presence was enough to not feel immensely lost or alone. A sudden chuckle sounded from the door, and Hermione's head turned towards it, finding Draco leaned against the doorway with his hands across his chest. Remus had followed her gaze as well, and straightened up slightly at the sight of the tall man. She noticed how Draco had changed just then. His features were more pronounced. He looked more experienced and probably was. He was most definitely a man.

"What are you laughing at?" she asked in an amused voice, knowing exactly what he was laughing at.

"The familiar sight of you with your nose in a book," he answered easily, and swooped down beside her. He lifted the book up a bit. "A History of Magical Stones."

His smile faltered slightly and he looked up into her face. Hermione herself was smiling widely.

"Cute coincidence," she smirked and turned the page with an overdone movement.

"Haha," he stated dryly. "See anyone you like?"

"I quite like the one I already have," she said simply, and ignored the piercing stare Remus sent them.

"I'm sure Liam is thrilled at that," Draco commented with a smirk. 

"Depends. He's been gone for a long while," she said calmly, trying to sound unaffected.

"He probably has his reasons," he replied. "And what the hell kind of name is Liam anyway?"

"Maybe his mother had to come up with it on the spot?" Hermione said challengingly, giving him a stern look. He laughed loudly at that, and shook his head. She noticed that his hair didn't bounce as much as it used to. It was definitely shorter, but it suited him.

"Why would she have to come up with it on the spot?" Remus asked with a questioning look.

Hermione gave him a crooked smile, and was saved from the answer by a sudden sound from the fireplace made them all look up, and Remus gave a great sigh.

"An Order call. I better take that," he said with an apprehensive look at Hermione and Draco. She sent him a reassuring smile and he left the kitchen in a hurry.

"Wow, alone for the first time in three years," Draco mused, and leaned back in his chair.

"Who would have known we'd ever be alone again the day you left?" she asked a bit colder than she realised, and she noticed the worrying look he sent her.

"I can't change the fact that I left."

"I know," she said, and got up from the chair as if it had burnt her. "Want some coffee?"

"Sure," he replied slowly, sighing a bit.

She went up to the kitchen counter and got three mugs from the cupboard, knowing Remus would probably like some when he returned. Trying to block out his presence, she put the kettle on with elaborate movements and concentrated on the task of making coffee. Maybe that's why it surprised her so much when he came up behind her and leaned against the counter with one arm on either side of her. He had trapped her in and she felt every bit of his body against her back. Her breath caught in her throat as memories came surging back, sending heat waves through her body.

"What are you doing?" she breathed, and he leaned in closer.

"You drive my crazy," he whispered against her ear and the feel of his breath sent chills down her spine. It was unreal. Unreal to have him so close after so long, and she couldn't fight it, no matter how bad she wanted to.

She concentrated on breathing in and out, and didn't even stop focusing on her breath as he grabbed her waist and turned her towards him. His face was so close she could smell his scent. He smelled like he always had, and it made her feel light headed and completely empty of self control. She could never resist him and now was not an exception. In and out. Let the breath in. Let it out. He bent closer as she kept her insane concentration on breathing and his lips came so close they almost touched hers. 

"Merlin, I've missed this," he said against her lips, making her quiver in expectation against her own will. When he closed his lips over hers, she surrendered immediately, as she knew she would. She had no will power when it came to the reactions he evoked in her, and she knew it. In a desperate hunger and intense release, she pressed herself against him and answered him so eagerly that he moaned against her as their tongues entwined heatedly.

"Christ! Can't you two keep it in check?" Ginny hissed from the doorway, and Draco sprung away from her as if he had been burnt. Hermione sighed heavily as she lost the feel of him, but quickly snapped out of it and clapped her hand over her mouth.

"Oh God," she exclaimed and turned towards the counter.

"Just be glad it was me," Ginny said quietly as she turned around to look into the other room. "Harry and Remus are in there talking about something or another."

Hermione turned to find Draco looking horrified, and she waved her hand quickly.

"She knows."

"She knows?" he asked in disbelief, his mouth hanging open.

"What did you think would happen when you suddenly stood in our living room saying Lucius wanted my head on a plate?" Hermione asked dryly as she took out two more mugs and got the coffee of the plate.

"You two really need to keep away from each other. You never know who'll walk through the doors at this place," Ginny chastised and sat down at the table.

"It's been three years," Draco complained loudly and he too took a seat by the table again. "I would jump her right now if it weren't for you people."

"You just did," Ginny reminded him dryly, and he eyed her with a mock-stern expression.

"How much does she know?" he asked suddenly.

"Everything," Hermione stated from the counter.

"Everything?"

"Every little detail," Ginny confirmed with a smirk. "Including how good you are in bed."

"Ginny," Hermione cried with a scandalised voice and felt that traitorous blush creep into her cheeks.

Draco, on the other hand, chuckled at the comment and watched Hermione with his eyebrows raised suggestively as she walked past him. He got no chance to comment on it, however, since Harry and Remus entered the kitchen at that moment. Hermione passed the coffee mugs around and they all sat in comfortable silence for a while. A thought suddenly hit her with sudden force, and anger piled through her.

"So," she said, turned to Draco. "How's the wife?"

The other three looked at them in surprise, Remus and Harry looking more than confused at this.

"There is no wife," he answered quickly as he looked her straight in the eyes. Her face fell into a surprised expression, and mixed emotions ran through her. He hadn't married Pansy. She didn't know if she should be relieved or angry.

"Erm…" she said with a dumbfounded expression. "I thought... Pansy... erm."

"We were engaged," he said, dropping his gaze to the mug in his hands at that. "She died during the war."

"Oh. I'm sorry," Hermione said, but felt so guilty about the fact that she really wasn't sorry.

"Don't be," he replied quickly. "My father forced the engagement through. He threatened to... find whoever it was that stood in the way."

"Wow, that's brutal," Harry said slowly. "Who stood in the way?"

"That's not important," Draco replied quietly, and took a sip of his coffee at that.

Hermione still couldn't believe that none of them could connect the dots. Not even Remus seemed to catch up on the ongoing pattern. She looked at Ginny, who shook her head as well at the ignorance of the others.

----

Draco came by on several occasions after that, but they were never alone. He stayed for dinner after a few meetings, or discussed literature with Remus, the Dark Arts with Tonks. Quidditch with the Weasleys, the Twin's joke shop and the fall of Voldemort with Harry. It almost seemed as if people had to try immensely hard to keep up their dislike, and Hermione found herself getting thoroughly annoyed by their behaviour.

On another of the Order's gatherings, Harry and Draco came darting through the door, looking flustered. All of the members sensed the tense atmosphere, and they straightened up in their chairs, looking expectant.

"Lucius Malfoy has approached Draco with a question," Harry announced and looked to Draco for him to continue.

"He came to me for Hermione's location," Draco said, and the info sent ripples through the crowd. 

"Is he on to you?" Tonks asked in concern.

"No, he's not."

"Then why would he ask you where Hermione's at?" someone else piped up, and others looked just as confused. ¨

"Stop getting stuck on silly details," Draco bit, and waved his hand impatiently. "The point is that I gave him a fake location, and he's planning to strike. We know where he'll be, and that's where we can bring him down."

"We need a group who can come with Draco and myself," Harry said, and began taking note of volunteers.

Hermione raised her chin defiantly before putting her hand up in the air. All the chatter died immediately, and all eyes were on her. She met Draco's eyes and didn't waver at all.

"I want to go," she said defiantly. Harry opened his mouth to answer, but he never got that far.

"You're not coming," Draco said sternly from his end of the table.

"I need to go. I've been sitting her doing nothing at all for ages, and he's after me," she said, throwing her hands out in desperation.

"Exactly, he's after you. That's why you're here in the first place," he replied angrily, and Hermione shot up from the table in frustration. 

"Why are you commanding me around? Don't you get that I can't just sit around waiting like some idiot?" she bellowed, and he too rose from the table, ignoring the other's horrified expressions.

"Why do you think?" he cried back. "Everything I've done is to keep you safe. Everything I've done in the past three years, from the day I left up until now is so that you can have a life to live!"

"Don't you think I know that, Draco?" she asked. "But you can protect me while I'm there as well. If I'm there, you can even see me. Know where I am the entire time"

"Do you think my father won't take advantage of you being there?" Draco said back in desperation. "Don't you think he'll get a hold of you, and then torture you while I stand there right in front of you? Don't you think the bastard is sick enough to let me watch you die?  
'  
"I'm not letting you go, not after all I've sacrificed to keep you safe," he continued fiercely. "I'm not letting him kill the one person I love in this world. The one person I love more than this world. What would I do if he killed you? What would be left of my world if you didn't live? Nothing"

"I know," she said, close to tears. "Don't you think I know the sacrifices? I made them too remember? I've lived in hell these three years as well. You think you're the only one who feels this way? _How selfish are you?_"

He gave her a shocked look at that, and began to open his mouth to scream back, but she gave him no opportunity.

"You're going to face your father, who is probably equally as pissed at you as he is at me for this entire ordeal. And I'm going to sit here and wait and do nothing? What if he hurts you or kills you out there? What would I do if you got killed and I knew I sat here doing nothing but wait?" she cried, tears now streaming down her face.

"Hermione. You're important, you have an important job and a family who loves you. Your life is worth mine ten times over. I don't matter," he bellowed, and she gasped in horror at his words.

"You matter to me!" she bellowed furiously. "How can you even say that? I love you so much my chest feels like it's going to burst in half when I see you. I've been living without you for three years cause of that complete bastard and it's been hell. You promised me it would get easier with time when you left, but Merlin, Draco, it hasn't been. It's grown harder every bloody day, so what would I do if you disappeared forever?"

She flung herself towards him and began beating her fists against his chest.

"I can't let you go there alone. I can't let him kill you. You think you're the only one who feels like you do? What if I don't want to live in a world that you're not in, Draco, have you thought of that, huh? Why would I want to live if the person I love more than anything died in the process!"

He caught her fists with his hands, and kept her from hitting him and he spoke with his face inches from hers.

"You're not going near that sick bastard. I'm not giving him the slightest chance to get to you. I'm not going to let him kill you because you love me. Do you hear me?" he hissed.

She looked defiantly back at him, keeping her mouth shut in a thin line.

"Do you hear me?" he repeated fiercely, and when she gave a defeated nod, he let her go and stormed out of the kitchen. 

Hermione began bawling at that point, and sunk back against the wall. The entire Order watched with their mouths hanging open, but she couldn't care less. She hid her face in her hands and downright sobbed. Soon, she felt Ginny's comforting hands around her, and she got pulled up from the floor. She sunk against Ginny, and held her close as she cried uncontrollably. Her friend held her tightly, and soothed her with her low, calm voice.

Suddenly, Ginny's small hands released her, and she felt herself being drawn into a pair of strong, muscular arms and she knew instantly that it was him. She smelled him and felt him, and she melted into his arms as she continued to cry. His chin rested at the top of her head as she cried into his chest, and he stroked her hair soothingly, before wrapping both arms tightly around her waist.

"Hermione," he soothed. "It's all going to work out."

He continued to stroke her back comfortingly, and she felt herself calm down in his loving embrace.

"I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to yell at you," he muttered and pressed his lips against her hair. 

When she calmed down under his comforting words and affectionate touch, he pulled her out of the embrace and cupped his hands around her face. His thumbs dried her tears carefully, and he watched her tear ridden face with an expression so loving that the entire Order nearly shook their heads in disbelief.

"Your robe is wet," she commented as she sniffed, and he broke into a chuckle.

"It is," he confirmed with another small laugh. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," she replied, and reached up to dry her eyes.

"Then maybe we should continue the meeting?" he suggested in a soft voice, resting his hands on her shoulders.

"Oh," she exclaimed in horror and turned to the table where everyone sat glued to their chairs, except for Ginny who was standing by the wall. 

She let him guide her to her seat with his hand on her back, and she sat down, feeling the absurdity of the situation creep up on her. Moments before she had been sobbing uncontrollably in front of everyone, and now she was sitting down to attend the rest of the meeting.

"Continue," Draco urged as he sat down in his seat again.

Harry, on the other hand, seemed too stricken to think.

"Erm. I... Oh who am I kidding." He sighed. "We're not going to get this meeting going again. Let's take another meeting tomorrow instead, and set the details then."

The others murmured their agreement, and awkward silence settled over the crowd. Soon, members began saying their goodbyes, and only the hard core remained. The Weasleys, Harry, Remus and Tonks.

"Well... that was intense," Tonks stated matter-of-factly and broke the awkward silence.

"At least we know why all this is happening now," Harry said in a slight shrug, still looking completely lost. He got up and started pacing, and she knew it was a lot to process. She knew him too well. It had been hard for him even to accept Draco as an ally, let alone someone who was suddenly emotionally involved. 

"Why didn't you tell us, Hermione? It's obviously been going on for a long while," Remus asked quietly, and she sighed, knowing this was where things began being difficult.

"There's no easy way to break something like that, though," Hermione said. "And it was incredibly complicated."

"How complicated could it be?" Fred asked coldly. "Couldn't you just have said it as it is? 'Everyone, I've been fucking around with Draco Malfoy!'"

Hermione saw Draco opening his mouth angrily, but she stopped it with a raised hand.

"Would you have reacted any better than you are now?" she asked, and no one answered. Most of the Weasley men just gave her vile stares. "Didn't think so."

"To be completely honest with you, which is probably the best thing at this point, Draco and I really had no clue what was going on for the better part of the seventh school year. We were friends in a way, but then kind of not. There was something else. Then there's the Antigo, and we all know how that one reacted," she said and held out the necklace, still glowing as fiercely as ever. "We didn't even get our own feelings sorted out until the last bit of Seventh Year. Bringing anyone into that mixture of confusion and denial would never have made things any better."

"And after that you've lied to us for three years," Charlie said flatly, and she felt a stab in her heart from the reactions she had dreaded for so long.

"Once we realised what was going on, we knew no one could know. We couldn't tell, for the simple reason that the rumour could not get back to Lucius Malfoy. Over the summer holidays I rented an apartment in London. Draco was to join me once I had found it, but the plans dissolved..." she said, her voice trailing off at the end. The memory was still raw and painful, even now.

"My father had suggested the proposal to Pansy, and he knew immediately that there were someone else when I refused to get engaged. I knew he would put his people on it, and he would find the apartment in no time. I had to leave if I wanted her to be alive. And after giving her the Antigo, how could I not protect her? Besides, I just couldn't live with myself if he got to her because of my own selfishness, my needs."

"After he left, everything was too painful to dig up again," she confessed. "I never said a word about it, and I pushed everything as far back as I could, knowing I wouldn't be able to function properly if I let myself think about it every day. By that time, the lies were too intricate and everything too complicated to even begin to explain."

She knew she wasn't getting through to them. They looked angry, betrayed, disappointed. Everything she had feared they would.

"And lastly," she said quietly. "I knew how you would react. I've played it over and over in my head, and it looks something like you do right now. I didn't want to face your disappointment, judgement... your sorrow."

Everyone looked up at the last word, and she laughed bitterly. "You don't think I know it was all planned out for me? I was supposed to end up with Ron. Live happily ever after as a Weasley wife. And some part of me wanted that. I feel more a part of this family than any other, and I love you all like my own family, if not even more. And I loved Ron dearly, but for me marriage was never an option, because it was never like that. I'm truly sorry that it never worked out, but I'm not sorry for my choices"

Silence fell upon the kitchen, and she saw she had stirred something in their stony appearances. What she hadn't expected was that it would get worse before it got better. Fred banged his fist into the table before leaving the kitchen in a huff. Charlie just rested his head in his hands and fell completely quiet. George began muttering things under his breath sending Draco vile stares.

Hermione felt like crying again, and she put her elbows on the table, putting her head exhaustedly into her hands. And they wondered why she hadn't told? Their reaction was hell on earth. How she felt would never be accepted, and it pained more than she cared to think about.

"May I offer my apologies for my children?" Mrs. Weasley asked softly, and Hermione made a slight grimace. She rubbed her hands against her face, and against her temples.

"It's alright," she said quietly.

"No, it's not," Mrs. Weasley replied. "You shouldn't have to apologise for how you feel. It's not up to them to decide what the right and the wrong way is."

"Mum," George said indignantly. "She's been lying for three years about sleeping with the enemy."

"My dear stupid son. If you looked around you this instant you would see that he is indeed not the enemy. He's been working on the Order's side for over a year. He's giving us all of Lucius' plans without hesitation, and he's willing to risk his life for Hermione," Mrs. Weasley said sternly. "I don't know who you think you are to judge these two, to be quite honest."

"Mum, don't you understand? He's a Malfoy. He'll always be," George said again, looking exasperated.

"A girl once came to me during the holiday break a little over three years ago, looking incredibly troubled. When I finally got her to tell me what was wrong, I was surprised of the life lecture it taught me. She told me how your generation especially has been brought up to hate each other for no other reason than hate itself. She told me how she was still expected to hate after she discovered the deeper layers of people, the depths.'

"Looking greatly troubled she asked me how she could hate someone who made her breakfast when she overslept and shared her favourite book. And last, but not least, she told me how easy it is to hate an image. To hate what people have taught you to hate, that image of someone you've never had to get to know. But then you get to know them and realise they aren't what you thought. They're people, like you. They share your interests, have the same issues. Under the image they're so much more. And it is the wisest thing I have heard in several decades. No one should hate just for hate itself, not for an image or a name."

Mrs. Weasley rose from the table. "And now it's time for me to prepare us all dinner."

The silence fell across the room, rather awkwardly so. Everyone seemed to be wrapped up in their own thoughts concerning Molly's tirade, and Hermione dwelled on the memory of the conversation. She wasn't the least bit embarrassed about feeling this way. The others were acting narrow minded and she knew it, but their approval still meant a lot to her.

"Look, I think I'd better leave," Draco said after several minutes of silence.

"No, don't go," she said hurriedly, definitely not wanting to be left alone.

"I'm just making it worse," he said in a low voice, and she watched him rise from his seat and take his cloak off the back of it. He draped it around himself and gave her a small smile.

He walked towards the door, and she realised none of the others were going to stop him from leaving. They were going to let him think he was making it worse, and she felt her anger rise. Not wanting to be in their presence anymore, she left the kitchen without a word and followed him out into the hallway.

"Don't leave me with these idiots," she begged and threw her head back in despair, still with her hands crossed over her chest.

"They'll come around," he stated calmly. "They're not the only ones with prejudice here. I'm not particularly fond of them either, even if I know they can't be that bad since you love them so much."

She still looked depressed and tired, so he smiled reassuringly at her. 

"I'll be back tomorrow for the other meeting," he promised, and stroked her hair gently away from her face. She leaned in closer, and he gave her a small hug, resting his hands on her waist for a moment.

"Yeah, needless to say.. I'll be around," she stated dryly, and he chuckled.

"Hang in there. It won't be long now," he said, and pressed his lips against her forehead before he turned around and left. She watched the door for several moments, hoping against hope that he would come walking back in and whisk her away to some faraway country where they could live happily without the judgements, the death threats and the incredibly annoying objections against their relationship. 

Reluctantly she walked back in the kitchen as the smell of food hit her, and she took a seat again without a word. The scene was a bit more lively than the way she left it. Fred had returned, and all three of the Weasley men, excluding Mr. Weasley, looked horrified and sick, to be honest. Harry and Ginny were talking calmly in a corner of their own, but were out of earshot. Tonks and Remus were bickering over wallpaper, as they had just taken on the incredible challenge of redecorating the ancient house of Black. Hermione thought it was nice that they made it liveable and even chose to live there. Sirius would have wanted that.

Hermione felt like she had betrayed the darkest secrets of the Order to Voldemort himself. The seats on either sides of her were empty, and it was as if she had an extremely contagious disease. The disease of the Dark Arts or something equally silly. Their behaviour sickened her. She sat there, looking straight ahead and no one paid her a word. If they loved her they should stand behind her whatever she chose. And it wasn't as if Draco was still the perfect Death Eater. He was a fellow Order member who made a mistake years ago.

When dinner closed in on being ready, and the smell of food became stronger, Hermione felt even more nauseous about the whole thing. She couldn't handle being the traitor anymore. The one everyone shunned and ignored. Quietly, she got up from her seat and walked towards the door.

"Don't you want dinner, dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked in concern.

"I'm not hungry," Hermione muttered back, and left the others sitting in the kitchen.

She climbed the stairs, and opened several doors to see what sanctuary she could find. Every room was dark and dusty, windowless and plain, and she closed all doors with a grimace. She kept walking through the halls, and eventually found a hallway she hadn't been down before. When she opened the door at the very end, she entered a small library. She beamed at her luck, and closed the door quietly behind her. It was dusty, and rather dark, but it was a library nonetheless.

Hermione looked around, and smiled at the shelves filled with books, before she lit the small lamp with her wand. The tiny lamp gave the small room an eerie glow, and she relaxed drastically compared to what she had felt the previous hours. 

She let her fingers run over the back of the books, all of the dusty, but some of them with the most incredible titles. Grinning happily, she took one of them carefully into her arms, and sat down in the large, comfy armchair placed in there.

The library became her safe spot. She didn't want to leave. She picked up book after book, knowing it would let her drown in it, forget her own issues for a while. The people downstairs didn't appeal to her at that moment. She wanted to be alone, and she would stay in there as long as she felt the need to.

----

**A/N**: Hope some of your questions were answered in this chapter :) Thanks for all reviews! I love reading what you think will happen and what you look forward to read :D


	20. IXX : Vibrations

**A/N:**This chapter is a bit schizophrenic. But I excuse it with the fact that it's a difficult situation for them all, so emotions run high..in all directions.

I have to give a huge thank you to elyaeru who have betaed all the chapters for me, and especially helped with this one and fixed some of my awkward lines. THANK YOU. You would all make her very happy if you would check out her Dark Family Fic archive : Ink (ink . accio . nu)

----

**IXX ; Vibrations**

Draco Malfoy paused outside the entrance to Grimmauld Place with a heavy sigh. He really didn't feel like meeting the people inside, but he knew he had to. There was no going back at this point. They knew everything, if not the details, and he had helped plan the event that would imprison or kill his own father. The entire ordeal was harder than any of them could imagine. No matter what a bastard he was, Lucius was still his father. Even if the choice between him and Hermione was clear, there was no such thing as an easy decision in this situation.

He stopped badgering himself with annoying doubts and concerns, knowing any little detail could push him over the edge, and pushed open the door, hearing them all buzz around in the kitchens. Carefully, he hung his cloak up in the hall this time, and made his way towards the crowd waiting inside.

"Oh Draco, thank Merlin," Ginny exclaimed, and he raised an eyebrow at the unexpected greeting. The crowd looked flustered and concerned, and he felt his pulse rise rapidly.

"What?" he asked, and swallowed heavily.

"We can't find Hermione," Harry admitted, and looked heavily weighed by it.

"You lost Hermione?" Draco instantly asked in a loud tone, and a feeling of absolute dread and cold ran through his stomach.

Ginny winced and looked completely desperate and flustered, her red hair sticking out at odd angles. "She left before dinner yesterday. I guess... we weren't actually talking to her, and my rather uneducated guess is that she was a bit more troubled than we… may have realised. We haven't been able to find her since."

"For Christ's sake." Draco sighed. "She's never done anything to you people but love you unconditionally. Return the bloody favour!"

He huffed angrily, and began pacing the kitchen.

"Hermione's definitely smart enough to know that she's dead if she so much as leans out the window of this building. Where have you looked?" he asked the Weasleys and Harry, including Remus and Tonks in his gaze as well.

"All the bedrooms, including her own. Her bed hasn't been slept in," Tonks answered, shaking her head. "We've checked the bathrooms. The cellar, even."

"Does this house have a library, Harry?" he asked with his hands crossed over his chest.

"Well, yes... but I don't know where."

"Oh Merlin. You're looking for Hermione Granger, and you haven't looked in the library," he said in exasperation, and the others had the decency to look ashamed.

"But we don't know where it is," Ginny protested, but he just waved his hand dismissively.

"All old houses of dark wizard families have the same basic layout. The library is always in a secluded area so that the head of the family can step away from the rest of the house," Draco explained. "It will be in a side corridor to the bedrooms, most likely."

He left the kitchen at that, and everyone paced after him. Secretly, he felt annoyed that they followed. After all, she had run off to get away from their behaviour, more than likely. But it didn't really matter, he supposed. If they wanted to watch, they could.

"Is this the only floor with bedrooms?" he asked, as he stood in the side corridor, which held nothing but a broom cupboard and another door that he hadn't opened, but he knew it wasn't a library either way.

"No, there's one more," Harry said from the tail of people he had behind him.

Draco opened the other door, and found a staircase, that led him to the second floor of bedrooms. He followed it to the end, and found a small corridor none of the others had even noticed before. He heard them buzz about never having seen it before, since the room at the very back had been Sirius's room and no one had used it since he passed. Soon enough, he found the door at the end of the corridor and stopped outside it.

"This is undoubtedly it," he announced, and he heard muttering behind him.

"How can you tell?" Ginny asked puzzled.

"The door," he revealed with a smile, and let his hands run over the ornaments. "These are the old signs for knowledge and intelligence."

"I never knew," Remus exclaimed and bent closer to eye the ornaments.

Draco opened the door as soon as Remus had retreated, and revealed a small, enclosed room with a tiny window by the far corner. The walls were covered in bookshelves from floor to ceiling, not one space freed from books. Almost in the middle of the room sat a small table, occupied by a reading light, and to its immediate left rested a big armchair in green fabric, adorned with black swirl ornaments.

"She's here," he said with a warm voice, and the entire crowd breathed in relief.

Hermione sat curled up in the chair, her head resting against the black, little pillow sticking out a little above the armrest. The book she had been reading was inches from falling off and her hands rested loosely on it. He chuckled and moved over to the chair, where he hunched down beside the sleeping figure. She looked so at peace that he almost felt bad about waking her.

He took the book carefully from her lap, and closed it quietly before putting on the small table beside the chair. His hand touched her knee gently, and he rocked her with a short motion.

"Hermione," he called softly. "Hermione, wake up."

She stirred slightly, but only ended up snuggling closer to the pillow. He let his hand run over her hair and the other one remained on her thigh, where he rocked her slightly again.

"Come on, love. Wake up," he called again, and finally her eyes began blinking rapidly. She opened her eyes and stretched her hands over her head with a yawn.

"Draco," she suddenly said in surprise, beaming happily at him. His heart skipped a beat at her smile, and it made him feel like the luckiest guy in the world knowing the smile was because of him. "What are you doing here?"

"You fell asleep in the library. The kitchen was in an uproar when I got here, everyone was worried sick," he said softly, and then added with a grin: "Good morning."

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry," she said with a grimace. "I stumbled upon it yesterday when I… well… ran off. And I just ended up reading all these wonderful books and I managed to forget everything that was going on and it just felt so great and I..."

"Hermione, it's alright," he chuckled warmly. "You don't have to explain yourself."

"We're just happy you didn't leave the house," Ginny said from the doorway where the entire clan was waiting. The redhead could no longer restrain herself, and shot forwards towards the chair and flung her hands around the girl in it. "I'm so sorry."

"For what?" Hermione laughed as Draco stumbled to his feet and took the book she had been reading. He flipped through a few pages, before putting it back in its place.

"For being an arse," she replied, sounding choked.

"Gin, you've never been an arse. You've been nothing but supportive since I told you everything," Hermione insisted and rose unsteadily from the chair. Her feet nearly buckled after being seated for so long, and Draco was there within a second to keep her from falling. He wrapped his arm around her waist, and couldn't ignore the spark it caused.

"Thanks." She smiled up at him, and he had to resist the urge of kissing her right in front of everyone.

"Well, I don't want you to fall over and hit your head or something after all the trouble we're going through to keep you safe," he stated dryly, and she laughed as he let go of her, and she followed the others out of the library.

"Wouldn't that be so ironic?" she asked in amusement, and the others gave her a dark look for laughing about such a thing.

"Ironic and not at all desirable," Draco commented dryly, and she walked thoughtfully beside Harry and Ginny, Draco making up the back end all on his own.

She didn't deserve their annoyance and their resentment. All she did was love people, and they treated her like shit in return. He knew deep down he couldn't be the one to cause such a split between them. Between the woman he loved and the people she considered her family.

----

Hermione piled into the kitchen with the rest of the people who had come looking for her, feeling slightly embarrassed. She had run off like a little kid, and fell asleep so they had all been worried sick about her. She knew it was a bit childish of her, but she couldn't help what she had done last night to get away from it all.

Harry started the meeting, and the plans began falling into place eventually. Most of the Order members were going to fight, since Lucius's followers weren't exactly a tiny crowd. Hermione listened, and grew steadily more uneasy. The plans were risky, and had a high chance of failing. To succeed it required a great deal of coincidences to work out in their favour.

"Hermione, have you decided whether or not you're staying behind?" Harry asked carefully, and she felt everybody tense around the table. It was either concern for her well being, or in fear of another heated argument between Hermione and Draco. She didn't quite know which one it was.

She looked around in confusion, not knowing what she had decided to do. Her eyes met Draco's, and they begged her to stay behind. She knew he was worried sick about her coming along, but she didn't know if she could leave the battle up to him only.

"Hermione, dear," Mrs. Weasley said softly. "I think Draco is right about this one. You're too much at risk if you put yourself out in the fight."

"But I don't want Draco to fight against his father alone. I mean... it is his father no matter how evil he may be," Hermione said in a pained voice, and looked over at Draco who now had his hand clutched over his forehead.

"Hermione, please," he begged and looked up at her. "You don't know what he's capable of. He'll make me watch you die just to get back at me. My own father will torture you to death in front of my very eyes... I... can't..."

His voice trailed off, and she suddenly noticed that his eyes were suspiciously moist. Suddenly, trickles of tears ran rapidly down his cheeks and he immediately bowed his head towards the table. Hermione looked around in shock, and met equally large eyes around the table. None of them had ever expected to see Draco Malfoy cry. She hadn't even expected that.

She watched him with her head inclined, seeing the pain form on his exquisite features, and then she leaned over the table. Carefully, she put her finger under his chin and made him look up from the pattern he was eyeing. The tears shone clear as day in the dim lighting, and his lips quivered, even if his muscles tensed to stop them from giving him away. She looked at him softly, pained by how desperately he wanted her to be safe. Ignoring the others in the room, she leaned closer and put her lips to his cheek. She kissed away his tears tenderly, a gesture so intimate some of the others looked away. Putting a thumb on his quivering lip, she smiled warmly.

"I'll stay behind," she said quietly. "I'll sit right here in this kitchen. I promise."

She watched his shoulders fall in relief, and he rested his head heavily in his hands. He drew a rattling breath, and suddenly rose from the table and left the baffled crowd sitting stiffly in their seats. Ginny looked after him in concern, but Hermione shook her head.

"Just let him go," she said quietly. "The fact that he's betraying his father weighs heavily. He's always learned that family loyalty is the most important thing no matter what, and now he's going against that more fiercely than he ever has."

"So you're saying he's uncertain?" Harry asked, sounding slightly worried.

"No, he has definitely made up his mind," she answered calmly. "Which is why he feels so guilty. Guilt towards his father for betraying his own family, and guilt towards us for loving the father who has never wished us anything but grief."

"If he hasn't told you, then how do you know all this?" Tonks asked in slight amazement.

"It's written all over his face," Hermione answered simply.

Harry nodded silently at her, and continued the meeting without Draco being present. Last minute details were established, and Hermione promised to brief him later on. Those who didn't stay for dinner, left with short goodbyes, the gravity of the situation weighing down on all of them now.

Mrs. Weasley clapped her hands and began preparing dinner like she did every day the order were gathered, while the others remained seated around the table still.

"I'm glad you decided to stay behind," Ginny confessed. "I didn't want to get in the middle, but it makes me a lot less worried now that you're safe back here, instead of in his line of fire."

"I know. It's the right thing to do." Hermione nodded. "I'll manage somehow."

"Mum will stay behind with you, you know. You won't be alone," Fred promised, and patted her arm with a slight smile.

"Thanks, Molly. That means a lot," she said gratefully, and Molly turned from her cooking with a smile on her lips.

"Of course, dear. You're not staying in this place all on your own."

"I guess I'm just scared," Hermione confessed. "I can't help but think of what we lost the last time."

She turned to Harry with a pained expression, and they shared a look of mutual grief. Losing the third part of their trio had been like losing a part of their soul. The thoughts of his goofy smile and his always misplaced remarks brought her to the brink of tears to this day. The thought that he was gone haunted her all the time.

"The thought of what we lost is exactly the reason we're going into this battle without you," Harry said fiercely, gripping her hand. "I don't want to lose you too. I can't be the only one left."

She blinked furiously to keep the tears back and squeezed his hand. "Neither can I."

"I'll be careful. I'm not leaving you," he proclaimed, and she smiled through her misty eyes.

"None of us are." Ginny smiled, and the others nodded quickly.

"The only one disappearing is that bastard Lucius Malfoy," George said with his teeth clenched. "That one has had it coming a long time."

"Personally, I wouldn't mind offing Lestrange," Harry said, and drew his hand over his face, which wore a tired expression.

"We know," Ginny reassured him and leaned back in her chair. "There's nothing we'd rather do either."

"Isn't this cosy. Making a death list," Hermione commented with a sad laugh, and the others chuckled too.

"War is always a cheerful time," Remus said in his serious voice. "Everyone goes paranoid and jumpy, feelings always surface and they either result in furious arguments or a pack load of babies."

The crowd laughed genuinely at that, and nodded their agreements.

"Hey Harry. Want to make a baby?" George asked in a high-pitched voice, and Hermione laughed so hard she almost fell onto the table.

"Oi, lay off of my man," Ginny cried, putting up a dramatic hand gesture.

"Nuh-uh. He's been mine all along, you man-stealer," George bellowed back.

Ginny answered by climbing onto Harry's lap, stuck her tongue out at George before giving her boyfriend a loud kiss on the lips.

"I'm heartbroken," George sniffed, and fell dramatically into the arms of Fred who comforted enthusiastically.

"You'll get over it." Hermione grinned. "I'll find you a nice, masculine, bulky Healer from the hospital that you can take on enchanted dates under a star strewn sky."

"Oh my!" George squealed, and she laughed heartily again, before Mrs. Weasley cut in.

"I'm sorry to interrupt this rare moment of cheerfulness, children, but dinner is ready in a few." She smiled, ruffling Ginny's hair as she passed.

"I'll go get Draco," Hermione volunteered, knowing she should talk to him before they went back into the kitchen. She smiled and left her friends by the table, and headed into the darkness of the living room.

"Is it wrong to spy on them?" Ginny asked carefully, and gave a guilty grimace.

"I would like to say it is... but I'm ashamed to say I'm curious," her mother said, rather uncharacteristically. The people in the kitchen soon found themselves opening the door until they could see Hermione's back as she walked towards the figure seated in the armchair with his back turned to them. Everyone hunched down, and gave each other looks of guilt, but stayed nonetheless. They were all so nonplussed about the whole thing. So curious about how they interacted.

"Hi," Hermione greeted softly and sat down on the armrest next to him. She was completely unaware of their onlookers.

"Hi," he answered with a small smile evolving on his pale face.

"Are you feeling better?" she asked, and snuggled her arm around his neck. She used her index finger to caress his neck, as she watched him with a concerned look.

"Yes. I'm just so overwhelmed," he confessed. "I didn't know how hard this would turn out to be."

"Well, he's your father," she said softly. "Nothing changes that."

"But he's an arsehole who wants you dead," he replied bitterly, leaning closer to her. He rested his head on her shoulder, and she kept caressing his neck gently.

"And still your father. The one who raised you, the person who gave a part of him to make you," she said silently. "Draco... I would be more worried if you could do this without being bothered at all."

She felt him nod against her shoulders.

"I just wish my father was.. someone else. Someone who could just be normal. Not try to be the next dark lord. Not kill the woman I love because of her blood," he said in a flat voice. "I've always been happy to be a Malfoy. To have more than other people. And now... looking at the people in there, hearing the way they talk to each other... I realise I've always had less."

Hermione felt a stab in her chest at that, feeling so much pity for the man leaning against her. He had never had what they had, and at that point she wanted nothing else than to just love him.

"You can have that," she said softly, but he shook his head.

"No, I can't," he said in a pained voice. "I'm not like you. I'm not good through and through, intelligent and lovable. I'm just Draco Malfoy. The arrogant bastard who enjoys being better than everyone else."

"Draco, listen to me," she said fiercely. "You're intelligent, charming and when you want to you can be the kindest and most genuine person. And I love you. You need to stop thinking you're not worthy of people's love."

"I'm not used to being loved by anyone," he confessed. "I can't understand how someone can. Or why."

"Don't doubt it. Don't question it," she said softly and let her hand run through his hair. "Just accept it. Take it to heart when I say I love you, cause I mean it. I'm not just making it up. Everything you feel for me, I feel for you."

"Who would have known Draco Malfoy was so vulnerable, huh?" he asked bitterly. "Always been rather high and mighty, and it turns out I can't even understand why anyone would want me."

"You're human, like everyone else. And everyone has insecurities," she told him as she stroked his hair absently. "Don't question everything so much. Just accept it."

"When did I turn into such a cry baby anyway," he said suddenly, and straightened up a bit. She kept her arm around his neck, and smiled warmly at him.

"Oh, stop being so scared of showing your emotions, you manly man," she teased with a smile playing on her lips.

"I can show emotions," he said indignantly, giving her an accusing look.

"Yeah, right," she said, rolling her eyes.

He cupped her face in his hands and looked her deep into the eyes. "I love you."

She remained silent for a moment, and then adapted a mischievous grin.

"Yeah, right," she laughed and he hit the armrest she had just darted up from.

"Damn!" he cried with a small laugh.

"Good try, though," she teased, as she turned to look at him. "Dinner is ready. Are you coming?"

----

Ginny ushered the others away from the door with a panicked expression, and everyone darted back to their seats, trying desperately to put their faces in neutral folds.

"I don't care what you guys say... they are adorable," Ginny whispered.

"We're honestly a bunch of tossers," Fred replied with a sigh, and exchanged a pained look with his twin.

Hermione and Draco entered at that moment, giving each other small pushes as they bickered loudly about Draco's emotional range. She laughed loudly as he tried to trip her over, and she pushed him back rather roughly. He tripped over to the other side of the table with a chuckle, and they both seated across from each other, their eyes meeting for a brief moment, before the food was carried to the table by Molly.

"I'm starving," Harry announced, and everyone muttered in agreement.

"Scheming leaves you craving weird foods," Ginny concluded, and began chewing on a turkey leg.

"Maybe you're just pregnant," Hermione suggested with a grin, and Ginny dropped the leg in surprise.

"Don't you even go there," she cried. "I'm so not ready to quadruple in size."

"You'd be a cute pregnant lady," Hermione teased, and Ginny shot her a vile look.

"Maybe you're pregnant," Ginny shot back, and Hermione shrieked with laughter.

"Not very likely," she stated dryly, and piled her plate with a bit of everything from the decked table.

"Poor Hermione in a dry spot?" Fred teased, and she shot him a vile look.

"I happen to have inside information that she indeed is in a very dry spot," the female Weasley nodded, grinning mischievously.

"Gin, please stop talking about this before you mother has a heart attack," Hermione cried holding her hands up. "And also, I don't usually discuss intimate details about my private life with every male Weasley present."

"More like lack of intimate details." George laughed, and she threw a piece of potato at him. "Hey!" He threw a piece of his turkey back, and she ducked just in time, sticking her tongue out.

"Children! How many times do I have to say this, no food fights," Molly chastised in exasperation. "I swear... every time we sit down at a dinner table…"

"Well, at least there are no Ministry officials Fred can hit with a pie in the face," Harry reminded her, and they all roared with laughter at the memory.

"That is seriously the funniest thing I've ever witnessed." Ginny chuckled, shaking her head. "Fred, you're my hero," she cried dramatically, and clung to his arm.

He gave a silly bow, and several of the others snickered.

"Remember when Ron tried to wipe the pie of his face and ended up nearly choking the man?" Charlie reminded them, and they fell into another warm chuckle.

"Dad had to avoid the man at work for months after that incident."

"The poor Ministry official thought we were mental," Ginny snickered.

"Aren't you?" Hermione challenged, and all the Weasley children stared at her with contempt. She shrugged with a sheepish grin on her face, and preceded to eat her food in silence.

The rest of the meal continued in the same light atmosphere, but Hermione noticed very well that Draco hadn't said a word. He just watched them, swallowing every word, ever expression and every gesture. It pained her to know he had never had this. His family consisted only of his mother and his father, both of whom she had never considered to be cheerful company. She wondered if he could ever be a part of this like she wanted to, and suddenly felt all too full to eat anymore. Her fork picked at what was left of her once delicious meal as she followed the conversation half heartedly. She ended up pushing the plate away from her, and Mrs. Weasley soon began clearing the table, leaving her children and their friends to lean sleepily back in their chairs.

"Merlin, I ate all too much," Harry announced. "I think I'll fall asleep right this instant."

"What did you put in the turkey, Mum? Sleeping potion?" Charlie yawned, and watched everyone else slouching in their chairs.

"Maybe we should all just go take an afternoon nap," Hermione suggested. "We've earned it."

The exhausted diners muttered in consent at that, but no one moved nonetheless. Except Draco, who rose from his seat with an awkward cough, reminding her unpleasantly about the toad like woman with the name of Dolores Umbridge.

"I should be heading off, I believe," he spoke, his voice flat and controlled, filled with that same polished politeness, so different from the raw, stripped voice they had heard him use in the darkness with Hermione.

"Do stay," Mrs. Weasley urged, and Ginny nodded fiercely.

"Is Lucius waiting for you?" Harry asked cautiously, looking at the same, tall frame Draco Malfoy had always worn, but it had never been held with less confidence than now.

"My father does not spend his days at the Manor much anymore. Lately, he has not been there at all," he answered a bit reluctantly, loosing some of the polished edge.

"You stay in that manor alone?" Tonks inquired, her brows knitted into a small frown just beneath her pink fringe.

"I do," he confirmed with a small nod, leaving Hermione's feelings in a tangled mess. He had stayed alone in that large house for God only knows how long. Those who didn't feel pity on him for that could have no heart.

"What about the staff?" she asked carefully, scared of wandering into waters she did not belong in.

"We haven't had any staff since my mother passed away."

She closed her eyes, remembering how his eyes had once softened at the mention of his mother, and realised how much he had suffered without her knowledge. Without anyone to turn to.

"I didn't know," she said in a pained voice, watching him stand almost aimlessly on the floor. He looked like a lost man at a crossroad, waiting for some miraculous sign of guidance.

"Not many do," he replied shortly.

"So why exactly do you need to leave if there's no one waiting for you to come?" Ginny asked with a crooked smile.

"Because people are waiting for me to leave," he answered simply.

The simple, yet truthful sentence lingered in the air and had a reaction stronger than what Hermione could have imagined. Every occupant of the room fell completely quiet, and not one of them sat without a haunted look on their faces. She knew them all. She knew they would never have it in them to keep hating someone who looked so much like a puppy lost at the storm-ridden sea.

"Stay," Fred suddenly said from his seat.

"I'm sorry?" Draco exclaimed in genuine surprise.

"We can't let you sit alone in that large house," George continued with a slight grimace.

Draco made an undistinguishable noise, somewhere between a 'hm' and a cough, apparently not knowing what to make of the situation. She smiled at him, but he kept his weary eyes on the Weasleys.

"I don't think we could call ourselves Molly Weasley's sons if we sent you home," Charlie stated dryly, and was soon attacked by his mother who wrapped him such a fierce hug from behind that he yelped and waved his hands desperately.

"Oh great Merlin, she's killing Charlie," Fred exclaimed, and the three other Weasley children sprung from their chairs and hauled their mother off, but only succeeded in getting themselves wrapped in a group hug of epical proportions.

"Help... me..." Ginny squealed from her place in the very middle, but Harry and Hermione just waved from their safe seats, and Tonks and Remus smiled in amusement.

"Fred, you're standing on my foot," George exclaimed in exasperation, and his twin growled.

"I can't very well help it. I can't even move."

"Which one of you nitwits are pulling my hair?"

"Oh, sorry. I thought it was Fred's. Kind of difficult to see the difference."

Harry lay his face in his perfected Dumbledore expression, and nodded serenely.

"Welcome to a normal day in the Weasley family"

Hermione was still laughing from George's hair comment as she watched Charlie trying to get his breath back, while Draco looked rather overwhelmed by the scenes in front of him.

"It's scary. I know," Tonks said in a hushed voice. "But you get used to it."

"I think I could use that nap right about now," he answered in a disoriented tone, looking at the group hug that still hadn't untangled.

"Mother, this is bordering on insane now. I think I just touched Ginny's boob, for Merlin's sake let us go!" George cried, and Hermione clapped her hand over her mouth as she howled with laughter, falling onto Harry's shoulder as he too collapsed. The two of them were still shaking uncontrollably against each other as the Weasley children were released, looking scarred for life.

"There are more than enough bedrooms," Remus called over the havoc. "Take your pick."

"That is the most traumatising hug to date," Fred stated, holding his hand over his chest.

"You owe us big time," George said, turned to Charlie, who put up an innocent face and pulled his shoulders into a shrug.

"Right then. If no one minds then..." Draco said carefully, running his hand absently through his hair.

"We don't," Harry assured him, nodding slowly, and Ginny just grinned, still panting slightly.

"I think most of us could do with a nap," Molly said loudly. "You children are very dramatic."

"Oh yes, copping a feel with my sister is not at all a good reason to freak out," George said with a shudder, and Harry and Hermione laughed loudly yet again.

"And I thought it was Harry you were really going for," she commented, and he adapted a serious expression.

"Oh, I'm going all around. You're up next."

"Oh my, aren't I just the lucky one," she cooed, blowing him a kiss. He reached his hand up an fetched it with an elaborate gesture, and held it over his heart with a silly expression. Everyone chuckled, leaning back in their seats again.

"Sleep well," Tonks suddenly called, as Draco pushed open the kitchen door. He gave a grateful bow of the head, and he left them all waving from their seats.

"I'm proud of you, my darling children," Molly beamed as she too took a seat around the table.

"I don't think I could hate him even if I tried now," Charlie said, scrunching up his nose. "And believe me I've tried."

"Yeah, he's living all on his own, turning his back on the only family member he has left," Tonks muttered sadly, and shook her head. "No one deserves that, no matter who they are."

Everyone nodded in silence, and Hermione felt as if the famous weight had been lifted of her small shoulders. Sure, they didn't exactly adore him, but at least they tolerated him, which was really something, all things considered.

"I'm really exhausted too, you guys," Ginny said. "I think I'm going to steal a room and crash for a few hours."

Eventually, nearly everyone decided to take a well deserved break from the day, still having several hours left of the evening even with a few hours of sleep crammed in. They piled up the stairs, leaving only Molly, Remus and Tonks still sitting in the kitchen. Hermione smiled gratefully at her family, and knew she didn't have to say a word. They knew. She gave a tiny wave, and opened the door to her bedroom, finding it bathing in complete darkness.

Almost feeling a bit comforted by the dark, she closed the door without turning on the lights. She stumbled towards the mirror, and could barely see her pale face being reflected, looking almost grey in the pitch dark room. Absently, she removed her warm shirt and let out of breath of relief as the cold air soothed her.

She felt him long before she saw him. Every fibre in her body could sense his presence as he came up behind her. Even when he was still several steps away, she felt him there. Her eyes rose to meet her reflection in the mirror and saw him stop right behind her. She watched calmly as his hand rose, but her eyes snapped shut the moment his fingers met her skin. His hand ran slowly down her neck, continuing down beside her bra strap, meeting soft curves before the thin fabric stopped him.

Both his arms then coiled around her waist, leaving her to lean against his bare chest. She drowned in the surreal feeling of pleasure after so long, wondering how on earth she had ever managed to do without it. Her head fell back against his shoulder as he kissed her neck hungrily, a moan of pleasure escaping her lips. She turned her face towards him and kissed his jaw line softly, trailing kisses across it. When he smiled, she turned around in his arms and wrapped her hands around his neck, trying to memorise exactly what his face looked like at that exact moment.

As his breath tickled her lips just before he caught her mouth with his, his hand rand down her back and opened the clasp on her bra within seconds. She let her hands fall from his neck for a moment to let the piece of fabric slide off, but she never broke the kiss. He pulled her so close she nearly lost her breath, but she still answered his passion desperately. She moaned against him at the feel of skin against skin again, and broke the kiss abruptly.

"It's been so long," she whispered, and he answered by running his hands tenderly over her shoulders, down towards her breast, but he ignored them and rested his touch on her stomach instead. She watched him through glazed eyes, biting her lower lip desperately, knowing very well he was teasing her on purpose. Draco chuckled warmly, and gave her a quick kiss on the lips, before pressing his lips to her breast.

He continued to tease her, touch and caress her until she could hardly stand upright anymore. The feeling of him was so overwhelming after so many nights of longing to no avail, picturing him beside her, when there was nothing but emptiness there. Now he had lowered her carefully onto the bed, their clothes strewn carelessly across the floor. She pulled him down on top of her, running her hands wherever they reached, enjoying the burning sensation he evoked deep in her stomach.

She dug her nails into his back, leaning close to his ear and nibbled it playfully.

"Draco," she whispered so tenderly against his ear that he barely even heard her. But he rose his head slightly to meet her eyes and smiled affectionately, running his hands through her curly hair, which was spread out over the pillow.

"You won't believe how long I've been waiting for this," he muttered against her cheek, sending several more shivers through her.

"I have a faint idea," she replied and caught his lips in a soft kiss, and her ecstatic happiness peaked when he began moving slowly against her. She clung desperately to him, and lost the little that was left of her self control within moments. The sound of their moans mixed together in her ears just as she released the last, panting cry.

He fell to rest on top of her, stroking her across the face so tenderly that a tear escaped her closed eyes and ran down her cheek.

"What's wrong?" he asked in concern, using his thumb to dry it, and she shook her head slightly.

"I just love you so much," she whispered, and closed her arms around his neck in a tight embrace. "And I can't believe you're here… with me."

"You know," he whispered against her ear. "I've pictured this every night, remembering how you felt. How perfect you are."

She turned to press her lips against his cheek, still holding him tightly.

"But this was more perfect than I could ever imagine. You are more amazing than my tiny brain can even comprehend."

Draco fell onto his back beside her and pulled her with him. She rested in the nook of his arm, concentrating on the smell of him, how he felt against her body, how his chest rose and fell under her hand. She didn't want to lose this again. It had been three years, and to be honest she had expected to never feel him close again. But now she could actually lose it forever. What would she do if she could never have this again? ¨

"Don't leave me," she begged, pushing herself closer.

"We have to go downstairs soon," he replied with a little smile, but she didn't loosen her hold.

"Don't leave me on my own forever," she said then, hiding her face against his chest. He put his hand under her chin and turned it upwards. Their lips met again, and the kiss soon deepened, leaving them both gasping for breath.

"We have to go downstairs," Hermione panted, running her hand over his hair.

"I think we can postpone that a little," he said playfully, and she felt his hand run over her thigh, making her shiver against him. She didn't need anymore persuasion than that.

A while later, he was standing in the middle of the floor getting dressed, as she still lay underneath the covers eyeing him without discretion. He knew she was looking, and gave a crooked smile before he drew his black t-shirt over his head. Hermione bit her lip as she watched his muscles work, before the dark shirt hid them from view. He looked damn good in that shirt.

"I'll go downstairs first," he volunteered, and picked up her knickers. He threw it on the bed for her, and she swung her legs over the edge of the bed, putting them on in with trained movements. She pulled them on completely by jumping up from her seat, hitting the floor with a small thud..

"I'll be down in five minutes or so."

He nodded absently, and put his hand on the door as she began searching for her scattered clothes. She finally found her bra by the dresser, and straightened up just in time to see Draco darting towards her. She watched him in surprise as he bent down and kissed her quickly.

"I love you, my beautiful." He smiled, and she nearly melted on the spot. Before she could pull herself together enough to speak, he had closed the door behind him and she was left alone in her room.

She gathered all her clothes, deciding to put on a top instead of a warm sweater, and let herself fall onto the bed. It all felt insane, so incredibly right and pleasurable, but she couldn't help but wonder how long it would last. How long until he found another reason to run? She began to wonder if the real obstacle was his own mind. It grew more and more clear to her that while the outside forces were challenging, his own doubts and old prejudice was perhaps even more so. She didn't doubt that he loved her, but eighteen years of hatred towards people of her kind didn't just erase itself.

**A/N:**Thanks for all reviews. You are aaamazing.


	21. XX : Losing Control

**A/N****Important**: I want to explain my idea with this chapter, because I know some people are probably going to find it strange. Hermione is a very controlled person in general. Yes, she ended up losing herself to Draco, but she still likes to be in control and will not say anything she doesn't want to reveal. So by making her lose control, I want to make her reveal things she normally wouldn't.

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**XX ; Losing Control**

She walked down the stairs raising her eyebrows at the loud chatter from the kitchen. When she entered, everyone was down there, standing around in a kitchen that looked rather different from how she left it. It was decorated colourfully, and the table was packed with cakes and other delicious desserts.

"Wow, what happened here?" Hermione exclaimed, her eyes darting swiftly around the room.

"I thought we could all use one last carefree gathering before a difficult time," Molly explained from her seat by Charlie. "Eat food, have fun, dance."

Hermione grinned at that, and found Ginny and Harry standing by the window together, both of them clutching a Butterbeer.

"What do you know? A party in the Grimmauld household," Hermione greeted, doing a little dance as she came up to them.

"My, aren't we happy." Ginny laughed, giving her a knowing look.

"Do I need a reason to be?"

"Oh, I see right through you, Hermione," the redhead replied, giving her a wink. Hermione replied with a shocked gaze, ignoring the knowing look on her friend's face.

"Right," she said slowly, not quite knowing what to reply at all. She turned around, scanning the room, wondering if Draco had left or if he had been hauled in here by Molly. It seemed that the latter was the right prediction. He was standing on the other end of the kitchen, talking quietly with Remus, gesturing a bit as Remus nodded slowly. Hermione's face broke into a smile as she watched them converse, and suddenly felt a nudge in the ribs.

"Ow," she complained as she turned towards Ginny, who was wiggling her eyebrows wildly.

"Harry, will you get your girlfriend under control?" Hermione whined, and gave Ginny soft punch to the shoulder.

"I've tried that. Doesn't work," he said dryly, taking a sip of his Butterbeer as the girl next to him gave him a menacing stare.

"Why are you nudging me and wiggling your eyebrows anyway?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest in an annoyed gesture.

"Oh, my little darling," Ginny replied, shaking her head. "Cause you had sex, obviously."

"I did no such — what on earth makes you think that?!"

Hermione huffed loudly, tightening her arms over her chest and pursed her lips together in a thin line.

"First of all, Draco is wearing the silliest grin I've seen in my entire lifetime. And second of all… you danced your way over here."

"Well, there's music." Hermione shrugged, narrowing her eyes, trying not to give the game away, even if it seemed lost already.

"You can deny it until your face turns blue, but you can't fool me," Ginny said, patting her shoulder gently.

Hermione sighed heavily, and rolled her eyes at Harry, who did his very best to not get in the way.

"Whatever." She sighed, and gave Ginny a warning look. "That was not an admission to anything. Drop it."

"Alright, alright," her friend relented, holding her hands innocently up in the air. "Dropping it."

Hermione smiled, and turned to the table holding several delicious cakes and desserts. She found herself a cookie that changed topping every now and again, and sat down across from Charlie, resting her elbows on her table. She took a bite of the cookie and chewed absently on it.

"Sick of staying here?" Charlie asked from across the table.

"Yeah, I feel pretty locked up," she admitted. "I keep picturing all the things I'm going to do when I get out of here."

"Ah yeah. Got any plans?"

"Oh lord, you have no idea." Hermione smiled, just as Draco took a seat next to her, quickly followed by both Remus and Tonks. "I'm going to the theatre to see a musical. I always wanted to do that. Then I'm going to Diagon Alley. I haven't even been there in ages, to be honest. There are a lot of things I've been neglecting."

"Work has kept you busy," Tonks commented. "It's not like you can help it."

"That's not entirely true," Hermione admitted. "It isn't work that has kept me busy. I'm the one who has kept myself busy with work, so I didn't have to return to everyday life."

"I suppose we all realised that," Charlie said quietly.

"But I'm not going to do that anymore. Spending all this time with you guys has opened my eyes again. So when I'm free from this place, I'll visit The Burrow for family dinners. I also think I'd like to go back to Hogwarts."

"Are you sure?" Remus asked carefully.

"Yeah. I know I've refused to go there before, because of... how things turned out. But I think it's the best thing to do."

"If you're certain," Charlie nodded carefully.

"I might change my mind at the last minute, but right now I feel that... Hogwarts was a great time of my life, and I want to go back to remind myself that they aren't bad memories. They're good."

Hermione smiled at the man across from her, eating the last piece of her cookie. She looked up just in time to see Draco place a Butterbeer in front of her, and he took his seat again, opening his own Butterbeer with a trained movement.

"Thanks," she said gratefully, and he gave her a small wink as he took a sip.

She suddenly noticed that everyone around the table, including Fred and George who were standing up against the wall, were eyeing Draco with expressions she couldn't quite interpret. He seemed to have picked up on it too, and he lowered his hand hesitantly. People quickly tried to pretend like nothing had happened.

"Oh," he muttered, sighing as he realised what it was. Hermione, on the other hand, still looked around on the awkward crowd around her.

"I'm sorry. I should have put my robe back on," Draco apologised, and made to get up.

"It's alright, mate," Harry quickly assured him. "It's just a bit weird to see it like that."

Hermione suddenly realised that he was wearing a t-shirt, short sleeved like t-shirts always were. The black mark on his arm, still etched firmly in to his skin, though it seemed to have paled since Voldemort had been vanquished.

"Yeah, we know you're on our side," Fred said from the wall, but Draco remained standing by his chair.

"I'm not usually that comfortable with anyone seeing it," he said slowly, looking uncomfortable.

"At least it's a lot paler," Hermione suddenly said, and gripped his arm from where she was sitting. He struggled at first, but then relaxed and let her hands close around his arm right underneath the mark. "It used to be a lot more defined, darker and it moved, which it doesn't at all now."

Hermione didn't miss the shocked gazes she got at that, perhaps because it hadn't dawned on them until then that she had seen it when it was almost fresh. Not that it usually paled with time, but the fall of Voldemort was bound to have an effect on it.

"Any change is for the better, I suppose," he said quietly. "I can't hide the fact that I wish it would disappear for good."

"To be quite honest, I doubt it ever will," she replied sympathetically, and let his arm go, though a bit reluctantly.

"I know. But to be marked for life by someone you hate isn't exactly fun, no matter how consensual it was at the time," he grimaced, and got strangled sound from Harry.

"Tell me about it," he said, rolling his eyes. "I can't ever cut my fringe because of the hideous scar."

"At least you didn't choose yours," Draco said with a sad smile. "And yours is a sign of how good you are. Mine is a sign of how bad I am."

"I believe we've had this discussion before, Draco," she said exasperatedly. "Sit down... please."

He turned, and his expression softened as his eyes fell on her pleading expression. Slowly, he returned to his seat and drank absently from his Butterbeer again.

"Yeah, I remember that discussion," he finally replied, not meeting her eyes this time around.

"Good," she commented sternly. "Perhaps you also remember how I said that the mark does not define who you are, neither does it make you something you're not."

"How do you know what I am?" he asked, suddenly looking a bit too grave for her liking.

She sighed, not really wanting to take these kinds of discussions in front of everyone, but she turned around to face him, finding him biting his lip, obviously concerned by whatever it was he was thinking. She placed her hands on his cheeks and forced him to meet her eyes, and she held them locked with hers for several moments.

"I still see the person who couldn't kill. Who couldn't, and wouldn't, live up to the fate someone else had designed for him," she concluded, and let his face go, turning the other way again.

"Who says I didn't kill during the war?" he asked in a pained voice, and Hermione sighed heavily.

"Draco, it was war. Do you think none of us killed?" she asked intently, suddenly having a harsh tone to her voice. "Don't you think I killed? Don't you think I had to do something I promised myself I never would?"

She swallowed heavily at that, and tried to calm herself down, suppressing the memory of the cloaked figure falling to the ground with a sickening thud. Without really thinking it through, she shot her hand across the table and grabbed Remus's Firewhiskey and tipped the glass against her mouth.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Draco called from beside her, and snatched the glass out of her hand. "Calm down."

She gave him an accusing stare, and tried desperately to get the glass out of his grip.

"Look, I'm sorry I obviously brought up something you'd rather not think about, but that's no reason to drown your worries in alcohol," he said intently, giving the now half-full glass of Firewhiskey back to Remus, who hid it safely out of arms length.

"Don't you tell me what to do," she hissed angrily, knowing very well she wasn't really angry at him, but at things she had buried way down and hadn't planned on digging up again.

"Yes, I know, you don't like to be commanded," he said dully. "You proved that once already when you nearly killed yourself on a broomstick."

"I'm getting another Firewhiskey," she announced defiantly, but he rose and pushed her back into the chair.

"If you want to drink for the fun of it, then be my guest," he said calmly, inches from her face as he bent down. "But I'm not letting you get into the habit of drowning your problems in alcohol. It's a path you don't want to go down."

"I don't have problems," she muttered, closing her eyes to shield herself from his penetrating gaze.

"I can see that," he commented dryly, and she felt his hands on her shoulders. "Look, let's not think about whatever it is right now. We have plenty of time to worry. Molly made this all so that we could have a good time."

"Fine," she relented, crossing her arms over her chest. "Can I at least have a Butterbeer? The kind with alcohol in it?"

"Yeah, I suppose that's a fair compromise," he nodded, and let go of her shoulders. She darted up immediately, and made her way to the beverage table.

To her despair, she was joined by Ginny who gave her a stern look. Hermione sighed as she opened the Butterbeer, feeling ashamed by her own behaviour.

"You can't let that bother you still," Ginny said intently.

"I can't help but playing it over in my head. Seeing him fall, knowing I had taken someone's father or brother or son," Hermione said in a pained voice. "But the worst part is... that if I hadn't hesitated, Ron could probably have been alive."

"Hermione, don't do that to yourself," Ginny said fiercely, gripping her by the shoulders. "You know there wasn't anything you could do to save him. You killed the man as quickly as you could, and even if it unfortunately wasn't soon enough, you have no fault."

"I'd like to believe that," she replied quietly, putting the now empty box in the window sill and grabbed a new one while ignoring Ginny's concern look.

"You need to get your mind off that. At least for tonight, and then we can talk about it later if you want to"

"I know," Hermione replied and put up a grin. "I'm fine."

"So, how was it earlier?" Ginny asked in a hushed voice, leaning in eagerly.

"You so aren't giving up, are you?"

"Never."

"Oh alright, it was good," Hermione replied quickly. "No it wasn't. It was fantastic... incredible. Can't even be explained."

Ginny beamed. "That's my girl."

"You should try holding out for three years. The effect is astounding," Hermione suggested, and Ginny gave a loud laugh.

"Oh, dear. I think I'll pass."

"Is Harry really that irresistible?" Hermione asked teasingly.

"Yes."

Hermione gave her a playful nudge, and smiled genuinely for the first time since the awkward turn of conversations. Seconds later she felt a tap on her shoulder, and she turned around to find Draco standing behind her with a silly grin.

"May I have this dance?" he asked in a formal voice, holding out his hand for her. "Since I never did get to dance with you at the Yule Ball."

"But we did dance." She laughed, knowing they were all watching them now. "On the roof later."

"But never in public." He smiled, still holding his arm out for her.

"There's no suitable music," she protested with a laugh, putting her half finished Butterbeer down on the table with the other beverages.

"Molly?" Draco asked, turning his head slightly back towards the grinning Mrs. Weasley. She swung her wand elegantly, and the tones of smooth waltz filled the kitchen.

Hermione shook her head in amusement, and placed her hand gently in his, letting him pull her to the middle of the floor. With one calculated thug of her arm, she had been swung against him and straight into the correct position. She heard Ginny gasp at the move, which looked undoubtedly elegant and professional from their point of view. The familiar feeling of wondering how she could fit so nicely into his hold reappeared, and she smiled happily up at him. She knew she barely had to move at all. He would do all the work, and she only had to lift her feet so she didn't get tangled into his.

When the music hit the correct beat, he began leading her across the floor and she instantly gained the feeling of floating across it. All her worries seemed to disappear from her mind, and she only enjoyed the feeling of his arms guiding her. They twirled across the room, and she knew she looked like a better dancer than she really was. When she closed her eyes, she could see herself in her deep red dress, and remembered the perfect ending to the Yule Ball evening. It was absurd saying it, but it actually felt like simpler times now.

When the music stopped he slowed them down, but didn't let her go even when they stopped to a halt in the middle of the floor where they began. The others applauded them, and she was sure she saw a tear in Molly's eyes. His arms left the position they had been in, and he used both of his hands to stroke her hair back. She let her arms fall and coil around his waist.

"I remember you in that red dress." He chuckled. "You nearly sent me falling to the ground head first."

"Well this was a good re-enactment, even without the fancy clothes," she said warmly.

"So I'm a better dancer than Krum?" he replied with a twinkle in his eyes, barely suppressing a grin.

"I see where you're going with this," she said warningly, raising her eyebrows.

"Well, I believe one thing is missing to make it a perfect re-enactment of the happenings." He winked, and she could no longer hide her smile.

He bent down and closed his lips of hers, completely ignoring the crowd still eyeing them from across the room. The kiss was soft and tender, and she answered it in the same affectionate manner, before breaking free.

"Better kisser than Krum too," she said, not able to keep the laughter completely from her voice, and he broke into an instant chuckle.

"Oh, this is not mental at all," he commented. "It's been three years and we still remember exactly what we said, word for word."

She smiled in reply, letting him put his arm around her and lead her back to the table, but they never did get that far. Within moments they had been run down by a bouncing redhead, who wrapped her hands tightly around them both.

"You are the cutest couple I've ever seen," she cried, holding them tightly.

"Gin... It was just a dance." Hermione chuckled.

"No it was way more than that. Oh, don't make me explain," she dismissed, pulling away, and Hermione noticed she had to dry her eyes.

"I didn't mean to make you cry," she said in puzzlement, and Ginny shot her an exasperated look.

"I'm moved to tears, you goofball."

"Ooh… erm," Hermione replied with a nervous laugh, definitely not knowing what to say to that. She hadn't exactly meant to leave the two female Weasleys in a river of tears.

Hermione smiled at Draco, before slipping out of his hold and went to join Fred and George by the wall.

"Quite a show," Fred commented, holding out a newly opened Butterbeer for her.

"Oh yeah, I'm sorry about that. I got kind of lost in it," she apologised with a small blush creeping into her cheeks.

"Don't be, Hermione," George assured her, and she put up a wondering expression, finding it odd how they had suddenly turned around so completely.

"I know things are weird," she said then, clutching the box comfortingly in her hand.

"Things haven't been un-weird for years."

"I suppose that's true." Hermione smiled, and suddenly noticed George flicking his wand in the air.

"We need some more cheerful music," he announced, and both twins dragged her onto the floor as the tunes of the more contemporary dance music appeared. She shrieked with laughter as they hauled her along, and somewhere along the way both Ginny and Harry got tangled up in the web.

They began dancing happily to the carefree music. Well, more bouncing than dancing, she supposed, and she laughed happily as Ginny gave her a small twirl on the floor. After several more songs, and a few more Butterbeers, she stumbled laughingly away from the floor. Tripping over her own feet slightly, she reached Draco where he was sitting in his chair by the table, and she wrapped her hands around his neck from behind. She giggled happily, and pressed her lips to his cheek, grinning so widely her cheeks nearly split in two.

"There you are." He smiled. "I'm like the old retired guy sitting here muttering at the kids and their modern day music."

She chuckled loudly and began kissing his neck lovingly.

"A cute retired, old guy. Except you're not old. And you're not retired," she giggled. "And you're more a man than anything else... you smell nice. But you always smell nice."

"Well at least that's good to know. Personal hygiene is always important."

"You smell like you. I've missed that smell of you," she proclaimed, and Draco shot an apologetic grimace at the others sitting across from them.

Before he was even prepared, she had swung herself around the chair and into his lap giggling hysterically. He moaned as she landed hard into his lap, but she didn't notice and curled herself up on it, resting her head against his shoulder. He wrapped his hand carefully around her back and rested it on her thigh, holding her in place in case she should fall off.

"You know, Draco..." she began, pronouncing the r with an odd little trill.

"I'm not so sure I want to know," he answered honestly, and gave the people in front of them a slight grimace.

"You make me tingle," she announced happily, and he adapted an amused expression.

"Really," he replied, not able to keep the laughter from his voice.

"It's true," she called indignantly. "You do all the time. I can feel myself tingling right now."

He gave a nervous laugh at that, and tensed a bit when he felt her lips against his neck.

"Don't get me wrong... I think that's good... but I also happen to think that you've had a bit too much to drink," he said carefully, and reached his free hand up to stroke the hair away from her face.

"No!" she protested loudly, dragging the o out too long to be even remotely believable. "I just had a few Firewhiskeys when you weren't looking. And some Butterbeers. And then more Butterbeers."

He sighed at that, and stroked her thigh absently.

"Maybe we should get you some coffee," he suggested calmly.

"No. This is fun," she grinned, running her hand over his chest.

"Erm yes. But I like it better in… private," he said uncomfortably, trying to suppress the glances they were getting.

"Oooo," she cooed, resting her hand on his stomach.

"No, no, no," he chastised with a slight smile. "That wasn't a hint."

"Meanie," she huffed with a large pout.

"Yes, I'm really bad," he replied, smiling down at her.

"No, I've been bad," she suddenly said, licking her lips. "Punish me."

"Hermione!" he squeaked in horror, not quite believing what he heard. She wasn't even like this in the privacy of their bed, let alone in front of her entire family.

"You're blushing," she cried in delight, and his cheeks grew even redder at that.

"So would you if you hadn't drunk all your inhibitions straight out the window," he commented dryly, deliberately not looking up at Molly, Remus, Charlie and Tonks still sitting right across from them at the table.

He then lifted her off his lap, and got up so she couldn't sit down again. She stood there, looking uncertain and rejected, eyeing him with large eyes.

"Don't look at me like that," he pleaded with a sigh. "I'm just trying to spare you some embarrassment tomorrow morning."

"Yeah right," she said, suddenly sounding choked. She wrapped her arms around her chest, tears forming in her eyes.

"Oh Merlin. Don't cry," he exclaimed in a pained voice, not knowing what to do.

"You don't want me," she suddenly cried, the tears rolling down her face now. A feeling of dread ran through him, and wondered how on earth he could get away from this rather embarrassing situation. How could he explain that he did want her, without actually offending the other people in the room?

He tried to step closer to her, but she backed away with a closed up expression on her face.

"Hermione," he exclaimed in frustration, throwing his arms out. "You know very well that that's not true!"

She didn't answer him at all, she just looked sad and insecure, and he didn't know what to do. To talk sense to her now was almost impossible. Drunk people usually didn't want understand sense at all. She began walking away from him, walking towards the table with alcohol, in fact. It didn't take long until she stumbled over her own feet, and he shot forwards and grabbed her to keep her from falling.

"Let me go," she protested, and he could still see the tears in the corner of her eyes."Not a chance," he replied calmly, and held her firmly. "You have to stop this nonsense."

"What nonsense?" she asked indignantly.

"This silly notion that I don't want you," he replied quietly, but he knew people could still hear him. "I've spent three years doing nothing but want you."

"I don't make you tingle," she sniffed, and he sighed in exasperation.

"No?" he asked intensely, and suddenly drew her as close as he could. He wrapped one arm around her waist, feeling her warm curves press against him. Without a word he took her hand and put it on his chest, exactly where his heart was racing uncontrollably.

Her eyes widened at the feel of the heavy thuds against her hand, and he led her other hand around to his back. He then ran his hands over her shoulders, her cheeks, her hair, drawing in the scent of her hair. The familiar shiver ran through him, his entire body tense now. She had definitely felt the shiver, cause she withdrew her hand with a quick motion, her mouth hanging open.

"All you," he said simply, and released her just like that, not meeting the eyes of the others in the room. "And now you're going to bed."

Her eyes lit up, and he nearly cried in exasperation.

"To sleep," he added dryly, and she crossed her hands over her chest again.

"No, I want to stay. I'm doing fine."

He didn't reply to that. All he did was bend down and lift her up into his arms, determined not to let her embarrass herself any further. She cried indignantly, and fought against his grip, but he had no troubles holding her there.

"Thank you everyone, I've had a good time," he said politely, sounding rather absurd considering. "I will be going back to the Manor, but I'll be back tomorrow."

The others waved uncertainly at him, and he carried Hermione out the kitchen door and up the stairs. She stopped fighting him eventually, and he got her inside the bedroom without too much ado. Carefully, he lowered her down on the bed and looked at her with a drawn expression. Did she really think he didn't want her, or was it just drunk rambling?

"You should join me," she said then, stumbling over the words as she spoke.

"I don't think that's a good idea," he said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I want to so badly, but I want you to be less drunk and more present."

She reached over and wrapped her arms around his waist, and he felt his self control wither away. He tried to get a grip on it again, and turned around to face her.

"Plus, I think you'd fall asleep on me," he commented dryly and to his surprised she gave a small laugh.

"You're probably right about that," she admitted and fell back towards the pillows.

He began unbuttoning her jeans, but she didn't even notice. Unfortunately, he noticed very much, and had to restrain himself immensely. He removed her jeans and her top, leaving her in her underwear, and he wrapped the covers gently around her. She smiled widely through her drunken haze, and he before he straightened up to leave he bent down and met her lips. To his surprise, she was conscious enough to answer it, leaving him with the urge to stay lost in her soft kiss forever.

-----

**A/N:** Err, yeah. Just don't ask. LOL.


	22. XXI : To Be or Not To Be

**A/N**: Early update today! This is very different from the last chapter, but I think it's actually one of my favourite chapters despite the fact that it's less action and more talk.

----

**XXI ; To Be or Not To Be**

Hermione woke up the next morning with a horrible headache. It felt as if her head was thrice as big as it usually was, and when she walked downstairs towards to the kitchen every step seemed to echo in her head. She was entirely confused. For some reason, she felt horrified by something, but she couldn't quite remember what. At some point, most of the happenings went black, and only snippets of conversation appeared in her head. But she knew from experience that she would get flashbacks. Horrible, horrible flashbacks.

When she entered the kitchen, she flung herself towards the kettle resting on the stove without even looking at the ones who had stayed after the party last night, whoever that was. She poured the black liquid into the largest mug she could find, and found a seat by the table, still not looking up at whoever was there. Her hair fell like a curtain in front of her face, and the dim lighting in the kitchen felt almost unbearable. Sipping to the hot coffee, she cursed herself for letting it get too far. God only knew what she had managed to do.

"Bad morning?" Tonks said in an amused voice from beside her and Hermione groaned in reply.

"I don't know whether to be happy or frustrated that I can't remember anything from the last part of the evening," she said wearily, finally looking up to find Tonks and Remus sitting there, the others obviously having gone back to their own households.

"I vote happy," Tonks replied dryly.

"Oh no."

"Oh yes," Remus nodded with a sympathetic grimace, and Hermione hid her face in her hands.

"Who do I need to apologise to?" she asked wearily, and both of the others smiled at that.

"That depends," Tonks admitted. "I think Molly was kind of shocked when you climbed into Draco's lap and asked him to 'punish you'."

"What?" Hermione cried, nearly dropping the mug in her hands. "You're joking."

"Afraid not."

"Oh my God. Oh. My. God."

She shook her head in disbelief, but regretted it instantly. Her hands shot up to support it, honestly wondering if it was going to fall off.

"Hermione, you need to eat, or you'll just get worse," Remus said, trying to meet her eyes under her hands.

Knowing he was right, she got up to find herself something, but he pushed her back.

"I'll get it for you," he volunteered, but she protested instantly.

"I brought this upon myself."

"Even so." He smiled, getting out pots and pans from the cabinet by the stove.

She smiled carefully in gratitude to her old Professor, and kept pouring the black coffee down her throat while watching Tonks flip through the decorating magazines again.

"So you're really moving in here?" Hermione asked in between sips.

"That's the plan. If we can make it liveable," the vibrant female answered. "It's too gloomy for me here. I need some more colours. Maybe hot pink and purple."

Remus turned around at that, looking about as horrified as Hermione felt. His girlfriend just gave a hearty laugh, and winked at Hermione.

"You're so gullible. Of course we're not painting in hot pink, honey," she said with her head bowed over the magazine. "How silly would my hair look if it matched the wall?"

Hermione broke into a laugh at that, ignoring the splitting ache in her head.

"Ah yes, of course. That would look entirely stupid," Remus stated dully from the stove, and soon turned around carrying a plate of egg and bacon that he put in front of Hermione. She smiled in gratitude, and started digging in even if she wasn't all that hungry to be honest.

"Thank you, Remus."

"You don't want me to pick out the colours?" Tonks asked teasingly.

Hermione didn't hear his answer. The words just rang in her ears. _You don't want me_... she suddenly remembered herself standing in the middle of the kitchen floor screaming those exact words at a very frustrated Draco. A flush of shame crept up in her cheeks as several other snippets reappeared in her head. She had been so childish that he had even had to show her. Or so she gathered, since she could vaguely remember herself standing with her hand on his chest feeling his heart beat heavily underneath it. She groaned heavily, making Tonks and Remus look at her with interest.

"Flashback," she explained quickly, and returned to her meal as best she could.

"Ah. From what?"

"You don't want me," she said dryly, and the two others 'oh'ed in comprehension.

"Well, if it's any consolation, that's the worst one," Remus said softly.

"How's that a consolation?" She sighed, wanting more than ever that a black hole would come swallow her whole.

"Other flashbacks won't be as bad," he simply stated, and she relented at that.

She ate her meal in silence then, feeling slowly better by the food, but still had a splitting headache and didn't feel like moving from the chair at all for days. Pushing her plate to the side, she placed her hands on the table and rested her head on them, hoping to just fall asleep and wake up a week later.

"Well, you're certainly less cheerful this morning," a deep voice said, and she rose her head in confusion to find Draco standing tall in the doorway, leaning casually against the wall.

She grunted an answer, and he gave a small laugh, inviting himself to come in. He took a seat next to her as he greeted the other two, who smiled carefully back, and she remembered the horrible embarrassment from last night yet again. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and let it out rather shaking.

"Are you alright?" he asked in concern, bowing his head slightly to watch her face.

"Define alright," she said with a grimace, and he chuckled. "My head hurts like a bitch, I wish I could fall asleep and wake up next week, I've had horrible flashbacks to my tantrums last night and I'm a git. But yes, I'm fine."

He gave a crooked smile at that, and inclined his head as she got another pained expression across her face.

"Draco, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I really don't," she apologised forcefully. "It was a stupid thing to say and I'm really sorry if I offended you."

"Alcohol came over you," he commented dryly. "And it's okay."

"No, it's not," she replied quietly, and nearly jumped a mile when she felt his hand stroking her hair back.

"We'll deal with that later," he said gently, and turned to pull a vial out of his pocket. He put it in front of her on the table, and she watched the orange contents with worry.

"It's my personally designed hangover potion," he explained in a flat voice, not meeting her eyes at that. "It'll make you feel a lot better."

She took it, but looked at it with distaste nonetheless.

"Hey, I was your assigned potions partner. Do you doubt my potions abilities?" He chuckled, and she had to give a smile at that.

"No, I don't," she replied, and opened the vial carefully. Scrunching up her face in a small grimace, she downed the contents in one swallow.

She felt instantly even sleepier, and gave Draco a doubtful look. He smiled reassuringly, and put his arm around her.

"You'll fall asleep for a little while and once you wake up you'll feel a whole lot better."

She nodded carefully as she felt her eyelids grow steadily heavier. As her body grew limper, she let Draco put his arms around her, and pull her down into his lap. Her head rested comfortably in his lap, and she yawned deeply as he began stroking her hair affectionately.

Hermione opened her eyes staring right up into a pair of steel grey eyes. Even if she felt a bit disoriented, and for the time being not so sure as to why she was looking up into his face, she smiled happily up at him. This was what she wanted. She wanted him to be the first thing she saw in the morning. The reason why she was lying in his lap looking up at him suddenly hit her with full force. She rose carefully, and he helped her up.

"Feel better?" he asked, and she beamed at him.

"My head doesn't even hurt anymore. And I feel like I could run a marathon," she said in bewilderment. "This stuff is amazing. You should sell it."

He chuckled and made sure she was sitting up straight before letting her go. "Maybe I could get rich on it."

Hermione turned and suddenly noticed the kitchen was a lot fuller than it had been when she had taken the potion and gone to sleep. Ginny and Harry were seated right across from her, and they were both fighting amused grins, presumably because of the memories from last night. Further along, Charlie and Molly sat sipping on a mug of coffee each. The twins were nowhere to be seen, but they always were busy. Remus and Tonks seemed to have left as well.

"Morning, Hermione." Ginny grinned, and Hermione answered in an overly dignified manner.

"Glad you're feeling better, dear," Molly said with a smile.

"From my show yesterday I would probably have deserved being in pain," Hermione muttered. "Molly… I'm so incredibly sorry."

"Oh, don't worry about me," Molly said with a wave of her hand. "We've all been there."

"Been where?" Hermione asked in slight puzzlement, doubting very much that Molly had ever climbed up on Arthur's lap in front of her family and asked him to 'punish her'.

"That place you go when you've had all too much to drink," she replied to Hermione's surprise, and evidently to her children's surprise as well. "Oh, don't look at me like that. I've been young too, you know."

"Well, thank God we're talking about Hermione's escapades today," Ginny commented with a sly grin, and Hermione shot her a pained look.

"How about... we don't," she said quickly, but Ginny shook her head.

"Can't let you off that easily." She grinned, putting up a pondering look. "I don't believe I've seen you quite that flirtatious before, Hermione."

"I wouldn't know," Hermione admitted. "I don't remember it. Only a few things here and there."

Ginny and Harry laughed loudly at that.

"It was quite a sight," Harry commented with a crooked grin, and Hermione blushed terribly, hoping they could just let it go.

"Are you aware you asked Draco to –"

"Yes," Hermione interrupted sternly. "I was kindly reminded this morning."

"Oh, don't be sad," Ginny smiled sweetly, and leaned in. "I'll punish you."

"Gin," she complained exasperatedly. "I really don't want to talk about this right now."

"Oh, but I do."

"Ginny, will you leave the poor girl alone?" Molly asked in a strict voice.

"Ah yes, Ginny. How could I forget?" Hermione said, laughter now apparent in her voice. "Let me see..."

"No, Hermione. No."

"I clearly remember Ginny leaving a certain phone message from my phone to Harry. And then it turned out you called my father. Yes, how could I forget," Hermione laughed.

"Hermione! You swore you wouldn't tell anyone," she hissed. "I don't know anything about phones. And I was drunk."

"Yes, and I weren't?"

"Oh alright. I'll leave you alone. For now."

Hermione smiled at that, and leaned back in her chair, hoping she could get away from last night sometime soon. She was sorely mistaken.

"Can I talk to you?" Draco suddenly asked, and she nodded quietly in reply, knowing she hadn't been let as easily off the hook as she had hoped.

She sent a worried grimace at Ginny as she left the kitchen, and her friend smiled sympathetically before turning towards her own boyfriend. Draco led her into the living room as soon as Hermione had closed the kitchen door behind her. They settled in the most secluded corner of the room, and Hermione sat down on a small table in lack of better seating arrangements. She looked up at him, waiting for him to lead the conversation.

"Look, I really am sorry," she said when he remained silent.

"I know you are," he assured quickly, and she rested her eyes on him as he watched his hands resting in his lap.

"I just need to know if that is how you really feel or if it was something completely random because of the alcohol," he continued. "But nothing comes out of the blue. It has to have come from somewhere?"

"Is what how I really feel?" she asked, but she had her suspicions.

"That I don't want you?"

"No. No I know that's stupid. At least I know it doesn't make sense. My logic knows that you do," she said quickly.

"But..."

"But I guess... I've caught myself wondering a few times over the years."

"Why?"

"Because I don't understand how you could keep away from me if you really wanted me." She sighed, pulling her legs up underneath herself on the table. "How you could just leave and never look back. And marry someone else."

"I didn't marry someone else," he protested quickly.

"That isn't the point. You would have if she hadn't died."

"Yes, I would."

"To me it doesn't make sense how you could just leave. I looked for you as subtly as I could. I tried to ask around under the cover that I resented you for Dumbledore's death. At one point I had an address in London, and I stood outside it for hours, debating back and forth what to do. And I saw you with someone else inside."

He looked devastated at that, but at that moment she didn't care. The pain of that moment came tumbling back.

"It was at that point I knew it was time to hide you in the back of my mind. Move on. Except I couldn't. The one guy I dated ended up being compared to you, falling so short it's not even funny and tossed aside. And it hurt too much to be reminded of what I had, and what he didn't give me, and what I couldn't have back. So I buried myself in my work, and I put the moving on part on hold until I was ready"

"But you looked for me," he said quietly.

"Yes I did," she confirmed. "And you knew where I was all along. Never once did you check up on me, call me... nothing at all. How can I not have doubts, Draco? If you wanted me as much as I want you, how could you stay away?"

"Because I wanted you alive," he replied frustratingly, and she shook her head.

"I know all that. God knows I know that. It's all we've ever been focused around for years. But I can't help but feel that if you really wanted me, you wouldn't be with other people, let alone marry someone else"

"Hermione, I'm not going to lie..." he said quietly. "I've been with other girls."

She closed her eyes at that, feeling the pain in her fling through her. The unfairness of it all overwhelmed her. The thoughts of other girls with him tore her apart inside.

"It was three years, Hermione..."

"Yeah? Well it was for me too," she hissed fiercely. "I was with one other guy, and it was so horrible that I didn't even bother with it from then on. All it did was remind me of how you made me feel, and of what he didn't make me feel and of how much I loved you. How I couldn't have you."

He pursed his lips together at that, dropping his gaze to his lap.

"You left me sitting in what was supposed to be our apartment. You went off to marry some other girl, and when she died you just continued to sleep around with other girls. You never even checked up on me. You never even looked back. How can I not doubt, Draco?"

"I didn't think I would ever see you again. I thought I would lose you in the process of keeping you safe. I had issues with alcohol. I did a lot of things I regret doing, but I thought all was lost... I thought none of it would matter anymore," he said in a pained voice. "But I wanted so badly to be with you, to have you with me. I love you."

"You know I love you too, but right now..."

Her voice trailed off, and she threw her hands out in a half-shrug.

"But right now what?" he asked in a horrified tone of voice.

"Right now the thought of you with someone else is etched into my mind, and it doesn't feel so good," she admitted. "And it doesn't make me feel any less insecure."

She got up at that, feeling vulnerable on the path their conversation had taken. Her back turned to him and she walked back towards the kitchen.

"Hermione!" he called desperately, but she didn't turn around again.

She entered the kitchens again, trying to keep her face in a neutral expression, when the truth was that she felt entirely torn up inside from all the emotions she couldn't let go of.

"You okay?" Ginny asked in concern.

"Just fine," she said, smiling back, and turned to Harry. "There's a meeting soon, right?"

"Yeah, everyone should be around in a few. We have to figure out how we're organizing the guarding of the false location. Someone needs to be there at all times in case Lucius shows up."

"And I can't help," Hermione growled, giving them a menacing stare.

"No you can't," Ginny simply stated. "Where's Draco?"

"Probably in the living room still."

"Did you guys fight?" she asked in concern.

"Not really. We had a discussion," Hermione said calmly.

"They had a fight," Ginny and Harry said in unison, just as Draco entered, looking closed up and sour. He took his seat next to Hermione, but they both ignored each other.

The two people in front of them gave each other weary looks, and began talking about safe subjects that Draco and Hermione merely nodded and 'mhm'ed to until more members of the Order started piling in. Harry got up with a concerned look towards the two rigid figures in front of him, and took his usual seat at the head of the table.

"Welcome everyone," he greeted, and people muttered their greetings back. "This is just a short meeting to establish the schedule for keeping guard at the fake location. We need at least three people there at all times, I'm afraid. We never know how many people Lucius will show up with, and it's better to be too many than too few until the people in question can send for the rest of us."

"Well, we'll all do shifts, so that's no issue," Charlie said from his seat, and the others confirmed his comment.

"I have a suggestion," Draco suddenly said from his seat, and everyone turned in surprise. "I think I should stay there permanently."

"You mean you would live in that abandoned house?" Harry asked with his eyebrows raised.

"Sure. That way only two other people would have to be on a shift together."

"But that'd mean you'd have to be there all the time," Hermione said accusingly, looking at him for the first time since they had entered the kitchen.

"Yes, it would. I don't see how that'll be a problem, though. There's no one waiting for me at home. And there's nothing keeping me here."

His voice was cool as ice, and the others eyed him startled with obvious surprise. Hermione looked at him as well, but there was more contempt in her eyes than anything else. Nothing to keep him here. It was like a replay of when he left her at the flat. She felt such anger pulsate through her that she wanted to scream out loud. Rising from her chair, she kicked it back and walked towards the kitchen door with firm steps.

"Fuck you," she called as she went past him, and pushed the door open with a loud bang.

Draco sat frozen to his chair when she was out of the room. Every pair of eyes was on him, and he knew he had to control himself. He took two deep breaths, but the frustration of the situation overwhelmed him and he slammed his fist angrily into the table. He fell back into his chair, ran his hands through his hair and let out a frustrated breath.

"Draco, why did you say that?" Ginny asked in a pained voice.

"Say what? I don't even know what I said," he cried in frustration, throwing his arms out.

"You said there was nothing keeping you here," she explained calmly, watching him knit his brows into a frown.

"Is there?" he asked in confusion, and several of the people around him groaned in exasperation.

"Hermione, you daft prick, Hermione," Fred stated with a wave of his arms.

Comprehension dawned on Draco's face, and he knew he had really blown it. It was entirely not how he had meant it... at least he didn't think so. Maybe he had intentionally tried to hurt her after their conversation. The realisation made him want to smack himself as hard as he could, but he refrained from it and settled with resting his head in his hands, rubbing his temples furiously.

"Don't you realise what you just did?" Ginny asked slowly, with force on every word.

He looked up at that, and his forehead wrinkled as he thought through what she said, but wasn't entirely sure if he really got what she was suggesting.

"It brings back some unpleasant memories of the last time you left, doesn't it?" she asked calmly, clearly trying to get him to understand.

He threw his head backwards in frustration, and drew his hands over his face.

"Bloody hell," he exclaimed remorsefully and rose from his chair without looking at the rest of them, and nearly ran out, leaving the baffled Order behind. At least they had enough entertainment on their expense.

He found her just where he thought he would, curled up in the chair, covered by the darkness of the small library upstairs. Her head turned towards him the moment he entered, and he could clearly see the tears rolling down her cheeks. He felt a stab of pain at being the one who always brought her so much agony. Why couldn't he be different?

She looked up at his tall frame in the doorway and wrapped her own arms tighter around her own knees. He came closer to the chair, and she wanted to scream and shout, feeling so frustrated at the entire situation. The worst was that she couldn't escape from it. She was locked in this house. She couldn't go for a walk, or treat patients. It was there, all the time. And it was always so complicated and difficult. Was love really supposed to be this way?

He came up to her chair, and hunched down beside it, not saying a word to her, just sitting next to her in silence. They stayed that way for several moments, until she couldn't bear it any longer.

"Why do you keep doing this?"

"I don't know," he said honestly.

"You keep finding excuses to run from this thing," she commented. "From me."

"I guess I'm afraid."

"Well, I am too," she replied quietly. "And I'm not the one who keeps leaving."

"I know you don't. I don't deserve you."

"Well, even if you didn't, it's not about that," she said, drying her tears. "It's about the fact that we love each other. Maybe even too much. So much that it complicates everything, and makes both of us want to sacrifice things for the other, but just ends up hurting us both instead."

"I don't know why I said that in there," he commented then. "I didn't mean to imply you weren't important enough to keep me here."

"I just don't want you to leave," she muttered. "And all you seem to want to do is leave once it gets too hard or too intense."

He ran his hands through his hair, and sighed heavily at that, looking pained.

"I guess... sometimes I wonder if it's worth it," he confessed, and her shoulders fell at that.

She supposed she always had known there were doubts, she had even thought those thoughts in the private of herself, but it had always been drowned in the feeling of being with him.

"I can understand that," she whispered, ignoring the pain it caused her.

"Sometimes I hear my father's voice saying our children wouldn't be pureblood, that you have Muggle habits that I could never understand, that I'm 'befouling our traditional pureblood family'. And sometimes I wonder if we have too little in common, if the judgements from others would tear us down."

She nodded in silence at that, eyeing him carefully as he seemed to choose his words.

"But then I see you. And all I can remember is how happy I am when you're in the same room. How fulfilling it is to talk to you. How my stomach flips when you smile at me. How I long to hold you, and how having you close makes me feel. How your touch seems to make everything right."

He gripped her hand at that and pulled her up from the chair. She swallowed heavily, trying to keep her distance considering what they were talking about.

"I start doubting myself and how much I've really changed. And the right thing seems to be to keep away."

She caught his eyes, but couldn't help from pulling her face into a sad grimace.

"I don't want you to keep away," she whispered. "I want to deal with this together… for once."

"I don't know if I know how to," he confessed. "I've always done things on my own."

She gave a great sigh, still feeling his fingers entwined with hers. He felt close, but so far. She couldn't help but wonder if he might be better off with someone else. Some of the ones he had been with while she had been out of sight. And out of mind? It felt so entirely frustrating to have him here, but to know the odds were so against them that survival was almost at zero. Suddenly longing to go for a walk in the fresh air, she let go of his hand and turned towards the small window. Crossing her arms protectively over her chest, she leaned against the small table standing in front of it and looked out into what was nothing but another brick wall. She sighed in exasperation and hoisted herself up on the table instead.

Draco was standing limply in the same spot, looking at her with a mixture of concern, pain and something she couldn't interpret.

"What are you thinking?" he asked slowly, inclining his head as he watched her sitting on the table with her fingers clasped around the edge of it, hunching slightly forwards.

"Does it really matter?"

"I would rather know, than not know," he replied simply, and she sighed. She wasn't so sure he really wanted to know.

"I'm thinking about a lot of things," she answered evasively, perching her lips thoughtfully together.

"Then start with the first thing," he replied smartly, and she gave him a sharp look in return, to which he gave a crooked smile.

"Fine," she huffed, looking down on her own hand grasping the edge of the table. "If you must know, I think you would probably be better off with one of those girls you've been seeing. All we manage to do is argue. Our entire relationship is based on this insane love/hate passion, but is that even enough?"

She threw her hands out in a careless manner, before clutching the table again.

"This thing… us… will never be easy," she said fiercely, still not looking directly at him. "We're so different, our worlds are so different. We'll always have to fight for us, and you want to run at the slightest whiff of trouble. It'd be easier for you to stay with someone who doesn't drive you crazy"

"You complete nitwit," he sighed as he strode over to her weak looking figure. "Why would I want to be with someone who didn't drive me crazy?"

"Because it's easier," she replied with a shrug.

"And since when did easier equal better?" he inquired smartly as he stopped right in front of her. "What if I want someone who challenges me, someone who evokes feelings in me, whether good or bad? The fact that we argue is just another evidence of how much we care."

"If you care so much, then why won't you work this out together?" she asked, almost begging him to just hold her and promise her 'forever'.

His lips pulled into sad grimace and he reached out to rest his hand on her knee. He hesitated for a second as he felt the heat of her under his hand.

"Because no matter how much I care, I'm still who I am," he said quietly, before he rose his eyes from his hand and looked her straight in the eyes. "I've always dealt with things alone. I don't know how to incorporate anyone else, even if it means losing them if I don't."

"I just don't want you to leave," she confessed, looking crestfallen. "I know things are difficult, and right now I find it hard to get over that there have been other girls. But all I know is I want you to be here."

He nodded slowly at that, looking wrapped far into thought for a moment.

"There are a lot of things I don't know," he then said, obviously searching for the right words. "But if there's one thing I do know, it's that no one will ever mean as much to me as you do."

She took a rattling breath at that, and smiled weakly at his softening expression.

"And I promise you I will try my best to work things out together."

Draco was not prepared for his own reaction at how her face lit up at that moment. When she broke into a dazzling smile and her eyes seemed to sparkle wildly, his heart jumped uncomfortably up into his throat, and he instantly wondered how he could ever even think the thought of leaving her. She rested her hand over his arm, and he couldn't help but break into a silly grin. But once her radiant smile grew smaller on her lips, he noticed a shadow behind her brown eyes, and the reality of everything came tumbling back.

"You're thinking of something else, aren't you?" he asked carefully, trying hard not to sound accusing or exasperated. He watched in concern as she bit her lip at that, and he noticed she looked severely apprehensive.

"I'm thinking about Ron," she admitted hesitantly, and Draco instantly felt as if her hand had slapped him across the face. The words burned into his mind. How could he ever have thought he could compete with Weasley? They had been meant for each other since the day they met, from what he could gather. He felt his fists clench, and he turned slightly away from her, fighting his own emotions with all his might.

Hermione on the other hand, had no trouble seeing the thoughts spring across his face as they appeared. She could see his expression twist into distorted jealousy, and she took a deep breath as she realised what she had implied.

"Oh God, no," she exclaimed and jumped up from the table in a hurry. "Draco, not like that."

"Well, then like what?" he spat, his lips still pursed in a displeased grimace.

"I'm thinking about how he's gone forever. How my best friend is dead, and I will never see him alive again," she said, fighting the lump forming in her throat. "I'm thinking how I miss his friendship and his goofy behaviour, and of how I would feel if I could see him again just once."

Draco didn't reply at that, he just mumbled incoherently under his breath. He looked away from her on purpose, but she saw him react when she put her hand soothingly on his arm.

"And then I think how that could be you," she said calmly. "How it would feel to know I could never see you again, never talk to you or have you close."

He met her eyes with a doubtful expression, and she smiled sadly.

"But, you stupid idiot, you're alive. I'm alive. We still have the chance to be together, so why are we throwing it away?" she asked intensely.

"I am an idiot," he relented, and his arms fell to his side with a sigh. She chuckled at that, and rested her head carefully on his shoulder as she still clutched his arm.

"You are," she confirmed.

----

**A/N:** The one who reviewed the previous chapter predicting it was the calm before the storm hit the nail on the head. Hehehe. And actually, the same person has come with a frighteningly accurate prediction in another review ;)

Thank you all. Thankyouthankyouthankyou – e-hugs –


	23. XXII : Alright

**XXII ; Alright**

"Ah, children. There you are. Right in time for dinner," Molly beamed, and they sat down right across from Harry.

"Wouldn't miss your dinner." Draco smiled, and she gave him a dismissive wave of her hand, but smiled nonetheless.

"Everything okay?" Harry asked carefully.

"Everything's fine," she assured him. "How did it go with the schedules?"

"Draco's definitely not living there," Harry replied firmly, putting that matter to rest. "But we'll all takes turn patrolling it, three in a group."

"When's my first one?" Draco asked, just as the food came walking to the table by itself, Molly keeping a watchful eye on some of the more rebellious plates.

"You, me and Charlie have one tonight," Harry replied, piling his plate with food.

Draco and Harry preceded to discuss their strategies for patrolling, and Hermione grew more and more weary. The whole thing was turning all too real. She didn't want her friends and family to get hurt or killed to keep her safe. Maybe it was just easier to give herself over to Lucius before he got someone else instead. She looked around at all of them, having their dinner as if the time they faced was nothing to worry about. Sighing, she couldn't help but venture into the possibility of losing yet another one of them.

She rested her gaze on Harry, who was talking with food in his mouth at that point, and pulled a sad grimace at how quickly all life could disappear from someone, even someone as lively as Harry Potter. It was a miracle that he had survived so much, and she did not want to be the one at fault for his death. That would probably be one of the most ironic things the wizarding world had heard in a while. He survived the Dark Lord, but then got killed because his supposed best friend slept with his arch enemy. She could picture herself sitting curled up in a corner without both Harry and Ron in her life, portrayed as a slut in every book about wizarding history.

Hermione slowly realised she had been eating so slowly her food had gone cold, and she put the fork and knife back onto the table with a slight grimace. She suspected no one really knew how hard it was for her to be this kind of burden. Of course she understood that to the others, this was a matter of keeping her or losing her, but to her it was a matter of trading her life for someone else's. And how on earth could that ever be fair?

Dinner was cleared of the table, and Fred and George hauled Draco over to look at some of their new products. Draco had admitted that the Weasley Wizarding Wheezes were one of his favourite shops, and the twins had taken the news with great enthusiasm. Draco could barely walk into a room anymore without being filled in on the newest business plan.

Ginny, on the other hand, had promised to help Tonks picking out wallpaper from a large catalogue, and the two girls went to work with enthusiasm. Hermione knew very well why she hadn't been asked to help. She had no style what so ever.

So that left Harry and her sitting by their end of the table quite alone, and Hermione focused her eyes on the burning candle standing on the table between them.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked again, Accioing two mugs of coffee.

"Everything is fine," she said with a pale smile, meeting his eyes for just a second.

"I don't mean with Draco."

"Oh."

"Hermione..."

"I'm just worried, that's all," she said frustratingly, throwing her hands out.

"You don't need to be."

"But I do. Everyone are risking their lives for me. I don't want to exchange my life for someone else's, Harry. What's the point in saving me if other people will die in the process?"

"No one is going to die," he said intensely, giving her a stern glance from behind his round glasses.

"How do you know?"

"I don't," he said truthfully. "But this is nothing like the final battle. This isn't Voldemort and a horde of Death Eaters."

"No, this is Lucius Malfoy and a horde of previous Death Eaters."

"We're doing this as carefully as we can, as planned as we can. We have the upper hand, which we never did with Voldemort. Hermione, please just believe in me... in the Order," Harry begged.

She looked at him with a pained expression, and pulled her hand through her hair. 

"I just miss him so much," she whispered, resting her forehead on her palm. She stared at the patterns on the table, and fought the lump in her throat furiously. "I miss him so much... sometimes I don't even know how it's possible to miss someone that much."

Harry jumped up from the table, and came around to her end. He wrapped his arm around her, and let her head rest on his shoulder. She felt comforted by his presence. Her best friend. The one who survived. The thought of going through the same again almost made her retch.

"I don't want to be responsible for another death of a loved one," she sniffed against his shoulder, and she faintly noticed that Harry nodded towards the others.

"Hermione, you weren't responsible for his death. He was killed by a Death Eater," Harry said fiercely. "I can't let you walk around thinking it's because of you."

"I don't think anyone can change how I feel about that," she said gloomily.

"You will never be responsible for Ron's death. Do you know what he'd say if he knew you were doing this to yourself?"

She gave a sad smile at that.

"He'd yell at me," she said with a small chuckle, drying her eyes carefully.

"He would," Harry confirmed. "Listen... I miss him too. He was my first friend, my best friend, and now he's gone."

"I wish I could go back in time," she hissed desperately, gritting her teeth.

"But you can't," Harry said against her hair. "But you're here now. And you can make sure I don't lose the other person who meant and still means everything to me."

She smiled at that, but couldn't quite get herself out of that immensely dark place. "You'll still have Ginny."

"Of course I'll still have Ginny, and God knows what I'd do if I lost her. But God, Hermione, I don't want to lose my other best friend. What would I do if I was the only one left?"

"Well, what would I do?" she asked desperately. 

"We're doing everything we can to keep you safe, but to keep ourselves safe in the process. There aren't any guarantees, but what is the other option?"

"I could just hand myself in. And he'd leave you all alone," she suggested quietly, and Harry pulled away at that, gripping her firmly over the shoulders and shook her quickly.

"That is out of the question. You're not pulling a stunt like that. And besides, he's aspiring to be the new Dark Lord from what we can gather. Do you really think he'll leave us alone?" Harry asked intensely.

"I suppose not," she replied, and relented. "I'll keep my faith in you and the Order. But if you die, I will be so angry with you that you'll turn around in your grave."

"I know what it feels like to lose people. I know it all too well. And I don't intend to lose anyone again. And I don't intend to have you lose anyone else," he said, and she knew he was making a promise he couldn't possibly keep, but it comforted her anyway.

"Thank you, Harry," she said genuinely, and pulled him into a hug. "I love you and I'm so glad you're here. I'm sorry if I've been... absent these past few years."

"I love you too," he whispered back. "And as long as you plan to stick around, it's alright."

"Well I don't really have many places to go," she laughed bitterly. "God, being coped up in this place really drives me crazy."

"I can only imagine."

"I have nothing to distract myself with. Everything ends up being magnified times a hundred. I go from angry and depressed to ecstatic and back to depressed again in a matter of minutes." She sighed, silently wondering if she was going insane.

"Anyone would react to this situation. You've got a lot of things going on at once," he soothed.

"I can't wait to get back to the apartment."

"Are you sure you can go back? Even if we get Malfoy, there still might be people who want you... erm… gone."

"I hadn't even thought about that." She sighed. "I guess I might have to look around for a new place."

"Let's worry about that when we get there" Harry smiled, and looked down at her now cold coffee. He took out his wand and lead it carefully over the mug, and steam emitted from the top within seconds.

"Thanks." She smiled.

"Let's play wizarding chess," he suggested and clapped his hands together. 

She nodded at that, quite happy to get her mind of the things she would rather not think too heavily about. She watched him dart up, and get the game out of a cabinet, before returning to the table again. The pieces assembled themselves on the board, and Hermione looked up at him with a crooked smile.

"I suck at this," she admitted, and he chuckled.

"Maybe I'll finally win for once, then. That would definitely be a new experience."

"You don't beat Ginny either?"

"Are you joking?" he exclaimed. "She beats the crap out of me every time."

Hermione laughed, at shot a quick look at the Weasley girl, pointing enthusiastically at the catalogue while gesturing at the wall. 

Harry made his move, and Hermione followed, both of them concentrating on the game, until they heard loud discussion from the other end of the table. Both of them looked up in confusion, and found Draco too standing hunched over the catalogue.

"I'm telling you... it'll look good," he said, gesturing against the wall.

"It looks nice in this little sample, but an entire wall in yellow with green patterns?" Tonks argued. "I don't even want to imagine it."

"This kitchen is relatively small, and the other wall is almost entirely covered by cupboards. It can definitely pull it off."

"I think you're blind," Tonks said in disbelief, throwing her arms out.

"I wouldn't write him off completely," Ginny shot in. "He decorated the Great Hall for our Yule Ball, and it looked fantastic."

"Look, let me show you," Draco said, and took the sample out of the catalogue. He held the little piece of wallpaper up before him, before putting it against the wall.

"That doesn't help, you know," Tonk stated dryly. "It's still as badly representative for the entire wall as it was just a moment ago."

Draco didn't answer. Instead, he placed his wand against the little square piece, and it started growing slowly, and suddenly it covered the entire wall as if he had just redecorated the room.

"It'll fade in five minutes," he said quickly, when he saw the stunned expressions.

"'Dora, I don't mean to question your judgement, but that actually looks really good," Remus said carefully, but Tonks just stared at the wall. 

"It looks... amazing," she stuttered, looking baffled. She quickly shook it off and beamed, being her regular self. "Wow, thank you Draco."

"No problem. I wish people would start trusting my incredible sense of style," he said dryly, making the others chuckle.

"Well, to my defence, I couldn't know you were the style guru," Tonks replied with a raised eyebrow.

"I've always had exquisite taste." He grinned. "My choice of girl should be proof enough."

"That is true." Ginny nodded. "Couldn't have chosen better there."

"I feel ashamed for overlooking that fact. She is actually quite a proof of exquisite taste." Tonks smiled.

"I think you guys need to stop. I can see her blushing from all the way over here," Remus commented, sounding amused and Hermione pulled a grimace at him. He pulled one right back and she laughed heartily.

"Well, no matter how much you guys seem to worship me, I'm definitely losing this damn game," she huffed, giving Harry a vile stare and he beamed back at her.

"Not if I can help it," Draco said firmly, and came down to their end. He sat down next to her and leaned in, resting his arm on the back of her chair. "Ouch, painted yourself in a corner, I see."

She gave him a resentful look, but he just smiled back.

"Oh, I'm so winning for once," Harry beamed, making his next move.

Hermione watched Draco scratch his chin thoughtfully, and his eyes darted across the board. He leaned in and whispered the move into her ear, and she smiled before saying the move out loud, watching the piece do her bidding.

"This is cheating," Harry huffed indignantly.

"You're winning. You have no reason to complain." Hermione laughed, just as Draco leaned in to whisper into her ear again.

Draco fought bravely to correct her bad play, but Harry won nonetheless. He shrieked in triumph as her king broke into a thousand pieces, and she groaned, and fell back into the chair.

"Oh my God, I finally won a game," he said in disbelief.

"Congratulations." Hermione chuckled.

"I don't like losing," Draco proclaimed, and she continued to chuckle as she patted his arm soothingly.

"Technically, I was the one who lost, so your good name is still intact," she commented.

"Ah yes, the shame is all on you," he said and winked at her, just as Ginny hovered over them.

"I want a game that can actually challenge me," she announced, ruffling Harry's hair as he grimaced. "Come on, Draco."

"With pleasure." He grinned, and the two of them switched places with Harry and Hermione, giving each other competitive stares.

Hermione leaned in and began whispering instructions into his ear, and he laughed mercilessly before doing the exact opposite of what she said. Nevertheless, she whispered her suggestions into his ear as he scrunched up his face in concentration. He made his moves regardless of her silly suggestions, and soon raised his hand over his head in a cry of victory. Ginny huffed angrily, and fell back in her chair, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Ah well." She sighed. 

"Thanks for helping, darling," he said sweetly, and kissed the tip of her nose softly.

"You didn't follow any of my suggestions." She laughed, leaning back into her chair. 

"You were the muse of my inspiration," he replied, adapting a pompous tone of voice, and she cried with laughter, hitting him across the arm.

"Sorry, but what on earth are you trying to be? A sixteenth century poet?" she teased.

"What makes you think that? Thou hath no proof, I say. No proof."

Harry and Ginny broke into a fit of laughter from across the table, and Hermione swung her hand over his neck, pulling him down and started ruffling his hair violently.

"Hey," he cried desperately, fighting to get his head out of her firm grip. She laughed menacingly, and kept rubbing her hand against his head. "My hair!"

"Oh no, his precious hair," Ginny bellowed, before clutching her hands over her stomach as she shook with laughter.

"I'm sorry," Hermione said sweetly as she let him go, and stroked his hair back into more acceptable positions.

"It's my hair. You're not getting off that easily," he replied, flattening it desperately.

"Too bad for you." She shrugged, and gave him a challenging look. Raising her eyebrow slightly, she let the tip of her tongue run over her bottom lip before biting it carefully. 

He swallowed heavily at that, and fell back into his chair. Sighing heavily, he turned to Harry and they shared an exasperated roll of their eyes while Ginny chuckled mercilessly.

"Damn you women and your tactics," Draco muttered grudgingly. 

"Yes, we are pretty evil." Ginny nodded.

"But lovely nonetheless." Harry smiled, and she gave him a sweet smile. 

"Trying to score some points?" she asked. 

"Always."

Ginny crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head. "Good try."

"I'm sorry to break up the party, but we need to get going," Charlie stated from the doorway, where he pulled his cloak carefully over his shoulders. 

"Oh right. I'll be there to replace you in the morning," Ginny assured them, before giving Harry a quick kiss on the cheek. 

"I won't," Hermione said gloomily, and Draco gave her a gentle stroke over her hair as he got up.

"And thank Merlin for that," he commented quickly.

"I feel so useless, though," she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, feeling incredibly childish for sulking so badly about the fact that she was of no real use to the Order.

"You're more useful alive than dead," he said, and she leaned her head back to look up into his face.

He smiled affectionately, and placed a hand gently against her cheek. She returned the smile, as she saw his face upside down above her. He bent down and closed his lips over hers for a brief second, but when he pulled away she reached her hand around his neck and pulled him down again. He answered her kiss for a moment, before pulling back.

"See you soon," he said quietly, and turned around to find his cloak.

"Be careful, you guys," she ordered, and they all promised they would be before they departed 

They all watched the three guys leave the kitchen, and Hermione sighed heavily and fell even further down into her chair. 

"I don't like this," she muttered bitterly.

"None of us do," her friend said calmly. "It's not a situation we strive to be in."

"Come on girls, let's not sit around and worry," Tonks said, ushering them out of their chairs. "I think you should come with me and figure out which wallpapers to use in the other rooms."

Hermione followed the other two girls out of the kitchen, but stared at them a bit apprehensively as they begun discussing the style of the rooms.

"I don't think I'm the right person for this," she stated dryly, and looked over Tonk's shoulder.

"Oh don't be daft, Hermione."

"I have no style," she explained quickly.

"I don't believe that," Tonks dismissed. "Tell me which wallpaper you think would fit well."

Hermione flipped past a few of them and pointed at a nice, purple one that really caught her eye, and laughed as she saw Tonk's grimace.

"Ah," the pink haired woman said. "Yeah, your other half definitely has better skills."

Hermione stuck her tongue out at that, and left the decoration plans to the other two girls.

"You better let him decorate your house." Ginny chuckled, as she flipped through the large catalogue.

"Yeah, if he doesn't run off first," Hermione stated bitterly, trying to suppress the thoughts swirling in the back of her mind. They had been happy for a total of a few hours now. She didn't need more doubts and arguments and frustration at that moment.

"Run off? Are you mental?" Tonks asked in disbelief. "He's practically throwing himself on the ground to keep you from soiling the soles of your feet."

"It's not that he doesn't care." She sighed, plunging down on the armrest of one of the chairs. "He does, very much. But it's a lot more complicated than it seems from afar. Even if we love each other now, it doesn't erase the eighteen years before that, the upbringing he had, the guilt he feels for betraying his family. It troubles him, and he's used to dealing with things on his own."

"Are you saying he'll leave you again?" Ginny asked, her voice sounding harsh.

Hermione gave her a pained look, and grimaced.

"I can't guarantee that he won't."

"And what will happen to you if he does?" her friend inquired, crossing her arms over her chest. 

"I'll... fall apart," Hermione admitted, and threw her head backwards in frustration. "God, it's such a mess."

"I can't believe he can be that selfish, after all he's going through to keep you safe. I don't get him!"

"There comes a point where I don't either," Hermione said. "But we've never been in his place. I've never had to turn my back on my family, you guys, for someone else."

"I don't think any of us could picture that," Tonk replied at that, closing the catalogue with a thud. "Maybe just give him some time."

"She already gave him three years," Ginny hissed, looking severely indignant on her behalf.

"Ginny, it's alright."

"No, it's not."

"Let's not worry about something that hasn't even happened yet," Hermione urged, and got up from her seat on the armchair.

"You're right. Sorry."

They left the topic behind in the living room as they filed up the stairs to look closer at other rooms.

**A/N:** Ah, tension release. Fun. :P

Sorry for the unnamed shoutout dynonugget, but now it's no longer unnamed:O

:P

I love how worried you all are about someone dying. I'm not spilling my guts, though, so you'll just have to wait to find out. Teehee.

And yes, this fic is pre-written. It was finished in April 07, actually, and is posted on a HP forum, no archives until now :)


	24. XXIII : All There Was to Lose

**XXIII ; All There Was to Lose**

The three males paced the hallways of the abandoned house, glancing cautiously around each corner, even if they knew it was more than likely too soon for Lucius Malfoy to strike. Draco knew his plans were not yet perfected, even if he wasn't let in on the details of it. For 'security measures' as his father so pleasantly called it. Not that he could blame him. He was in fact working for the other side, even if his father didn't know that.

The other two were indulged in a hushed conversation as Draco walked, wrapped in his own thoughts about betrayal and sacrifice. He pictures his father, the one he had been loyal to for so many years, but who had never really treated him all that well to be honest. He pictured Hermione and how she felt in his arms, how she looked at him with concern and care, how he felt when she smiled and laughed. It was so unfair that it had to be this complicated.

"Hey, Draco," Harry said in a hushed voice. "A little bit more alertness would be appreciated."

"I'm sorry, mate." He sighed, shaking his head to get the thoughts out. "Just a bit preoccupied with everything."

"Hermione?" Charlie asked quickly.

"Among other things."

"Everything seemed fine between you before we left," Harry commented.

"Yeah. And when things are fine, they're absolutely amazing," he replied. "But when it's not fine... it's dreadful."

"That bad?" Harry answered with a grimace.

"It's all such a mess. I can't help but think if things are supposed to be this complicated."

"Well, when your father wants her dead, it's bound to be a bit messy," Charlie commented, as they turned another corner and headed down yet another abandoned hallway.

"It's such a rollercoaster ride. Things are complicated."

"Because of your father?"

"Not really. That's him, not me. No... I guess the worst is those three years," he sighed. "She still resents me for leaving her in that apartment. Hell, I even resent myself for leaving."

"You had to leave," Harry replied at that, looking a bit concerned.

"I did. But it's made her wonder how much I really care. She's questioned all this time if I even want her, which hits me hard. Though I understand it. It didn't really help that I admitted to seeing other girls over that time…"

"Damn," the two others replied in unison, shaking their heads.

"The fucked up part is that they never meant anything. It was my way of pushing everything away, but to her seeing other people meant moving on," he explained. "And to me it was just… nothing. And now those nothings are costing me a hell of a lot more than I thought they would."

"She didn't seem too worried about it just now," Charlie commented.

"I know, but it's still nagging her. I know it is," he said in frustration. "And there are just so many conflicting emotions involved. One minute we're arguing and blaming each other for things out of our control, the next minute I offend her and she cries because of me and what I said, and the last thing I want is to be the one to cause her pain. And then suddenly everything's fine again, and all I can think about is how much I adore her. "

They walked in silence for a while, turning more corners, entering more rooms, looking carefully over their shoulders. Draco was perhaps more jumpy than any of them, dreading the face he would eventually meet at some point, but not as an ally this time.

"You know, you should just give it some time," Harry said suddenly. "You spent three years apart, and only a bit over a month together since that. And it's hardly a normal situation. Things'll get better."

"You think so?"

"I do."

----

Hermione sighed and turned over in her bed, just as she felt the covers rise and a pair of strong hands wrap around her from behind. She smiled and rested her head against his shoulder, relief spreading throughout her body at the proof that he had returned safely. His lips graced her cheek, and her hands rested gently over his on her stomach. Everything felt so right.

----

Over the next few weeks, Order members came and went as they exchanged shifts over at the abandoned Mansion. Hermione saw a lot of people for longer than she had before, many staying behind a bit after their shifts to calm down. McGonagall was sitting right across from her now, with a mug of coffee resting between her hands. Hermione felt oddly comforted by her presence, reminded of simpler times… well… simpler was probably a bit of an overstatement, considering the things they had gotten into at Hogwarts.

"Everything seems normal at the Manor so far," McGonagall commented slowly.

"Oh, that's good. I hope it stays that way for a while," she replied with a grim smile.

"It's a sad situation to see you in, Hermione. You don't deserve it."

"Most people never do," Hermione replied earnestly.

"I must say it was a bit of a shock."

She chuckled at that, knowing exactly what her old Professor referred to.

"I have yet to meet anyone who isn't shocked. We were pretty shocked ourselves for a while."

"But there were hints; I guess we all just chose to not see them. I still remember that morning in the Great Hall. It sent quite the ripples through the staff."

"Ah yes, we had quite a bit of fun on your expense." Hermione grinned.

"But no matter how unconventional a choice, no one deserves to lose their lives over it," McGonagall stated, sitting as rigidly in her chair as she always had before.

"I wish Lucius Malfoy could see it that way."

"Well, that's hardly expectable, I presume. A man so consumed with status and blood, setting it above the individuals in his family... his values aren't the same as ours."

"I still can't wrap my head around how he can care more about blood than the happiness of his own son."

"Unfortunately, my dear, that is the world we live in," McGonagall said in a defeated voice. "No matter how much great men like Albus and Harry try to change it."

"As long as I can get out of this place soon, I'll be fine with the world we live in," she whined, loathing the sight of the kitchen by now.

"It'll be over soon," McGonagall promised. "But I must be going, my dear. It was nice to catch up with you."

McGonagall had exchanged shifts with Draco, Ginny and Fred, who were now trailing the Mansion until ten PM that evening. She found herself alone in the large house, with Remus and Tonks having left for Diagon Alley just an hour before. Walking restlessly around the large house, she decided to get out some water and a mop and started cleaning the rooms upstairs. They weren't used much, and were lower on the priority list when it came to making them liveable.

After a long while she heard voices downstairs, and knew Remus and Tonks had come back, and judging from the buzzing, more people had joined them. She decided to stay with her task, though, and kept scrubbing about the bedrooms and the somewhat odder rooms that she didn't really remember the original use of.

She suddenly straightened up at the sound of a loud crash from downstairs, and heard voices from the living room as clear as day. When Draco's yells reached her ears, she frowned, and recognised the calls of her own name. She let go of the bucket of water, threw her rubber gloves off and ran out into the hallway. He was in the kitchen now, but he could still hear him clearly.

"Hermione!" he shouted, sounding more desperate than she had ever heard before.  
"Hermione! Where is she? _Where is she?_"

She ran down the stairs just as she heard his heartbreaking cry of "No!" and came to a halt in the doorway where he was standing with his back to her, shaking violently.

"Draco," she called intensely. "I'm here, Draco."

He wheeled around with a wild look in his steel grey eyes, and within seconds he had flung himself at her, nearly sending her to the floor by the force of him, and she had to step back several steps as he clung to her, holding her so tightly she could hardly breathe.

She didn't know what the problem was, but she wrapped her hands around him, running her hands soothingly up and down his back. When she heard him sob, her heart broke, and she put a hand comfortingly against the back of his head, running it calmly through his hair. She could feel the shoulder of her shirt getting soaked, but she didn't speak or comment on it, she just held him close and let him cry. When he didn't show any signs of calming down at all, she started whispering into his ear, letting her lips press against several spots around it.

"God, what's happened?" Harry asked in awe from his seat by the kitchen table, surrounded by several Weasleys. A pale looking Fred, accompanied by an even paler looking Ginny, was standing by the entrance to the kitchen.

"Lucius Malfoy happened," Fred said gloomily, and everyone looked horrified at that.

"He lured us out of the Mansion, though Draco kept hidden, for the purpose of the element of surprise," Ginny exclaimed in a hollow voice. "He... he said that he had lead us there to get to Hermione. He probably meant that he had lead us outside the Manor, I suppose, but we couldn't be sure that he didn't know of her real location. And then he continued to say that he'd gotten Hermione, and that she was already dead."

"What would he gain from pretending she was dead?" Tonks asked in confusion.

"I don't know," Ginny admitted quietly.

Hermione had been listening to the explanation, and tightened her hold around him, touched and a bit frightened that the prospect of her death was what had upset him so badly. She forced him to look up from her shoulder, and held his face cupped in her small hands. When she met the pained eyes her heart broke for him, and she watched his tearstained face with immense concern. Her thumbs ran over his wet cheeks, but his tears just kept flowing, and Hermione could no longer hold her own back. They ran down her cheeks, leaving small trails across her face. Without a word she pressed her lips fiercely against his, and he answered her kiss so desperately that she nearly lost her breath. She could feel the desperation and relief pulsate through him as he tasted her, felt her and held her close. His tongue ran over her lower lip, and she invited it in, not caring about the others in the room. All she knew was that he needed to know she was really there, that he still had her. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, and he placed his hands on either side of her face, not letting her escape him even if she wanted to.

He eventually pulled away, but held her face cupped in his hands still, looking intensely at her as if to memorize every feature in her face.

"It's okay, sweetie," she whispered.

He hugged her before letting her go and turned around to leave the room.

"Draco, don't go," she begged as he turned to leave, but he went into the living room, leaving her standing limply in the middle of the floor.

The reaction came just then, and she began shaking uncontrollably grabbing for something to hold on to. Fred and Ginny was by her side immediately, and held their arms around her as they led her towards a chair by the table. She sank onto it, and hid her face in her hands as she rested her elbows on the table. Drawing a rattling breath, she fought to keep the tears back.

"Oh my God," she breathed, trying to calm herself down. "He thought I was dead."

"But you're not," Ginny soothed, rubbing her back comfortingly. "Thank Merlin."

"I know. But now that I've seen his reaction, I'm a lot more scared of the outcome of this than I was before," she admitted.

"How?" her friend asked quietly.

"Well, if I die, I'll be dead. It won't make any difference to me, cause I'm… dead. But God knows what he'll do," she said with a vague gesture against the door.

"Well then... there's only one thing to do," Fred announced, and Hermione looked up with a pained expression on her face. "Don't die."

She chuckled sadly, and nodded.

"Right. Don't die." She nodded. "Good plan."

Hermione began breathing calmer, and found herself emerging from the odd haze she had been engulfed in. She dried her cheeks, and took deep breaths as the others talked calmly amongst themselves.

"I've got to go see how he's doing," she informed, and the others nodded. Ginny put a hand on her shoulder for a brief second, and Hermione smiled at her before rising from the chair and leaving the kitchen behind.

She found him sitting in the dark of the living room, perched up on the couch. Walking slowly up to him, she greeted him quietly. He didn't look up, but she sat down next to him on the couch, curling up against his chest. His arm reached around her shoulders, and he pulled her closer.

"Are you alright?" she asked quietly against his chest.

"I'm not sure."

"I'm here," she reassured him, and he gave a pale smile at that.

"I know. And I don't think you know how happy that makes me," he explained. "But this reminded me of how much I have to lose now."

"That doesn't have to be a bad thing," she replied at that. "Having something to lose can make you appreciate things more, not take it all for granted. Live life while it's still there."

He nodded silently at that, and she felt his chest rise and fall under her cheek.

"What I don't understand is how you can be so scared of me dying, but yet so unaffected about leaving," she told him.

"It's hard to explain. When you're alive, I know you're out there somewhere, living the life you deserve. And I just happen to think I can't give you that life."

"Why do you get to decide what kind of life I want?" she asked harshly. "I want to be with you, and my family. Nothing else matters to me."

"Even if we'll get judged by anyone and everyone?"

"Even if. Someone wise told me once that how others perceive you doesn't matter as much as how you see yourself. Others don't understand, and it's not their business."

"I don't think you understand how our lives would be," he said gloomily.

"How bad can it be if it's you and me together? The last three years haven't actually been a walk in the park."

"No, it's been pretty bad," he admitted quietly.

"Why do you keep fighting this so badly, Draco?" she asked fiercely, still keeping her head on his chest, happy not have to look at his face.

"I think you deserve better."

"Stop saying that," she hissed, and ran her hand quickly under her eye. "I don't want to hear it."

He watched her quizzically, and she wrapped her hands tighter around his waist.

"I love you so much," she muttered, the sound muffled against his shirt.

"I don't deserve you."

"I don't bloody give a damn."

----

Ginny nudged Harry from her seat beside him, and he turned to look at her quizzically. She inclined her head to hint for him to follow, and she got up in the middle of the plain conversation around the table, none of them really taking notice of them leaving.

"What's up?" Harry whispered as they closed the kitchen door.

"I thought we'd check that Hermione and Draco haven't killed each other yet," she replied dryly, and coiled her arm around his waist as she dragged him along into the living room.

They searched the dark, closed up room and finally saw a tint of blond hair sticking up from behind the couch. Ginny pulled him along, and they stopped right above the couch, looking down on the couple sitting there. They were fast asleep, Hermione snuggled up in the nook of his arm, resting her head on his chest, and his head rested on top of hers. Both of them were breathing heavily, and looked far less troubled than the reality was.

"They're so cute," Ginny whispered. "If you disregard all the fights..."

"… and his longing to run."

"… and her insecurities about his feelings."

"... and his insecurities about himself."

"... and his damn father."

Ginny wrapped herself closer to Harry.

"I'm so glad we don't have to deal with all that," she muttered, and swung her head back to meet his lips.

"But I feel bad for Hermione who has to," he said as they broke free.

"Let's just leave them here. I don't want to wake them."

"We should head home anyway." He smiled, and they went into the hallway after saying goodbye to the people still left in the kitchen. He held his arms around her as they Disapparated back to his flat.

----

"Do you think he'll return to the abandoned Manor now that he's already shown himself there once?" George asked doubtfully, as they were all seated by the kitchen table yet again.

"If he thinks Hermione's still there, he's sure to come back," McGonagall argued.

"But does he think that anymore?" Hermione herself said, throwing her arms out. "He told Ginny and Fred that he'd found and killed me, even when he hadn't. He must've been up to something."

"Yeah, it's not just a stunt you pull out of the blue"

"As long as Hermione stays here, he can't reach her," Mr. Weasley reminded them all. "The blessing of the Fidelus."

"So Hermione stays here, and we keep patrolling the Manor?" Harry suggested.

"At least until we hear anything about other plans," Tonks shot in, her hand wrapped nicely into Remus's. She gave Draco a questioning look, and he shook his head thoughtfully.

"I haven't heard anything, but to be honest I don't think he trusts me entirely with this matter. He gives me enough information to keep me in on the most basic, but he never tells me the bigger details or the top secret information," he admitted. "It unnerves me a bit, because like Hermione said, he's obviously up to something since he pulled that stunt."

"We just have to be careful and alert, ready for any twists that may appear," Harry concluded.

"Especially since Lucius Malfoy senses life forces."

"He does... huh?" Charlie exclaimed.

"Senses life forces," Draco repeated. "Only in a pretty restricted area, but he can sense the life forces of the people in at least some feet in radius around him. So he will know how many we are if everyone moves in too close at once."

"Why haven't you told us this before?" Fred asked accusingly, but Draco just shrugged.

"It's not that important a skill, to be honest. There's not much of an advantage he can get in this situation. It won't really help him much to know how many we are, except that famous element of surprise."

"Well, still good to know, I suppose," Tonks nodded.

"We've got the first shift after the previous attack in two hours," Charlie said. "Me, Fred and Ginny, I think."

The two others nodded in confirmation at that, and Hermione squirmed yet again at the thought of being so useless.

"Anything I can do?" she nearly begged, but everyone just shot her stern glances.

"You can make sure you don't leave this place under any circumstances," Remus replied. "No exceptions."

Hermione rolled her eyes, and fell further down into her chair.

"If I had known this some years ago I would have been a lot more compassionate with Sirius," she said sourly. "I wish he was here. He's the only one who'd understand."

"Don't we all," Harry said bitterly, and she immediately regretted her statement.

"God, I'm sorry, Harry," she apologised, her expression softening.

"Don't be," he replied softly. "It's been ages, I shouldn't be so sensitive about it."

"The feeling of loss doesn't go away even if it's been a long time," Remus replied quietly to that, and the pain in his eyes wasn't lost on neither Hermione nor Harry. They shared a pained expression, knowing that even if they had lost their best friend, Remus had lost all three of his.

"But nevertheless, he should be remembered with respect and joy over his life," Mr. Weasley commented then. "You both know Sirius would never want you to only remember him for his death. He was so much more."

Harry and Remus almost looked ashamed at that and nodded quickly, knowing how true the statement was.

"Hermione, just don't fall in the same trap he did," Harry begged then. "Don't let yourself fall for the urge to do something. Stay here."

She nodded quietly at that, biting her lip anxiously. How on earth could she just sit back here and do nothing? It would eat her alive.

The days came and went, and Hermione grew more and more weary at the situation. She knew something would transpire soon, and it made her crazy. Paranoia nearly ate her alive from the inside out, and she found herself yelling at one point and crying at another, Ginny soothing her as best she could at all times. Draco tried his best as well, but their relationship contained the usual arguments and then making up again, usually through rather steamy make-up sex.

Hermione made dinner yet another evening for only herself, Remus and Tonks, and she wasn't even that hungry, but it kept her busy at least. She got the steak out of the oven, and set the table the Muggle way before cutting it up and put it on a plate. She used magic to send the food to the table, and sat down in front of her two housemates, eyeing her own food with a grimace.

"This is delicious, Hermione," Tonks smiled. "Aren't you hungry?"

"Not really." She sighed, letting the fork cut a potato mercilessly in half.

"Don't let all this get to you," the older girl said sympathetically. "I know it's hard, but all we can do is wait."

"I don't know whether or not to be glad it's not happening yet or go crazy because of the wait."

"Things will be fine," Remus promised in a reassuring voice, and they continued to eat in silence.

Hermione pressed down a few more pieces, before she pushed the plate away with a sour grimace on her face. It wasn't that it wasn't good. She just didn't want it. A sudden sound flung her out of her whiny train of thoughts, and her heart leapt up into her throat.

"Shit," she cried.

"Hermione, calm down," Tonks said as she darted up from her chair. "Everything will be fine. We'll deal with this."

The Order alarm cried through the house again, and Tonks and Remus grabbed their cloaks and wands, leaving Hermione standing helplessly on the kitchen floor.

"Can we leave her alone?" Tonks asked in a concerned voice, just loud enough for Hermione to hear, but she was too flustered to care particularly.

"We don't have a choice," Remus whispered back. "Let's just hope Molly gets here soon. I don't trust her to sit tight."

"Hermione, stay here," Tonks demanded, and the two of them left her alone in the kitchen.

She began pacing the kitchen floor, just about ready to rip her hair out. This was it. Everyone was out fighting Lucius Malfoy, for her, and she was stuck here demanded to do nothing at all. She started clearing the table, feeling the lump in her chest grow bigger and bigger. Before she knew it, she was downright bawling over the dirty dishes.

"Hermione dear, are you alright?" Molly called, and came over to her in a hurry.

"No," she sobbed, letting go of the plate she was washing. "I feel so helpless and useless. I don't know how to sit here and do nothing."

"I'm here to keep you company, sweetheart. We'll get through this together."

Molly's comforting hands gripped her by the shoulders and seated her firmly by the kitchen table.

"Let the dishes rest," she demanded as she sat down across from her. "They don't need to be done now."

"But at least it's something to do," Hermione argued as she dried her eyes.

"Don't worry," Molly replied again, and bent down to fetch what she had brought. "We'll knit some elf hats."

Hermione laughed loudly, and gripped one of the sets Molly gave her, looking at them in awe.

"I haven't done this in so long," she smiled, feeling the familiar move in her fingers as she begun.

Soon enough, Hermione felt calmed by the knitting and the comfortable conversation with Molly. She blocked out everything anyone else was undoubtedly going through, and concentrated on each mask in the knitwear. And it worked, until the unmistakable sound of an Order message ran through the kitchen.

Hermione darted up, and ran for the living room fireplace. Molly followed right behind; looking flustered and watched as the young girl ripped the parchment up. Her eyes grew larger as they ran across the tiny parchment, and she began shaking silently. The entire body filled with dread as the words sunk in, and she dropped the parchment to the floor.

"Hermione, what's wrong?"

"It's Harry. He says Draco's in danger," she whispered.

"No, Hermione, that can't be," Molly said desperately, seeing Hermione's determination grow at that point. "Harry wouldn't do that. He knows it would tempt you to leave this house."

"I have to go, Molly. He's in danger because of me," she cried, pacing back and forth across the floor by the fireplace.

"It's a trap, dear," the older lady said intensely. "If you leave here, you'll be easy prey."

"It's not a trap. Harry said he was in danger."

"This isn't Harry, dear," Molly said forcefully. "Harry wouldn't tempt you like this."

But Hermione knew what she had to do. There was no question about it. No matter the outcome, she couldn't live with herself if she stayed here when Draco was in danger. Ignoring Molly's cry of desperation, she flung herself towards the fireplace and Flooed directly to the Manor.

----

**A/N:** I know, I know! I usually stay clear of cliffhangers, but sometimes I just can't help myself. And you may hate me if you wish.

I thought I'd answer some reviews this time around.

**SavageGardenFan:** Glad you like the story! And thanks for reminding me about the 'defense' part. We pretty much learn a mix between American and British English in school, so I slip up a lot. Oh, and Savage Garden is great.

**Confuzzled239:** SWEET. We can never have enough Dramione shippers:D Welcome to the dark side, we have the hottest couples. Rawr.

**Birdsong4**: Thank you! I haven't shared these experiences. Actually, I'm pretty inexperienced when it comes to love in general -.- . But I have a lot of other experiences in my life that has made me able to see things from different perspectives and see things from other's point of view, so I guess that helps me in writing sometimes. :)

**Pstibbons**: meh, I'm sorry if it feels a bit futile, but if it helps I really do appreciate all the reviews I get, and I love reading long ones and it inspires me in writing other things even if this one is finished. I usually have most of my stories mapped out in my head anyway, so I don't know if the reviews would have changed the plot anyway.

**Ankoku Dezaia**: heheh I've been that way about a few fics too, and I'm so happy I made someone else feel that way. :D

**Everyone else:** Thanks a million for reviewing and reading. It makes my day. :D


	25. XXIV : Fight For Me

**A/N:** OOOoOOo My first flame! Teehee. Well, "predicatble" or not, here's the next chapter:

----

**XXIV ; Fight For Me**

She coughed and dusted off her cloak as she tumbled out of the fireplace in a dark room. Dust lay everywhere, and the room was barely furnished. It was also abandoned, and Hermione could hear or see no signs of battle at all. She was sure this was where everyone was. This was where Lucius had found them, wasn't it?

As silently as she could, she moved towards the doorway, and snuck out, looking carefully over her shoulders to ensure she was alone. When she continued down the hallways and saw nothing but dust and abandoned rooms, a chilly sense of dread settled in the pit of her stomach. Something wasn't right. Everyone should have been there. She had to go back.

Hermione turned around to head back towards the room with the fireplace, when she suddenly heard a chilling laughter echo unpleasantly through the hallway.

"Oh, this was too easy," came a voice — it was calm, but there was an undertone of glee, and it sent shivers of dread through her.

She could have hit herself in exasperation. She had done exactly what everyone had warned her not to. Sirius was going to kill her again once they met in the afterlife. Talk about history repeating itself. On instinct she pulled her wand out, ready to strike. She swallowed, as she watched the tall, blond figure tower over her, and she whimpered unwillingly when he yanked her wand out of hand and pushed her into a nearby room she hadn't seen earlier before she even had the chance to utter a single word. She hadn't had time to cast any spells at him, and she cursed herself for her idiocy.

"Oh Merlin, no," a voice cried, and she turned to find Draco standing by the tiny window of the room. He looked crestfallen and ruffled from battle, and her eyes nearly welled with tears.

"Erm, Malfoy," she greeted in a stern voice, but Lucius just laughed again.

"Give it up, Mudblood," he said harshly. "I'm onto your whole charade."

"Charade…" she repeated dimly, trying to stall while not giving anything away.

"I know my son is a traitorous bastard, who has been ratting me out to your lousy gang of blood traitors," Lucius boomed, and she felt as if she shrunk under his presence.

"Fucking hell, Hermione, why didn't you stay where you were?" he cried desperately, throwing his arms out.

"Because, idiot son, she's just as stupidly courageous as you are," his father said coolly. "She's a Gryffindor, always known for their dim-witted bravery. When she got a message from her beloved Potter that you were in danger, she came running at once."

"I'm sorry," she cried in frustration. "I don't know what came over me."

"Isn't this a pleasant surprise," Lucius suddenly said, turning towards her.

"What... pleasant surprise?" she asked, swallowing heavily.

"Seems like we're visited by a third person," he grinned maliciously, and she remembered his life force skill. Confused, she turned around, looking for the other visitor.

"What are you on about, there's no one here," she said in confusion, and Draco seemed just as bewildered by the comment.

Lucius roared with laughter, and an unpleasant expression of menacing glee fell across his face.

"How can this get any better?" he asked in a cheerful voice. "She doesn't know yet. I get to bring the happy news."

"Will you stop talking in code?" she cried, her anger rising dangerously.

"Feisty," Lucius commented in amusement.

"Look, Father, these games you're playing are rather dull," Draco stated in a cold voice, and Hermione noticed that he was working on closing the distance between them.

"You're right. I should just bring the delightful news." He smirked. "You see... it seems I get to kill two people today. One grown one... and one whose life hasn't even begun yet."

Hermione felt herself freeze in dread. No. He was lying. There was no way. She would've known. She was a healer, there was no way she could've overlooked such a thing.

"You're lying," she said, but her voice sounded breathless and panicked.

"I'm afraid not my _dear_," he said in a condescending tone. "You're a Healer, check for yourself."

Her breath caught in her throat, and Draco was still looking at them in confusion, and she rolled her eyes in exasperation at his slowness.

"You disappoint me son," Lucius said. "Well, in addition to the traitorous behaviour, obviously."

"Really."

"Your Mudblood girlfriend has caught on long before you."

"Well, I'm sorry I'm not following your damn code language," Draco bellowed, and his father smirked evilly.

"She's carrying."

Draco's mouth snapped shut at that, and he wheeled around towards Hermione who looked more panicked than ever.

"I'm not pregnant," she said as defiantly as she could. First of all because she couldn't believe she actually was, but second of all... if she was, he had an ever bigger reason to kill her on the spot.

"I say it again," Lucius said coolly, and threw her wand back at her. "You're a Healer; Merlin knows how they even let you be that in the first place. You know what to do."

She swallowed, and debated whether or not she wanted to know. Her eyes met Draco's, who were eyeing her with a violent desperation at that point. As her emotions took over, she turned around with her back to the guys and pointed her wand against her stomach.

"Good girl." Lucius laughed, and she closed her eyes in pain, wondering why she had put herself in this situation.

Hermione mutter the spell as the tip of her wand rested against her stomach, and she knew the answer would be there when she opened her eyes. She braced herself, and opened them slowly, resting her glance on the tip of her wand. Her mouth grew instantly dry when she caught the sight of the faint, light red glow at the tip of her wand. She muttered the counter spell, stumbling a bit over the words, and took a deep breath before turning around again.

"Not pregnant," she announced as she turned around again, looking straight at Lucius with a defiant expression.

"Oh, my dear, stubborn Mudblood." He laughed. "You cannot lie to me."

She felt her palms begin to sweat, and her gaze wavered just the tiniest bit.

"I can feel the third life force. Clearly."

"It's probably just Harry spying in the hallway," she dismissed, waving her hand against the opening.

"Nice try," he commented. "Tell her, Draco."

She looked at him uncertainly, and he looked stricken with horror.

"The life force of a fully developed human being and a foetus is distinctively different," he muttered, giving her a penetrating glance.

Hermione swallowed heavily, and knew she was painted in a corner. She could see the smirk on Lucius's face grow wider, and she knew it was time for a different approach.

"Fine," she cried. "It turns out I'm pregnant. Happy now, _Lucius_?"

Draco closed his eyes at that, and she could see him breathing heavily even from several feet away.

"Very much so." He smirked. "You see, not only will I get to kill the Mudblood who befouled our great name, but also the dirty blooded consequence. It must be my lucky day."

"So you have no issue killing a Malfoy?" she asked harshly, gathering strength. "Because you know this baby is just as much his as it is mine."

"It's no longer a Malfoy when the blood is not pure."

"Too bad for you that genes don't work quite that way," she bit back. "It's part Draco and part me, no matter how much you try to justify your plans to kill your own granddaughter."

"It's a girl as well. Dirty blooded and the weaker sex. Aren't we_lucky_?"

Hermione felt her blood boil, and voices in her head yelled at her for having put her baby in danger, even if she hadn't known. If only she had stayed where she was supposed to stay.

"So you're going to kill your own flesh and blood?" she shrieked, feeling the desperation kick in when her strategy was far from working.

"Not only am I going to kill…" he smirked. "I'm going to kill it with pleasure."

"Father…" Draco said in a pained voice, standing with his arms limply at his side looking completely lost.

"What? You don't want it, do you? It's a creature more than anything," Lucius spat.

"Yes, I bloody well want it. It's my child!" Draco yelled, and his father seemed momentarily taken aback.

"All the more fun to make you watch," he said, taking a threatening step closer. "So, give each other a kiss goodbye."

Hermione raised her eyebrow at that, and crossed her arms over her chest, while Draco looked more bewildered than anything.

"Do it," Lucius said threateningly. "It's your last chance."

She felt her lips quiver at that, knowing that he was not going to let her go. He didn't care that she was carrying his granddaughter; to him the baby was nothing but the spawn of a Mudblood. She looked up to see Draco coming to a halt next to her, and they stood close enough to see the tears forming in each other's eyes. Her arms fell from her chest, hung limply by her side, and the feeling of defeat overwhelmed her. She closed her eyes when his hand came to rest on her cheek, and she leaned a bit against it, wondering how long it would be until next time. His lips closed over hers triggering so many conflicting emotions that they nearly knocked her over. She answered him almost desperately, knowing that this was torture. She knew why Lucius had done this. Kissing him when she knew it might be the last time was excruciating. She didn't want to let go, but she knew she had to at some point.

"Ah, that was sweet," Lucius said dryly. "It is, indeed, a pity that you're not a real witch."

She blocked him out, focusing every fibre of herself on their lips locked together, desperate to stay that way forever. Her cheeks were wet with tears now, but she didn't care. She felt numb.

"That's enough," he commanded.

Hermione felt panic rise in her chest as they slowly parted, and she looked up into Draco's face with so much frustration. She studied every inch of his features, hoping they would always be clear in her mind wherever it was she was going.

"Move away from her," Lucius' voice boomed.

"I can't," Draco cried back, as he gripped her desperately and held on so tight that it nearly hurt.

"Step away," his father bellowed, holding his wand out in front of him, pointing straight at her.

She stuck her chin out and looked at him defiantly. There was no way she was going just like that. She had a wand, she was an accomplished witch. No one should be expected to just stand here and take this. When she noticed that Lucius's attention fell towards his son, who clutched her tightly around the waist, she decided to take advantage in a matter of seconds, and raised her wand in front of her. Without delaying she shot a spell right in his chest, and he staggered backwards, hitting the wall in the process.

Hermione had hoped this would give them the upper hand, but Lucius was back on his feet in seconds. His face was now screwed up in a furious expression, and she knew he was not going to fool around much before trying to end her life. She turned to Draco, and pushed him resolutely away. He cried in indignation as he fell to the floor several feet from her.

"You're not going down with me," she hissed, and took a better hold of her wand again.

She noticed that Draco had never once gripped for his, and knew he must have lost it or had it taken away somehow. That made her even more determined to do this. As jets of light started flying from Lucius's wand, she dodged them as best she could, blocking the ones she knew how to block, and jumping away from the rest. She tried hitting him back, but he was always too fast. To her frustration, she just couldn't hit him.

Hermione knew Draco was just waiting for the right moment to sacrifice himself, and it worried her. She tried to keep away from him as much as possible, not giving him the chance to step between them. When she stepped to the left to get further away from Draco, she knew she had gone the wrong way. A searing, excruciating pain filled her entire body as the _Crucio_ hit, and the laughter that rang in her ears made no matters better. Finally, the horrible pain that shut everything else out ceased, and her cries came to a halt. She hadn't even realised she was yelling. But she knew she had to get up, or she would have it again. Gathering every bit of her strength, she stumbled up and flung herself out of the way just as the next _Crucio_ hit the exact spot she had been in.

But she wasn't out of danger. The _Crucio_ had left her weaker and it was harder to coordinate her feet. When his next spell came charging, she didn't know if she could get out of the way. She saw it approaching, a dark red jet of light, but she had no idea how to get away. Just as she prepared for whatever spell it was to hit her mercilessly, he had flung himself in front of her. Cold dread seared through her as she heard it hit him and he fell to the ground in front of her with a sickening thud. Her eyes widened as she watched him twitch on the ground, and she had no idea what spell had hit him.

"I was waiting for that," Lucius stated viciously. "Now it's a clear path."

She saw him raise his wand, and knew this was it. Thinking as quickly as she could, she threw her own wand up and cast the most powerful spell she knew. Her jet of black light emitted from her wand just at the same time as his green light came towards her. The two spells collided mid air, and both of them divided into several more beams, burning holes in either side of the room.

Hermione was breathing heavily, not knowing how many times she could manage to divert his _Avada Kedavras_. She needed something to finish him off, before he finished her off. Within milliseconds she had searched her brain, as she watched him laugh at her attempts to throw him off balance. It was at that moment she knew what to do. She mixed a tiny reflection spell into the spell she had cast at him previously, and begged to God that it would work as she thought. She had never been too talented at merging spells, but it had to work. There was no other option.

Lucius raised his wand again, but she threw her spell a bit before his this time. Her jet-black light had reached halfway across the room before his_Avada Kedavra_emitted from his wand. She watched in horror, not knowing what to do if this failed. The two spells collided again, but this time the beams did not go to either side as previously. Her reflection spell worked. The green light flung back the way it had come. She saw his face turn stunned and eventually horrified before it hit him straight in the chest. He fell backwards, his head crashing against the wall as he did so.

She knew he was dead. Relief ran through her at that moment, and she sank to the floor as she breathed heavily. She was alive. Yes, she had killed his father, but at least she was alive. After a few moments of getting her breath back, she remembered the man in front of her, and she moved him onto his back. Running her wand carefully over him, she noticed he was still breathing, but definitely not conscious. She made sure he wasn't bleeding, and checked for anything she could without any more equipment than her wand. It made it difficult that she didn't know the spell, but knew he would be fine once she got him back to the house.

Leaving him on the floor, she turned the wand to her stomach, checking if the little baby in there hadn't suffered from the _Crucio_. Everything seemed to be fine and she sighed in relief, not quite understanding just how lucky she had been. At that exact moment she looked up at the sound of footsteps, and it dawned on her that his followers could very well be around. But the ones who came running through the door were the entire Order, Harry being in the lead.

"Hermione. Thank God," he cried, looking completely horrified. "How could you just run off like that when we told you to stay where you were? Molly is beside herself with worry and guilt."

"I'm so sorry," she said remorsefully, pulling her hand through her hair. "The note..."

"Yeah, I've seen the note," Harry spat. "How could you even think I would send you such a note? That I would worry you so much that you'd feel compelled to come out of hiding?"

"I wasn't thinking straight," she cried back, and followed Ginny with her eyes as the Weasley walked up to Lucius Malfoy. "He's dead."

Everyone's heads snapped up at that, and they all turned to find Lucius Malfoy lying sprawled on the wooden floor, his head resting at an odd angle because of the meeting with the wall.

"He had to kill his father?" Tonks asked breathlessly.

"I killed him," Hermione said flatly, and wrapped her hand protectively around Draco's waist.

"You killed him?" Fred gaped, not able to look away from the body.

"I managed to merge a reflection spell with the Tamula. His _Avada Kedavra _got reflected right back into his chest," she explained emotionlessly and made a vague hand gesture towards the lifeless man.

The entire Order seemed to be entirely baffled by that, but Hermione was too overwhelmed to feel anything in particular.

"Sorry we didn't come sooner," Ginny said quietly. "He diverted us. We've been battling his followers miles away from here. Mum said the Floo to the Manor closed the moment you went through, so she couldn't follow you. And she had no way of getting to us until we all came back to the Headquarters."

"It's alright," Hermione assured her. "It worked out anyway."

"How is he?" Remus asked, apparently the first one to notice Draco's body on the floor under her grip. Everyone else's eyes fell to the floor, and their expressions grew horrified.

"He's unconscious, but he seems to be mostly unharmed. Lucius never wanted him dead."

"That makes sense, I guess. It is his son."

Hermione swallowed, not telling them how he had no troubles with ending the life of his unborn grandchild. Instead, she scrambled up from the floor, and levitated Draco's limp body carefully off the ground. Not meeting the eyes of the Order members, she went up to the lifeless body and searched his robes with trembling hands until she found Draco's wand. The knowledge that she had killed this man made her feel queasy.

"Do we have to Apparate?" she asked as she straightened up and ripped her eyes away from him.

"We can open the Floo from this side, since it was closed from this end," McGonagall told her, and everyone piled out of the room, leaving behind nothing but dust and a deceased Malfoy.

When she was the first one to step out of the fire in Grimmauld Place, she was run down by Molly who hugged her so fiercely she could swear one of her ribs broke.

"You insolent child," Molly cried. "Why couldn't you just stay behind?"

"I'm really sorry, Molly. I shouldn't have run off," Hermione replied genuinely.

"At least you're alright." The older lady sighed, and gave her a last big hug, before letting her go. Several others began piling out of the fireplace, but Molly's attention fell to the levitating Draco. She gave a horrified yelp, but Hermione patted her arm comfortingly.

"He's not badly hurt," she told the older lady now at the brink of tears.

"Are you sure?"

"As sure as I can be, but I'll take him upstairs and check thoroughly," she replied.

She brought the levitating Draco up to an abandoned bedroom where she was joined by Ginny, ready to help. They performed a number of checks, making sure he wasn't badly damaged.

"How did things go with the followers?" Hermione asked after having worked in silence for a long while.

"Surprisingly well. A few cuts and bruises on some of us, but none of us are badly hurt, and most of the enemies were captured or killed," Ginny told her. "Those who weren't captured or killed were never that into his new plan anyway. You could tell from the way they battled."

"I'm so relieved everyone has gotten out of this alright," Hermione breathed, almost too overwhelmed to get it into her head.

"I know. It's been tough."

"We can go home,. Hermione grinned, doing a little dance next to the bed, and Ginny laughed heartily.

"Oh man, we have so many things we need to do now," she exclaimed.

"Like going to the theatre..."

"Going shopping!"

"The Burrow family dinners."

"Well, I've been attending those for years."

"I haven't, but I definitely will now. I'm done hiding."

Ginny smiled at that, before straightening up. She looked down on the sleeping figure on the bed, looking a bit puzzled.

"He seems to be completely fine."

"Yeah. I think Lucius just wanted him out of the way for a while," Hermione pondered. "He'll probably wake up in a few hours."

----

**A/N:** UGH yeah, totally artistic freedom with the whole merging spells ordeal. I'm sorry, but at least no one died, right:P I'm trying to focus on the positive :P

**Birdsong4** Bah, I know. But the thing is Molly didn't think she would actually go, she was just trying to calm her down, I guess. But you are right; it would have been much more believable if she had stunned Molly. Unfortunately, my imagination limits me sometimes -.- or... all the time :P

I just decided to reply here since I can't send you a PM and all. Hehe.

Anyway, thanks for all reviews and reads, and we still have 4 chapters and an epilogue to go. Woo.


	26. XXV : Dirty Little Secret

**XXV ; Dirty Little Secret**

Hermione remained seated by the bed the entire afternoon, holding his clammy hand in hers. He had stirred several times, but had yet to wake up at all. She had eventually found out that the spell was nothing but a unconsciousness spell, and knew that Lucius had known Draco would take it for her. She watched his chest rise and fall, wondering if he could deal with everything that had happened. The baby. Her killing his father. It was a lot to process.

She sat wrapped in thoughts of what had been the hugest part of the whole deal for her. It should probably have been the fact that she had killed a man, but to her the most important part of the afternoon had been the revelation of the life growing inside her. She still didn't understand how she could have overlooked it. She had dismissed all the symptoms as the stress of being locked up, but then again she couldn't be too far along either, she realised. She hadn't had many symptoms at all.

Hermione suddenly felt him stir under her, and her eyes came into focus on his face. She wasn't too hopeful, but his eyes suddenly snapped open and she smiled widely. 

"Hermione," he whispered, and she grinned widely. "You're okay."

"We're all okay," she informed, and was almost overwhelmed by the fact that she could say those words. 

"Everyone?"

"Everyone," she confirmed. Well. Except his father.

He smiled at that and his hand closed tighter around hers. She looked over her shoulder, but no one was out in the hall and she swung herself onto the bed. He rested his arm around her shoulders before she lay down and snuggled close to his chest.

"Hey." She smiled, looking up into his face.

"Hey," he whispered with his lips against her forehead.

She ran her finger along his strong jaw line, enjoying the familiar flutter in her stomach. His eyes seemed to be locked on her as she finished the travel from one ear to the other. 

"You know... at first I couldn't understand why your father would want us to kiss," she said quietly, keeping her eyes locked on his lips. "It seemed strange that he would want us to do that in front of him. But then I understood. It wasn't a kind act; it was terror at its worst. Feeling you against me like that, knowing that once we parted it might never happen again."

She ran her tongue over her bottom lip without really noticing, and as the memory of the desperate moment hit her, she pressed her lips hungrily against his, catching him completely by surprise. She kissed him intensely, pressing his head back against the pillow, and he finally awoke from the shock and returned it as he entwined his fingers in her hair. Breathing heavily, she moaned against his lips, holding her hands over his cheeks. When she moaned again, he parted himself from her and she felt his chest vibrate as he chuckled.

"Unless you want to be mounted by your patient, I think this is a good place to stop."

"Well, could be nice to fulfil the doctor/patient fantasy," she purred, and he wrapped his arms around her with a slight smile.

"We'll try that later, I think." He smiled, watching her intently. 

"Look... Draco," she said, realising as she looked down into his face that he had to know the truth. "There's something I need to tell you."

"What, love?"

"I killed him," she said flatly, and she watched as his eyes grew bigger. 

"You… killed..."

"I reflected his _Avada Kedavra_," she admitted, suddenly feeling empty and lost at the mere thought. She avoided his eyes, and was caught by surprise when his hand cupped her chin affectionately.

"Your life or his. Not a difficult choice," he commented softly.

"Not just my life," she replied at that.

His steel grey eyes rested on her as the corner of her lips stretched into a trying smile. Eventually, he smiled back and rested his hand on her waist.

"No, not just your life."

"I swear I didn't know," she said, her face adapting a pained expression. "If I had, I would never have left this place."

"I know," he soothed. "Not a particularly nice way to find out."

"No, could have been a nicer moment," she replied dryly.

She turned over on her back again, resting against his arm, and began thinking of whatever she would tell the child if she ever asked how she found out. _Well, sweetie. Your grandfather told me before he started his task to kill us both._ Nice moment. She rested her head on his shoulder, letting weird thoughts swirl around in her head. Was she ready for this? Did she even have a choice? A part of her felt terrified, but a part of her felt ecstatic. She didn't turn to look at his face, but she knew what the expression looked like, and it horrified her. She knew he was happy, at least on some level, but somehow she knew he couldn't deal with this.

She awoke from her thoughts when she heard a knock from the doorway, and her head rose to find Harry standing in the open door.

"You guys okay?"

"We're fine," she confirmed, and pulled herself up on her elbows. 

"There's food and briefing downstairs if you're interested." He smiled. "But if you're busy..."

"Draco should rest anyway," she replied with a smile and the man beside her groaned in annoyance.

She chuckled, and gave him a quick peck before darting up to follow Harry downstairs. They walked slowly down the stairs side by side, and she coiled her hand around his waist.

"We're alive!" She grinned, and he laughed down at her.

"Will you look at that," he answered as they entered the crowded kitchen, and the room fell quiet when the two of them came in.

Several of the people erupted in cheers, and Hermione laughed at them, waving her hand dismissively.

"So the good news is... Lucius Malfoy is dead and gone," Harry announced, and more cheers erupted.

Hermione took a seat next to him, and grabbed one of the sandwiches laid out on large silver plates. She was so hungry she could eat a hippogriff.

"Other good news. We're all okay," Ginny piped in.

"And since every dangerous follower seems to be captured, I see no reason why Gin and Hermione can't return to their flat," Harry continued. 

Hermione reached her hands up in the air and whooped. The others laughed heartily at her obvious glee.

"When?" Hermione asked him, and he shrugged.

"As soon as tomorrow afternoon, I think."

"Yes!" she exclaimed, and raised her glass of water towards Ginny, and her friend answered in the same manner.

"No offence anyone, but I'm so sick of being stuck here," she laughed, and Remus lifted his hands up.

"None taken." He smiled. "But you're welcome to come back for a visit anytime."

She grimaced at that and everyone laughed.

"I'll take you up on that, just not... anytime very soon."

"We'll see each other at the Weasley dinners anyway." Tonks grinned, and Hermione nodded.

"Sure will."

----

Before going to bed that night she had checked on Draco, but he was fast asleep. And that very morning when she woke up she stood in front of her mirror, looking at her stomach and tried to imagine it bigger. She rested her hand on it, smiling faintly at her own reflection. It was so weird, but it was as if she had already grown used to it. To be honest, she didn't know if she would be a good mother, and if she'd even be able to deal with all this. But she knew she had no choice. She would have to deal with this as it came, taking one step at a time and try to make it work somehow. She was not the first person to get pregnant, and she sure as hell wouldn't be the last one.

She headed down stairs for what would be her last day in Grimmauld place, and she found Remus and Tonks seated at the kitchen table as usual, sipping their morning coffees and reading different parts of yesterday's _Daily Prophet_. She took a seat by the table, and _Accioed_ her own mug of coffee, waiting for Draco to come downstairs.

Like clockwork, he stood in the doorway only minutes later, and she felt his gaze rest on her. She looked up and met his steel grey eyes without smiling.

"I'm leaving," he said quietly.

"I know," she replied flatly. 

"What?"

"Don't you think I know you by now?" she asked harshly. "I knew you couldn't deal with all this. I knew you'd leave."

"I have to..."

"No, you don't have to. You choose to," she bit.

"I've brought you nothing but misery, and there's more at stake now."

"I can't believe you can be this selfish," she hissed, and got up from her chair. She sent an apologising look towards a baffled Tonks and Remus, and pushed him out of the room.

When she was sure they were out of earshot she put her hands on her hips and gave him a penetrating stare.

"So you have no troubles leaving me. Fine," she hissed. "But how can you let this child grow up without a father? What am I going to tell my three year old daughter when she asks about you? Ah no, sweetie, your dad doesn't think he's a good influence on us. He's scared to deal with what everyone else will think, and he didn't think he could handle it."

He gave her a pained expression as she shot her tirade at him, and he reached out to touch her, but she dodged him resolutely.

"Hermione, I'm doing this for you. You know I could never be who you two would want me to be."

"You know what, Draco?" she said, holding up her finger, pointing accusingly at him. "You can leave if you want to, but I am not going to let you hide behind your self-sacrificing motives, cause we both know you're running because of you. You're not doing this for me. Or her. Or anyone else. You're doing this for you."

He looked indignant at that, and opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off.

"You're being a selfish bastard. You can't deal with this. You doubt yourself and how far you've come, and you can't deal with moving forwards in your life. All you want to do is what you've always done; hidden, lived a life in misery, wallowed in your own self pity. You can't handle being happy, because it means you'll have something to lose."

"Hermione..."

"Don't you _Hermione_ me," she cried. "How can you leave now? Don't you think I'm scared too? And yet you're just going to go and leave me with everything. You're a selfish wanker, that's what you are."

"And that's another reason why you're better off without me," he replied softly.

"I'm not better off without you. You're the one I want to be with, the frigging father of my child. I'll be a single mother, having to juggle my job as a Healer and my job as a mother, when I could have had a family, my daughter could have had me and you," she growled. "And what will you do... run around finding women to drown your sorrows with? Drink yourself to death? Pretend like you did me some huge favour or another?"

She knew she had hit home when his face fell. It was just what he was planning to do.

"Well, I hope you feel damn good about the favour you're doing me," she hissed. 

"Hermione," he called softly. "You'll be a wonderful mother."

"Then why don't you stay behind and be the wonderful father we all know you'd be," she questioned, resting her hands protectively under her chest.

"I can't."

"No. You won't."

He threw his hands out to either side, and looked entirely exasperated.

"I don't care about all the bullshit you come up with. About how you're not good enough, and how you're doing me a favour by staying away and how you're harmful to us. All of that is just excuses because you can't bear to actually have a meaningful life. Because having a meaningful life means you can lose it."

Before she could stop him, he had darted forwards and gripped her face in his hands. His lips pressed hurriedly against hers, and her limbs seemed to stop working at once. Her mind told her to fight it, to wiggle out of his grip, but none of her body parts wanted to listen. Her lips cried for him to never let go, but before she knew it, nothing but air pressed against them. 

"Goodbye, Hermione."

"Yeah, that's right. Just leave, you fucking arse. Leave me here all alone with everything," she bellowed angrily at his back. "Just get out of here. But just know this... don't ever come back unless you're serious about sticking around. I don't want to see your face again until you've grown the hell up."

Seconds after her words had rung through the hallway, the door slammed shut and she stood alone in the large room, her arms wrapped around herself in a desperate try to calm down. She leaned against the wall and took several deep breaths, fought the tears back and went back into the kitchen.

Without meeting the eyes of the other two, she sat down again, re-heated her coffee and grabbed one of the abandoned parts of the _Daily Prophet_. She felt their eyes on her, but she didn't speak at all. 

Her silent treatment continued throughout the day. She didn't really plan to, she just felt so empty, and felt like she had said everything she wanted to say. Wrapped up in thoughts, she just stared into the air, feeling sort of queasy. She didn't know if that was the normal pregnancy stuff or the overwhelming feeling of being all alone. After a while she heard Harry and Ginny enter as well, but she didn't look at them. She continued to look towards the small window, feeling like a caged bird, even if she was getting out of here today.

"Hey all," Ginny greeted, and the couple next to her greeted her cheerfully back.

"What's up with her?" the redhead asked as both Harry and she took a seat at the table. 

"He left," Remus explained quietly, giving her a weary look. Hermione didn't move a muscle.

"That daft prick," Ginny hissed and slammed her hand to the table. "That stupid, fucked up prick."

"What happened?" Harry asked in concern, looking at her stony face.

Tonks shrugged. "He came in here and said he was leaving. She said she knew he would. Then they began discussing, and she pulled him out in the hallway. We heard her scream, but couldn't make out the words. Not that we were… erm… listening. Then we heard him leave."

Harry and Ginny both turned towards her looking so pained that she nearly left, but she remained seated. In fact, she remained in the exact position she had held since they entered.

"She hasn't said a word since she came back in here," Remus said carefully. 

Ginny sighed, and fell back into her chair.

"I can't believe he did this again."

The conversation continued without Hermione following it at all. Their voices came as a dull buzz in the background, continuing on and on in her ears. After a while she had definitely had enough of staring into thin air and got up with a sudden movement. She ran past them all and jumped the stairs in a hurry.

Safe in her room, she threw her suitcase onto her bed. She began to fold her clothes neatly, stacking them on top of each other. After a while she was joined by Ginny, who placed a hand securely over her shoulders.

"What are you doing?"

"Going home," Hermione answered calmly.

"And what are you going to do when you get home?"

"Live my life," she replied determinately, and closed the lid of the suitcase.

"Good," Ginny replied, hugging her carefully. Hermione wrapped her arms around her and gripped her tightly.

"I'm not going to lose anymore of my life because of him. I swear I won't." 

----

Hermione laughed loudly as she walked into their living room with Ginny trailing behind her.

"You didn't like the musical?" Hermione asked in an amused voice.

"They sing... _everything_," her friend replied back. "It's not natural."

"It's not supposed to be natural."

"So what's the point then?"

"The fun, the good music, the escape," Hermione suggested, plunging down onto the couch. It felt ages since she had been sitting there telling Ginny their story.

"I suppose," her friend replied, getting a yoghurt out of the fridge. 

"So what do you want to do tomorrow?" Hermione asked, curling her feet up on the couch.

"Are you still not tired of doing something new every day?" Ginny sighed, fluffing the pillow before taking a seat.

"No."

Ginny sighed again and threw her head back.

"Well, take Harry tomorrow. I need a day in."

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so high-maintenance," Hermione said with a crooked smile. "I can stay in."

Ginny laughed at that, and stuck her spoon down into the yoghurt, just as Hermione felt the familiar thug in her stomach. She closed her eyes and begged it to go away, but it came back even worse, and she rushed up from the couch. Hoping she'd make it, she threw herself into the bathroom, and managed to get to the toilet just before her dinner came up.

Her so-called morning sickness was pretty much like all-day sickness to be honest. Or her stomach virus, which was what Ginny thought it was. She hadn't told anyone, and wouldn't tell anyone. Obviously, it would show soon enough, but she never planned to utter the words. After all, why tell when the secret could reveal itself?

She was having most of the common symptoms for the first part of her pregnancy. Mood swings, cravings, nausea, dizziness, and she was pretty sure Fred thought she had magically enhanced her breasts. It made her feel quite alone. So very alone, in fact. Maybe she should tell someone. But no, she couldn't say the words. It would make it all too real. She sunk back against the wall, and rested her head against it. Wrapping her hands around her knees she cursed him for letting her go through all this alone.

"Sweetie, are you alright?" Ginny asked from the other side of the door.

"I'm fine," she croaked back. "Just that damn virus."

"It's been around for awfully long. Why won't you let me check it out?"

"I'm just as much a healer as you are. I think I know what I'm doing," she snapped back.

"I know you are. No need to be so short with me."

"I'm sorry."

"Let's rent a film and ask Harry over," Ginny suggested, but Hermione knew she wouldn't be the right company.

She got up from the floor, and opened the door to face her house mate.

"You two should watch a film." She smiled. "I'm just going to go to bed."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Can I get you anything?" Ginny asked carefully.

"I think I'll be okay," Hermione said, and grabbed her pyjamas from the bathroom counter. "No wait... do we have cheese?"

"Cheese?" her friend asked with her eyebrows raised.

Hermione shrugged. "Never mind."

"I'm going to call Harry over. Just join us if you want to."

"No, I'll be fine," Hermione assured her, and gave a small wave before closing the door to her bedroom. 

She fell onto the bed with a large sigh and rested her hand protectively on her stomach.

"Hey there," she said affectionately. "You like giving me a bit of grief, don't you? I suppose it's your job. It would just have been a bit easier if your father had been around. I know he loves you, but I think he's a bit lost. He doesn't realise what he really wants, or what he really wants scares him. But I know what I want, and that's you. I'm just waiting for you to go a bit easier on me. But I guess that won't happen until you're fifty and I'm in a nursing home."

Hermione wrapped herself under her covers, and slowly drifted into sleep. But she awoke the next morning to the same, rough treatment she had received last night, and had to rinse her mouth carefully before shuffling into the kitchen in her pyjamas. She knew she looked like crap, but hadn't cared less in her life. Right now she wanted cheese more than anything else. As she picked out some pieces of normal, mild cheese, she knew the pregnancy would show on her soon. Her belly had grown, but only a little. She had just entered her second trimester, and she knew it was just a matter of time. The worst part was that she knew Ginny would find out very soon. In fact, Hermione was surprised she was still so naive about it all.

Her mouth chewed absently on the pieces of cheese as she stood leaned against the counter, just as Ginny came into the kitchen. She looked well rested and gorgeous as usual, ready to go to work. Hermione was suffering under the fact that she had been unexplainably gone from her position for months, and her application for continuance was still pending. Which was probably for the better, considering that she would have had to take a leave soon anyway.

"You look cute," Hermione commented, and sent a mug of coffee over the counter. Personally, she had obviously been staying off it for months. Another reason why she didn't understand how Ginny could overlook the situation.

"Thanks." Ginny smiled, using her wand to gather her breakfast. "Look, just contact Harry if you want company today, right?"

"Will do," Hermione promised. 

Hermione left Ginny standing in the kitchen, and fell into an armchair by the TV, lost in a silly sitcom rerun. She heard Ginny leave, but didn't even feel like getting up to say goodbye. Or to get up to eat anything real. But she knew she really should.

The day passed by like any other, really. Even if her other days had been pretty action filled lately, since she had been obsessed with getting out since her period of being locked up. But this day was spent watching TV while munching her crisps, as well as cleaning the entire flat.

Sometime in the afternoon she heard Ginny come home, and Hermione looked up from her seat on the couch.

"Want some crisps?" Hermione asked with a large smile.

"I want the other kind more," Ginny said with her nose scrunched as she took a seat next to her. "Man, I'm exhausted."

"Erm, I've eaten both of the other bags," Hermione admitted shamefully. 

"Both?"

Ginny eyed her incredulously, and Hermione nodded before placing the bowl modestly back on the table.

"I had a patient today," Ginny began, curling further up onto the couch. "And she was pregnant."

"Really," Hermione said, knowing where this would lead.

"And I told her everything about she would expect during her pregnancy."

"Yes, that would be the right thing to do." She nodded, not changing her expression one bit.

"It gave me quite the revelation," Ginny continued.

Hermione didn't answer to that; she merely looked at her friend with a neutral expression on her face. 

"Hermione… are you…?"

"Yes."

"Merlin, why haven't you told anyone?" Ginny shrieked, gesturing wildly. 

"I don't want to tell anyone," she replied calmly. "It'll show soon enough."

"What are people going to say when you're suddenly just huge?"

"Probably 'you're pregnant'," Hermione replied smartly.

"You should've told us, so we could help you. How long have you known?" Ginny said in a pained voice.

"Since Lucius Malfoy told me," she replied matter-of-factly, and watched Ginny's mouth drop. 

"Since... He… told you..."

"He sensed its life force." She shrugged. "And then he told me how happy he was... that he got to kill us both."

"That utter bastard."

"Well, that's behind me now," Hermione said with a faint smile, very happy that it indeed was behind her.

"You should have told us," her friend accused.

"I didn't want to talk about it. I don't want to say it out loud," she admitted. "It makes it real."

"I think the vomiting and the growing makes it even more real," Ginny replied dryly. 

Hermione grimaced at that, knowing that was in fact true. 

"But Draco deserves to know. You can't keep it a secret."

"He knows."

Ginny sat bolt upright at that, looking ready to strike at someone if they got close enough. 

"He left even if he knew you were pregnant?"

"Yep."

"Okay, he's a dead man. I'm hunting him down, and I'm hexing him so badly he won't be able to stand," Ginny growled, but Hermione reached out and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Calm down, Gin. Yes, he's a selfish bastard. But I already told him that I don't want to see his face anywhere near me unless he grows the hell up. And you going over there to beat him to a pulp will only make him feel obligated to come."

"He should feel obligated," Ginny said indignantly.

"No matter how hard it will be to do this on my own, I don't want him to be here because he has to," she said, feeling the pain stronger than she had in a while.

"I can get that," Ginny relented, sighing as she fell back towards the pillows. "Merlin, Hermione, what are you going to do?"

"Take one day at a time like I've already been doing," she replied with a shrug. "There's nothing else to do."

----

**A/N:** Oh Draco, you're so confused and stupid. But I still love you. –huggles-

Thanks for all reviews:x  
And rest assured, no one's dying in these last chapters either.

Bahah I think you'll learn that I have a hard time killing my characters off, so the chance of that ever happening in a fic of mine is VERY small.


	27. XXVI : Trainwreck

**A/N:** Aw, I didn't mean for you all to _hate_ Draco. Haha. He's just confused and scared that he'll hurt the ones he loves if he stays.

As an apology for making you all hate Draco, I'm giving you the next instalment right now:

----

**XXVI ; Trainwreck**

The days passed by of Hermione's life, and her pregnancy grew entirely more visible. In her fifth month she was so visibly pregnant that there could be no mistake. Which was why she was dreading the Weasley family dinner she had agreed to attend. She hadn't seen anyone but Ginny for the past few weeks, as she had barely left the apartment. But she knew she couldn't hide forever.

"Put on that green dress I bought you," Ginny urged with a smile from the hall between their bedrooms.

"But I look like a mini-giant," she whined, pulling the emerald green dress over her head.

"You do not. You look beautiful," her friend called. "You're glowing."

"Yes. With sweat. From having to carry this sponge around," she replied bitterly.

"You mean you're lovely, adorable princess?"

"Yes, that sponge."

Ginny laughed heartily. "Don't be so negative."

"You do realise this day will be pretty intense, yeah?"

"I have grown up in that house, you know," she replied dryly.

"But you've never came home sporting a hidden pregnancy."

"True."

Hermione emerged from her bedroom, and joined Ginny in front of the large mirror. She turned to find her house mate looking at her with such a soft expression that she sighed in exasperation.

"Don't you start crying again," Hermione warned, just as Ginny flung herself around her neck.

"You look so wonderful."

"Yes yes, I look ravishing. Like a marvellous, green mountain of seaweed."

Ginny laughed again, let her out of her grip and began fixing her own hair instead.

"Don't worry about tonight. It will be fine."

"I'm not so sure about that. It was hard enough to keep you from assassinating Draco. I doubt if the others will be as easy persuade," she said dryly.

"Erm yeah. There's that," Ginny admitted. "But it's probably easier to get it over with."

"Oh, let's just leave," Hermione urged, and dragged Ginny into the living room.

"Hey, is it even safe for me to Apparate?" she asked then, and Ginny looked a bit taken a back.

"I think so. I haven't read anywhere that you shouldn't be."

"Then I guess I'll try then."

"Good luck tonight, you two," Ginny said, an lowered her head towards Hermione's stomach and rubbed it carefully.

"We'll need it."

The two girls soon materialised in front of the crooked glory of The Burrow, as always filling Hermione with a warm sense of nostalgia and familiarity. She blocked out her worries, and gripped Ginny's hand as they stepped inside. The commotion from the kitchens told them that most of the others must already be in place, and they gave each other one last encouraging look before swinging the door open.

At first the kitchen erupted in loud greetings as Ginny stepped in first, and Hermione followed right behind. They both greeted them all back, and Ginny stepped up to Harry and gave him a quick kiss as she swooped down beside him. Hermione leaned over to the table and grabbed one of the breadsticks from the little basket. When she straightened up with slight difficulty, the entire room fell eerily quiet, except Molly, who was standing by the counter and hadn't noticed what was going on. She turned around at the sudden quiet, and her mouth fell open instantly.

"Hi, guys," Hermione waved, giving them all a faint smile. "Got room for me somewhere?"

"Darn good question," Fred squeaked in an abnormally high-pitched voice, and she rewarded him with a short laugh.

"You've certainly… changed… since the last time we saw you," Tonks said, almost stumbling over a few of the words.

"Tell be about it." She sighed, making her way along one side of the table, finding a small opening between Charlie and Fred. She shooed them each further to either side, and managed to place herself between them with difficulty.

She felt everyone's eyes on her, and she sighed heavily at the strangled atmosphere.

"Look, I know what you're thinking..."

"I don't think you do," Harry protested in a loud voice.

"What the hell have you been eating?" George cried. "You're huge."

Hermione rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"Ah yes, George. I ate a baby and it happened to stick in there and began making me grow to get back at me," she snapped, before biting the inside of her lip. She didn't want to blow up at them during the entire evening, and she had prepared herself for this to be awkward, but it seemed to rile her up a bit more than she expected.

"You're pregnant," Charlie stated breathlessly, and the entire table seemed to tense.

"Good boy." She grinned, patting him on the head.

"But... how?" Fred asked incredulously, and Hermione raised an eyebrow at him.

"I didn't realise you were so innocent, little Freddie," she teased. "I can walk you through the basics, if you wish..."

She opened her mouth, but every male in the room held up their hands and yelled for her to keep her mouth shut. All the girls began laughing at that, and Hermione shook her head in amusement.

"Who's the father?" George inquired in a stern voice, and Hermione was nearly overcome by their stupidity.

"You know, I'm not sure... it's either Severus Snape, Harry or that guy from Metallica — Muggle band," she said in a mock-unsure voice, before adding a sharp, "Who do you think it is?"

"Harry?"

"No, you imbecile," she moaned, hitting her palm to her forehead. "It's Draco Bloody Malfoy, obviously."

"But he ran off," Charlie said uncertainly.

"Yes, he did. Nineteen weeks ago. And I'm in my twenty first week of pregnancy."

"Where is he, then?" Harry asked, looking uncertainly at Ginny who was keeping quiet to see how Hermione handled the situation.

"God only knows. Haven't seen him since he left."

"He doesn't know?" Remus asked quizzically.

"Well. Since Lucius Malfoy told us both about the third life force, and then gleefully added how much he looked forward to kill both dirty blooded creatures in one go... he knows," Hermione stated dryly, and left an odd silence across the entire room at that.

"And he still left?" Tonks asked quietly in an emotional voice.

"Sure did."

"Okay that's it. That arse has it coming," Fred cried, jumping up from his seat, but Hermione dragged him down with all her force.

"Sit down," she boomed. "No one's finding Draco. No one's going to hex him into oblivion. I've already had this discussion with my lovely house mate."

"How can you say that after he's just left you hanging?" George asked in frustration.

"Draco Malfoy is a loner," Hermione explained calmly. "He's not used to worrying about anyone but himself and his own agenda. And he can't deal with suddenly having something important in his life, because that means he can actually lose it. So he ignores it, and makes up excuses about not being good enough."

The others remained silent at that, and she reached for another breadstick.

"And either he'll drink himself to death or go back to his old arrogant bastard ways, or he'll wake up and realise why he's doing what he's doing. But I already told him I don't want to see his face again unless he grows the hell up," she continued forcefully. "And if anyone starts interfering, he'll come back just because he feels obligated, and he'll end up leaving again someday when she's grown attached to him and we actually have something important to lose."

"You've given this a lot of thought," Harry commented quietly.

"Every day," she said with a faint smile.

"You said she," Molly suddenly commented, sounding oddly choked.

"Yeah, it's a girl." Hermione smiled, and the older lady beamed happily at her.

"Congratulations, dear," she cried, and Hermione rose from her seat to give the woman she loved so dearly a hug. "Oh another toddler around the house. It will be delightful. I do hope you'll consider one of the Weasley family names…"

"Molly…" her husband warned. "As happy as I am for Hermione, I hope she has enough sense to run far away from our dreadful family names."

Hermione chuckled at that.

"Thanks for the offer, Molly. I haven't given it much thought yet," she admitted as she sat down again.

"Look, Hermione," Charlie began, putting his arm around her shoulders. "Even if Draco is too fucked up to be around, we'll all be here for you. And we'll love her as much as we love you."

Hermione smiled gratefully at that, and when the others loudly confirmed his statement, tears welled into her eyes and ran freely down her cheeks. 

"Oh these damn hormones," she said in frustration, and dried her cheeks with a large, blue napkin.

"It's okay, sweetie." Ginny laughed. "As long as it's not the other thing."

"Don't even say it," Hermione warned, before giving a slight smile.

"Well, if this wasn't wonderful news, I don't know what is," Molly beamed. "Should be celebrated with a meal."

"And we hope you have one, cause we sure as hell don't," Fred announced, leaving the table in a roar of laughter.

Molly brought them the promised meal only minutes later, and Hermione dug in with a strong appetite, and the delicious food nearly melted on her tongue.

"What have you guys been up to while I've been puking and growing?" she asked Fred, who was stretching out to get a second serving.

"Keeping up with the demands of the store, working on some new items. Enjoying another peaceful period without too much death and destruction looming," he replied with a smile, and passed her the damped broccoli.

"Fred's been dating this girl too." George winked, nudging his twin in the ribs.

"Have not," Fred said sternly.

"He has. Don't listen to him," Charlie piped in from the other side of her. "He wouldn't be in this good mood if there wasn't a girl involved."

"Oooh, do I know her?" Hermione asked excitedly.

"No, I doubt you would. She works in the neighbour shop," George revealed, and Fred sighed heavily between them.

"She better be a nice girl, or I'll come hunt her down for you," she promised holding her fork up. "Pregnant ladies can be mean."

"I don't doubt that," Fred replied dryly giving the fork an apprehensive look. She chuckled and put it down by her plate before giving him a one armed hug. 

"Not to you. You're so sweet."

"I doubt you always thought that," George snickered. "I distinctively remember a feisty prefect in our Seventh Year."

"Well, opinions change." She shrugged, and the twins raised their eyebrows at that.

"Obviously," they said in unison, eyeing her growing stomach.

She stuck her tongue out at them, and they chuckled. 

"If someone told me this a few months ago, I would be less surprised if it was Harry's," George commented.

"Now that's just insane, George. He's Ginny's girlfriend. Why on earth would I do such a thing?" she asked in disdain.

"Well if someone asked you in Sixth Year if you'd ever touch Draco Malfoy, what would you have said?"

"I wouldn't have said anything... I would have hexed them silly."

"Exactly." They nodded.

"And then I figured out it wasn't quite as bad as I thought," she said calmly.

"I can live with 'not quite as bad'," Fred commented with a slight grimace. "That means it probably didn't happen too often."

Hermione laughed loudly at that.

"Sorry to burst your bubble," she commented before taking a bite. "But it was in fact pretty pleasurable. No wait. Very pleasurable."

"Oh no. Very pleasurable. That means it happened a bit more than not too often," George gulped.

"Yes, silly gooses, it happened quite a lot of times. Why are you so concerned with this, anyway?" she chuckled.

"You're a sister to us. The thought of him touching you makes us retch."

Hermione reached out and patted his arm.

"Even if I am a sister to you, for which I'm glad, I'm still a woman like several other people on this earth. And when a man makes me burn up from the inside out I don't particularly want to sto –"

"Oh great Merlin, please stop," George cried, and she snorted with laughter.

"God, you're such prudes."

"Don't listen to them," Ginny commented from across the table. "They've just lost touch with it all cause they haven't been laid in years."

"I beg your pardon," Fred cried in indignation, but was partially drowned out by shrieking laughter from everyone else.

"Let's not talk about this," George ordered, and turned to Remus with a dignified manner. "How's the decorating going?"

"Very well, actually," Remus replied. "Having to do it ourselves is turning out to be quite fun, in fact."

"How nice it'll look is another story," Tonks commented dryly.

"Oh shush. It looks great." Remus smiled.

"Says the guy who did all the work."

"Look, it looks just fine," he argued.

" I hear redecorating is the number one reason why couples split up," Hermione told them. "You guys watch out."

They laughed quickly at that, and turned to give each other a quick kiss.

"We'll be fine." Tonks smiled. "As long as the whole burning up from the inside out part works..."

"Merlin, the whole lot of you are perverts," Fred cried, and everyone just laughed at his desperation.

"Never did know the twins would be the prudes of the family," Harry commented with a lopsided grin. "Interesting turn of events."

The rest of the evening was spent in the Weasley's living room, only interrupted by Hermione Apparating up to the bathroom in a hurry to say goodbye to her dinner, and then reassuring Molly that her dinner was absolutely delicious and that was in no way the reason. Luckily, the mother of seven understood quite well. When Ginny and Hermione came home that night, she knew it had gone quite well despite of everything.

"You handled it nicely," Ginny assured her as they hung up their cloaks.

"I nearly blew up at them," she commented remorsefully.

"No, I wouldn't say that. You replied a bit aggressively, yes. But with humour. Plus you're pregnant, so you have an excuse."

"It is quite nice to have an excuse," she replied with a slight smile, using her wand to flick on some lights in the dark apartment. "I'm just glad you're all so good about this."

"Of course we are, sweetie. You're part of the family," Ginny replied with a faint smile.

"It just keeps nagging me that she'll have no blood family. With his parents being gone, and my parents being killed in the Muggle raidings... and us both being an only child," Hermione admitted. "I'm so glad you guys are there to be aunts and uncles and grandparents until she practically drowns in them."

Ginny laughed appreciatively at that, and wrapped her in a quick hug.

"Family doesn't always have to be blood related," she pondered. "I know they say blood is thicker than water, but I don't necessarily think it is."

"At least not for you Weasleys. Your hearts are almost to big to fit anywhere."

"Oh will you stop." Ginny chuckled. "We're not that great."

"Yes you are."

----

Having the secret out made life easier for Hermione. The urge to hide became drastically smaller, and she started getting prepared for how life would be with a baby. It was a wonderful September morning on Diagon Alley when she strolled in and out of various stores. Being who she was, she couldn't quite stop herself from buying a whole stack of books about pregnancy, birth and childcare. Anything else would be unnatural. She had also been to several stores buying small clothing items, blankets, as well as supplies from a list Molly had helped her write.

The larger items such as a crib would have to wait until Harry had time to come with her. She would definitely need help to get it all home. Again, the inconvenience of being alone struck her as she made her way through the crowded street. She had always loved Diagon Alley, with its overcrowded streets and stores filled to the brim with magical whatsits. There wasn't a thing you couldn't find in Diagon Alley, with the exception of various Muggle things.

"Hermione?"

She stopped abruptly in her path, and turned around in confusion.

"Hermione Granger, is that you?"

Her eyes finally fell on a brown-haired girl waving frenetically at her. Hermione beamed and darted over to give the girl a quick hug, made somewhat difficult by her growing stomach.

"Lavender!" she greeted warmly. "So amazing to see you!"

"Oh great Merlin," her longtime friend exclaimed. "You're pregnant."

"Sure am." She grinned, giving her stomach a protective rub.

"Congratulations, that's fantastic," Lavender beamed.

"What have you been doing?"

"Oh, I work at Gringott's," Lavender told her. "And I've just moved in with my boyfriend, so life is treating me well. I hear you're a Healer."

Hermione nodded at that, not really feeling in the mood to explain that she wasn't actually in work anymore.

"But I guess you're on a leave now," the other girl pondered, and Hermione nodded gratefully for the escape explanation. "So, who's the lucky guy?"

She chuckled at that, knowing this topic would bring a lot of amusing conversations. She had decided a long time ago that she had no interest in hiding her daughter's identity, and she could just picture the faces of her old classmates. Or anyone else who knew the Malfoys for that matter, which was just about everyone.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," she said with a crooked smile, making Lavender raise her eyebrows slightly.

"Really? Now I'm definitely intrigued."

"It's Draco," Hermione revealed, but the other girl's face remained confused.

"Draco who?" she asked, and Hermione gave a small chuckle.

"How many Dracos do you know?" she teased.

"I... No," Lavender exclaimed as her eyes grew wider. "You're joking."

Hermione gave her a reassuring smile at that, hoping to convey that pretty much everyone gave the same reactions. 

"Afraid not," she replied in amusement. "I'm carrying around a little Malfoy girl. Come to think of it, I wonder how long it's been since a girl was born into that line of arrogant males."

Lavender was just looking at her with her mouth open, obviously beyond confused at that piece of information. Then Hermione could formerly see her shake it off, and her face fell into an expression of intense concern.

"Look, Hermione," she said and stepped closer to put a hand on her shoulder. "Were you... you know... raped? Cause if he forced himself on you, you need to tell someone so he can pay for what he did!"

Hermione's eyes widened as she spoke, before she gave a small laugh to Lavender's surprise.

"No no no, Lavender," she replied quickly, shaking her head furiously. "It was consensual. Very... very consensual."

"Oh, good!" the other girl replied and let her breath out. "I had to ask, you know."

"Of course," Hermione nodded, "and I'm glad you're looking out for me. But there were no crimes committed."

"Thank Merlin for that," Lavender smiled. "I can't say it's not a surprise, though. All things… considered."

"You mean cause I'm Muggle-born?" Hermione helped.

"Well, that too. And the fact that you hated each other for seven years in school."

"Six, to be honest." Hermione smiled. "The year in the Heads dormitories was a bit more complicated."

"I see," her friend answered in comprehension. "So where is he?"

Hermione froze at that. She could have beaten herself up for not having seen that coming. How could she ever tell all her friends and acquaintances that he had ran out on her, giving them quite an unfair picture of him. Sure, he had left her there, but he had reasons most people could never comprehend. And she didn't want their pity, or their anger. She was doing fine, except she missed him more every day.

"He's... erm..."

Her thoughts made her certain that she had imagined the familiar voice from behind her. 

"I'm right here, sweetie."

She frowned at the fact that she could hear him so clearly in her mind, but was thrown off by the look Lavender threw over her shoulders. Hermione started breathing heavily, and knew it couldn't be. Not even she could have this much bad luck. Slowly, she turned around and nearly fainted when his tall frame stood right behind her, looking down at her with a large smile and his blond hair looking wonderfully unruly and unkept.

"Oh... there you… are," she stuttered, mesmerized by his close presence. She cursed herself for reacting so strongly when she was more annoyed at him than anything. But she couldn't hide the fact that she had longed for him every day since the moment he left.

"Sorry for running off like that. I had some business to attend to," he said with a small smile, and she swallowed heavily.

Before she managed to get her head straight, she noticed him coming noticeably closer and his lips met hers in a soft kiss that made her toes curl. Even the quick touch of their lips sent sparks through her, and even as he pulled away she kept her eyes closed and tried to drown herself in the imprint his lips left. When she felt his hand around her waist, she opened her eyes and gave a pale smile.

"Hey, nice to meet you," Draco suddenly said, reaching out his free hand towards the other girl. "Lavender, right?"

"Lavender Brown," she confirmed with a slight smile as she gripped his hand.

"Draco Malfoy," he replied, and Hermione noticed that he sent her several sideway glances.

"Yes, your rumour precedes you." Lavender smiled. "Congratulations on the new family member."

"Thank you, we can't wait," he beamed, and Hermione's inside squirmed in discomfort. Hearing him say those things when he didn't really mean them made her want to scream and cry in pain, and more than anything she wanted to physically beat him.

"So great to see you, honey," Lavender said and leaned in to give Hermione a peck on the cheek. "Keep me updated on everything."

"I will," Hermione promised, even if her tongue felt as if it had swollen to the size of a Bludger.

With growing worry, she watched Lavender's slender back as it moved away from them, and she knew she was alone with him. Stuck in the web. And it wasn't like she could outrun him, since he was tall and rather athletic with long, muscular legs and she was short, normally built and now severely pregnant. She clutched all her bags closer to herself as to use them as a protective fort between herself and him, but he turned her towards him and watched her with a hungry expression.

"Merlin…" he said breathlessly. "You're beautiful."

"Right, never felt better," she replied sarcastically.

He caught her by surprise again when he put his hand behind her head and caught her in a breathtaking kiss. Most of her mind wanted to hate him, to be disgusted by him touching her after all he had done. But some part of it, and her entire heart, burned under his kiss, wanting it to never end. She knew she answered him back, but when the tip of their tongues met, every bit of pain and longing she had felt the past few months hit her hard and she pulled away. In a sudden surge of anger she pushed him roughly in the chest, making him stagger backwards.

"How dare you?" she bellowed. "How can you stand here and pretend to be the perfect family? Pretend that you want her… that you want me? Do you even know what that does to me?"

She gripped her bags closer and started sprinting as much as her physique allowed her, knowing that the Weasley's Wizarding Weezes were close by. When it came within view, she picked up her pace even further, knowing he would follow her if he'd seen where she went. She looked over her shoulder before throwing the door open and saw him making his way through the crowd. Breathing heavily, she staggered inside, making all the customers look up in alarm. The lady closest to her rushed forward and grabbed her hand to help her stand straight. 

"Hermione!" Fred exclaimed from one of the isles where he was helping a shocked looking customer. "Are you alright? Is the baby okay?"

"The baby's fine," she panted, leaning over into his hands as he rushed over. "He's here... I … met him out there."

"The stupid idiot," Fred muttered.

He led her up against the counter, where she dropped all her bags and leaned onto it in relief. Her elbow rested against the counter as she gripped her forehead and wondered why he couldn't just leave her alone when that was obviously what he wanted.

George came tumbling out of the storage room, and found her resting against it, and Fred standing protectively over her.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, The Git is around." Fred sighed.

"Don't call him that," she protested in a pained voice, and he sighed again.

"I'm sorry, but if he didn't leave you, I wouldn't have to."

He took her bags, and led her carefully away from prying eyes. She let herself be guided by his arms into the large backrooms usually just reserved for staff. Once in there, she rested her head heavily against the wall, still remembering his lips on hers. She tried her best to make him leave her mind, but she just couldn't keep seeing his face. Fred went back into the shop after asking if she were alright, and only seconds later she heard the front door smash open.

"Just leave," she heard Fred say in a stern voice.

Leaning in carefully, she peaked around the corner and saw the tall, blond man stand in the doorway breathing heavily. He looked almost dangerous, with a wild expression in his eyes, apparently giving the other customers the same feeling since they all backed off and held a good grip around their wands.

"Fred, I know she's in here," he said in a voice not at all matching his appearance. It sounded wounded and scared, and so pained she almost felt a bit confused.

"Which is exactly why you should leave, Malfoy," he bit back, and she noticed that Draco had very much noticed the use of his last name, but seemed to let it slip at that point.

"I just need to talk to her. I have to talk to her," he begged. "Please let me see her."

"You obviously already saw her since she came rushing in here, running around like a crazy woman at almost six months pregnant!"

"Merlin, Fred. I have to," he cried, slamming his fist into the nearest wall, making several of the costumers jump in surprise, and she saw one of them pulling his wand out.

She emerged from her hiding spot, holding her hand out towards the wizard who was ready to take Draco down.

"It's okay." She smiled at him, and he seemed to retreat at that, but still kept a wary eye on the frustrated man. "I'm here, Draco."

"Hermione..." he breathed, taking a step closer, but stopped when he saw all the vile looks he was getting, even from customers who didn't even know them. She almost laughed at the absurdity of it, and would have if she didn't feel so vulnerable.

"Why you don't get what this does to me, I don't know," she said calmly. "But I can't deal with this now. It's not the time, and it's definitely not the place."

"Love, I need you to listen to me," he said calmly. "I need to talk to you."

"If you wanted to talk, maybe you shouldn't have scared me off by just kissing me in the middle of the street after I hadn't seen you for months," she hissed, and supported herself against the side of the counter, ignoring the large eyes of the people around them.

"I'm sorry about that, but can you really blame me?" he said gesturing towards her. "You look... radiant. And I've never been able to keep away from you."

"No, we can see that," Fred commented dryly, nudging towards her stomach.

Hermione gave him a stern look and put her arms to her hips. He just shrugged, and began stacking skiving snack boxes on top of each other by the counter.

"And by the way," Draco said with his hands crossed over his chest. "You kissed me back."

Hermione reddened at that, and threw her hands out. "Well, I've never been able to keep away from you either, have I? The moment you stand next to me all sensible thoughts just take flight, and I let you grab me away to some place of… of… burning..."

"Hermione!" Fred exclaimed in a horrified voice. "You are scaring my customers."

"Oh God, Fred. I'm so sorry," she apologised, and flushed horribly when she remembered they weren't alone.

While the customers didn't at all seem frightened, but more as though they were following a soap opera on the television with greedy expressions, Draco was chuckling warmly at her out of control speech.

"It's not funny," she snapped, biting her lip furiously.

"Oh come on, sweetie," he said warmly, closing the distance between them.

She swallowed heavily as he tucked a strain of her frizzy hair behind her ear.

"See, this is exactly what I mean," she said in exasperation. "I'm trying to be sensible and do the right thing, and you do something like this and I can't even think straight."

He smiled crookedly at that, and looked down on her with such an affectionate expression that her knees nearly buckled.

"Look, I already told you. I don't want you with us until you've made up your mind completely, and I can tell you haven't," she said, and he made to speak, but she didn't let him. "There's not just me anymore. You've left me before, and yes… for very _important and noble_ reasons, and this last time for less noble reasons, but I know that no matter how much it hurts, I survive. But I don't want her to have to survive that. I don't want her to grow close to you, and then you suddenly figure out that you put us in danger or something equally dramatic, and then leave."

"Hermione..." he whispered in a pained voice. "I..."

"No, Draco, I can't hear this. I can't do this right now."

She turned on her heel at that, picked up her bags and Disapparated out of there without reacting to her name being called.

He stood frozen to the floor, feeling the familiar anger towards himself rise dangerously. Breathing heavily, he drew his hands through his hair, not knowing what to do. Why had he run off? Why had he been such a selfish prick? He should have known right away there was no way he could live without her. She was everything he had. Everything. The anger towards himself peaked, and he threw his own hand towards his head with a loud smack, making several of the baffled onlookers gasp. 

"Hey!" Fred called, and came rushing over. "No self harm in my store."

"You would be inflicting yourself self harm every minute of every day if you were as fucked up in the head as I am," Draco muttered bitterly.

"Oh come on, mate."

"No, I can't believe how dense I am," he continued. "I had her. I had her and my kid, and I left it all behind cause I was scared."

"Why would you be scared?" Fred asked just as George too stepped out from behind the counter, only having listened to the drama so far.

"Because I've never had anything to lose," he groaned desperately, throwing his arms out. "I've never had any real friends, my parents were both emotionally challenged to say the least. I've never had anything I've been afraid to lose."

"What makes you think you'd lose them, though?" George inquired as he reached them.

"There are many other bastards out there even if my father is dead. Merlin knows I've seen them come and go," he stated dryly. "And I don't have any... guarantee that none of them will react to it, and get the same idea my father had."

"No one's as emotionally involved as your father was, though," Fred argued. "He was obsessed with the purity of his family's blood, and she endangered it."

"Why would someone else care about your family's bloodline?" George asked.

"Because all the purebood families are interlinked somehow, and even if they weren't they'd take it as a personal insult that I 'befouled' one of the most respected pureblood families," he said in exasperation. "I just want this blood business out of my life. I don't bloody care anymore."

Then he turned to the rest of the room, taking in all their appearances. His face fell into a grimace when his eyes fell on a tallish teenager, probably still at Hogwarts. He knew the kind. So well.

"You," he said loudly, pointing at the scrawny looking boy who straightened up under his gaze. "You're in Slytherin, I presume."

The boy nodded.

"And you're blood fantast like most of them, aren't you?"

The boy didn't answer at that, perhaps cleverly so.

"Aren't you?" he asked threateningly, and the boy nodded quickly. "Snap out of it. Quickly."

The boy's mouth fell slightly open at that.

"You know who I am, don't you?" Draco asked. 

"You're Draco Malfoy," the boy said uncertainly.

"I am," he confirmed coldly. "And I spent the first sixteen years of my life thinking I was better than everyone but a selected few. What good did it do me? Nothing. I lived in a loveless family, with a father who cared more about his precious blood and his master than his wife and his son. I had no real friends. Everyone I knew clung together because of the status it could bring us, trying to find out how we could use each other the most. And I was hell-bent on following in my father's footsteps."

He wrenched his sleeve up, revealing the pitch black mark on his arm, making several people jump back in disgust and fear, remembering everything it stood for.

"All it got me was this horrid thing. This thing that has marked me forever as something I hate. Once I had what I always wanted I realised it was an empty and twisted life, and I wanted out. And I got out, thank Merlin. I worked for the other side to bring him down. This obsession with blood and purity has brought me nothing.

"I woke up one day, feeling the emptiness of my existence. It nearly knocked me over, and I knew it wasn't what I wanted it to be. Then I met the most wonderful person. Someone who made me feel worthy and cared for, and even alive. And then people go around judging me because she's a Muggle-born. It pisses me off," he cried.

He felt so frustrated, so sick of being judged by people in his circles. Why did they even bother? It wasn't their life.

"She's the cleverest witch I know, the best person I know. Why do people care what parents she had?" he asked in desperation. "You, boy. Get out while you still can. Get the hell away from those nut jobs. They'll suck all the life out of you."

"Draco, mate," Fred said calmly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Not everyone does that. Judge her, or you or your relationship. You just need to learn which people to keep close."

"Those shouldn't be too hard to find," he grimaced. "That'll be the people I've always avoided."

Fred shrugged at that. "Most likely."

"Fred, you've got to help me," he begged. "I love her so much. I've got to get her back."

Fred let his breath out, but looked severely apprehensive. He exchanged a quizzical look with his twin, who just gave the same look back.

"I know I don't deserve a second… or third… chance." He sighed. "But I can't be without her. I should've realised it before, but for some reason I never did. I need her. And my kid. And I need her to know I'm serious this time."

"Alright, we'll help you," Fred relented, throwing his arms out. "Even if she does a good job pretending, we know she's miserable without you."


	28. XXVII : Ordinary Miracle

**XXVII ; Ordinary Miracle**

Hermione Apparated straight into their flat, dropping her bags exhaustively to the floor. The meeting had drained her completely, and left her in a whirl of emotion. Actually seeing him again had awakened a lot of unwelcome feelings of longing, and at that moment she couldn't get him off her mind. She rested her hands on her stomach, feeling entirely confused and lost.

"Hey, honey, how was your shopping trip?" Ginny asked just as she came through the door, holding Harry in her firm grip.

"Full of drama," she admitted as she got a bottle of ice cold water out of the fridge. 

"Didn't realise shopping for baby items was that exciting," Harry said with his eyebrows raised.

"No, it normally isn't," she commented. "Until Draco shows up."

"_No_," Ginny gasped.

"Yes. In fact, he manages to come along just as I'm telling Lavender he's the father. And he puts on this amazing show of the perfect family, then he kisses me when she leaves and I push him away and run to Fred and George's. Where he follows me and makes a scene."

"Wow, I don't even know what to say."

"It's so exhausting," Hermione complained, letting herself fall into an armchair. "It takes so much for me to resist him, and I just don't want to give in too soon. I want him to be sure."

"Well, just forget about him for a while. It's your birthday next week. Think about that instead," Ginny suggested.

"How can I think about that when you guys are doing all the planning for the party?" Hermione accused, giving them annoyed stares.

"You can look forward to it," Harry concluded, and reached for the remote. "And in the mean time we can watch TV."

Hermione felt her little girl kick, and she put her hand over the spot, smiling slightly.

"Baby agrees." She shrugged, and turned her eyes towards the TV.

As the evening neared, Harry retreated to his own place and Hermione knew Ginny wanted to go with him. She could see it in her eyes as she looked up at him with a fond expression, receiving a quick kiss in reward.

"Oh, go with your boyfriend," Hermione moaned loudly. "I can practically feel the tension."

She staggered up from the couch, feeling like a beached whale in the process, and rested her hands on her back to relieve some tense muscles.

"I can't just leave you here," Ginny protested, resting her arm around Harry's waist.

"Of course you can. I'm not terminally ill," she argued. "And I'm just going to go to bed now anyway."

Her house mate still looked rather apprehensive, and Hermione shot her a stern look as she passed by the two.

"Please go, Gin. I don't want to keep you locked in here just because I've managed to turn myself into Momo the mother Whale," she said. "Go!"

"Alright, stop nagging, Mum," she laughed, letting Harry lead her out towards the entrance hall. "Be careful."

"I'm going to sleep. There's not much to be careful about," Hermione commented dryly, and gave a tiny wave. "Have fun."

Her two friends went into the hall, and she continued down towards her own bedroom, not even bothering to stop by the bathroom on her way there. She just slipped in through the door, and shred her clothes. Instead of putting on the nightgown she had bought since she started getting bigger, she dove into the second shelf in her dresser and found the grey t-shirt hidden underneath all her own items. Ignoring the little voice in her head saying it was a bad idea, she pulled it on and went over to her bed where she sat down heavily and pulled the covers halfway over her belly.

She looked absently into thin air, feeling the cool fabric of the shirt against her warm skin. Carefully, she bent down and sniffed at it, the lump in her throat going bigger when she recognised the scent of him. The shirt tightened over her growing stomach, and she led her hand lovingly across it, tears welling up in her eyes.

She let herself cry, let herself drown in the misery she felt over being so entirely alone. She hoped in a way that it would feel better once she got it out of her system, and she let every fantasy and every thought about him surface, crying for everything she couldn't have.

"I knew you weren't fit to be alone," Ginny said quietly from the entrance to her bedroom. "I turned around right outside the apartment."

"You shouldn't have," she replied, drying the tears from her eyes, feeling embarrassed by being caught in such a vulnerable and self pitying position.

Ginny came in and closed the door behind her, before walking to the other side of the bed and climbing on. She came to rest next to her tear ridden friend, and put her arm comfortingly around her

"Come on, sweetie, it'll be okay," she shushed, but Hermione had no way of closing the gaping wound she had opened.

She rested her head on Ginny's shoulder and tried to stifle her sobs.

"This is his shirt, isn't it?" the redhead asked calmly, and Hermione nodded carefully against her shoulder. "Oh, why are you doing this to yourself?"

Hermione didn't answer at first; instead she swallowed back the tears until her chest seemed to lighten a bit. 

"I just miss him so much," she admitted in a strained voice, and Ginny tightened her grip. "I don't know what to do anymore."

"What can you do but go on with your life?"

"I don't know if I want to go on with my life. I want him in it. I want him to be here so badly, and if I'm going to keep seeing him at random times like this I'll go crazy," she cried in exasperation.

"Then why wouldn't you speak to him today?"

"I don't know." She sighed. "I guess I was scared that he would tell me that he had decided for good to never come back. Or that he wanted to be a part of her life, but not of mine. I don't know what I'd do."

"I think you're giving him too little credit," Ginny said quietly. "He's crazy about you, he probably just needs some time to adjust. He'll be back in your life once he's certain he can be there for you."

"I'm not exactly giving him a chance to talk," she said in regret. "God, what if he had something important to say, but since I blew him off he doesn't want to tell me anymore."

"Hermione, if he had something important to say, he'll try again," Ginny assured her.

Hermione lolled her head back and ran her hands through her hair in desperation.

"I just keep running all these scenarios through my head. What if I never get him back, Gin? What if I'll have to see him with someone else…"

Ginny ran her hand comfortingly along her arm.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I hope you never have to go through that, but to be honest I can't promise you it won't happen. Not unless you get back together again."

Hermione sunk further into the bed, feeling her tears leak again. She drew the covers further up towards her neck, and Ginny let her small hand run over her hair.

"I'll sleep here with you tonight," she announced.

Hermione didn't fight her on it; instead she lifted the covers so Ginny could slide inside and put her arms around her. She sighed as she relaxed in Ginny's embrace, but as much as she appreciated her friend's care, she couldn't help but wish the embrace was from someone else at that moment.

"I love him so much," she whispered in a pained voice.

"I know," Ginny soothed as she held her comfortingly.

----

Hermione slept in his shirt every night from then on, and she thought she saw him around the corner wherever she went. It was driving her crazy, and she was certain that all the moping around couldn't be good for the baby, but she just couldn't seem to snap out of it.

"So, excited about your birthday party?" Ginny asked over breakfast. 

"Sure, it'll be so much fun." She smiled back, and Ginny put the milk back with a loud thud.

"I appreciate your show, but you've been moping around here like a sick puppy," she commented dryly. "Just try to be a bit cheerful tonight. People have worked to make this nice for you."

"I'm sorry," Hermione replied with a grimace. "I've been absolute shitty company lately. I'll step it up tonight.

"I can't keep being like this every day for God only knows how long. I'll end up pushing all my friends and family away." She sighed. "Just cause I lost one, doesn't mean I have to lose the rest."

"First of all, you haven't lost him. And you're not going to lose the rest," Ginny said, rolling her eyes. "That's the state of mind you have to part from. You and I both know he'll come around."

"I'm not so sure anymore," she replied with a shrug. "And I can't seem to get out of that thought."

"Look, I say this because I love you... It won't be good for either you or the baby if you suddenly spiral into depression because of this."

"I know."

"No matter how this turns out, you have to pull yourself out of the dump and move on," Ginny said intently, handing her the juice carton.

"You're right. You're absolutely right."

Hermione sighed, and knew she had to step it up and keep going, if not for herself then for the baby. She had to brace herself for meeting life, with or without him, no matter how much it hurt.

"Yes, I do tend to be right," Ginny replied with a slight smile.

"Let's do something fun today." She grinned, sipping to her glass of orange juice.

"Do we have time?" her friend asked with a small frown. "We have to get to The Burrow pretty early for dinner, and we have to get ready before that."

"I suppose you're right."

Hermione leaned back in her chair and stretched her arms over her head. "But tomorrow. You and me. Something fun."

"Deal." Ginny smiled, just as they both turned around at a weird musical tune playing in the living room.

Hermione rose carefully from her chair, and peeked around the corner, not understanding where the small melody had come from. She turned with a quizzical expression towards Ginny, who was smiling crookedly.

"Magical floral delivery," she explained, and Hermione raised her eyebrow.

"I've never gotten flowers through any magical floral delivery," she said in confusion. "Come to think of it, I don't think I've received flowers at all in any kind of way."

"Well you seem to have now," Ginny replied with a nudge towards the living room table. 

Hermione frowned at that, and entered the kitchen with slight apprehension. She turned on the lamp beside their sitting group, and gasped at the sight that met her. The flowers were definitely magical. There were two different kinds, one of them moving in a wonderful swirl carrying a light blue colour while the other kind was so pearly white that it nearly shone. Enchanted to swirl around the flowers were tiny, blue sparkling butterflies, looking almost real as they fluttered across the pedals of the flowers. Hermione suddenly noticed a tiny card attached to the stem of one of the pearly white flowers. When she opened it, the swirling calligraphy revealed the writing Happy Birthday, but no sender or no other hints to who it would be.

"There's no name on it," she said in disappointment. "It's so beautiful."

"Hermione, any idiot could guess who those are from," Ginny grinned sheepishly, resting her arm on Hermione's shoulder.

"No…" she said doubtfully. "He would've signed his name, wouldn't he? Or added some other clue, at least."

"Well, who else could it be?" the red-head asked as she bent down to look at the tiny fluttering butterflies.

"I don't know. One of the people from the hospital? Lavender? Another old classmate?" she suggested, but knew it was sort of unrealistic.

"And they wouldn't have signed their name?" Ginny asked with a faint smile. "Anyone who doesn't know you all that well would sign their name. Leaving the message like that suggests a certain level of intimacy."

"Or a crazy stalker." Hermione chuckled.

"Or that, but you haven't heard from any crazy stalker previously, so I think we can rule that out."

"I still don't think it's him," she said quietly.

"No. You know it's him, you just don't want to admit it because of the hopes and expectations it lights in you, and you know how hard you'll take it if they get crushed."

"You know me too well," Hermione commented dryly, and her friend chuckled.

"They're beautiful flowers no matter who sent them," she smiled. "But let's leave them and start getting ready for your big birthday celebration." 

Hermione continued to bicker about the sender of the flowers as they started getting ready for the dinner and party her friends and family were throwing her at The Burrow. It warmed her that they even bothered after how closed up she had been lately, but they just kept reminding her of how amazing they were. She couldn't feel better about the family her daughter would grow up in.

"You know," Hermione called from her bedroom. "You guys need to get going soon, or my daughter will have no friends at school."

"Oh God, you're right," Ginny yelled back in comprehension. "Our kids should go to school together."

"They should, but you know… if people aren't ready to have kids, I can't actually push them just because I want her to go to school with your children."

"True. Maybe Tonks and Remus will get going soon." Ginny laughed.

"You guys still have time, you know. She'll be born around December, so she'll start Hogwarts a year later anyway since she doesn't turn 11 until after September 1st," Hermione told her.

"I think Harry might want a say in this," she commented dryly back. 

"Well, you know... no pressure."

Ginny laughed. "Right."

Hermione got lost in the thought of her child playing with some of her friends' nonexistent children, and stood smiling to herself in the mirror. She had put on a wonderful black dress with a red ribbon tied right under her breasts. From the ribbon the black fabric of the dress flowed out, complimenting her larger figure, and the fall of the fabric made it swirl elegantly around her when she moved. It was just short enough, reaching just above her knees, and she felt nicely made up for her birthday party. Still smiling at her reflection, she did her hair as best as she could, putting some of it up in pins on her head, while letting some flow freely down her back.

"You look smashing." Ginny smiled as she entered her bedroom.

"You look better," she argued. "Less pregnant."

"If you'd listen to everyone, you'd know that pregnant women are more beautiful than anyone else. They have this aura."

"Maybe we send out secret infatuation spells," Hermione said in a whisper, and her friend chuckled at that.

"I wouldn't be surprised."

They got all their things together and Apparated straight to the Burrow, where they were greeted by the Weasleys, with the exception of Fred and George. Harry, Remus and Tonks were also absent at the time, but Hermione knew it was still early.

"Happy birthday, Hermione," Charlie said as he hugged her warmly. "The big twenty two."

"I feel old," she admitted, smiling slightly.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "Don't go there."

She laughed, and accepted both Molly and Arthur's embrace and birthday wishes.

"Fred and George should be here soon," Molly assured her.

"They had some business to attend to," Arthur filled in. "Merlin only knows what that entails."

"I think I prefer not to know," she replied at that, and Molly smiled at her over her shoulder.

"They usually are up to no good, those two," she said, but in an unmistakably fond voice, and Hermione exchanged a warm look with Ginny.

It didn't take long until the twins were in place, hugging her and showering her with wishes and over polite gestures.

"We have a surprise for you," Fred announced happily, and she straightened up with an expectant look on her face.

"But not until later." George winked.

"Not even a tiny hint?" she asked in exasperation, feeling incredibly curious at this new revelation. 

"Well, it'll come with your other presents. And I think you'll like it."

"Those are some bad hints," she said indignantly, but the twins just laughed at her, just as Harry, Tonks and Remus entered the house together.

"Happy birthday, my favourite book nerd," Harry called, and wrapped her into a hug. She chuckled, and returned it warmly, holding onto him tightly. These days always brought forth the longing for the people she no longer had in her life, mainly her parents and Ron, and the appreciation of him being there made her hold on tighter. When she finally let him go, their eyes met and she knew he understood. She gave a quick smile before turning to hug Tonks and Remus.

"Is it time for presents soon? That huge surprise you guys have is killing me," she complained, and the newcomers looked relatively bewildered. "Fred and George have a surprise for me, or so they say."

"Wow, sounds extensive," Tonks commented.

"You'll have to wait, you little impatient princess," George teased. "We're having dinner first, like the adult people we are."

"Oh fine," she said with a large pout, and Fred patted her on the head as he passed by.

Harry and Hermione took a seat together, Ginny taking the other seat next to him, and dinner was served around the large table. The atmosphere was light, and Hermione relaxed for the first time in what felt like ages. Everyone gave the others updates on their lives, telling stories from their jobs and keeping everyone in on any huge events. Hermione told those who didn't know about her meeting with Lavender, but just briefly mentioned running into Draco. She could tell that the others could see that there was more to it than she let on, but they didn't ask.

"We have something else we want to tell you guys." Tonks smiled. "And it's kind of a birthday present for Hermione"

"Oh?" Hermione exclaimed, looking at the woman with her face held in an expectant expression.

"Your daughter is getting a little playmate," Tonks announced, and Hermione squealed in surprise.

"You're joking! Ginny and I were just talking about this," she cried. "Oh, congratulations you guys!"

"You guys must be psychic. Or I guess it's rather Hermione and I who are psychic," Ginny pondered. "Either way, this is absolutely amazing"

"It was well timed. Worst part is it wasn't even planned." Remus chuckled.

"Well, I guess the rest of us have got to hurry up if we want our kids to go to school together." Ginny shrugged and Harry gave her a horrified look. His girlfriend merely chuckled at his expression and patted his arm comfortingly.

"I'm so glad someone else is going to go through those lovely first months now." Hermione grinned, and Tonks gave her an accusing look.

"How sympathetic of you."

"I have few joys in life," she commented with a short laugh.

"Oh I can't wait to have all these children running around," Molly exclaimed as she clapped her hands together.

"All these children?" Fred commented with his eyebrow raised. "My count is still on two."

His mother waved her hand dismissively. "The rest of you will come around soon enough."

Fred nearly choked on his meal at that, and Hermione gave a loud laugh. "Yeah, you're already on your way, aren't you? With that girl from that store?"

He growled in reply, making his twin nudge him and wiggle his eyebrows wildly. The others just laughed, and continued their meals as they ventured into other topics. Soon, everyone had eaten so much they couldn't get down another piece if they tried. Ginny moaned loudly when Harry opened the button of his jeans and fell back into the chair with a large sigh.

"Have you no manners?" she asked in exasperation.

"Gin, I've unbuttoned my jeans after practically every meal I've ever eaten in this house. They've seen it before," he said dryly, and several of the others snickered at that.

"Besides, we're not actually the royal court," Hermione smiled. "Or the Wizengamot."

Ginny sighed heavily at that. "You're all ganging up on me. I just want my boyfriend to keep his pants on."

That triggered another round of laughter, and Harry grinned suggestively at her, making her blush.

"Now, where's the fun in that?" he teased.

"You know what I mean," she bit back, crossing her hands over her chest. He stopped teasing her when he saw her getting defensive, and instead he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer.

She fought him a bit, but when he leaned in and kissed her gently her tense frame softened more with every second the kiss lasted. Hermione watched them with a smile playing on her lips. Harry and Ginny had to be the most harmonious couple she knew. They had always been perfect for each other, and if they fought it was over in a heartbeat, none of them having the heart to stay mad at the other. She still couldn't see why they hadn't moved in together, but she suspected that Ginny had stayed behind to keep her company, which made her feel rather bad. She didn't want to hold them back, but she knew it was Ginny's choice either way.

Hermione watched Ginny smile happily as she pulled away and let her head rest on his shoulder. Smiling at the two, Hermione rested her hand on her stomach, thinking about all of their lives and how they had turned out. For the millionth time she wondered what she would have said in her Fifth Year if someone had told her what the future would look like. It was probably for the better that she never knew, and to be honest she wasn't all too disappointed in how life had turned out. Yes, there were some people she would have done anything to have here at this moment, but those days were gone and her life right now was nothing to detest.

"You know, I think Hermione should get her presents now," George announced. "She's been a big girl all through dinner. In several senses of the word."

"Ha-ha. Yes Hermione is huge," she said, sticking her tongue out, but smiled unwillingly. "But even if getting presents means I have to endure a few insults, I'm in."

"Tsk tsk." Fred smiled as he swooped her up from her chair. "So materialistic."

He led her into the living room of The Burrow where she found a table full of presents from her family.

"Oh, you guys. This is too much," she said in exasperation as the others piled in after her.

"Make your mind up, love. Do you want presents or not?" Harry laughed, throwing his arm around her shoulder and gave her one-armed hug.

"I guess I want them," she admitted with a growl, making them laugh at her apprehension.

They all piled around the table, and began pointing out their presents for her to open. Every one of them made her squeal in glee, and give out generous 'thank you'-hugs. The very most of them were things she needed for the baby, and definitely things she desperately needed no matter how much she had already bought herself.

"You guys are insane," she breathed as she sat in the midst of the presents, looking around in awe.

"And it's not even over yet, remember?" George asked with a mischievous smile.

"Oh, the surprise!" she exclaimed and darted up from the floor.

"Yeah. Go get it. We're just as excited as she is," Ginny ushered.

"Alright, Fred can go get it," George said. "But this particular surprise is dependent on your ability to stay quiet and just listen."

Hermione looked at him in bewilderment, wondering what on earth this could be. Maybe some kind of concert or another.

"Erm, is it some kind of musical show?" she asked George as Fred darted out of the living room.

"I doubt there will be singing. I will be very surprised if there is," he said dryly, clearly suppressing laughter.

"Some kind of theatrical performance?" Tonks tried.

"In a way, I suppose," he answered. "Never really thought of it like that."

"But not exactly like a theatrical performance?"

"No, definitely not," he answered with a crooked smile.

"What else would entail me just listening?" she asked in bewilderment, shaking her head slightly, and looked at the others but no one seemed to be in a more enlightened place.

She watched Fred slip back inside, and raised her eyebrows when he just came to stand next to his twin.

"Remember, be quiet and listen," Fred warned with a faint smile.

"This has either got to be the smallest or the most invisible surprise ever, because I can't see shi—"

Her mouth snapped shut that very second. The heart in her chest started racing so quickly that she thought she would fall backwards, but she managed to balance herself with difficulty by gripping the back of the chair next to her. The warning to be quiet was not at all necessary. She could not have pressed out a sound if she wanted to. Her eyes glued to the floor for a second, unsure of how to process it all. But then they travelled from his shoes, up his dark jeans, his brown sweater and finally up to his pale face, a mane of blond hair falling over his forehead and almost into his grey eyes. His features were etched with worry, and he looked so tired it struck her straight in the chest. He had stopped right inside the door with his hands dug deeply into his pockets, eyeing the lot them rather nervously.

**A/N:** Okey, so it's turning a tad fluffy. Lol. But it's cute, right? Right:P

Thanks for all reviews.

I can't believe it's only 1 chapter and the epilogue left. Sad :(


	29. XXVIII : In Your Face

**XXVIII ; In Your Face**

"Hi," he said lamely.

Then his eyes seemed to really take in her appearance and he straightened up to his full height and took his hands hastily out of his pockets. He gave a quick cough, and she felt for him, standing there in front of them all like a criminal on trial.

"Hermione, I don't even know where to start, but I have to start somewhere," he said, throwing his arms slightly out from his side. "First of all I'm going to stand over here, because I respect what you said the last time… about thinking sensibly and doing the right thing and Merlin knows I can't do that if I stand any closer."

Her lips pulled into a smile at that, and appreciated the effort, but the truth of the matter was that she wanted more than anything to stand so close that no one could ever keep them apart. He gave her a long look that felt penetrating and almost took her breath away.

"Hermione... I'm more sorry than you can ever know. Merlin only knows how I ever thought I could be without you. I had things to figure out, and I guess one of the things I had to learn was how lost I am when you're not around. I know this is all excuses, but I was so afraid I hadn't really changed and that I would be a bad influence or suddenly snap back into old habits for some reason, and I couldn't do that to you," he explained.

"But these months... I don't want to do any of the things I did before. I didn't want to go to any of the old places, meet any of the same people. I wanted to be with you, be a part of your life and your family. To be honest, I've been following you from time to time," he admitted, looking shameful. "Watching you from a distance, forcing myself to see everything I gave up. That's why I was close by when you ran into Lavender. And speaking of that incident... I didn't say those things for the hell of it. I said I was sorry I ran off, and I meant it. And you have to believe me... I didn't just pretend to be the perfect family; I want to be the perfect family. So much I can't think of anything else."

She took a rattling breath, feeling the listening thing grow harder by the second. And if her feet wasn't glued to the floor, she'd run into his arms that instant, though she knew it was probably better for him to finish what he wanted to say.

"I don't even know how to explain everything to make you understand," he said, sighing in exasperation. "Something in me thought I could be without you, that my life could be what it had always been. It had been empty anyway, so why would I care? I don't think I've ever been more wrong in my life. To have a life so empty when I know what it's like to have it all is worse torture than any physical pain my father ever inflicted on me. I need you, I want you...I didn't even know it was even possible to love someone so much... I... For Merlin's sake..."

Hermione could see him looking for the words, and she could formerly see his thoughts swirling around, entwining with each other in a contusive mess. Her job had been to keep quiet, but she was pretty certain that had already been fulfilled, and she just couldn't let him stand there in the silence, looking for the right things to say when he had already said way more than he ever needed to say.

"Can I tell you a secret?" she asked, biting her lower lip slightly as she watched him nod. "I like it when you stand so close I can't think straight. And when you tuck my hair behind my ear or run your finger over my nose to distract me."

He looked at her with an uncertain expression, obviously unsure of the intentions of her statement. She smiled at his doubt, wondering slightly how he could even question her intentions.

"I never wanted you to stand all the way over there," she admitted, and was almost surprised by how quickly he had managed to get to her.

Within seconds he stood so close she had to bend her head slightly backwards to catch his eyes. The breath caught in her throat as she could feel the heat from him, and she knew he was only inches away from her touch. It felt unreal to be standing there after all those days of wanting and longing, and at times crying herself to sleep because of what she missed so much.

He gave an affectionate smile as his hand came to rest on her cheek. The simple gesture alone made her weak in the knees, and when his thumb reached down and followed the contour of her lips with a slow movement she felt herself quiver. She knew he noticed her reaction when his lips pulled into a satisfied smile. 

"Be with me forever," he whispered, and his smile was replaced by an intense expression.

"What?" she asked in shock, almost forgetting to breath.

"Marry me," he said intensely.

Her mouth fell open in the complete bewilderment, and she looked for any sign of amusement or teasing, but there was nothing but intense emotion to be found in his features. When their eyes met, the softness in his made tears well up in her own, falling mercilessly down onto her cheek.

"Yes," she said, sounding as if she had no air left in her body at all. "Yes."

She couldn't take being so close, but yet so far, and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. Her head came to rest on his chest, and he answered by coiling his own arms around her. His right hand stroked her hair softly, and he squeezed her tighter as he rested his chin on her head.

"Forever?" she suddenly asked, the sound muffled against his shirt. She felt the muscles on his back flex as he moved his hand up and down her back.

"Forever," he promised in a whisper.

It was odd. The word forever had scared her senseless some years ago, and now it threw every weight off her shoulders and she felt so she relieved she almost laughed out loud. Instead, she continued to hold on to him for her life, wondering if this was another one of life's cruel tricks or if it was for real. 

"Love, are you okay?" he asked when she had clung to him for ages without a word. She just nodded against his chest, enjoying the feel of his pulse and the slight vibration when he spoke. "I won't disappear if you let me go."

She chuckled at that, but still didn't want to lose the feel of him yet. He was so close. As close as she had wanted him to be for months.

"Listen," he began, and backed away from her just enough to cup her face in his hands and force her to look at him. "We're going to get married. We're having our baby. I wouldn't run again for anything in the world. You're stuck with me for a long, long, long time."

She sniffed, a bit frustrated by the tears, and let his words warm her up from the inside out. They slowly began to make sense in her head, and all her nagging doubt got mercilessly pushed out as she realised everything she had wanted was coming true. Her lips stretched into a wide smile and he chuckled warmly.

"This is still a birthday party, you know," he reminded her with a crooked grin, and her eyes grew bigger.

"Oh shit," she exclaimed, and the laughter that rang through the room reminded her of the other occupants. 

Hermione reluctantly let her hands fall from his waist, and turned towards the others, who were, to her surprise, smiling happily at her. She smiled back at them so widely she thought her cheeks would split in half. Ginny was the first to fall for the urge to squeal, and she darted forwards to wrap Hermione in a hug.

"See, honey, I said everything would work out," she said in a low voice, and Hermione held her tighter.

"Thank you."

The rest offered their congratulations as well, and Hermione turned to Fred and George who were standing on the sidelines.

"Thank you guys," she said gratefully. "I really appreciate it."

They gave her a large hug, before smiling widely at them.

"Anything for you, Hermione," George announced.

"We could tell you've been miserable no matter how badly you tried to hide it at first. This last week is another story, I suppose," Fred said. "Didn't really try to hide it at all."

She looked remorseful, and smiled crookedly when Draco gave her a quizzical look. He accepted a Butterbeer from Harry, but kept watching her questioningly.

"I'm sorry about that," she replied, pulling a slight grimace.

"We understand," Fred assured her. "Draco was pretty bent out of shape after you left too. I had to stop him from hitting himself to a bloody pulp."

Hermione's eyes shot to Draco with concern at that, and he gave Fred a sour glance, but the Weasley twin just laughed.

"And then he went crazy on this kid, who was apparently in Slytherin and all up and mighty about pureblood," George filled in.

"Draco," she said carefully. "Isn't that a bit hypocr—"

She snapped her mouth shut when he gave her a dark look, and she lay the matter to rest, actually feeling a bit touched that he felt so strongly about that now.

"Point is he was in a state," Fred commented. "When he asked for help, we couldn't turn him down. Our hearts are too soft. And even after we begun helping him, he was in such a nervous jitter that we nearly gave up on him."

Hermione turned towards him with a soft expression on her face, but he almost looked a bit ashamed. She couldn't really understand why, because the fact that he had missed her and been that desperate to get her back made her heart sing. Smiling slightly, she slid her hand into his, moving her thumb lightly back and forth over his.

"Hermione hasn't been any better," Ginny revealed, earning her a warning look.

Draco looked intrigued at that, but she really didn't want to think about it much at all. She grimaced slightly, but Ginny just overlooked her.

"She's been moping around eating crisps all week, and she's slept in his t-shirt every night," she commented with a slight smile. "In fact, she usually never bothered to get dressed and just walked around in it all day. But I think it kind of lost its appeal in the end since it went from smelling like him to smelling like salt and pepper chips."

"His t-shirt fit you?" Fred asked incredulously.

"Yes, it fit me," she bit, sticking her chin out defensively, and missed the look Draco shot her.

She did not, however, miss the squeeze he gave her hand, and she turned around to find him looking down on her with an expression in his eyes that she couldn't quite interpret. She gazed right back into them, and gave a small smile.

"Sorry for ratting you out," Ginny said, but didn't sound too sorry. And Hermione was secretly grateful. First of all, she hadn't mentioned her crying session, and second of all... at least this reminded Draco this was a two-way deal.

"Sure you are," she replied dryly, but continued to smile, and she could tell Ginny knew she had done no harm.

"She really does look cute in your shirt, though." Ginny winked and gave him a slight nudge.

"I can imagine," he replied in an indefinable tone.

_Oh, so that's what he was doing_. Her eyebrow rose challengingly, as she watched him bite his lip slightly.

"Stop it." She laughed and hit him playfully on the shoulder.

"Make me," he replied mischievously.

She took him up on it, and had placed her hands on his waist before he could react. She ran them over his stomach, tickling him everywhere she knew he was vulnerable, and he began laughed hysterically under her trained touch. He tried to fight her off, but she wasn't as easy to lift off the grown anymore, and he began gasping for breath in between laughing fits.

"Oh Merlin, okay... you win," he gasped, and let out a breath in relief as she let him go.

She grinned in satisfaction, and rubbed her stomach as she had grown a habit of doing. His eyes followed her hands, and they remained locked on the stomach hidden under the black fabric of her dress. She watched his face as the expression changed into a kind of wonder and softness, making her heart beat oddly in her chest. Reluctantly, she tore her eyes away from him, but kept a firm hold on his hand and lead him up to Molly, Arthur and Charlie. They were located by the fireplace, wrapped in a discussion.

"Have I thanked you enough for the presents?" she asked. "Thank you. Thank you."

"Dear, you've already thanked us a hundred times." Molly laughed. "It was our pleasure."

"It's nice to see you happy again," Charlie commented with a slight smile. "Even if our presents aren't that huge of a part in it."

"Oh they have a part in it." She smiled. "It was all things I needed, and it lifted a weight off of my shoulders to not have to worry about them."

"Yeah, but this one has most of the credit, I believe," Charlie replied with a crooked grin and held out his hand. "Congratulations, mate."

Draco let go of her hand to grab Charlie's, and he gave a small bow of the head.

"Just take care of her, will you," he said sternly. "This girl is the real thing."

"Look at you being all big brother." She chuckled, and he reached out to ruffle her hair.

Hermione gave a slight squeal as his hand sent her hair into strange proportions. She tried to hit him, but he was too quick for her and had moved out of reach before she reacted. He laughed as she put up a displeased expression, her hair sticking out at odd angles on her head. She began laughing too, and leaned in to give him a hug.

"I appreciate having big brothers," she admitted. "Being an only child gets lonely."

"There's no such thing as an only child in the Weasley family." Charlie chuckled, rubbing her back firmly as he hugged her back.

"Thanks for the wonderful party, Molly." She smiled when he let her go, and she hugged the two older Weasleys in turn.

"You know what, Hermione..." Ginny suddenly said and wrapped her arm around her shoulders. "I think you should leave now, don't you?"

"You want me gone that badly?" she asked teasingly.

"You know what I mean," her friend replied with a roll of the eyes. "I thought I'd go home with Harry tonight."

"Really," Hermione commented with a crooked smile.

"Look, you just got engaged, if I'm not mistaken. Go home." Ginny laughed. "The Weasleys will be here for a long time. You won't miss out on anything."

"But it's my birthday party," she protested, giving the others an apprehensive glance. The truth was she wanted to go home more than anything, but they had made this for her. She couldn't just run off.

"Hermione dear." Molly smiled. "Go home with Draco. You have a lot to talk about."

"If you're certain..." Hermione said apprehensively.

"Yes," everyone around her said in unison, and she snickered quietly.

"Oh, alright, we'll go," she said in exasperation. "Thanks everyone, it's been a great day."

Remus gave her a pat on the shoulder, before he went over to the large pile of presents and flicked his wand. In a second it was gone.

"Sent your presents ahead," he announced with a smile.

"Always so thoughtful, Remus." She grinned. "You'll be a great dad."

Draco lifted his eyebrow at that, while Remus beamed at her.

"Thank you, Hermione."

She grinned, and coiled her arm around Draco's waist. "Let's go."

He looked down at her with a large smile as he wrapped his arm around her, and they waved at the room, before giving a synchronised twirl. Seconds later, her apartment materialised around them, and the pile of presents rested neatly on the floor by her bookshelves. She turned around and faced him, taking in his appearance with a hungry expression.

"Hey." She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. He smiled back and put his arms around her waist, holding her close. "I can't believe you're really here."

"I can't believe it either," he muttered, looking down into her face. She was smiling widely, her eyes shining against him. "I thought I would never get to hold you again."

"You look worried," she said with her head inclined, wondering suddenly if he regretted the entire thing.

"It's just that... we were supposed to live here together," he replied. "Think of all the years we could have had here. Happily together."

"You know what I think?"

He shook his head, and looked more troubled than she cared for. She rested her hand on his cheek, and smiled reassuringly.

"I think all the time apart has taught us just how much we mean to each other," she told him. "If we had lived together here, without any worries or challenges... we would probably have begun arguing over trivial things, forgetting what really mattered." 

He inclined his head at that, watching her with uncertainty.

"The more time I spent apart from you, the more certain I was that I wanted to be with you forever," she said in a hushed voice. "The more you were gone, the more I wanted you with me. Missing you made me realise just how much it meant and means to me to have you in my life."

"Does that mean you want to spend more time apart?" he teased, and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Not in a million years," she said firmly, and he chuckled warmly.

"Then I have good news because you don't have to."

She beamed at that, enjoying the way her body reacted to his presence. It was almost too good to be true, being here with him without being afraid that he would run off. He was going to stay and she couldn't be happier. There was no way she could even express how it felt to finally know he was there for real.

"You know…" she said, coiling her arms securely around his neck again. "We still haven't kissed yet. And it's making me a bit frustrated."

He chuckled before cupping her face in his hands, and she felt his thumb run over her lips again, sending shivers through her. She watched eagerly as he closed the distance and she could feel his breath against her lips. But instead of closing the distance completely he stopped so closely they nearly touched, but all she could feel was his breath against her lips. She parted her lips in expectation, tensing as she waited impatiently for him to move the last agonizing bit. When their lips finally touched, it was as though she was kissing him for the first time. Emotions exploded inside her, and she pressed closer and for the first time cursed her stomach for being as big as it was. She ran her hand through his hair as her lips grew more demanding, feeding on the connection between them.

When they eventually broke apart, he smiled warmly, before grabbing her by the hand. She let herself be lead over to the couch where he sprawled out in the corner between the back and the armrest, and she lowered herself down next to him with slight difficulty. She swung her feet up on the couch and leaned against him as he put his arm around her. His arm coiled around her back, and his hand came to rest on her stomach.

"I want to see this thing work its magic," he commented and gestured with his free hand against the TV.

Hermione chuckled and reached for the remote lying on the table in front of her. She held her hand out and clicked the TV on, before she began swapping between channels with an intent look on her face. Draco's eyes darted between her and the TV, looking completely baffled. She rested the remote on her thigh when she found what she wanted, and snuggled up against his chest.

"Okay, so what exactly is this?" he asked in confusion.

"This is a comedy TV-show," she told him in amusement.

"And what's a TV-show?"

She chuckled at how the simplest Muggle thing had to be explained. 

"Actors act out a script written in advance. It's to resemble a real life situation, at least to a certain extent," she explained. "This show is called Seinfeld."

Draco didn't answer at that, but his eyes remained glued to the TV-screen with a look of excitement in his eyes. Hermione ended up chuckling just as much over his reactions than at the show itself. He laughed heartily at any funny moment, his expression almost that of an excited little boy on Christmas. Grinning in amusement, she leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. He turned and looked at her in surprise, giving her a crooked smile.

"What was that for?" he asked quizzically.

She gave a slight shrug. "Because you're cute."

He gave a short chuckle and pressed his lips to her forehead before he turned his attention to the screen in front of them. Hermione felt his chest vibrate as he laughed, and wondered when life had decided to let things work out. It seemed to have been hell-bent on keeping them apart some way or another, until now, and it was almost too good to be true. But she had to believe it would last. She couldn't walk around thinking some horrible twist would tear them apart again. If she walked around waiting for the day they'd be thrown apart, she would go crazy.

She was nudged out of her thoughts by the feeling of being watched. When she carefully rose her head, she found him looking at her with a soft expression. She didn't say anything. All she did was smile, something she couldn't seem to stop doing. His finger began drawing small circles on the side of her stomach.

"I like the name Elaine," he muttered.

"Yeah me too. It's cute," she agreed. "But I don't know if it feels right."

"I also like Elizabeth," he pondered. "And Tallulah."

Hermione gave a violent snort and eyed him incredulously.

"You're joking."

"I am not," he answered indignantly and lifted his chin.

"We're not naming the poor child Tallulah," she said, unable to keep the laughter from her voice.

"But it means royalty. It's majestic," he argued, and she gave him a playful slap across the chest.

"I wouldn't care if it meant 'I love you to death, Hermione'. I still wouldn't make her live with that name for the rest of her life."

"You wouldn't mind that, would you, love?" he then said, his eyes aimed at her stomach. "You would love to be called Tallulah. I just know it."

"Oh God." She laughed, but still felt a warm feeling spread in her chest.

"Alright, no Tallulah." He chuckled. "Bindy?"

"Bindy?" she cried and laughed loudly. "I think you've lost your mind."

"I'll stop," he promised with an amused glance at her horror-stricken face. He reached up to stroke her hair away from her eyes.

"I like this," he then said.

"I like this too." She smiled, and gripped his hand in hers. She entwined her fingers with his and watched their joined hands with something that resembled wonder.

"So what else does this box of yours hold?" he asked taking the remote from its place on her thigh. He looked at it with his eyebrows raised, obviously at an end as to how it worked. She took it gently from his hand and began to flip through the channels again.

"Wonderful," he exclaimed in glee, and she snickered.

----

Draco nodded quickly to Tom, the barman of the Leaky Cauldron as they entered. Tom looked up at them with a slightly baffled expression. 

"Mr. Malfoy," he said in surprise. "Very nice to see you, Sir. Do you need a room?"

"Ah, no," Draco said slowly. "Just passing through today."

He turned to Hermione with a slight smile, and grabbed her hand as they passed the few guests who were enjoying their drinks. She sent Tom a smile before letting Draco lead her outside to the entrance to Diagon Alley.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked carefully.

"If we're going to get married, we'll have to face people sometime," she replied smartly, and he gave a displeased grunt at that.

"I don't like people," he growled, and she laughed heartily as she elbowed him softly.

"We're bound to meet some acquaintances today. Be nice," she commanded.

He turned and gave her a pleading look. "Oh no. Not nice. Anything but nice."

"You git," she snickered, and reached out to tap the right bricks. Within seconds the wall had retracted, and the impressive sight of Diagon Alley was revealed. 

It was, as always, filled to the brim with busy wizards and witches running their respective errands. The two of them stepped onto the busy street, but strolled slowly in the midst of the somewhat rushed crowd. Hermione gripped his hand harder as she recognised several faces in the crowd, and was calmed by his confident presence. Eventually she began relaxing in the chilly autumn air, knowing she was living the life she had wanted for herself for the longest time.

"Oh. Flourish and Blotts," she exclaimed excitedly and tugged on the hand she was holding. 

"You want to go to a bookstore?" he asked with a slight grimace. "How can that be?"

She stuck her tongue out, and he followed her inside chuckling madly at his own wit. Hermione felt her heart race at the sight of all the books she had yet to read as she moved along the isles. Draco had disappeared in the opposite direction inside the store to look at the Quidditch book section, but she stood glued to the Magical History isle, not quite managing to hold her tongue inside her mouth. She found herself almost drooling over the copies of Ancient Wizardry and its Most Important Contributors, and ripped herself reluctantly away from it.

As she rounded the isle, she nearly ran into his tall figure, and he closed his arms around her shoulders to keep them from colliding. 

"That's definitely enough excitement for one day," he commented.

"I can't leave yet," she protested, but he turned her around and pushed her towards the door.

"Your cheeks are flushed and your eyes are twinkling so brightly that if I didn't know any better I'd have thought you just met your secret lover behind that bookshelf."

"How do you know I didn't?" she teased, and slipped her hand back into his as they again found themselves out in the crowded street.

He gave her stern look, but the expression cracked when his lips twitched into a half smile. 

"Look, I was looking at our favourite book..." he began, and she looked up at him eagerly.

"The Wizard of the Wise and the life of Alexis?" she asked, even if she knew the answer. He nodded absently.

"What do you think of Alexis?" he then asked, and she perched her lips thoughtfully together.

"Well, she's definitely a powerful witch, even if she has certain issues with..."

"I know how you feel about the character." He laughed. "I mean the name."

She stopped suddenly in her tracks, and he turned when he felt her hand hold him back. His grey eyes looked at her in bewilderment as she remained standing in the same spot.

"Draco, that's perfect," she beamed, her face lighting up. "Absolutely perfect."

"Really?" he asked with his eyebrows raised in surprise. "Never thought I would be the one to come up with the name."

She suddenly began moving again, and he got dragged along by the hand. Turning towards him, she walked backwards as a dreamy look sprung across her face. 

"Alexis Malfoy." She smiled. "It's so perfect."

"Alexis Granger Malfoy," he reminded her with a crooked smile.

Hermione's eyes watered at that, making her fiancé sigh slightly.

"Oh, sweetie."

"I know, I know," she cried. "Hormones are the worst."

She clapped her free hand over her misty eyes, and he chuckled quietly. Shaking his head, he tried to tug on the hand she shielded her eyes with, but she just gave an odd sound.

"Hermione, you're walking backwards with your hand clutched over your eyes..." he commented dryly. "I know I'm not a Healer, but at least I know seeing is an important part of the art of walking."

She groaned and turned her back to him again as she dried her tears. He came up beside her again, and they walked side by side until the display window at Madam Malkin's caught her eyes.

"Oh," she exclaimed. "She's going to need tiny robes."

Her eyes sparkled as she turned towards him, and he was immediately touched by how happy she was. His lips pulled into a wide smile, and he bent over to kiss her gently on top of her head.

"Parvati, I told you I didn't need to be checked into a mental facility!" someone suddenly shouted from behind them.

Hermione automatically gripped his hand tighter, and he gave it a comforting squeeze as they turned around.

"What are you on about?" another woman said in exasperation.

"I told you about Hermione, and you said I needed to get my head checked," Hermione's former room mate at Hogwarts shrieked, and she gestured against the couple. "Well, guess again!"

Hermione glanced over at Draco and found him shaking slightly with suppressed laughter. The woman next to Lavender looked at her friend in a puzzled manner before letting her eyes follow the way the hand gesture suggested. Her mouth fell instantly open as she took in the situation before her, and her eyes quickly began darting between Lavender and the two of them.

Lavender grabbed the horrified Parvati by the elbow, and led her over to them in a few long steps.

"See," Lavender said triumphantly. "I told you I hadn't gone crazy."

Draco could no longer keep his amusement to himself and gave a bark like laugh, making Parvati jump in surprise.

"If this is some kind of joke you've pulled together, Lav, it's not funny," her friend said breathlessly.

"It's not a joke," Hermione assured her with a slight smile.

"So you two are actually...?"

"Yes, Hermione is my new Muggle-born slave, which does include a few nice perks."

"Draco, I distinctively remember that I told you to be nice," she chastised with a badly hidden smile.

"But nice is no fun," he pouted, and she used her free hand to give him weak punch to the shoulder.

"What my dear fiancé was trying to say…" Hermione said with force. "Is that yes, we are actually... yeah."

"Very eloquently put," he stated dryly. "I like my version better."

"So you're going to tell all my friends that I'm your slave?" she asked with her eyebrows raised. 

"That or that you're the light of my life," he said lightly. "Either way is good."

He gave the two women in front of them a dazzling smile as he let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her waist instead.

"I can live with the latter one." She smiled, and he put up a smug look.

"Somehow I knew you would," he smirked, and kissed her quickly on the cheek. 

"See, I said they were cute," Lavender exclaimed, turned towards her friend.

"I... think the world has gone mad," Parvati stuttered, watching them with large eyes.

"So you're getting married?" Lavender asked in excitement.

"Yeah we are," she answered happily. "Some time after little Alexis has made her appearance."

"I would rather see it happen right now," Draco told them, looking slightly exasperated. "But Hermione keeps insisting that she wouldn't fit into any dresses, and even if she did she doesn't want to be pregnant in her wedding picture."

The two girls chuckled and nodded in comprehension, but Draco himself rolled his eyes.

"I keep telling her she looks amazing, but she won't budge."

"And I appreciate that," Hermione said warmly. "But you're not the one who is three times your normal size."

"I could enchant myself to become three times my normal size," he suggested hopefully. "You know… in solidarity."

The women laughed genuinely at that, and Hermione leaned her head onto his shoulder for a quick moment.

"I think we'll just stick to waiting until the beginning of next year," she said quickly, and he huffed in annoyance, but the smile on his lips remained.

"Be sure to invite us," Lavender said with an excited smile. "I wouldn't miss this for the world."

"I probably won't believe this until I actually see you guys getting married," her friend muttered, still sounding oddly breathless.

"The growing stomach isn't proof enough?" Draco asked, once again finding it difficult to hide his amusement.

"I keep thinking it might be an optical illusion of some sort," she commented, and Hermione gave an appreciative chuckle.

"Tell that to the horrible morning sickness, or rather all-day sickness, I had to endure.!

Lavender gave a small smile at that before coiling her arm around Parvati's.

"I need to get Parvati some potions to recover from the shock," she snickered. "But nice to see you guys. I hope you meet some other old school mates you can scare the wits out of."

Draco beamed at that, and gave a small bounce on his feet.

"I hope so too. Personally, I'm hoping for Millicent Bulstrode. She'll faint," he said in disturbing glee. Hermione shot him a stern look.

"What? She will," he replied in an innocent tone.

"You're not actually hoping people will faint?" she asked in a scandalised voice.

"Of course I am," he answered easily. "Imagine how funny it would look."

"You can be such a Slytherin," Hermione accused, knitting her brows into a frown.

"My love... have you been that dazzled by my amazing physique and fantastic hair for the past four years?"

She narrowed her eyes into a threatening gaze, but he just smirked widely at her annoyance. Keeping his mischievous smirk he reached up and ruffled her already frizzy hair.

"I'm so sorry," Hermione apologised in a horrified tone to her friends, but to her surprise both of them were chuckling madly.

"Don't be silly," Lavender replied, still chuckling at the two of them, before she dragged Parvati off with her. "I'll be expecting wedding invitations," she called with her back turned to them as they departed.

"Well, that went surprisingly well," Draco beamed as Hermione began walking without even giving him a short glance.

"You told them I was your slave," she said accusingly. "I don't call that 'well'."

"Oh, light up," he smirked. "It was a joke. An ice-breaker, if you will."

"I told you to be nice," she huffed, snatching her hand out of his.

"I was nice," he protested, struggling to keep up with her angry stride. "They thought we were just cute. Come on."

"I just don't want to give people the wrong idea." She sighed, and kept up her fast pace even if she didn't know where she was going.

"I'm not going to stop being myself just because some people might take it the wrong way," he said intently. "Besides, they knew I was just joking, and if people didn't know, then they're idiots."

She didn't reply, but knew he was completely right and she was being utterly unreasonable. Before she could process the bitter taste of being wrong, he had rounded on her and was now blocking her path. She nearly walked into him before he clutched his hands around her upper arms and bent down slightly to look into her sour face.

"You can't stay mad at me," he teased, and put up his most innocent expression. She looked at his large grey eyes, his raised eyebrows and slightly pouting lips, and sighed heavily. The longer her eyes rested on him, the more her expression softened. Damn him.

He could feel her relent and broke into a warm laugh as his arms reached around her.

"I'm sorry," she muttered a bit reluctantly as the warm embrace broke her down even further. "I don't want you to pretend to be someone you're not."

"Just relax, Hermione," he said against her hair. "I don't think people judge this as badly as we might have feared. And even if they did, we can't do anything but be ourselves anyway."

"I know."

"So don't worry so much," he said quietly. "I don't want you to worry. I want you to be happy."

She released herself slightly from his firm grip and looked up at him with a thoughtful expression.

"I am happy," she replied softly. "In fact... I've never been happier."

He grinned widely and moved his hands up to flatten the hair he had ruffled up earlier. When he released his hold on her and gripped her hand again as they began walking, she noticed he was still wearing a large grin. She gave his hand a squeeze, and inclined her head as he turned to look at her.

"What are you grinning about?" she asked with a crooked smile.

"I'm happy," he replied simply. "I'm happy. You're happy. We're amazingly happy. In your face, life. In your face."

She swung her head back in an appreciative laugh as they continued down Diagon Alley together, their hands entwined for the world to see.

**A/N:** RAH, I can believe I just posted the last chapter and I only have an epilogue to go! I don't want it to end :(

The epilogue will be up tomorrow. Thanks for all reviews on the last chapter and I'd love to hear what you thought of the ending.


	30. Epilogue : A Simple Smile

**A/N:** Okey, I have to say this first: **Major** fluff warning. You may call me Fluffy McFluffy.

**Epilogue ;** **A Simple Smile**

Hermione heard her husband run across the floor behind her chair chuckling madly. She gave Ginny a horrified glance, and turned around looking flustered.

"Draco Malfoy!" she cried. "Tell me you did not hide Alexis from me again. I barely found her before we had to leave the last time we were here."

He just looked up at her with a crooked grin, and she noticed he was dragging his right foot heavily across the floor. Hermione broke into a reluctant smile as she saw a small girl wrapped around his leg, refusing to let go. Her dark brown curls bounced as he dragged her with him across the floor, and the thin, childish laugh rang through The Burrow's living room. Hermione felt someone thug on her dress, and she turned to find her little boy looking up at her with an expectant expression. His tiny fist clutched a sheet of parchment, filled with childish scribbles of colour enchanted to move slowly around it.

"For me?" she asked with a large smile. He nodded quickly, and she hoisted him up in her lap. "Thank you so much. It's very pretty."

Ginny bent forwards and glanced into the kitchen.

"I think Mum and Harry are entertaining all the children with drawing," she mused. "And if I'm not mistaken, all the children are doing way better than Harry."

Hermione laughed heartily at the comment, and turned to find Draco struggling to get Alexis to let go off of his leg. He finally unclenched her small fingers and lifted her up on his arm with a sound of faked exhaustion. His five year old daughter giggled happily, and peered down at the floor.

"It's tall," she proclaimed, and he nodded in a serious manner.

"It is. I've always been happy I'm not afraid of heights," he replied, disguising his smile.

"Look what Jack made," Hermione broke in, holding up the colourful piece of parchment. Draco leaned in, careful to keep Alexis in place.

"Oh my, an artistic masterpiece." He grinned, patting his son's dirty-blond head. "Let's go make a whole batch for Mummy. We can throw away all her clothes and hang the paintings in her closet."

Hermione rose her eyebrow at him as he chuckled, but let Jack slide off of her lap without any protests. He gripped the tiny hand in his and walked slowly towards the kitchen as he spoke quietly with the two smaller Malfoys. She watched with a smile as they joined the others in the kitchen, probably creating so much havoc that even Fred and George would be proud.

Christmas at The Burrow certainly wasn't a very calm affair anymore. Like Molly had predicted, her children had "come around soon enough," and what started with Alexis Granger Malfoy and Sirius Lupin had soon multiplied into a severely larger number.

"I should probably get in there," Ginny said, sounding slightly concerned. She gave Hermione and apologetic glance, but Hermione rose from the couch at the same time.

"To check on the kids?"

"No, I was thinking more… to check on Harry," Ginny snickered, and the two women piled into the already crowded kitchen.

The sight was quite astounding, to be honest. In the midst of the room stood Mrs. Weasley, beaming like the sun on a cloudless morning, undoubtedly in her right element. Around her, all the children were seated or held by a proud parent, all of them chattering loudly as they coloured their parchments eagerly. Harry stood by the far end of the table, holding his five month old daughter in his tight grip, at the same time as he tried his best to help out little James Potter. His oldest daughter was drawing happily on her own, her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth.

Hermione stood still for a moment, taking in the picture-perfect scene. Her eyes caught the back of a particularly blond head and she walked over to rest her hands on his shoulders. She peered carefully over his shoulder and put up a questioning look.

"What's that supposed to be?" she asked with a crooked smile.

"That... is a portrait of the love of my life," he proclaimed proudly, and she leaned in closer, leaning her cheek against his.

"The love of your life is a mop?" she asked incredulously, squinting slightly to see if the crooked lines on the parchment made any more sense. They didn't.

"It's not a mop," he replied indignantly. "It's you."

Harry and the twins burst out in hysterical laughter, and Fred had to lean himself against the table as he wheezed uncomfortably.

"Oh, George," he exclaimed. "Isn't it just wonderful when you end up offending yourself as much as the one you intended to burn."

"Classic," his twin replied gleefully.

Hermione just shook her head in disbelief, still with her arms wrapped around him.

"Guess what," Ginny finally exclaimed as Molly had turned from the table to start dinner.

"What?" Harry asked in a suspicious voice, obviously expecting something entirely displeasing.

"It's time for the Weasley Annual Christmas Eve Quidditch Match." She grinned, darting up from her chair.

"Finally," he exclaimed, and before Hermione knew what had hit her, the five month old child was in her hands, and every Weasley (including the wives), plus Harry and Draco had gotten up from their chairs.

She turned to the frighteningly large horde of children sitting by the kitchen table.

"I say we go out and watch." She smiled, but her smile quickly fell when all of them ran whooping towards the entrance, and she realised just how many children she had to dress. Luckily, Tonks and Remus were still around to help out.

In something of a miracle, they managed to get them all ready, and piled out the front door. The smallest children kept close to them, while the older ones ran off on their own with gleeful screams as they came out in the snow. Hermione pointed out the flying figures above, and several of the children stared mesmerized at the quick play.

She ended up keeping one eye on the Quidditch match (with too many players on each team, but who really cared) as she kept the kids occupied. Whenever Arthur yelled out a new score, she'd look up and cheer for whichever team had scored. When Draco started giving her rather vile looks for cheering for the other team, she stuck her tongue out and cheered even louder. As Draco and Harry's competing to find the snitch grew fiercer, she found herself watching more intently. The baby seat with the little Potter gurgling happily (or was it unhappily?) rested beside her as Alexis and Sirius ran around in a game of tag, somewhat incapacitated by the snow.

Just as Hermione felt herself growing colder and colder at an alarming rate, the game ended abruptly as Harry reached his hand victoriously over his head with a loud cry. His team mates beamed and surrounded him, celebrating their victory. Hermione cheered for the team that won, as they began piling back towards the house. Ginny came over to her and picked up the baby seat with a big smile on her face, making a playful grimace towards the little baby resting in it.

"Way to go, Harry," Hermione congratulated as he came up, and she rubbed his back quickly. He gave a big grin back, before huffing at the sight of all the children.

"How the hell am I going to find my kids in all this mess," he commented incredulously. "Wrapped up in their cloaks, hats and scarves they all look alike."

Hermione laughed. "I don't know. Just take one with you and go inside. If we take the wrong ones we'll just swap back."

He chuckled, and turned around with a confused expression.

"Good game, though." She winked, but her expression changed once her gaze fell upon her sulking husband.

Draco stood a little bit away, looking defeated and annoyed, his foot kicking the snow off the ground below. She gave a small laugh as she headed towards him.

"Aw, honey," she said, trying to keep back a smile when he only stared at the ground.

"Am I ever going to get that Snitch before Potter?" he drawled in a sulky voice, and she coiled an arm around his waist as he leaned his head onto her shoulder.

"Next year, sweetie." She smiled. "Next year."

He just huffed, and she nearly had to laugh at how much of a sore loser he was. It was the same thing every year, really, and she hoped he would win one soon or he would probably spiral into depression.

"I hate losing," he growled.

"You played a great game, though," she soothed, running her hand over his hair.

She led him slowly up to the rest, who were now gathering up the children, and she gave Ginny a crooked smile over Draco's head.

"Cheer up, mate." Harry laughed, and gave Draco's shoulder a quick pat. "There's always next year."

Draco didn't answer, and Hermione chuckled at his sour expression. He looked up at her rather indignantly, but she just ignored him and looked around for their children instead. Soon she found Alexis's brown curls bouncing against her shoulders as she skipped happily after Sirius and Tonks back towards the house. Jack was clutching Harry's hand, and she knew the others would get them safely inside.

She rounded on Draco and slipped her arms around his neck.

"You're still my favourite Seeker," she tried, and chuckled when she saw his lips pull into a reluctant smile.

"Anything I can do to make you feel better?" she asked with a suggestive raise of her eyebrows, and with that his smile widened into a mischievous smirk.

She pulled him closer and put her lips to his, smiling against his lips when he wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her off the ground for a moment. She got lost in the feel of the kiss, and thought for the millionth time how lucky she was to have him in her life. The three years apart had not left her mind, and every day she woke up to find him waiting to spend another day with her was a day she cherished.

"You're cold," he said softly, his face a mere inch from hers. He kissed the tip of her flaming red nose, sending a shiver through her. Whether from the cold or from him, she couldn't really tell.

She nodded in confirmation and let him wrap her into his strong arms.

"Let's go back inside," he suggested. "I like the quiet, but not if the cost is you freezing to death."

"I like the quiet too." She smiled as they walked up towards The Burrow with their arms wrapped around each other. "Maybe Molly would be willing to have the kids for a day or two soon. We could take an entire weekend off work."

She lit up at the thought and turned her head to face him. "We can go to a nice restaurant, or just make a great dinner at home. We can go for quiet walks and watch films that don't involve that lost fish, Nemo."

He gave a chuckle, and tightened the grip around her shoulders for a quick second. "Or we could just stay in bed..."

She gave him a stern look, but was betrayed by the uncharacteristic giggle that slipped across her lips. He raised his eyebrow at that, but she was saved from any further inquiries as they reached the front door. Soon, they were seated at the large dinner table, partially eating and partially making sure their darling children didn't look like they wore the food instead of eating it.

Hermione watched as Harry retold his capture of the Snitch once again, noticing that Draco's sour mood had faltered away completely, as it always did. Instead of sulking, he grabbed Harry's hand and reminded him that he should watch out next Christmas, if not already during summer. The two began bickering, arguing over how many times Draco had actually caught the Snitch when they had played each other.

"You were more occupied with thinking up grand schemes," Fred commented dryly. "Like the time you dressed up as a Dementor."

Draco gave a crooked smile at that, pulling his shoulders into a shrug. "Sorry about that, mate."

"Forgotten a long time ago," Harry said with a dismissive hand gesture.

Hermione found herself grinning at them as they continued to bicker, and she realised Draco had finally become a part of what she had always wanted him to be apart of. He was as much a part of this family as she was now, and it was something she hadn't been completely certain would ever happen at all. She watched him pass Ginny the gravy with a silly bow, reminding her so much of the twins that she could hardly keep from laughing. The twins, however, had not kept back their appreciative laugh as they asked when he had perfected that particular piece of fine bowing.

She shook her head in amusement and turned to her own food for a precious second before Alexis dropped a piece of potato down in her lap. Reassuring her daughter that it would be okay, she cleaned her dress with a simple spell and gave her back the fork she had dropped in the process.

"What are you grinning about?" Draco suddenly asked with a small smile from her other side.

"You," she answered truthfully. He grinned back, and kept his eyes locked on her as she took a bite of her own food.

"Me," he repeated with a raised eyebrow.

"You," she confirmed. She leaned in and rested her head against his, turning slightly to plant a kiss on his cheek.

"Some of us are trying to eat you know," George said in a growl. "Damn crazily in love maniacs."

His wife Mary Ann gave him a shocked gaze, and he smiled innocently back, just as Hermione hit him with a piece of carrot.

"Hey," he yelped, throwing one right back at her. ¨

"Merlin," Molly cried in exasperation. "Every time we sit down at a dinner table…"

Her children, including the "adopted" Harry and Hermione, snickered heartily.

"And now you are the responsible parents," she continued unperturbed. "Yet your children are eating their food without fuss, sitting there like little angels. Wherever did I go wrong."

The snickering had evolved into a fit of laughter, and they all looked towards their kids who were indeed acting like small angels compared to their parents.

"Old habits die hard." Fred shrugged. "Once a trouble maker, always a trouble maker."

"Though uptight rule-crazed Head Girls seem easy enough to transform," George said with a wink in her direction, and she stuck her tongue out in response.

"I'm willing to take credit for that one," Draco volunteered, earning him warm chuckles across the table.

Hermione shuffled Alexis in the door of the large house with the red brick walls and the white window ledges, surrounded by a medium sized garden and romanticised by the rosebushes climbing up the walls of the house. She had loved the house instantly, knowing it was absolutely perfect for them to raise their small family. They had bought it and moved in just a week prior to Alexis's first birthday, and they had been living happily in it for four years. And she had no intentions to move.

She helped the little girl take her cloak off once inside the large entrance hall, and watched with a smile as she bounced into the living room. Glancing quickly backwards, she saw Draco close the front door while holding a yawning Jack on his left arm. She followed Alexis into the other room, where the girl had already jumped up into her favourite chair and found her favourite colouring book. Hermione grinned as she watched her stick her tongue out as she moved the colouring quill around the book. Her beloved daughter was already five years old. Another six years and she would be going to Hogwarts already. The thought made her smile, remembering her first year at the enchanted castle. She sure hoped Alexis would have a bit less excitement than she had during her years at the school. Having her eleven year old daughter searching for a stone on the third floor, wanted by an evil wizard and guarded by dangerous tasks, was not something she thrived for.

As she heard Draco talk quietly out in the entrance hall, she particularly remembered a spoiled, bratty Slytherin being a pain in the arse from day one. So many years later, the thought almost made her chuckle, remembering how obnoxious he had been. And despite replaying the memory of the first time he had called her a Mudblood, she couldn't conjure up any bad feelings. He had been a lost child, but he had found his place eventually.

Hermione surfaced from her reveries and noticed that Alexis was rubbing her eyes fiercely when she thought no one was looking. She chuckled, and moved over to the chair her daughter occupied.

"Come on, sweetie," she called. "It seems this is the right time to go to bed."

Her small face fell into a pout, "Mummy, I don't wanna."

"Well, when is Santa going to come if you never go to bed?" Hermione replied smartly.

"I can wait for him," Alexis suggested as her face lit up in an eager expression.

"Oh no, I'm afraid that won't work," Draco said just as he entered the large living room. "See, if Santa saw such a darling little girl like you he would want to wrap you up and give you as a present to someone else."

Her large, grey eyes widened and she laughed shrilly. "Daddy, that's not true."

"Oh no?" he asked, his eyes twinkling. "How could he pass on such a cute little present? Anyone in the world would be happy to get you."

"But how would he wrap me?" she asked, looking thoroughly confused.

Hermione had to bite her lip to keep from chuckling, and took the chance to take the book and quill out of the girl's grip as she was occupied otherwise. She put them back under the table, where Alexis had found them, and lifted her daughter up in her arms.

"Santa has his ways," Draco replied, his lips twitching.

"Merlin, you're a big girl," Hermione commented as she hoist Alexis further up on her arm.

"I've grown," the girl proclaimed happily, and her mother chuckled warmly.

She walked up the staircase to the second floor, and Alexis seemed too occupied with thinking about Santa Claus and how he would wrap her to even protest to being put to bed. Hermione put her down when they reached Alexis's room on the second floor, and began looking for the girl's pyjamas.

"Did you have a good time today?"

The girl nodded thoughtfully as she began taking her own clothes off. "Grandma made our drawings move."

"I saw! They were really pretty. We'll put them up on the wall tomorrow, how does that sound?"

"Next to the one with the rabbit?" Alexis asked expectantly.

"Definitely," Hermione promised as she handed Alexis her unicorn pyjamas. "Do you need any help?"

"No," the girl answered firmly. "I wanna do it."

Hermione watched patiently as the girl fumbled with pyjamas on her own, struck by how amazingly stubborn she was. Smiling crookedly to herself, she had to admit she knew where that trait came from. Alexis also wanted to brush her teeth on her own, so Hermione walked calmly towards the window as she waited, looking out over their garden. It was now covered in sparkling white snow, but in the summer it had a number of wonderful flowers and bushes, and she loved sitting outside by the large tree, preferably reading a book or watching the kids play. She would have Draco put up a bench there some day.

Once Alexis came skipping back in her room and jumped up on the bed, Hermione walked over and tucked the covers around her. She made sure that the stuffed animals were in place, and turned off the small lamp on the nightstand.

"Good night, love," she whispered and kissed her daughter on the cheek. "I love you."

"Love you too, Mummy."

She smiled as she walked out of the room, and it turned even wider when she met Draco just as she was crossing the hall. Their hands entwined for a short second before they passed each other, and entered the room the other one had just left. The room she entered had a small nightlight lit over the bed, since Jack was not too fond of the darkness. She couldn't blame him. The wizarding world was full of rather scary creatures after all. Neville had given Jack a book about the most common of creatures for his third birthday, and while the friendly Auror meant well, it had triggered a rather intense fear of what had hid in the dark of his room. Alexis, however, had taken a strong affection to the book and had 'read' it several times through.

Hermione crossed over to the bed, and noticed to her amusement that her son had already fallen into light sleep. She kept quiet, scared to disturb him, and only stroked his dirty-blond hair out of his forehead before heading back out of the room. Silently, she crept up and leaned against the doorway, watching Draco bend over Alexis' bed. She smiled widely as he turned around walking silently out of the room, and Hermione backed slowly away from the doorway so he could close the door behind him.

She smiled quickly at him, before darting into their bedroom for a quick change of outfit. The dress she had worn to The Burrow was far too fancy to just sit around in, so she jumped out of it and drew one of Draco's large t-shirts over her head instead. With a swirl of her wand, she removed the make up on her face, never being quite comfortable with all that stuff on, and she pulled her wild curls up in a pony tail.

When she came back downstairs, only dressed in his grey Tutshill Tornados supporter t-shirt, he was hanging up their stockings over the fireplace, using a sticking charm to make them hold. She smiled mischievously and flicked her wand towards the fireplace with a quiet 'Incendio'. Draco yelped in surprise as the fire ignited and he shot backwards. When he realised it was only the fire being lit, he turned around in confusion and found her standing by the couch looking pleased with herself.

"Trying to give me a heart attack so you can inherit my great fortune?" he asked with his eyebrow raised, and she noticed his eyes ran up and down her figure for a short moment.

"Darn it, you've seen right through my act," she answered with a playful grimace. "May I poison you with a cup of cocoa?"

"Only if I can help you make it."

She gave a short chuckle and shuffled past him, the floor feeling cold against her bare feet. Once in the kitchen, she opened the fridge wide and peered inside as she heard him enter.

"I'm getting hungry again," he confessed with a short laugh. "That Weasley lot is getting to me."

"Well, I am too," she said absently, bending down to see what they had. "And they're definitely getting to you."

She turned to him with a short smile, as he seemed to ponder her words.

"Good or bad?"

"Good," she said simply, before falling quiet for a moment. She leaned on the open door of the fridge, looking thoughtful. "How about you make the cocoa, and I'll throw some sandwiches together?"

"Sounds perfect," he agreed, and they began working in silence.

They stood next to each other by the kitchen counter, stealing a glance at the other one, now and again sharing a quick smile. She was buttering the sandwiches when she felt him look at her.

"I like putting the kids to bed." He smiled, flicking his wand in a movement she had never quite understood. Magical cooking had never been her strong suit.

"Yeah, Jack is so adorable with his little nightlight." She chuckled, feeling warmed by the thought of their family.

"My son... afraid of the dark," he said, shaking his head, but the twinkle in his eye revealed how little it bothered him. "Well, at least he won't be a Gryffindor."

Hermione broke into a loud laugh and turned to him with a mischievous smirk. "How do you know?"

"Because if he was Gryffindor material, he wouldn't be afraid of the dark would he?" Draco answered with his eyebrow raised, indicating he thought the matter was obvious.

"Do I really have to remind you of Neville? He was afraid of just about everything, at least in the beginning."

"Longbottom," Draco drawled. "I had forgotten about that little wuss."

"Draco," she chastised, narrowing her eyes. "Neville was a great support for Harry, and still is as they work together at the Ministry."

He rolled his eyes, but relented and gave her a small smile.

"All I'm saying is that there are several kinds of bravery," she continued.

"Even so. My son is a Slytherin. I can feel it," he said forcefully, and turned to watch her finish up the sandwiches.

"And good for him if he is", she said simply. "As long as they get friends and feel home in their house, I don't care."

"So you don't care if Jack gets sorted into Slytherin?" he asked incredulously as she took the plate from the counter, ready to leave the kitchen behind. "I know you only want our kids to be happy, but even you can't be that free of prejudice."

"Oh alright," she admitted as she lead the way into the living room. "I would perhaps be a bit worried if he was. But not because I think Slytherin is a bad house, just because I don't like the environment he'd be in."

Draco watched her as she spoke, and had to hide a smile as her voice once again grew eager and a strand of her hair popped out of place. She sat down on the couch, putting the plate down on the table, and he followed her lead.

"I mean… even if you turned out to be a somewhat decent guy…" He gave her an almost insulted look, and she smirked. "I'm a Muggle-born, and the entire house of Slytherin is generally against us even being alive. And I still don't like Crabbe or Goyle, or that Pansy whatshername. I don't like the attitude of the people in that house. I can't help it."

"Oh, we both know why you disliked Pansy," he said calmly, avoiding her questioning gaze. When she didn't say anything, he put her out of her curious misery. "You've been jealous ever since you caught us kissing in that storage cupboard."

To her horror, she ended up blushing furiously and he fell into a mad cackle. "I disliked her long before that, but it certainly didn't help," she huffed, and stared down on her hand that lay resting in her lap. She was taken back to that day in the cupboard, and nearly fumed at the image of her kissing Draco.

"Stupid Pansy with her perfect face and her straight, silky, black hair that she can flip over her shoulders in a seductive movement. And stupid full, red lips that probably kisses better than anyone, and…"

Her tirade was cut short by his laughter, one he had tried to stifle, but he had obviously failed as it tumbled out. She grimaced and reached for her cup of cocoa. Heat shot through her as she gripped around it, and she brought it to her mouth to blow it colder. Suddenly, her eyes caught something unusual in the liquid.

"Oh... Draco," she said remorsefully, and she looked over at him where he lay sprawled against the back of the couch wearing a growing grin. Her eyes darted back to the cup of cocoa where the brown chocolate powder sprinkled over the foam spelled I love you.

She put the cup back down without ruining the work he had done, and turned to him with soft expression. Feeling ashamed, she bit her lip in uncertainty, but pulled into a smile when he chuckled and pulled her down towards him.

"I think it's so cute that you've been jealous of Pansy after all this time," he smiled before running his hand over her shoulder and down her back, coming to rest in the small of it. "But why you ever would be, is beyond me. Who cares about straight black hair and seductive movements?"

Hermione muttered something incoherent, and he just shook his head.

"You're perfect," he whispered against her ear and she caught herself shivering slightly. "Looking all cute and lovely with your hair pulled away from that soft neck of yours. Wearing my t-shirt, exposing those wonderful legs. And guess what…"

"What?" she asked breathlessly as he held her firmly.

"The only one I want to kiss is you," he revealed and found her lips before she got a chance to reply. Her heart beat oddly in her chest as she answered his soft kiss, and when their tongues entwined she wondered how he could still make her feel this way. When she pulled away, she wore a silly grin as she ran her finger down his cheek.

"Our cocoa is getting cold," she said quietly.

"How can you even think about that right now?"

He looked so indignant she nearly burst out laughing, but she just hoist herself back up in sitting position and reached for her cup. With a flick of her wand she had reheated it, and reached over to reheat his.

"We're married," she answered softly. "And in a little while we will retreat to the bed we share. There's no rush."

He smiled at that, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. "I like hearing you say we're married."

"You're so possessive." She laughed, curling her feet up underneath herself on the couch, sipping intently from her cup.

"I am," he admitted with a slight grimace. "I like knowing you're mine."

She didn't answer at that. All she did was grin, and handed him a sandwich from the plate. He took it gratefully, and bit in, looking distant in thought. Hermione swung her feet over his lap and sat snuggled into him in silence for a moment.

"Did you finish that report for Aveson?" she asked as she too reached for a sandwich.

"No." He sighed. "I still have all too much left, but I'm not spending my Christmas on it"

"You still have time even if you wait until Boxing Day," she mused. "I have the morning shift that day, though."

"I'll get it done somehow."

"If it gets too bad I'll help you out," she announced, licking her fingers contently as she finished her food.

"That would be greatly appreciated," he said, smiling. "It'll get done somehow."

"I still think it was unnecessary of him to assign that report so close over Christmas," she sulked.

"Aveson isn't one to care much for sappy family traditions such as Christmas."

"Well, maybe he should consider that the rest of us would like some time together."

"We have time now." He grinned, running his hand over the bare legs she had swung over his lap.

"Actually, we don't," she said with a small pout. "We have to get the presents under the tree, as well as fill the stockings."

He groaned dramatically, and sent her a begging look that she knew from far away. It was, without a doubt, asking her to drop everything and stay right there on the couch with him, but she swung her feet of his lap and vanished their mugs back into the kitchen.

"Come on," she urged, and laughed when he saw his defeated expression. "Draco Malfoy, you're not honestly suggesting to disappoint your children on Christmas Day?"

With that she knew she had gotten to him, and he rose from the couch, though not without muttering disappointed to himself. Shaking her head at his reluctance, she ignored his hushed speech and hunched down by the large Christmas tree they had put up a while ago.

"_Accio_ presents," she chanted, and laughed as Draco had to dodge the hovering bag as it came darting around the stairs towards her.

"I knew you were trying to kill me," he joked, and leaned against the banister as she sat down on the floor beside the tree and began searching inside the bag.

Draco watched her set to work with admirable determination, taking the opportunity to observe her without her noticing. He noticed her curls were slowly untangling from the pony tail, some of it falling gently onto her shoulders as she bent forward to place a package carefully under the tree. She looked as good as she ever had, comfortably wearing his t-shirt, sitting cross-legged on the floor, revealing milky white skin from the thigh down. He took a deep breath, and saw her expression soften as she looked at one of the nametags. She looked so beautiful and happy that he didn't even care who had triggered the reaction, he didn't even care if it was Potter.

"Could you do the stockings?" she asked, suddenly turning her head upwards towards him.

He snapped out of his dreamlike state, and gave her his most winning smile in reply. As he strode past her, he let his hand run over her hair and when he turned to look at her, she was smiling softly at him. His stomach did a flip, and once again he reminded himself of how lucky he was to have someone like her in his life. He sure didn't deserve it after all the pain he caused her, but she had still taken him back, and it still shocked him how devoted she was to him and their family. He had never had anyone stand by his side like she did, and it baffled him almost every day.

As he watched her put the presents down with care, he was reminded of the early hours of that same day. Even if it was Christmas Eve, he had left Hermione in bed at seven, sighing in annoyance as he watched her smile groggily at him, her hair spread out on the pillow like a wavy fan. He wanted nothing more than to just stay, but instead he left her there and retreated to the office further down the hall of the house.

The report for Aveson had been sorely neglected until then, and he had no choice but to begin working on it, no matter how badly he wanted to just enjoy Christmas with his family. He was flipping through the stacks of paper on his desk when he heard her taking the kids down to breakfast, and he sighed heavily again, trying to block out the urge to go downstairs. Trying his best to forget he even had people he enjoyed being with, he hoped he could focus enough on the paperwork to actually get it done. He rested his head on his left hand as his right lead the quill across the crisp, official parchment, and he looked up to crosscheck his numbers. Suddenly he felt a pair of soft hands on his shoulders, firmly rubbing away the tension, and after mere moments he relaxed entirely against them.

"Making any progress?" she asked quietly, her hands now resting lightly on his shoulders. He sighed in reply and leaned back to rest his head against her. She chuckled. "Oh, it's going that well."

"It's not that difficult, there are just certain things I would rather do right now," he replied with a slight smile.

"Well, in a few hours we're going to The Burrow for Christmas dinner," she consoled. "I made you breakfast, by the way."

He leaned his head back further to look up into her face, meeting that warm smile that always reached her eyes. "Really?"

She nodded slowly. "Your favourite bagel and the largest mug of coffee I could find."

He chuckled appreciatively as the plate appeared on the side of his desk, looking very tempting indeed. Looking at the workload he still had left, he sighed again before bringing his hand to rest over hers on his shoulder.

"I left the mischief makers by the breakfast table," she said apologetically, planting a quick kiss on top of his head. "I swear to God, sometimes you'd think I had an affair with Fred or George. That girl is more imaginative than I like to admit."

She moved out from behind him, and made towards the door as he gave her an accusative stare. Turning slightly, she looked at him with a crooked smile.

"Jealous because of my imaginative affair?" She grinned, and when he just huffed in reply she gave a small laugh.

Draco watched her leave the room, feeling far less annoyed than he lead to believe. At least he wasn't annoyed at her, but he sure as hell was annoyed at Aveson. What he would give to have breakfast with his family on Christmas Eve... but he kept working, making sure he would have the entire afternoon free to visit the family and friends at The Burrow, and the entire evening and night free to spend with his wife. When he eventually wrapped up, he was running extremely late, so he sprinted into their bedroom to get dressed. He put on his nicest pair of designer dress robes, and finally found his favourite tie in the large closet. Turning towards the mirror, he carefully tied the tie into a neat knot, scrunching up his nose in concentration. The second he tightened it, he smirked satisfactory to himself for a millisecond before his eyes widened in horror. His beautiful emerald tie suddenly shrunk and a horrible Christmas pattern with awful, harsh colours appeared on it. Just when he thought it couldn't get worse, that horrendously annoying Muggle Christmas tune sounded through the room in a high-pitched tone, clawing at his sensitive ears.

He wheeled around, searching the room with a feverish look plastered across his face. Soon, a low cackle could be heard from the bathroom, almost indistinguishable over the horrid Muggle tune he had always hated with a fiery passion. Recognising his wife's mischievous cackle, he strode over to the bathroom door with angry steps, and flung the door open in a rush. He found her sitting on the side of the large tub with her hand clapped over her mouth, looking disgustingly entertained. When she took in his flustered appearance and the short, tacky tie, she howled with laughter, not bothering to stifle it anymore.

"What the bloody hell are you playing at, Granger?" he shrieked, throwing his hands frustratingly out from his body.

She snickered contently. "I'm just giving you a bit of holiday spirit."

"This horribly tune," he whined, putting on his perfect spoiled-Malfoy look. "It's doing my head in."

"How can anyone hate Jingle Bells?" she commented incredulously. "Anyway, I think you look dashing. Like a very Christmassy ferret."

He scowled at her in annoyance, mumbling something under his breath when she once again fell into an amused chuckle. She got up from her uncomfortable seat, closed the distance between them and began fiddling with the tie, tightening it even more.

"You look so cute," she squealed, and he replayed her with a vengeful glower.

"You're completely nuts, Granger."

He always did fall back into the habit of calling her Granger whenever he was particularly annoyed with her, or if he just wanted to tease her. It never really mattered that her name was no longer Granger, cause quite frankly... calling her by her present surname was rather pointless. Draco suddenly caught the sight of himself in the bathroom mirror, and reluctantly gave a snort of laughter. He looked absolutely ridiculous. Hermione's eyes widened in surprise, and she laughed with him for a brief moment, before pulling him in to plant a quick kiss on his lips. He moved to wrap his arms around her back, but she dodged his grip easily, and he gave her an accusing glare.

"Ugh, take off that horrible tie, Mr. Malfoy," she said, her eyes twinkling before she muttered the counter spell on her way out of the bathroom, stifling a quiet laugh.

Draco shook his head, and landed safely back in the time of the present, once again looking over at her as she had now reached the bottom of the large bag of presents. He watched lazily as she scrambled to her feet, the t-shirt riding up her gorgeous legs as she pushed herself up. She stretched her hand over her head in a low growl, exposing even more of her to him. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her, and before he could stop himself — not that he really wanted to — he had made his way over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She gave him a sweet smile, and snuggled close to his chest as he pressed her closer.

"You know..." he began in a low voice. "I have naughty ideas right now."

She smirked at that, quirking her eyebrow slightly in a challenging manner. "Well... I' a bit tired, so I don't know."

"I still have a certain tie.."

"Why didn't you just say so?" she cried, and dragged him harshly by the hand towards the stairs. He laughed loudly as he was pulled along, and he couldn't help but wonder yet again what he had ever done to deserve her. She turned to give him a quick smile, reminding him immediately of everything he had in his life. Her simple smile held everything he was grateful for, and so much more.

_The End_

_---- _

**A/N:** - sob - Oh my god, I don't want it to be over! You guys have been absolutely fantastic, I just hit 400 reviews and I'm so happy I can hardly stand it! I want to mention some of the people who have been here all along, and I just want you all to know I appreciate it SO much.

Dracoshott28, nic smiles, Indulgent Writer, sarahyyy, wasu, magic2008, waffenmac, myfish, dynonugget, umbridgeskitty, pstibbons, hotkat144, Miss DnG, Ankoku Dezaia, Isabella Heart, angelgurl079, mazatrix isstrange, EmeraldEyedDreamer, Nebel Engel, the-missing-arm-of-krum, lvswtht, mentarisenja, cemicool, birdsong4, Pyroangel8605, KellyxOx, happyfeet17, mergy31, Theirsnothinginside, Eleven at heart, Evil Tobi.

If I forgot you, I am _truly_ sorry, but I'm doing the _thank you_s quickly to get it posted :(

**A very special thank you** to Jenny/elyaeru, who took the time to correct all my silly mistakes and rewrite some of my awkward sentences. And also for being super-inspiring and my bad!fic buddy.

!Please pass this fic on to everyone who may enjoy it, and if you liked this please do try my fic _Beneath Your Window_, which is of course another Dramione, and currently on its 20th chapter!

-sob- It's been so much fun! I'm going to miss your reviews in my inbox. Please do check out my other things, and so long! I shall be back with more Dramione.


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